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Socialization

1K views 6 replies 4 participants last post by  Annaintoronto 
#1 ·
Little has a check up tomorrow, and the last time I was at this dr. To discuss how he was doing, she said she wanted to see him at the next appointment, and she was worried about his socialization. I actually burst out laughing because I thought she was being ironic, or joking, but then I realized she was serious and told her that 'the S Word' is a big joke in homeschooling circles, and the only people really worried about it were people who didn't know anything about homeschooling.
Well tomorrow is that appointment and I'm a bit nervous and feeling defensive, because it's a craps shoot what he'll say when she asks him how it's going, because if he's having a good day homeschooling is great, if he is unsettled in anyway, homeschool sucks and I'm torturing him.
So, I don't think I am really looking for advice, just reassurance as to the powerlessness my Dr. (who is actually very young and nice) has on the big picture of my life and family,
maybe I can educate her? Or some encouragement.
Thanks everyone for being here reading this.
Anna
I doubt we'll even broche (sp) unschooling?...babysteps
 
#2 ·
Doctor schmoctor. Interaction and socialization are interchangeable. If little can understand social cues in a conversation, then your right on target. Besides, doc is going to give you her recommendation and you can go on raising your child the way you see fit. IMO. If that sounded rant-ish, sorry. There was a recent Ped disagreement.
 
#3 ·
Try not to let yourself get worked up about it. I don't know what the regs are in Canada but here a doctor has NO SAY in anything regarding how you school your kids. All they could do is make a recommendation to the parents, refer to a specialist if there is concern for a developmental delay or something, or call CPS is they suspect neglect or abuse. Is there any reason for her to be concerned about your LO's development? If not, then socialization and schooling is not even something she needs to be talking with you about. She's a medical doctor, that is not a medical issue.

My pediatrician thinks I should send my kids to public school. She also thinks I should fully vaccinate them and retract my sons foreskin regularly. She's wrong, so I ignore her about that. If they have an ear infection then I listen to her.

Trust yourself mama, you're making the choices that are right for your kids and your family.
 
#5 ·
I'm so glad I worried for now I can say it was all for not.
He was especially surly, but she took that in stride, plus the great news
We are eligible for in home speech therapy. So yay.
Feeling so lucky to have found MDC for support.
Thanks
Anna
 
#6 ·
That's great news! Both the fact that the doc stayed focused on issues that concerned you, and the speech therapy.

I have mixed feelings about these sorts of questions by doctors. Sure, sometimes they feel intrusive and judgemental, but then again, those questions are a sign that the doc is looking at the child holistically and that's a good thing. I mean, if a child who goes to school was having abdominal pain or learning struggles or tics or headaches, or was misbehaving, I'd want my family doctor to be the sort who would ask "How long is recess? Is it always outside? Is he getting enough physical exercise during the day?" And not just jump to ordering tests, or medication, or making a diagnosis of hyperactivity or anxiety. I'd want a doctor who would explore how the school environment might be ill-suited to the child and contributing to the issues. So I guess it's fair game to have the tables turned on one as a homeschooler.

But I also know that members of the medical profession are often stuck with unquestioned assumptions about the value of school. I went through medical school in the 1980s, and I remember very clearly being taught that school refusal is an anxiety disorder and that the one absolute rule about managing it is to make sure the child is never allowed to miss school. I remember how much pride and importance was placed on the Hospital School programs that were offered to in-patients at the pediatric hospital. Also medical schools select for admission a population that thrived and excelled within the structured schooling system. It's no wonder doctors are slow to question the normalcy and importance of a school-like experience.

You probably reacted perfectly when the topic was first broached. Disbelief, and calling her on being uninformed on the issue, and clearly being informed and cognizant yourself ... that was probably enough to put to rest whatever questions she had.

Miranda
 
#7 ·
Thanks Miranda
That is how I felt about it too, that it was a whole child issue, and in context, she had sent off to the developmental pediatrician and then left on maternity leave, so the first appointment was a catch up which I didn't bring him to. But that one stupid question was circling in my head and I could feel defensiveness building up. Also because he is (often, and especially in clinical situations) surly, if not defensive and nasty, which if you are following the don't let the school refuser miss school, line of thinking, would be he needs to be wayyyy more socialized, which I assure is not the answer.
He was referred for OT, and the therapist came to similar conclusions of his not being ready,( and his surliness).
So we go back in 6 months, no mention of social worries, and seemed happy with everyone's progress.
Thanks all
Anna
 
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