Struggling with my 7 year old - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 3 Old 09-29-2013, 10:45 PM - Thread Starter
 
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DS is 7 and we are un schooling, obviously. He went to kindergarten last year- a year late- and really loved it... but the school here is a little too open ( aka unsafe, IMO) for my comfort, and also I feel that public schooling is just not that great. So here we are.
My son is very stubborn and kind of a "know it all". He challenges me on every little thing. I'd really like for him to do some book work but he won't just listen to my instructions and do the work, he has to tell me that I'm doing it wrong or that it's stupid, etc.
I feel like he isn't getting enough stimulation or learning what he "should" learn at his age. He has no interest in learning to read. He is great at math and has an expansive vocabulary, but reading/writing/etc is just a huge struggle. I don't want him to be very far behind his peers.

I guess I'm still kind of stuck in the public school way of thinking. I just worry a lot. He doesn't like being homeschooled but I really feel like its what is best for us. I don't want to fail him, but I don't want to pressure him into trying to learn something he isn't ready, or willing to learn.
I'm so conflicted! Any advice??

Brittany-- SAH, Intactivist/Lactivist,Homeschooling,Natural Birthing Momma to Z(03) J(04) E(06) and G&B(09) and wanting a 2011 baby! innocent.gif
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#2 of 3 Old 10-01-2013, 05:30 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BrittBBT View Post

I guess I'm still kind of stuck in the public school way of thinking. I just worry a lot. 

 

It sounds like both of you could use some more down time from school.  

 

The way I approach unschooling is that I am giving my girls the space and time to explore on their own and see where that puts us.  Of course, I want them to read and write and add and all that, but I have backed off any expectation of what that needs to look like--what timeline, what order, what style, the depth or lack of, the intensity or lack of, etc. 

 

Some kids are hypersensitive to parental agenda, even ones that are barely expectations at all, or even seem like expectations.  Since your son has been to school, it's very possibly that this trait has been exacerbated.  

 

Some more time deschooling for both of you would not put him behind for any meaningful amount of time, most likely.  Start up some interesting pursuits of your own and take your mind off what he's doing for a while.  Model curiosity for its own sake, without an agenda ("hey!  Look at me and how I'm modeling good learning skills!")

 

I was just thinking about what someone said in another thread:  Unschooling is not what you do to your kids or for your kids; unschooling is what you *live alongside* your child.  You are both in it together, living together, and incidentally, learning together.


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#3 of 3 Old 10-06-2013, 03:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
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You make some very good points, thank you!
Quote:
Originally Posted by SweetSilver View Post

It sounds like both of you could use some more down time from school.  

The way I approach unschooling is that I am giving my girls the space and time to explore on their own and see where that puts us.  Of course, I want them to read and write and add and all that, but I have backed off any expectation of what that needs to look like--what timeline, what order, what style, the depth or lack of, the intensity or lack of, etc. 

Some kids are hypersensitive to parental agenda, even ones that are barely expectations at all, or even seem like expectations.  Since your son has been to school, it's very possibly that this trait has been exacerbated.  

Some more time deschooling for both of you would not put him behind for any meaningful amount of time, most likely.  Start up some interesting pursuits of your own and take your mind off what he's doing for a while.  Model curiosity for its own sake, without an agenda ("hey!  Look at me and how I'm modeling good learning skills!")

I was just thinking about what someone said in another thread:  Unschooling is not what you do to your kids or for your kids; unschooling is what you *live alongside* your child.  You are both in it together, living together, and incidentally, learning together.

Brittany-- SAH, Intactivist/Lactivist,Homeschooling,Natural Birthing Momma to Z(03) J(04) E(06) and G&B(09) and wanting a 2011 baby! innocent.gif
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