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September Unschooling

8K views 92 replies 8 participants last post by  transpecos 
#1 ·
Well, here we go....anything goes here:nerd:
 
#2 ·
How did I not notice it was September? Yikes!

Summary of the post I put in the August thread by a mistake:

Sent eldest off on a plane to grad school in Boston.
Moved 2nd child from one apartment to another with an open pickup truck in Vancouver's pouring rain.
Preparing to move 3rd child into university residence for her first year in a couple of days. Rain expected. Same truck.
Fiona has successfully spent three days on her own in Town, and navigated the weekly inter-community bus system to travel the two hours home on her own.
Fiona's dad remembered to pick her up at the bus stop when she returned.

A win-win-win-win-win, I guess.

Miranda
 
#3 ·
Miranda- is Fiona your only child still in 'high school'? the rest are off at college/grad schoool?

I am NOT looking forward to the day when kiddo moves away, I'm sure that day is coming faster than this mommy can handle.

Also Miranda- how long has Fiona been doing 'silks'. kiddo just started and LOVES it, even if the studio is a bit flakey with the schedule. ugh
 
#4 ·
SEPTEMBER!!!

Totally lurking this month. :lurk

As you know, we are starting school, and we are technically not unschooling. Today started out miserable, and my oldest was so defiant. I did push, and I lost my cool once or twice she was being so mean. I did concede to pick her up after school, to help relieve some of the anxiety of having PE last period right before she would catch the bus (she falls apart when she thinks we're late).

This afternoon, she owns it. She had such a better day, and she's spent the entire afternoon doing what she needs to do, and she's so excited about choir. She'll get 100 points for a solo, and she wants to perform Begin the Beguine, an admiral if naive choice for a beginner. I'm seeing my unschooler start to shine again. I always knew she would be in her element in school. It's her younger sister I am surprised about. She woke up today and was ready to go in plenty of time. She loves it. She who resists any routine is embracing it.

Frankly, I'm relieved. I am giving the girls the option at winter break to homeschool again, but I am secretly wishing they don't so I can do my own school *on my own*. I was worried this morning that my relief was doomed. But when I picked her up today, she was all smiles and excitement. Both girls know many kids from Girl Scouts and 4-H and so far their teachers are understanding and supportive. No one has bothered me about parity or anything. Totally seamless. I am thrilled. I think this is going to stick. They both had to be 95% on board with it though for it to work.

I'm mourning some of the languid freedom of unschooling, but with my school, life was going towards regimentation anyway, and they are excited about the fact that we have other routines. Routines I have fought for on and off for years and years are falling into place. I'm not sure why it's working now, but I am pleased regardless. My oldest was having a hard time with her idea that learning wouldn't be meaningful for her, and I am sad for that, but today she found a lot to be interested in. So she's learning that just because she didn't discover it for herself, she can find meaning in it, if only because it makes her curious.

I've heard some negative things about this school district, but I am nothing except impressed so far. After a miserable day yesterday, I made sure to email dd1's teachers, letting them knwo that we've never prioritized staying level with peers because we never anticipated attending school, and that it is not only her first day of middle school and all the pressures that entails, but it's her first day ever and she's high anxiety. I told them that I wasn't concerned with grades or even skills this year so much as having a good experience, and learning that school can be a resource with many supportive adults. I'm happy to be seeing success. I'm sure tomorrow morning will ruin more smoothly.

So that's the sum of unschoolers off to school with zero preparation, 4th and 6th grade. They have had experience in both Girl Scouts and 4-H, so both of those help immensely, I think. I'll keep everyone updated occasionally on how we are managing to keep true to the unschooling, child-led mentality in a school environment. After, of course, I bulldozed my older daughter out the door and onto the bus. Sometimes you have to do what you have to do. I know every regular on this thread understands, but apologies to the radical unschoolers lurking. Tough shit. Sometimes you have to shove them out the door. I know my kids better than anyone, and so far I am reaping the rewards. 4 hours later, she is still talking about school. You have to know your kids, and know yourself. I needed this, desperately.
 
#6 ·
Tough shit. Sometimes you have to shove them out the door. I know my kids better than anyone, and so far I am reaping the rewards. 4 hours later, she is still talking about school. You have to know your kids, and know yourself.
:thumb

So awesome!

My ds is the same: sometimes he needs a push. These days he allows friends and mentors to push him, and he's self-aware enough to communicate his need for a push. But when he was younger I sometimes had to play the heavy in order to help him get past whatever he had going on emotionally that was getting in the way of what he wanted.

miranda
 
#5 ·
Yay, so glad to hear about your eldest's great day, SweetSilver! Was thinking about her all day, hoping.

Yes, zebra15, my older three are 17, 19 and 22 and have all moved away for post-secondary studies. Fiona's now the only one at home. She'll be 14 early next year.

She's been doing silks for about 8 months. She started with a weekly homeschoolers' Intro to Circus Skills class in January where they did some aerial silks, some acro-yoga and some aerial hoop. She liked silks the most, so in March she switched to a weekly class focusing just on that. She took June off, then did five summer classes. She really likes it and wants to continue this year. Her coach wants her to do 3 hours a week. I've suggested she stick with 90 minutes at least for the first two months, unless she has a spare block at school this semester. She's okay with that.

