Other kids getting DD (2.5) excited about school.. help - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 59 Old 09-20-2010, 03:49 PM
 
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Originally Posted by KittyDanger View Post
Here's a thought. Let her go to school if that's what she wants.
maybe im confused, are you saying child led learning means the parents are mindless drones following every whim?

im certainly not going to sign my kid up for school and send them off to be taught in a way i dont approve of just because they think its all glitter and glue and rainbows.

just like my daughter LOOOOOOVES hfcs, gmo, red dye #40 crap candy- i do not just let her have at it, full tilt. I dont stock the fridge and cupboards with it because she wants it all the time. I dont support the production of it by buying it, if its offered to her I offer guidance, and then let her make the final decision.

i try to expose her to whole food, naturally flavored and dyed candy, i buy her treats that are not as harsh on her system, etc.

you take their lead... and surround them with enrichment.

i may believe that child led learning is ideal, but that doesnt mean i check my brain and my 29 years of life experience at the door.

its not as simple as "your child wants it! you are still controlling them under the guise of not controlling them! see? your whole philosophy is corrupt!"

unschooling isnt some rigid thing that we must follow to the letter.

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Originally Posted by WindyCityMom View Post
I totally agree. I think I'll go back to being a lurker in this thread and continue reading through previous posts.


dont do that- the forum needs new threads about this stuff.


as for the op dilemma-

my waldorfy unschooly kids play school- their dad is working on his masters, so they see him doing homework/writing papers, etc.

when they talk about going to school, i just say, "if when you are older you want to go to high school or college- you can" and leave it at that until they get closer.

my 5 year old loved school play at 2-3... but this year when her peers were off to school she had ZERO interest of leaving home and me and her siblings for over 20 hours a week.

they change.

personally, i am the opposite of everything my own mother wanted for me, and everything she passionately hated in society.

she worked hard to be a professional woman so that i would not end up "a stay at home mom having to use cloth diapers and depend on a man" :P

i try to not make anything out to be awful... just not the thing we are into as a family at the moment, and allow for change.
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#32 of 59 Old 09-20-2010, 04:25 PM
 
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I just sort of answer conversationally with "oh, yeah?" and see where the conversation goes. Dd did go to school for a year (montessori), but eventually we took her out because she kept asking to stay home.

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#33 of 59 Old 09-20-2010, 04:28 PM
 
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I just sort of answer conversationally with "oh, yeah?" and see where the conversation goes. Dd did go to school for a year (montessori), but eventually we took her out because she kept asking to stay home.
thats the best way of finding out what it is they are wanting...

more craft time
worksheets (my dd1 loves to fill out sheets)
more playgroup/friend time q

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#34 of 59 Old 09-20-2010, 11:36 PM
 
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"By the time kids are partway into elementary school and start to realize that school sucks"....You can't call this child-led, when using inflamatory language like this. What happens if a child thinks school doesn't 'suck'...then what?

Okay, I was using a bit of hyperbole to make my point. However, I don't think we're sharing the same definition of "child led" here...

Unschooling is child-led LEARNING. To me, that means following my child's interests and allowing them to dictate the pace and breadth of their learning. It's not about choosing between school and unschooling. For me, that is right up there with choosing whether to use a car seat, or what groceries I should bring home from the store. If you are talking about something else, then we're speaking at cross-purposes here.

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I understand what Kitty is trying to say-and saying it well. You can't call it child-led if you create an atmosphere at home of 'school sucks'.
First, I don't do that. And I don't need to because the message is loud and clear from popular media and culture in our society. Once the kids pass the preschool/kindergarten/grade 1 age the propaganda stops and now it's commonly portrayed in our culture that kids hate school. Witness the cheers of joy when school gets closed due to snow. My kids will soon pick up on the message that school sucks, just by being exposed to popular culture.

But what I didn't say in my post, though I implied it, is that after my children have had a chance to experience unschooling for a few years so that they truly understand it, I would be open to sending them to school if they wanted to, and then it would be their choice, and an informed decision. So saying I would never let my preschooler decide on school does not mean that an older child would not be given the freedom to do so.

