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#31 of 46 Old 12-31-2012, 10:50 AM
 
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fortunately, i've not had to deal with too many naysayers. when my kids were little and not school age yet, i didn't reference homeschooling. it was just parenting to me.  when they were of school age, i just stated we were homeschooling.  i don't think anyone that knows me was shocked by our decision. i'm sure people asked questions, but i don't remember it being any kind of big discussion or anything.  the decision was made & i was just informing them.  

 

the main statement i hear most over the years is, "oh! i could NEVER do that!". i just reply, "you never have too". the other main comment i hear comes from my kid's friends. they will ask sometimes, "when will they go to real school?". i just say, "when they feel like it".  honestly, i deal more with their friends wishing they could homeschool too, lol.

 

my kids are 11 and almost 9 now. the socialization issue is never brought up anymore. my kids are very social and amazing kids. really, as time goes on, no one can even question whether or not homeschooling works for us. my kids choose to do it and always have. we love it. 


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#32 of 46 Old 12-31-2012, 11:43 AM
 
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oh! I totally forgot. A few of my family members agreed this year that "she's going to end up even weirder than you!"ROTFLMAO.gif

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#33 of 46 Old 12-31-2012, 05:44 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Whenever something goes wrong my family says, "It's because you homeschool!".
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#34 of 46 Old 12-31-2012, 07:07 PM
 
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I was a public school teacher. When people find out we are home schooling they generally ask, "Oh what did you used to do?" when I tell them "I was a high school teacher" they respond with, "Oh then you'll do ok."

 

Let me forking tell you high school did not prepare me for this preschool $h!t. This is hard. Oh man. I'm having a brutally hard time with these little kids. I'm just nice to them so that they will be nice to me when they get more towards my favorite age groups. It's calculated. (I'm kidding. Mostly.)

 

It always bothers people when I start ranting about how teaching taught me that I will never buy a curriculum and I will never buy into the established list of priorities and .... I uhhh get going.

 

I got angry about having to rework all of my PERFECTLY FREAKING GOOD LESSON PLANS to "align with the school spirit slogan". We had to find a way to work in the buzzwords every day. Even in contrived and annoying and superficial ways. Because that is the way to learn--right? Bah. Humbug.


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#35 of 46 Old 12-31-2012, 09:32 PM
 
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For me, I hate when people tell me how socially disadvantaged my kids will be because they didn't go to school.  Although deep inside of me, I really believe homeschooling/unschooling is the right choice for our family, the socialization issue always hits my vulnerable spot. A couple of weeks ago I had a conversation with a Principal where he basically said sure you can teach them at home but so much more learning happens in school than book studying and regardless of what you do, you will never be able to reproduce that at home.  And I felt... doubtful -- even though I KNEW I am providing my children enough social time.  Pretty much everyday I feel like I am providing my children a top of the line experience by allowing them to stay home and be free.  Once in a while though, someone says something about all the awkward homeschooled people they know and I fear.  I wish I didn't.  Maybe with experience I won't anymore and I look forward to that.

 

DD1 and I are very similar in some ways - shy, timid, very hesitant to put ourselves forward, etc. I went to public school and got all that great "socialization". DD1 has been homeschooled from the beginning. So, by the logic of many, I should be the socially competent one, and dd1 should be the socially awkward one. (This is especially true as dd1 was actually more timid, more shy, etc. as a little girl than I was.) That's not how it worked out at all. I'm horribly socially challenged, still afraid to open a closed door under almost any circumstances, freaked out by people I don't know, especially in groups. Actually, I'm terrified of groups of people I don't know, and I pretty much expect them to attack me in some way. Much of this is just the way I am, and the way I've always been...but the expectation of attack was a direct result of public school. I was bullied, gossiped about, and harassed to an extent that left me fearing people in a way I never had before. DD1 hasn't learned the lessons I learned. She may not automatically trust every single person out there, and she knows some of the kids on the playground are "jerks" and "idiots" (her terms - we've talked about the namecalling)...but she doesn't expect people to routinely treat her like crap, just because they can.

