anyone elses 6 yr old not reading - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 30 Old 09-26-2010, 06:28 PM - Thread Starter
 
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my 6 year old doesnt read refuses to try to read , we unschool now at this point, because she refuses to do anything with learning involved... any ideas?
we start ccd classes this week and i am afraid she will be the only not reading for her age....
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#2 of 30 Old 09-26-2010, 08:47 PM
 
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My six year old son doesn't read... But it's not a subject he's interested in right now, so I don't sweat it. What are CCD classes? I'm not sure what they are, but maybe is she isn't ready to read, she might not be ready for classes that are hinged on her ability to read.

I think that there is a time zone following the failed introduction of a subject( i.e. trying to teach your daughter to read and her hating it) in which that scudgy feeling about structured learning needs to be allowed to wear off. If she's not the kind of kid for sit down reading lessons, and you are happy with the unschool philosophy then it's a battle you don't need to fight.
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#3 of 30 Old 09-26-2010, 10:18 PM
 
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My 8 yo DD didn't read until she was close to 7. She is reading well now, in two languages (we speak and read both in our family). She resisted lessons or any instructions even when she wanted to learn, and we never pushed.

DS (5.5) is enjoying being taught. Different personalities.

My kids are 8, 5 and 2!
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#4 of 30 Old 09-26-2010, 10:22 PM - Thread Starter
 
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ccd classes are her religion classes required for her to make her sacraments.

My Dh agrees if she is not interested she will not learn, somedays i have thoughts of putting her in school... she is always bored and believe me we go somewhere everyday... I just cant seem to keep her occupied, i feel like I m failing. My Dh feels she would be even worse off in school and we would definitely be gettting calls from the school. So he feels she is better home to learn with us.. she just isnt interested in anything really, i get a bit worried she isnt learning anything some days... She does get out to play with kids a few times a week for a couple of hours, maybe she needs more kid time, there just isnt many around us, we do belong to a co-op every wed and she does ballet on monday and will be doing her religion classes on sunday, we take her and her sister everywhere we go. we just got back from disney world and then off to visit family, we moved here three years ago and i wonder if she is just so homesick, she does ask to go home a lot but we would have next to nothing to do back home i try to explain this to her but she doesnt seem to understand that... sorry to get off topic i am just burnt and feeling overwhelmed right now, and worried i am doing the wrong thing by homeschooling her.
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#5 of 30 Old 09-26-2010, 10:37 PM
 
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I actually put a thread about my dd not reading and got some great ideas.

I also found more books from my dd's hero, Fancy Nancy. Every night now, when dh gets home we pretend to tuck him in and she'll read two or three pages to him. She loves when he pretends to fall asleep.

Even tonight, she read some pages to her little brother as he's sick and felt so proud of herself. I had to find a way for her to love reading first and remembered that she's at the age where she wants to do everything on her own. So I gave her something for her to do on her own with her favorite book character.

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#6 of 30 Old 09-26-2010, 10:37 PM
 
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Are you sure she won't do anything with learning involved, or is her resistance really just to orchestrated learning or teaching of what someone else considers valuable to learn? Lots of times, a child might have lots of childlike interests a parent simply doesn't consider important, and all sorts of things get learned through those, but maybe not things that can be recognized as having school value. Many children aren't reading much at age 6 - mine didn't get introduced to reading till he was almost 7 and about to enter a little school where the 1st graders he'd be joining already learned 3 letter words in their kindergarten year there. There will probably be other children in the classes who are not very advanced in their reading skills, but there will probably be reading material coming home that you can read to her.

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#7 of 30 Old 09-26-2010, 10:39 PM
 
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i'm not an unschooler at all, but i wanted to pop in and tell you that my little boy is 6 1/2 and is just now learning to read. i'm talking very basic CVC words, sprinkled with some sight words (the cat is fat. dad likes sam). he could never actually be expected to read or write for the purpose of a class at his age, seriously... never. when my daughter was 6, she couldn't read either & now she'll be 9 in 1 week and can read anything. don't worry about it at all. when my little girl was involved in choir at age 6, they handed out sheet music with simple lyrics. she just told them she wasn't able to read yet, and they accomodated her completely. i think it is very normal & totally acceptable for a 6 year old to still be in the very beginning stages of *just* learning to read (and that is in reference to public school children or homeschoolers that follow a specific agenda - not unschoolers). i think children that read very well at age 6 should be considered above average for their age....and although it's great for them...it shouldn't be considered the expectation or the norm by any means. no worries, mama.