Miranda
 
#7 ·
So here's my stuff from the August thread:

September 1:

Yesterday youngest mentioned that I can hold off on the Vitamix; she'd like a (slightly) cheaper "masticating juicer"! (I had told her that I could provide one when I get the funds. Not yet.)

Then she casually mentioned that she has enough saved for a payment on a house lot. I asked about sewer and electrical & water connections, and she told me that she's been talking to her homeschooled friend's dad (of the kid who was almost killed when the truck went through the wall of the bedroom of their active solar house; weird freak accident that you would never in a million years have thought even POSSIBLE...there is now a sturdy wall around the perimeter of the part of the property that has the house), and he says you don't have to have a sewer hookup if you have a composting toilet and a graywater system. Tentative plan is to catch rainwater. If she gets a lot slightly out of city limits, she won't have to comply with city zoning; the lot she wanted in a good place in town sold in three days, but it wasn't (as we say) "horseable".

So, continuing to do the maturity thing backward in our family. 18.

today:

So what it is like for an empty nest unschooling mom today:

1) I am thinking about washing one of the big dogs, but not very seriously.
2) I found out that one of the cats threw up something nasty in one of the vents on top of the panty (part of our house has a tall ceiling, but some of the rooms are enclosed with normal height ceilings), so I took both of those vents out and found that they had apparently been repurposed from some sort of cooking area and were COATED in old grease. So, washed, screwed one back in, and put the one that was stapled in on the top of the outside of the pantry ceiling; will deal with later. Or even replace.
3) found out that my dad's old work vehicle's battery is discharged again. Too bad, it's not that old, maybe 3 years? I'm trying to charge now. Have been waiting for son to fix, has not, so we are going to drive it conservatively until he either fixes it or it destroys itself, in which case we will park in and put an electric engine in it hopefully before we are too old to drive it.
4) Four loads of laundry drying outside, another in the machine.
5) A lot of dog fur dust mopped up, more left.
6) Time to hang up MIL's paintings, so they won't be in boxes on the floor of our bedroom.
7) that sorta thing

Deborah

later: Linux came in; I picked her up; she was damp! I ran outside and gathered the four loads before they got too wet; it had been sprinkling a short time. Those and the load still in the washer are now festooned on the drying rack, on doors, on bookcases (they have metal legs that stick out of the metal shelves an inch at the top; I set them up that way so I can hang stuff on them when needed, even the handle of the upright vacuum cleaner is supporting my baggy shorts. After a heavy rain, the sun came out, and I went to the Post Office & also stopped by the humane society. I was looking for more work pants, but found a book instead. Now the sun is still out but the sky is grumbling again; guessing we'll wake up tomorrow (as today) with the valleys full of fog.
 
#8 ·
Rounding up as many of the school families as I can for a 3 day backpacking trip, which, since some moms have to work, might start out with just me + a herd of kids on the trail to start out, and adults catching up later. Just came back from 4 days of trail building (without kids) Tuesday evening, so it's kind of crazy, but I'm not one to say no to backpacking.

Sweetsilver, was it you who suggested learning to read with chemistry words? My son is so excited about that idea. He's been drawing little molecule flashcards for hours, and getting me to write the word and a sentence about each on the other side for him to read. Why not get started on that journey with words like trimethylaluminium?
 
#9 ·
Sweetsilver, was it you who suggested learning to read with chemistry words? My son is so excited about that idea. He's been drawing little molecule flashcards for hours, and getting me to write the word and a sentence about each on the other side for him to read. Why not get started on that journey with words like trimethylaluminium?
It was indeed! I'm glad it's a hit. I know! Why not? :joy
 
#10 ·
The great thing about chemical names is how readily they break down into distinct syllables and roots, and how the patterns that can then be seen follow phonetic rules. You can work from an element, say, chlorine, and then change the suffix to change its chemical role:

chlor-ine (the element)
chlor-ide (the simple salt)
chlor-ic (as in chloric acid)
chlor-ate (salt of chloric acid)
chlor-o- (organic molecule containing Cl- in place of an H-)
chlor-ite (in mineral form)

and then add prefixes and other suffixes

tetra-chlor-o-ethyl-ene

with each additional prefix or suffix having chemical meaning (four chlorine atoms taking the place of hydrogen atoms on a two-carbon chain with a double bond)

It's a really delightfully structure-driven use of language. Wouldn't it be awesomely cool if this became the key that unlocked the literacy puzzle for him!

Miranda
 
#11 ·
Today my baby turned 16. We celebrated the entire long weekend. Last night was dinner out at 'outback' and boy did he splurge. Throwing caution to the wind, he gorged himself on GLUTEN galore. Bloomin' Onion, Salad, Shrimp and Chicken and dessert.

Around noon today, kiddo opened a pile of presents: new t-shirts, video games, movies and yes an old fashioned puzzle.