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You need to open your mind to the fact that being child-led might mean your child loves school.
Absolutely! But how could a 2.5 year old know that? My point is that I feel it's safer to start with unschooling and then let them go to school once they've got an understanding of how unschooling can serve them (if that is their choice). Because I see doing it the other way as fraught with difficulty (due to social pressures mentioned earlier) not to mention the time it will take to deschool.

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Your role surely as a child-led advocate is to offer opportunities and let the child decide, not your bias decide.
Again, it is child led LEARNING, not child-led life. I don't let my child decide whether to use a car seat, or what groceries to buy. Seems like we have a different understanding of what that term means.
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#35 of 59 Old 09-23-2010, 01:30 PM
 
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I faced a similar dilemma when my daughter was that age a few years ago. Everywhere we turned, people where promoting the wonders of school. I was afraid she would be upset/disappointed when all her friends started school and she didn't. The way we handled it was to start attending homeschooling/unschooling functions/activities when my DD was 2.5yo. Even though she was still so young, I thought it was important for her to have already established friendships and a sense of community with other homeschoolers so that by the time she was 4 or 5 she wouldn't feel singled out and left behind when kids she knew started school. By having already spent several years within the homeschool/unschool community, when she was "school age" she was able to see "going to school" as just another choice some families make (much like eating meat or being vegetarian) rather than the be-all end-all it is frequently presented as. My DD is now 6 and we've been able to weather the going-to-school vs homeshooling transition without much difficulty. In fact, by being firmly rooted in the homeschool community, she wasn't even troubled when a few of her homeschool friends decided to go to school afterall.

I'm not sure where in the city you are but there are a number of homeschooling/unschooling groups in the city. If you are interested, I can PM you more specific info about a few of them.

Good Luck!
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#36 of 59 Old 09-24-2010, 06:33 AM
 
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We aren't planning to unschool but I like to look on this board for ideas.. My daugther is 3 1/2 and has been asking about school since she could say the word. It is common around here for children to start preschool at around 1 1/2 (yea, that includes desk work and the teachers showing flashcards the whole 9 yards). I like to try to figure out what she is excited about and add it to the day so she doesn't feel like shes losing out. For example things shes been excited about:
Bus rides- I took her on a tour. I also explained to her how the school buses work, how long she would be on them (without me or her sister with her) and let her see the kids starting to get ready to get on. Once she saw that most of the kids weren't happy to be getting on the bus and she got the experience of riding a bus she hasn't mentioned it again.
Worksheets- She LOVES worksheets. If I let her she would sit and do them all day long. I got her several workbooks and put them in plastic page protectors now she can do them, erase them, do them, erase them.
Learning about animals, dinosaurs and learning to read- I made sure to plan these into our day and answer her questions. I haven't touched the reading thing yet because shes a profectionist already and I don't know if she could grasp reading at her age. I worry about her getting discouraged. We did try 100 EZ Lessons and she stopped half way through lesson two told me it was boring and asked when she was actually going to learn to read.
The whole excitement of getting ready for school was a big thing a month ago so I let her get some "school" supplies (crayons, glue, glitter, paper) and pick out fabric for a back to school dress.

I am getting tired of strangers in the store asking her where she goes to school and who her teacher is. My DH,however, taught her to say she "goes to the school of Mommy Awesomeness and Awesome Mommy is her teacher". It takes people a while to figure that one out.
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#37 of 59 Old 09-26-2010, 11:48 AM
 
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If you don't want your child exposed to information on things your family doesn't or won't do then I suggest you never let her out of the house. I don't really understand the problem here. So what if other kids/people are telling her about how great school is, if your plan is to unschool then you start talking to her about it when she understands. We don't eat fast food, lots of my ds's friends do. When he asked why he can't I explain to him why this is how our family operates, all families are different. Same with certain toys, movies, TV, etc. Its really not that complicated. Your dd is going to be exposed to a lot of things in her life that are not things that are right for your family. Get used to it and learn how to deal with it or don't let her associate with any one outside of you immediate family. If you want to only be around like minded people you could probably find a commune somewhere that would be a good fit for your family. Its ridiculous to expect others not to talk to your dd about school or other things that those terrible :mainstream: kids do. You are her parent, you better learn how to deal with outside influences pretty quick or, as I said, don't allow her to associate outside of you and your dh.
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#38 of 59 Old 09-27-2010, 12:24 AM
 