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#8 of 30 Old 09-26-2010, 11:30 PM
 
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Are you sure she won't do anything with learning involved, or is her resistance really just to orchestrated learning or teaching of what someone else considers valuable to learn? Lots of times, a child might have lots of childlike interests a parent simply doesn't consider important, and all sorts of things get learned through those, but maybe not things that can be recognized as having school value. Many children aren't reading much at age 6 - mine didn't get introduced to reading till he was almost 7 and about to enter a little school where the 1st graders he'd be joining already learned 3 letter words in their kindergarten year there. There will probably be other children in the classes who are not very advanced in their reading skills, but there will probably be reading material coming home that you can read to her.

Lillian
ITA with this. I find it hard to believe she is not interested in "anything". The number one job of children this age is to play. And not all children are social; my kids like to have many stay-home days because they just really aren't into playing with other kids all the time.

It is possible that there will be other non-readers in the CCD class. Not all kids learn to read in first grade, and of course those that don't start getting the message loud and clear that something is wrong with them, when it isn't. If I were you (and I'm not, so take my advice for what it's worth) I would speak to the CCD instructors and just tell them she isn't reading yet and ask how they will handle this. Hopefully they'll be cool about it, otherwise it's time to advocate.

And by the way, just a gentle piece of advice: the more your daughter becomes aware that you and her dad consider this an issue, the harder it will be for her to come to reading on her own. By pushing it or creating anxiety around it you risk making it an issue for her.

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#9 of 30 Old 09-27-2010, 01:26 AM
 
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I was wondering about writing == which is harder I think.

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#10 of 30 Old 09-27-2010, 01:38 AM
 
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my 6 year old doesnt read refuses to try to read , we unschool now at this point, because she refuses to do anything with learning involved...
I think you probably mean she doesn't want to sit down and do schoolwork the way it is traditionally taught. Have you tried Bob books? Explode the Code? Just reading to her so she can see what you are reading? If she has any particular interests, have you gotten beginner books about those subjects? If she watches TV, have you gotten any books based on her favorite TV shows? Graphic novels can be good because the words are right next to the pics...

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#11 of 30 Old 09-27-2010, 05:33 AM
 
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I have a 6.5 not yet reading...he is in the "close but no cigar" class. Hooked on Phonics made him Irrationally Angry .
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#12 of 30 Old 09-27-2010, 07:33 AM
 
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My 6 yo is not reading, at least not much, she knows a few words. I think the issue (that i struggling with also right now) is that yes, kids in public school kinder and 1st grade are pushed, pushed PUSHED towards that Holy Grail of READING! So a 6 yo who isn't reading probably will be something of an oddity. I think the hard thing will be moreso for YOU, to stand firm and not be swayed by pressure to "hurry her up" just because of the CCD classes. Remember..not pushing reading is a valid choice.

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#13 of 30 Old 09-27-2010, 11:35 AM
 
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I didn't learn to read until I was 6 1/2 (and that was with being in school). I can't imagine that your dd will be the only child in her CCD class who isn't reading. My ds was older when he started reading, closer to 8.

Mom to unschooling 4everboy since 8/01
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#14 of 30 Old 09-27-2010, 11:46 AM
 
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I have a 6.5 not yet reading...he is in the "close but no cigar" class. Hooked on Phonics made him Irrationally Angry .
Are you sure it wasn't rationally angry? Phonics doesn't make as much sense as people think.

And what is with a lower case L looking the same as an upper case I??? Why do we even bother with upper and lower case?

My ds would like to overhaul the english language and make it more sensible...

Mom to unschooling 4everboy since 8/01
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#15 of 30 Old 09-27-2010, 01:13 PM
 
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Are you sure it wasn't rationally angry? Phonics doesn't make as much sense as people think.

And what is with a lower case L looking the same as an upper case I??? Why do we even bother with upper and lower case?

My ds would like to overhaul the english language and make it more sensible...
Good point!
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#16 of 30 Old 09-27-2010, 01:21 PM
 
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My 7.5 year old is starting to read independantly. She read a book on her own the other day - first book ever!

I do not think it is unusual to for a 6 yr old not to read.

Things that helped:

In our case I tailor made a reading programs that seemed to work with her strengths. Lots of writing, drawing, games and some phonics. I keep this short (under 15 minutes) so she does not become frustrated, turned off, etc. I know this is not US - but whatever. I felt it is important she knows how to read so I took steps in that area. I know myself - if she could not read at 8 or 9 I would feel some anxiety/ a power struggle could develop so I pre-empted it

I upped the amount I read to her. This certainly accounted for much of the jump is skills she has displayed recently. I do ask her to read some of the page - then I continue to read until we both grow bored of the activity. Find very cool books so you will want to read as much as she will.
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#17 of 30 Old 09-27-2010, 01:47 PM
 
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Mine is not. But he was in public school last year and they said his testing showed him above grade level at the end of the year. So I guess this is normal. I am not worried. None of my older children were reading at 6 yrs old but were in the gifted programs by 3rd and 4th grades. They are both way ahead now and are 14 and 15.
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#18 of 30 Old 09-27-2010, 02:08 PM
 
