What Miranda said. My kids are still way young, so my ideas about this come from my nieces. I was so worried about them when they were between 9-12 years old. They seemed like complete and utter human messes, to be honest. They could read (at about 8-9 years old), but other than that, they had no daily routines, no chores, and (seemingly to me at the time) zero drive to do anything but watch TV and play on the computer. They were unkempt, often surly, fickle, picky, snarky, and generally unpleasant to be around, and I quietly put the blame on them being unschoolers.
Wow, was I wrong.
Turns out, they were super typical in many ways. Sure, not all kinds get to LIVE OUT those traits, and that's the difference with unschooled kids. They can be the creature that they actually are, at the developmentally appropriate time and place. Other kids have to reign it in and be the kid that they've been conditioned to be. Not to say that either way is better, but that there are various incarnations of the creature that is the tweenager.
Two of my nieces found their groove at 15 or so, and the youngest much earlier (at 13 she is far more like her typical peers, likely because her mom died and she is going to school now).
You'd never guess that any of them had a very, very awkward stage at which point several well-meaning adults (myself among them) worried very much for their future.
Nice to see you here again, annakiss!