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If you don't want your child exposed to information on things your family doesn't or won't do then I suggest you never let her out of the house. I don't really understand the problem here. So what if other kids/people are telling her about how great school is, if your plan is to unschool then you start talking to her about it when she understands. We don't eat fast food, lots of my ds's friends do. When he asked why he can't I explain to him why this is how our family operates, all families are different. Same with certain toys, movies, TV, etc. Its really not that complicated. Your dd is going to be exposed to a lot of things in her life that are not things that are right for your family. Get used to it and learn how to deal with it or don't let her associate with any one outside of you immediate family. If you want to only be around like minded people you could probably find a commune somewhere that would be a good fit for your family. Its ridiculous to expect others not to talk to your dd about school or other things that those terrible :mainstream: kids do. You are her parent, you better learn how to deal with outside influences pretty quick or, as I said, don't allow her to associate outside of you and your dh.

i think being exposed to the world is different from what the OP is talking about.

if it was a societal norm for all children to start going to mcdonalds at the age of 4- and you refused to let your child- you might find yourself wondering how to approach the situation after the 50th person said, "your 4! wow! you get to go to McDONALDS THIS YEAR!"

lol

its annoying...part of the decision for sure... but absolutely something every stranger feels like talking about.

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#39 of 59 Old 09-28-2010, 08:42 AM
 
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after numerous invitations, and merciless nagging I finally let Hs dd,7, join her village friends at the PS for lunchtime and recess

she is an only in a village where we must seek out playmates

the "new" teacher was gracious and welcoming
the classroom was not inviting.
her friends who usually scream up and down and hug when they see her
were grumbling at their desk

loud hip hop was playing, the teacher apologized.
I guess kids choose lunchtime music.

I returned and gathered her up after recess.

She wants to join recess again, funny she did not ask to go to class.

I think she saw the same picture I have been painting of classroom life.

She has told me she wants to go to school since she was 3. "because that's where all the kids are."
She also wants to drink wine, drive, and ride over the white line in traffic !
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#40 of 59 Old 09-28-2010, 11:44 AM
 
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My Ds, now 4, was excited by people around him about school for a few years. When he was ready to be in a group for some learning we joined a homeschool/preschool co-op that we are still members of. It seems to fill his need of "school friends". As he gets to school age we will either sign him up for classes that interest him or the Options program (which is a local one day a week school program for homeschooled kids).

I think at 2.5 kids are barely ready to play with one other child let alone 25.

While we follow a very child-led approach to learning in this house we are not radical unschoolers, I feel that it is within my responsibility to limit what my four year old is exposed to, actually I call it parenting. That doesn't mean that we shelter him, just that not everything is fair game. And one of those things is school. As he gets older it may become a discussion we have, but 2.5 isn't the time, neither is 4.

As a side note I am also getting tired of how harsh people are in this sub-forum. For me the concept of unschooling was about accepting what was right for each child, if that is true why doesn't extend to other people as well. We are all going to approach our children's learning journeys differently, because of our children, ourselves, and our community. It seems strange to me that the area that is supposed to be discussing the most freedom often has the people with the most narrow views.
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#41 of 59 Old 09-28-2010, 12:20 PM
 
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If I had a philosophy that my children were not allowed to attend school under any circumstances, I would have been honest enough to not downplay their natural curiosity, but rather tell them that despite that, they would never be allowed to choose school. Not being snarky, just saying that I personally feel that if our choices for our children's education are paramount, then we should just be upfront about it because it means that the child's views or wishes essentially do not count, and won't count. You can present it anyway you want to, but in the end, the parent controls the decision making, so why worry about what other kids are doing? It won't ever really matter if there aren't choices or conversation. JMO.
I think this is somewhat fair. If you do not expect to allow your child to go to school, be upfront about it. It may save you and your family a lot of angst-filled hand wringing on whether to try school or not.. FWIW, I think many of us have age limits around such things - I would not allow a child under 10 to choose school unless HSing was clearly not working (and even then it would not be their choice but a family decision), but I would allow an older child. Yes, the same holds true if they were in school. If I as the parent genuinely believed school was for the best, I would not allow a young child to choose HSing.