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Are you sure it wasn't rationally angry?
Whew - that was close - had fortunately just swallowed the sip of coffee when I got to that. Lillian
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#19 of 30 Old 09-27-2010, 02:23 PM
 
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Ds (now 9) wasn't reading at age 6 either, and I was also freaked about what that was going to mean for classes he was interested in. I did some research and realized he was more inclined to sight words (he could identify huge dinosaur words, but words like 'the' and 'was' had absolutely no meaning attached to them, therefore they just didn't register). He is a visual-spatial learner ('right-brained'), and once I realized that, I also started to understand all that he was really capable of, reading-wise. So no, he didn't sit down and 'read', but if he needed to know something, or was looking at a book, he could pick out big words that were meaningful to him. So fast-forward to 9, and he is an unstoppable reader. We never forced the issue, we just kept answering his questions ("What does this say?" etc.) and filled in phonetic gaps when needed. So now he actually does pick up books and sit down and read. He is still more inclined to graphic novels, and other books that have visual clues. Lately he is into the "Warriors" series by Erin Hunter: Dh reads him the novels at night, and ds has some of the mangas and reference books that he reads himself during the day. It is soooooo exciting to see how the process has unfolded.

So I second what a lot of others have said. Make certain it doesn't become a battle, look into her learning style, and just keep reading to her! It will happen!
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#20 of 30 Old 09-27-2010, 04:47 PM
 
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My ds would like to overhaul the english language and make it more sensible...
Me too!!
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#21 of 30 Old 11-02-2010, 04:29 AM
 
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My ds would like to overhaul the english language and make it more sensible...
English is CRAAAAAZy! For that reason we read and enjoyed "The Word Snoop" which talks about all the oddities in the English language. We both found it reassuring. Starfall.com also breaks down the phonics rules into the most basic ones, without getting all into the lingo (I don't see the point in talking to a child about "long" and "short" vowels and having weird symbols - that's just confusing!)

DS is just over 7 and not reading yet, but somewhat interested in learning to read. He also *hates* being taught unless it's his idea, so we unschool partly because he knows what's good for him and won't put up with any of my schoolish nonsense! In his Kindergarten year, I pushed a bit (we were in a program that had "requirements"), and he became more resistant. Last year, other than getting him to review all the lowercase letters once, I just let it go. And really, only after a few more months did he start showing the least little signs of being ready to read and write: scribbling, drawing, asking about words. But he didn't start any of that until I let it go. Soooooo important.

I would say that it would be unusual for your child to be the only one in CCD classes who can't read yet. Are you sure she needs to start this year? When DD was in Catholic school, they only started Sacrament preparation in Grade 2, by which time most of them could read somewhat. Even then it was lots of read-alouds and drawing pictures. And if she's learning at home with you, she'll be less likely to be noticed as being "behind" than if she was in school with her agemates, yes? If it's a big issue, I'm sure if you discuss it with whoever is teaching the class you'll be able to make it work.

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#22 of 30 Old 11-07-2010, 12:40 AM
 
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My daughter is 6 1/2 and doesn't read yet. I kind of expected her to be an early reader because she was so precocious verbally and *loves* reading. When you add up all of the reading that I do for them through out the day, it comes to hours. She is beginning to show more interest in reading for the independence it would grant her, but I have a feeling that she will be wanting me to read to her for years and years to come - she loves the feeling of being read to.

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#23 of 30 Old 11-07-2010, 04:27 AM
 
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Just as an update, my dd just started reading....it was a "click" moment. I mean..you could SEE the wheels turning and the clicking happening. It's still a very beginning level, but she can now read some sight word lists and a couple easy books. I wantd to add this not as a brag or anythign, but just to say that WAITING did WORK!!! And then one day...it just clicked.

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#24 of 30 Old 11-07-2010, 12:14 PM
 
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Just curious...when you read to her do you do it in such a way that she sees the words?
My son is reading, and has shown interest for over a year. I think what helped his interest is that at bedtime rather than sitting on a chair and reading in such a way that he just sees the pictues, we lay in bed together. He lies on my arm with the book above us about the distance away that he would hold it. He started by following the words with his finger (even if not at exact speed). I knew he showed interest then. Bits of his books he had memorized so I let him "read" those parts and I traced the words...properly so he could see what he was "reading". Then one day I noticed he was tracing the words at the proper pace and in the right area. So now we take turns reading the story together. I read one page and he reads the next bit and tries sounding out bigger words and I let him know what the word is. He is now reading the Level 1 "I can Read" books, and he challenges himself to try to get to level 2 books.

Oh, I also spend a lot of time reading whatever words we came across. While driving he asks "what does that sign say?" same thing shopping. Now I encourage him to read what he can and I read the rest.