 

If dd1 ends up a bit "awkward" by other people's standards, I'm okay with that. She probably would have been as bad, if not worse, if she'd gone to school. She and I don't have the right temperament for that environment. She's doing a lot better than I was at her age

 

People focus on the "weird, awkward" homeschooling kid they know, and assume that's the way all homeschooled kids develop. That's not how it works. (I also have to note that I know three kids, in a small homeschooling group, who have some kind of sensory processing and/or autism spectrum based special needs. Those kids are very socially awkward...but a classroom wouldn't make it go away. IME, children on the spectrum are disproportionately common in the homeschooling community, because their parents are trying hard to find an environment that works for them, and school doesn't fit the bil. So, in may cases, "social awkwardness" is actually a cause of homeschooling, not a result of homeschooling.

 

I didn't mean to ramble, but that particular argument makes me nuts. School damaged me so badly - there are no words.


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#36 of 46 Old 12-31-2012, 09:46 PM
 
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DD1 and I are very similar in some ways - shy, timid, very hesitant to put ourselves forward, etc. I went to public school and got all that great "socialization". DD1 has been homeschooled from the beginning. So, by the logic of many, I should be the socially competent one, and dd1 should be the socially awkward one. (This is especially true as dd1 was actually more timid, more shy, etc. as a little girl than I was.) That's not how it worked out at all. I'm horribly socially challenged, still afraid to open a closed door under almost any circumstances, freaked out by people I don't know, especially in groups. Actually, I'm terrified of groups of people I don't know, and I pretty much expect them to attack me in some way. Much of this is just the way I am, and the way I've always been...but the expectation of attack was a direct result of public school. I was bullied, gossiped about, and harassed to an extent that left me fearing people in a way I never had before. DD1 hasn't learned the lessons I learned. She may not automatically trust every single person out there, and she knows some of the kids on the playground are "jerks" and "idiots" (her terms - we've talked about the namecalling)...but she doesn't expect people to routinely treat her like crap, just because they can.

 

If dd1 ends up a bit "awkward" by other people's standards, I'm okay with that. She probably would have been as bad, if not worse, if she'd gone to school. She and I don't have the right temperament for that environment. She's doing a lot better than I was at her age

 

People focus on the "weird, awkward" homeschooling kid they know, and assume that's the way all homeschooled kids develop. That's not how it works. (I also have to note that I know three kids, in a small homeschooling group, who have some kind of sensory processing and/or autism spectrum based special needs. Those kids are very socially awkward...but a classroom wouldn't make it go away. IME, children on the spectrum are disproportionately common in the homeschooling community, because their parents are trying hard to find an environment that works for them, and school doesn't fit the bil. So, in may cases, "social awkwardness" is actually a cause of homeschooling, not a result of homeschooling.

 

I didn't mean to ramble, but that particular argument makes me nuts. School damaged me so badly - there are no words.

Yeah! As I was growing up, I heard my family talking about how odd my hs'ed cousins were. I'd always attributed it to the very strict religious end of things (that was the reason given by the family for hsing), but it was kind of noticeable how atypical they were compared with the kids I knew. As I've learned more about unschooling my kid, and watched those cousins grow into adults, I think I get it. They looked weird because they were not socially conformed. They are great people, and they are interesting, and they can hang out with just about anyone and have fearless interests in everything under the sun. All those years I thought "thank goodness I'm not like them", and now I think "too bad I couldn't have had a childhood more like that!"

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#37 of 46 Old 01-06-2013, 06:42 PM
 
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I dislike when my husband or I are accused of "tiger parenting" or "hot housing" our daughter simply because she has several abilities that are considered above average. I recall one such incident at the grocery store that left me especially unsettled. My daughter was in the cart reading an ingredient label to me as we ventured down an aisle. She was pronouncing all of the words perfectly and a woman on the same aisle overheard and had the gall to come over and lecture me about the harm I was doing to my daughter.

 

My husband had an incident at a bookstore cafe table when a man randomly approached him and advised him in a taunting tone the Diary of a Wimpy Kid and American Girl books on the table were not ones a child of my daughter's age could read. The man then accused my husband of "tiger parenting" using that very term, which would be offensive enough as is but all the worse considering my husband is Korean-American and has no way of knowing if racism played a factor in the man's action and choice of words. 

 

There have been similar incidents but these are the two I personally found most disconcerting. It reminds me of a woman who approached me in a mall when my daughter was one to advise me a baby could not possibly drink using a straw while watching my daughter do that very thing. People can be very strange. 