OP, I must say I slightly regret letting my youngest child (in particular) watch as much TV as she has. All she watches are shows that promote school as great and I find it grating. She has never expressed interest in going to school, but I do find the constant promotion of school grating. It is such a school dominant culture we live in.

I would not limit exposure to generally positive people, though. I would be careful not to link doing worksheets with school - indeed many worksheets are done at home by HSers! I would also not limit contact with friends who talk about schooling, but I would endevour to give a balanced view as time goes on.
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#42 of 59 Old 09-28-2010, 12:34 PM
 
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As a side note I am also getting tired of how harsh people are in this sub-forum. For me the concept of unschooling was about accepting what was right for each child, if that is true why doesn't extend to other people as well. We are all going to approach our children's learning journeys differently, because of our children, ourselves, and our community. It seems strange to me that the area that is supposed to be discussing the most freedom often has the people with the most narrow views.
Well, the harsh replies seem to be mostly from people who do not unschool, or even homeschool their children, but are keen to point out any perceived hypocrisy they find here. While I think it's fine for people who don't unschool to post in this forum, I do get tired of people who don't unschool coming here to tell us how we're doing it all wrong.
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#43 of 59 Old 09-28-2010, 01:50 PM
 
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I totally agree. I think I'll go back to being a lurker in this thread and continue reading through previous posts.
Please do not be scared off. Stay!
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#44 of 59 Old 09-28-2010, 07:13 PM
 
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Well, the harsh replies seem to be mostly from people who do not unschool, or even homeschool their children, but are keen to point out any perceived hypocrisy they find here. While I think it's fine for people who don't unschool to post in this forum, I do get tired of people who don't unschool coming here to tell us how we're doing it all wrong.
In looking back I see what you mean. Honestly I'm just tired of all the angry people I've interacted with in all parts of my life in the past few months...makes a woman want to find a mountain top to live on.

But lets not derail this thread.
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#45 of 59 Old 10-25-2010, 12:02 AM
 
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Well, the harsh replies seem to be mostly from people who do not unschool, or even homeschool their children, but are keen to point out any perceived hypocrisy they find here. While I think it's fine for people who don't unschool to post in this forum, I do get tired of people who don't unschool coming here to tell us how we're doing it all wrong.
As someone who is honestly thinking about Unschooling and seeking real advice, honest opinions, and practical tips this is so frustrating. I personally think argumentative comments should be removed. They are not helpful.
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#46 of 59 Old 10-25-2010, 10:15 AM
 
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I think the emotions are similar on each "side"
in discussions/misunderstandings about homeschooling, schooling and unschooling.

Fear being one emotion that is part of the current, much of the time.

Of course This fear is ANOTHER discussion.

It does seem to make sharing and learning more difficult.

However; when I acknowledge the fear as an aspect of the discussion, I find I am able to be as empathetic as I would like and enjoy each perspective.
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#47 of 59 Old 10-25-2010, 10:48 AM
 
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This discussion is about a 2.5 year old. At that age, my child wasn't even weaned. She wasn't even totally potty-trained. That's still a baby . It's not at all unreasonable for a mama to want to keep a child that age close by, at least for now. Who would really challenge that?

Parents make decisions every day regarding the welfare of their children. OP wasn't asking for help making one of those decisions at all. She was asking for suggestions in supporting a decision she has already made.
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#48 of 59 Old 10-25-2010, 08:01 PM
 
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disclaimer: we no longer homeschool/unschool. I clicked on this from the main page. However, when my kids were 2.5 we were planning on unschooling. (they started school when they were 10 and 12)

Anyway.....

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Originally Posted by baby-makes-3 View Post
This discussion is about a 2.5 year old. At that age, my child wasn't even weaned. She wasn't even totally potty-trained. That's still a baby .
She is a baby, and it's difficult to explain these philosophical ideas to one so young. Rather than trying to explain what your are NOT going to do, focus on what you will do, what "school" will look like for her. Homeschooling/unschooling groups tend to be very open about families with young children attending.

(Once, one of my DDs was asked where she would be going to school the next year, and she said the park! We'd been going to park days for a few months and she thought that seemed better than school. )

Check out and see what your city offers for homeschoolers. In many places, the zoo, science museum, etc. have special opportunities for homeschooled kids. "you'll take classes at the zoo!" might make sense to a 2 year old.

