US and fire safety ideas - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 5 Old 11-10-2010, 06:17 AM - Thread Starter
 
umami_mommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: home is where the magic is
Posts: 5,121
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

(please do not post here if you are going to tell me my son is an emotionally disturbed firestarter who is going to burn us all up)

 

 

my 8 year old has a intense fascination with fire. we have always taught him fire safety. we have assisted him in learning to start fires in the fire pit and light candles. however, i keep finding evidence of him making poor choices in regards to burning things with incense and now lighting a pencil from halloween candles while his father and i and the 3 year old sleeping the day after halloween. 

 

we have spoken frequently to him about his behavior, but he feels he has mastery over fire and can control it if something bad happens. 

 

investigation online reveals that it is not unusual for kids like him (with poor impulse control and poor planning) to act like he does in regards to fire. i don't want to put him in a firesetting program. but i am not sure how to approach this at home. i'd like to do a formal fire safety program with him, but since we are unschoolers i feel awkward. 

 

any ideas? i don't want to terrify him, but he needs to understand that what he is doing could potentially be very dangerous. 

 

PS, he is my "safe" child. he is usually very careful and safety conscious. i leave him home for short periods of time, and i usually trust him to make good choices. so this is throwing me a bit. 


"Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this, too, was a gift." -- Mary Olivercoolshine.gif

umami_mommy is offline  
#2 of 5 Old 11-10-2010, 08:08 AM
 
TheJoyfulMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Southwest Florida
Posts: 368
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Has he visited a fire station and done the formal tour with the fire safety talk? 

 

He loves fire (I get that- I've always been fascinated with it as well) so talking about safety and taking him to a place where he will hear more about it from a more authoritative person isn't non-unschooling imo. 

 


Joyfully- Laura
radically unschooling 3 awesome kids
TheJoyfulMom is offline  
#3 of 5 Old 11-10-2010, 10:04 AM
 
moominmamma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: In the middle of nowhere, at the centre of everything.
Posts: 5,654
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 52 Post(s)

How clear have you been with him about the safety rules for using fire? We have a wood stove, gas lanterns, candles and incense and my kids have been building fires since age 4 or so. The rules, though, have always been very clear.

 

You must have adult supervision until you are deemed competent and reliable enough. (Typically for us this was around age 5-6.)

If adult supervision is no longer required, an adult must still be informed, until you are deemed competent and reliable enough. (Typically this was around age 7-8 for my not-impulsive "safe" kids.)

You must clear other combustibles from a 1-metre area. 

If outdoors you must have a source of water available. 

If indoors you must have the fire extinguisher in the room with you. Which you must, of course, know how to use.

 

Miranda


Mountain mama to three great kids and one great grown-up

moominmamma is online now  
#4 of 5 Old 11-10-2010, 10:35 AM
 
34me's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 2,473
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Many fire stations/departments have a deterrent program.  I would call and ask.  I know of a boy who went when he was 12ish.  And I get where you are coming from.  If you would like (and I can find them) I cam PM you some photos of our house after my then 10 yo made some choices that your son is making now.  We lost everything.  And no we never actually punished, yelled at, grounded him, etc.  He needed more love and understanding that day than the rest of us combined.

umami_mommy likes this.
34me is offline  
#5 of 5 Old 11-10-2010, 05:18 PM
 
sapphire_chan's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 27,769
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

My uncle was a firefighter for many many years. He said that in his experience, and from talking to all his firefighter co-workers, the kids who like to play with small, controlled fires, are NOT the ones who are fire starters.

 

If anything, they're safer since they've done so much experimenting with putting out little fires, and aren't as scared of fire, so if something does go wrong, they handle things before there's a real emergency.

 

ETA: Okay, posted when I thought you were talking about a kid who was more competent with fire. Bit of a difference between thinking he's in control and actually being in control.

 

My inclination would be to set up a fire pit, bucket of sand, bucket of water, extinguisher, and tell him to go to town with his experiments. But since he's tried to hide fire play from you, all the matches and such are going to be off limits and locked away because even adults can have problems if things get out of hand.

sapphire_chan is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off