time management and teens - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 2 Old 11-23-2010, 07:44 AM - Thread Starter
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I have a bit of a ball of wax......if you have any btdt, I would love to hear about them!


DS is 14.  He went to school part time from grade 3-6, but otherwise has been HSed.  he is sort of USed - we are one of those dreaded "we US for everything but math" sorts, lol.  Translation:  we are not hardcore USers. but we are closer to USers than anything else.


This year he is taking 2 cyber school classes.  They are well done classes - solid academics and little busy work.  They are semestered - meaning he is supposed to go online to class twice a week, plus hand in assignments.


He chose to do classes online - he could have chosen nothing, brick and mortar school, anything, really.....


He is having a hard time getting his assignments done on time.


There are many factors at play here - but it boils down to he is putting sleep, WoW, friends and drama before school classes he signed up for.


I do make him get up and do his work and his marks are fairly decent (despite him constantly being late) but I have to hound him to get things done.  I also tend to hover - a lot.  redface.gif  Perhaps because he has been mostly USed, he needs a fair bit of help interpreting what the teacher wants. I also know he has mediocre writing skills, which I suppose is partly my fault as I am the mom, so I do feel the need to help him learn this task through his course work.   



I am not sure how to move forward.  I bet lots of responders are going to say "just remove yourself from the equation - if he sinks, it is a learning experience, if he rises to the occasion, great!".  Probably not bad advice, but.....


1.  I do worry this will effect his marks.  This is a grade 9 student we are talking about - not a grade 4.  If he does poorly in grade 9 classes, they might try to stream him into applied instead of academic, etc.  Not the end of the world, but not what universities are looking for, or good prep for the SAT.


2.  I feel partly responsible for this mess. I would like to slowly disengage from being the timekeeper/crutch, which I think is fairer.


I am also unsure how to advice him to proceed for next term.....consider taking less classes, consider a virtual school with open enrolment (which could work or be a disaster - there would not be deadlines and such - just a simple: get these units done in 10 months and you are good to go).  


Ok.  Anybody have teens with time management issues and how have you helped them become independant and effective time managers???


I would like to conclude by saying DS is a good kid - kind, funny, engaged in his interests (film, religion, drama).  He is just not engaged in the classes he chose.  He is not interested in *not* doing cyber classes - as he worries what colleges and universities will think if he does not have some official classes under his belt.  They do not have classes in things he is interested in through credit granting Ontario cyber schools.  Brick and mortar is not an option either - he is not overly interested in brick and mortar schools, and the local high school does not accept part time students, anyways. 






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#2 of 2 Old 11-23-2010, 11:18 AM
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I think I would ask him, up front, in a frank, honest and friendly discussion, exactly what support he would like from you. Play the role he asks you to play for a week. Hold another discussion to re-evaluate how it's working. Repeat weekly.



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