And yes, at some point, ALL kids should get to decide where they want to be educated. We could argue over the age for that decision, but no one could seriously think it's 2.

but everything has pros and cons  shrug.gif

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#49 of 59 Old 10-26-2010, 09:48 PM
 
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I personally think argumentative comments should be removed. They are not helpful.
I will admit that I've been prone to judgemental-ness in the past, and probably still am to a certain extent, but it's something I've really worked hard on. What I find is that, if someone really has a concern about a parenting style or philosophy, it would be so much more helpful if they would just ASK "So does the issue of X come up? How do you handle Y?" rather than "Parents who do that end up with kids who are X and do Y!"

In other words, if you hear about a family where the kids get to decide what they eat, instead of being all "I think it's abusive to let kids eat popcorn and lollipops all day" why not ask "do you find your kids get a balanced diet? how do you handle refined sugars and fats, which we are not evolutionarily equipped to deal with in unlimited amounts? how is nutrition approached in your family?".

As I practice this myself, I find it's so much easier to have a discussion where everybody feels comfortable. It's also okay to say "that wouldn't work with my kids because of A, B and C". That's different from declaring someone's practice as abusive or "un-parenting". Often times we make snap conclusions based on something we've heard "They say they do X and Y, therefore their kids must be Z". Rather than stopping and saying to ourselves "Well, no reasonable parent wants their child to be Z, so I wonder how this works for them?" and then ask.

I have no problem with non-homeschoolers or -unschoolers coming here to learn and discuss, even to share perhaps why it didn't work for them. but I don't like being judged and I sure don't like it when that judgement is based on ignorant conclusions that don't even apply to our lifestyle.

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#50 of 59 Old 10-27-2010, 10:26 PM
 
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I have no problem with non-homeschoolers or -unschoolers coming here to learn and discuss, even to share perhaps why it didn't work for them. but I don't like being judged and I sure don't like it when that judgement is based on ignorant conclusions that don't even apply to our lifestyle.
Well said. I never mind a debate - it's the name-calling and judgements that really turn a good discussion into an energy-sucker.

Love the comment about the 2 1/2 year old still being a baby. I think so many rush their little ones and we forget that they are still babies.
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#51 of 59 Old 11-13-2010, 08:08 AM
 
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UPDATE

 

after 3 trips to the PS playground, (which IS in reality Unsupervised,,,I SPIED FROM A DISTANCE) 

HS/US DD shared her feelings of heartbreak from BULLYING.

 

Needless to say, she will no longer be joining her "friends" on the ps playground as it has been discovered an "unsafe" place for her at this time.

 

This lack of "safety" was determined mutually after discussion.

 

She is in the process of discovering many of her choices lead her to places/people where she is not respected or "safe".

 

painful, but powerful.

 

 

 

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#52 of 59 Old 11-13-2010, 10:37 AM
 
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It was one comment from one person. She has her opinion and way of doing things, but she in no way represents the unschooling subforum and all the other people here.

 

I hope you will stay and continue commenting because the unschooling subforum needs your brand of honesty and forthrightness as well as your parenting ideals and day-to-day experiences.

There is a lot of room for all kinds of voices here!

Please stay.

 

 

I am enjoying this thread and seeing the perspectives shared in this thread.


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#53 of 59 Old 01-03-2011, 02:05 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by intentfulady View Post

UPDATE

 

after 3 trips to the PS playground, (which IS in reality Unsupervised,,,I SPIED FROM A DISTANCE) 

HS/US DD shared her feelings of heartbreak from BULLYING.

 

Needless to say, she will no longer be joining her "friends" on the ps playground as it has been discovered an "unsafe" place for her at this time.

 

This lack of "safety" was determined mutually after discussion.

 

She is in the process of discovering many of her choices lead her to places/people where she is not respected or "safe".

 

painful, but powerful.

 

 

 



 Aw I'm sorry mama. Hugs to you and your DD.