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#38 of 46 Old 01-07-2013, 12:45 AM - Thread Starter
 
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People tend to get critical if they feel inferior.
Edited to add : I'm not trying to imply that anyone is superior or inferior. Just that when one child does something earlier than someone else's child, that someone else may *feel* inferior, through no fault of the parent(s) of the early achiever child.

I try to let that stuff go. It harder, though, when the people are relatives.

I find that most parents either push their children or hold them back. Letting the child proceed at his/her pace is best. That's one of the reasons we homeschool. If only I could get the relatives to understand.
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#39 of 46 Old 01-08-2013, 01:51 PM
 
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I get annoyed when people try to tell ME what it's like to be homeschooled....when they themselves have no idea or experience. I WAS homeschooled K through 12...I KNOW THIS STUFF! Anyway, it's obnoxious when they tell me what my life was like....honestly they have no clue.

I also get sick of people asking me what I'm doing with DD....she's 4! We aren't DOING anything.
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#40 of 46 Old 01-10-2013, 04:32 PM
 
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Mostly I'm pleasantly surprised about how interested and supportive people are when they find out we unschool... but the two questions I get most tired of answering are probably

"But what about socialization?" and "So how do you know if he's keeping up?" I know it isn't fair to be impatient because even though I've been asked those questions a hundred times, it's quite possibly the first time that particular person has had a chance to ask it... so if the person is actually interested, I try to give a thoughtful answer. 

 

I just blogged about the latter question, if anyone is interested: http://www.robinstevenson.com/wordpress/category/blog/homeschooling-blog/


Writing, reading, unschooling. 

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#41 of 46 Old 01-10-2013, 07:22 PM
 
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Mostly I'm pleasantly surprised about how interested and supportive people are when they find out we unschool... but the two questions I get most tired of answering are probably

"But what about socialization?" and "So how do you know if he's keeping up?" I know it isn't fair to be impatient because even though I've been asked those questions a hundred times, it's quite possibly the first time that particular person has had a chance to ask it... so if the person is actually interested, I try to give a thoughtful answer. 

 

I just blogged about the latter question, if anyone is interested: http://www.robinstevenson.com/wordpress/category/blog/homeschooling-blog/

And I read it with fascination! Very nicely put together--

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#42 of 46 Old 01-11-2013, 07:14 AM
 
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Mostly I'm pleasantly surprised about how interested and supportive people are when they find out we unschool... but the two questions I get most tired of answering are probably

"But what about socialization?" and "So how do you know if he's keeping up?" I know it isn't fair to be impatient because even though I've been asked those questions a hundred times, it's quite possibly the first time that particular person has had a chance to ask it... so if the person is actually interested, I try to give a thoughtful answer. 

 

I just blogged about the latter question, if anyone is interested: http://www.robinstevenson.com/wordpress/category/blog/homeschooling-blog/

 

 Nice :) You are far more diplomatic than me.


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#43 of 46 Old 01-11-2013, 02:22 PM
 
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And I read it with fascination! Very nicely put together--

Hey, thanks so much! I appreciate that. Of course, it is always so much easier to be articulate in writing than it is when you actually get asked these questions in person... at the grocery store... with a child tugging impatiently on your arm... 


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#44 of 46 Old 01-11-2013, 02:22 PM
 
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Writing, reading, unschooling. 

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#45 of 46 Old 01-11-2013, 02:24 PM
 
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Writing, reading, unschooling. 

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#46 of 46 Old 05-09-2013, 08:50 PM
 
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"Oh, you know, when we get around to it. Like, I'm teaching my child right now how to respond politely to rude questions. It's amazing what we can learn just by living our lives. Thanks for the ice cream! Have a great day!"

 

LOL

I know this is an old thread, but this made me laugh and laugh! lol.gif Just today, we were coming in the front gate (we live in a courtyard apartment building) and here's our conversation with the old Irish maintenance manager:

 

Us: "Hi Jim!"

Jim: "Hello there! You coming back from a field trip? A field trip for schooling? Because there's no time off from the learning, you know."

Me: "Yup. Grocery store. Math, Home Ec, Science. You know..."

 

2whistle.gif The three kids just stared and then converged on him, showing him all the flowers and small budding tree branches they picked up on the way home. lol.gif

Life is very good.


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