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#25 of 30 Old 11-09-2010, 02:02 AM
 
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I didn't work with my daughter on reading, but I read to her a lot and let her watch shows like Word World and Super Why. She never really cared for Sesame Street. And she did Starfall for a little while. Now she likes Electric Company and Word Girl. I won't say how old she was when she started reading, because it's kind of when they are ready or are motivated. Mine wanted to read because I wasn't keeping up with her demands to be read to.
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#26 of 30 Old 11-14-2010, 07:11 AM
 
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wave.gifFormer unschooling mama, here. I come in peace.

 

First, yes, it is very normal to have a non-reading 6 year old. Do not worry. They will accomodate, I am sure.

 

Second, as a former unschooling mama, I can relate to your feelings and I certainly empathize with your concerns. They are valid. It is hard to have a kid whom you believe is behind others, and is about to be thrust into a situation that may involve extensive reading.

 

Third, questioning your decisions, as well as the abilities and attitudes of your kids seems to go hand in hand with unschooling.

 

Do you read? I mean, of course you are capable, but do you read for enjoyment? Do you spend time sitting in quiet reading or reading aloud? These, we found, have been the key to getting the kids into reading. We had become so busy with life that reading wasn't even a daily thing for us (as so many people will atest is a very critical thing at this age). Once I realized how much they loved sitting with me to either hear me read, or to look at books ("read") beside me while I read to myself, I made it a point to do it as often as I had time to.

 

Finally, this is how it happened for DS (now 7.5 and reading Magic Treehouse chapter books):

While still unschooling, DS mentioned that some friends were good readers. I offered to help him learn. We tried the book, Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons, but we were not as consistent as we could have been. We borrowed Bob books from the library. He began reading the first level just as he was turning seven. He did not read often (not even every day), but slowly he began sounding out words everywhere we went. Little by little, DS used the sight words and what he had learned about CVC word families from the Bob books to sound out larger words. He is not particularly fluent, but he is now working on poems weekly to help with that part.

 

So, after some crazy months for our family, we made the decision to put the kids into a charter school. Thus, as we are no longer unschooling, I can't say what would have transpired this year in terms of his reading skills as an unschooler. However, when he entered the charter, he was considerably behind the schooled kids whom had two years of phonics crammed into them, as well as having memorized 120+ sight words. This has, however, not deterred him. One of the beauties of unschooling/homeschooling is that YOU are the primary influence on your child at a critical time in their development of self and self worth. We worked hard to instill in our kids that it is not about what they canNOT do, but about what they are able to do well, what they feel good about, and WHO they are that really matters in the grand scheme of things. And, for the most part, DS feels quite proud of his reading, regardless of the fact that his best friend at school is an amazing reader (reading at 7th grade level as a second grader). He now spends most of his spare time (by spare, I mean idle time not spent PLAYING, not just time he isn't working at schoolwork or at school), reading alone, reading to myself or DH, writing, or just playing school.

 

I am not sure if and how this post helps at all. Maybe my point is that kids will do what they see us doing. If you read, and read often and enjoy it, she will possibly do the same.

 

Good luck to you...


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#27 of 30 Old 11-15-2010, 05:40 AM
 
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. Mine wanted to read because I wasn't keeping up with her demands to be read to.


Yup.  My youngest is my latest reader for a number of reasons - but one of them is she enjoys being the baby and enjoys being read to.  Finding really cool books she wants to read, reading part of them, and then saying "you read it now, I am going to read my own book has helped".  Otherwise she was quite content with being read to all the time instead of doing it for herself, lol.

 

 

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#29 of 30 Old 01-04-2011, 01:06 PM
 
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Well here's an update of sorts from us. I had ds tested, and he's apparently got a visual processing disorder, ADHD, depression, anxiety, and possibly bipolar so that explains a lot. Sigh.



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#30 of 30 Old 01-08-2011, 08:56 AM
 
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Well here's an update of sorts from us. I had ds tested, and he's apparently got a visual processing disorder, ADHD, depression, anxiety, and possibly bipolar so that explains a lot. Sigh.


hug.gif  I found this book interesting, Misdiagnosis and Dual Diagnoses of Gifted Children and Adults http://www.amazon.com/Misdiagnosis-Diagnoses-Gifted-Children-Adults/dp/0910707642

 

I suspect my ds could have been diagnosed with a bowl of alphabet soup depending on who was doing the diagnosing so that book was reassuring to me since it explains what things rule out specific diagnoses, not just what things indicate them.  I've had strangers assume he has ADHD (he doesn't, he's spirited and gets "reved up" at times).  He does have mild anxiety but we keep things low key and avoid feeding it.  He definitely fell into a depression when he was in pre-k.  He has some sensory issues but nothing approaching SPD.  Reading the book was nice because it provided perspective.


Mom to unschooling 4everboy since 8/01
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