 

 

 

 

Well, I'm back :) I was poking around the US subforum and noticed my thread got bumped.  DD is now 3 and MIL buys her numerous things "for school", as in "HERE GRANDCHILD THIS IS FOR YOU FOR SCHOOL!!".  I'm incredibly irked (MIL is a whole 'nother post...) but my DD has decided that the backpack is for the beach.  My DD is very interested in school, but I think her interpretation of it is the "school" that her aunt and grandma go to- which is High School and a Community College.  Now that DD is 3, the questions are flooding in... "When will she start school?"  and "Where" and "Aren't you excited?!".  I am now wondering how to handle the "Aren't you excited" questions and comments, because they're implying that school is "Zomg the best thing since sliced bread!!" and although it very well might be just that, I would like to somehow lessen the prompting for excitement, if that makes any sense.  It's late.  If anyone can decipher that, please respond :)


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#54 of 59 Old 01-03-2011, 10:52 AM
 
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When ppl asked us about school when my first child was 3, I just said, we are planning to home school. Or I'd tell them about the fun co-op we did with other moms and kids at home.

Most ppl will not continue the conversation much further as they usually don't know what to say! It is usually one of those things where they are looking for common ground in conversation, so often I just return the question and ask them, and what about you? Aren't you excited for school? Is your child excited? It's the typical status quo rite of passage and everyone assumes everyone else does it. That's all.

 

Sometimes the parent just wants to gush on and on about how excited they are for "their own time" now that school is starting and their child is going off to school....I just smile and nod and remember come November that same parent will be complaining about how their child doesn't want to get out of bed in the morning and how homework takes so long at night yada yada yada.

 

When my kids talked about school, (my oldest was the only one to ask) I would ask what they thought would be exciting and fun. Then, I'd tell them what school is really like. He was surprised it wasn't like TV! There are rules and you can't talk to the person next to you, have to wait to get a drink, eat or go to the bathroom until the teacher tells you to, have to sit at a desk and not get up unless the teacher says you can, have homework to do at night, etc etc.

 

It changes. Now that my kids are the ages they are, they rarely care when ppl ask about school. In fact, my 5 yo says "I choose to homeschool and I get to play video games all day!" LOL

That reply of his grew out of an experience we had at a local park.

 

There were some school aged kids at the park who asked him what grade he is in. When he replied "18" (he loves numbers!) they started making fun of him. Until I walked up, friendly like, asked them what grades they were in and what they like about school ("lunch", "recess"). I asked them what video games they like to play and then commented that the video game was also a favorite of my son's (trying to help them find common ground). Then, I pointed out that we homeschool and he gets to play video games during the day and doesn't have homework. The conversation turned pretty quickly into "Wow, you are lucky!"

 

It is just normal to my kids now. Don't worry--you are just beginning establishing that family culture and in a few years, this most likely will be a non-issue.

 

You know, I wonder if you and your kids (and nosy extended family members :) would like this book. It was helpful to my kids and the pictures are cute, too.

 

"I Am Learning All the Time"


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#55 of 59 Old 01-03-2011, 01:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks! And thanks for the link :) That all makes sense.  I just don't want my DD to be thinking "Excited?  I'm supposed to be excited.  Mom, why am I not in school?  I am so unexcited."  I have no doubt that she'll love being at home, but I don't want her to feel like she's missing out on the best thing ever right off the bat.


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#56 of 59 Old 01-17-2011, 06:00 AM
 
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I have done all types of schooling.More so with my dd who did preschool.Even preschool can be a drag these days with the required busy work of tracing/writing letters when you don't want too. The thing about school is you have to do what the teacher tells you to do whether you want to or not. Not much fun if you want to play or paint.You eat only at snack time.And using the toilet outside of the usual times is discouraged.

 

K used to be about playing and singing(for me),but for my ds it was about learning to read,keeping your cloths pin in the green zone(be good),and get your busy work homework done.Sure there are the fun times of lunch(if you are allowed to talk that day) or recess if no one beats you up that day.

 

Even what I thought to be fun primary at Montessori still has parents pulling their crying kids out of the car.They are probably ok after a while,but seeing it daily at drop off makes me sad.

 

Pile up that school stuff MIL gets and just reassure your child that school will start where and when you feel it is best. You are hopefully moving soon and will be able to get through this with less MIL input. The pressure can be hard to put kids in something at 3-4 and then people get really antsy about putting a child in a formal K program at 5.  I caved at times to the pressure. I like the option of allowing a child to attend classes when they want too,but once you are in K level you have to follow the mandated school schedule,and face truancy issues if you miss too many days.

 

Kids won't really know what schooling out of the home is like unles they attend.It looks like all fun,games,and friendship on tv but it is often just an average daily grind of doing what you are told day after day. Ofcourse there are some exceptions,but my kids have yet to attend those types of places.Some kids love school no matter what-they just love it.

 

You will help your child find her way as the years go on. Don't stress to much right now. Just enjoy your time together and realize the lengths society go to in order to *excite* children about school is (for now) the norm.Just smile and keep doing things the way you want.I always reminded my kids that there are many different ways to school and child..some do public,some online,some private,and some homeschool.We did different things at different times and each is perfectly fine.

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#57 of 59 Old 01-18-2011, 06:17 PM
 
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I think it all boils down to why do you want your child to remain at home? Be upfront about it...to your child and those who are hyping up school.

 

 

For our family, attending a formal school is out of the question. I know we may be extreme, but both dh and I see formal schools as something akin to prison. I do not think well of them, and I highly doubt that I ever will. If ds ever enters a education facility, it will be after MUCH talk, and I will HAVE to be made to believe (BY HIM) that he has a full understanding of schools, the way they work, their alternate purposes, and that he still wishes to attend. Obviously, that sort of conversation simply cannot happen for years.

 

However, since we are so completely against schools, we are VERY upfront about our opinions. There simply is no tolerance for someone hyping up school to ds. DS has already observed children during recess, walking in lines, ect... and we have pointed out these restrictions as we see them. When we run into stories that discuss school, we avoid them...or create alternate stories to go along with them...or occasionally read them while explaining the obvious infringements upon the student's liberties that even the happiest school book discloses! We often walk around our local schools on the weekend, and have pointed out the gates, locks, keep-out signs, etc... 

 

I wouldn't say we're extreme. We may be extreme to other adults, etc... but WITH ds, we only point out in simple language the lack of freedom that exists in school. As such, he (though very young...only just turned 2!) does NOT think of school as a fun place. Therefore, he does not wish to attend (at least for now!)

 

Obviously, these are our views. I'm sure they are not shared by everyone, and I do not mean to say that they should. But, if you opinion on schooling falls somewhere along the, "I hope my child never ever attends a formal school." line of thought, then BE UP FRONT. Stop it before it becomes a larger issue. I'd especially be concerned about close family members. That would be a big no-no to me, and I'd have warning bells ringing!

 

Oh, and I guess we do RU, but this is one of the issues where it's like walking in the middle of the road. I wouldn't let ds do it because he may die! I wouldn't send my child to school before he met the above qualifications because it's VERY similar IN MY OPINION. 


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#58 of 59 Old 01-21-2011, 10:14 PM
 
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I hope this isn't OT, but I mostly allowed my children (older than your dd) decide if they wanted to go to ps - and - I allowed them to decide if they wanted to leave ps and return to hs'ing (I admit that I did my best to sway dd#1 to return home her last couple of years). This made me somewhat of an irritant, if not downright enemy to the schools my children sporadically attended. If I had to do it over again, I would have been more firm about them staying home.

 

My middle child told me that she counted up her total ps'ing time and they came up to ten months. She is unschooling now - totally responsible for her own learning and her latest "craze" is learning Japanese.

 

It's rough when a grandparent or other kids say something. When dd#2's friends used to try to convince me to let her go to ps, I would tell them, "No. I like myself too much." (long story - she hasn't been in ps since 6th grade and it wasn't anywhere near a full year). It is possible that you can fend off the pre-k stuff and perhaps be in a more conducive environment for home/unschooling by the time she's five.

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#59 of 59 Old 01-21-2011, 10:36 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KittyDanger View Post
To me, the AP thing to do here would be: When your child reaches school age, if he or she still wants to try school you allow it. Then, if your child decides it is not right for him or her you explore other options.


Ha! I did this with dd#2 in kindergarten and she lasted one day. Apparently, she thought she was only going to go for that long. When I took her the next school day, she wouldn't get out of the vehicle. Another mom told me that she had to go to school some day, so I should just force her to do it "now". I said nothing, but inside I vehemently denied that lie (and I knew the mother was simply repeating what she had been taught to believe).

 

Like I said in my previous post, I would do things differently now. I'd still let them try out ps, but I would make them wait until they were about ten years old.

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