Tomorrow we are going to Red Robin with a certificate for a b'day meal.

Where on earth did the time go? I still remember those first days and that first week when he was in the NICU and I was in ICU. Those first few months with this tiny human I was trusted with- all by myself. My 'baby' will always be my 'baby' here we are 16 years later.

Happy b'day kiddo.
 
#17 ·
Fiona got her schedule for her first semester at school today and she has .... <drumroll> ... No Classes!

:eyesroll Maybe her unschooling life will continue for a while yet?

She was supposed to end up with 7 courses split between two semesters. Instead she has 0 first semester and 2 second semester. She got no options, no maths, no sciences. Sigh. She made an appointment for tomorrow to address things. Maybe they'll work things out to her satisfaction. But sheesh ... all the contortions we went through getting her course selections submitted prior to the first deadline so she'd have the same shot at things as all the returning students, it kind of seems like they didn't honour that promise, doesn't it?

There were a lot of schedule problems evident amongst students at the orientation, but most people seemed to have six instead of seven or eight, not two.

Miranda
 
#18 ·
Oye Miranda- how frustrating, will you be going with Fiona to the meeting? How difficult can it be to put a student in an appropriate math and science class? I mean she is registered at the school?

However a week filled with dance, music and gym class can't be THAT horrible, can it?
 
#19 ·
Yes, she's been fully registered since mid-April.

Parents wouldn't attend a meeting like this; this is high school and students are expected to advocate for themselves. Fiona is good at that. If there's a silver lining at this point it's that she's proud of the success she had in interpreting her schedule, approaching various staff, confirming the issues and setting up the meeting -- and having them acknowledge that her situation needed to be given some priority over more typical schedule problems.

Choir audition is tomorrow. She's sick with a cold and her voice is fairly shot right now, but she feels a little better since yesterday. So she's hopeful it might be better by tomorrow.

Miranda
 
#20 ·
I hope all goes well for her tomorrow.

The reason I asked if you were going to the meeting tomorrow is even though kid is in college I still have to accompany him to all registration appointments. I know college works different than high school and there are more hoops and legal issues to jump through. Luckily we never had problems and the college has been wonderful- fingers crossed- so far.

I'm sure the choir audition will be great!

It sounds like Fiona has plenty to keep her busy, academics or not.
 
#21 ·
The reason I asked if you were going to the meeting tomorrow is even though kid is in college I still have to accompany him to all registration appointments. I know college works different than high school and there are more hoops and legal issues to jump through.
I'm pretty sure it's an American vs. Canadian thing more than a college vs. high school thing.

I have never once been involved in, or invited to, anything by any of my kids' Canadian universities. However when my eldest registered at a US school, the invitations and assumptions concerning personal involvement by parents started flowing my way: parent orientation events, the assumption that she would share her online transcript with me (?!), a parent network online, etc.

Miranda
 
#24 · (Edited)
I dunno...never heard of a dyslexia assessment being done by a kid with dyslexia! (The ones I know with a formal diagnosis usually do so early at the behest of a school.) As a lifelong unschooler with "amazing coping skills" (her words), Zela had to have a letter from a medical professional requesting accommodations for dyslexia, which was provided by a physician friend who's known her since age 7. So, because K could provide documentation, I had more money for tuition. Yes!

I guess if the kids were independently wealthy, they wouldn't have to have checks signed by parents & Pell grant documentation of parental finances, but it isn't back in the good old days when I went to UT for two bucks a credit hour...sigh...

Deborah
 
#25 · (Edited)
Now that we seem to be collecting people who are no longer unschoolers...our kids are aging out or going to school...I'll say what I'm doing today as NOT an unschooler!

Because writing about it is better than doing it!

I've just come of three harder than usual days at the vet (about six hours a day for three days; I wouldn't want the job as full time! Tomorrow I'm substitute teaching for the history/PE teacher, and Thursday is violin lessons, so because I stayed home, if I go to my very part time IT job, it will have to be Friday, because Saturday is a weekend again!

So, that brings us to why I'm still on the computer, instead of working cheerfully: it's that time again, Basic House Maintenance (I can probably handle) but also some jobs that I find unpleasant, like going to the gas station and nonchalantly trying to get my vehicle passed, when anyone can look under and see that the muffler is temporarily patched with a piece of aluminum muffler tape which is basically flapping in the wind. The problem is that it's not legal to drive without registration, and I can't get registration without inspection, and one of the joys of living in a small town is that you have to go elsewhere to get most car repairs done. (The gas station does have a repair shop, but I think much of their business is tire replacements/repairs and oil changes.) So, if I don't chicken out, that's my main job for today. If the thing will start; I recharged what is left of the battery!

On the unschooling front, two of my newest students are trilingual (Englilsh, Spanish, Korean) and their mom is a soft spoken but firm "tiger mom" type. It is interesting to me (a person who became more and more radical with the concept of child freedom, and tried to let my kids experience it) how eagerly these children approach their violin studies, in the context of what seems to be an extraordinary amount of parental control over the minutiae of their daily lives. I haven't seen enough to understand the dynamic, maybe will not be able to. But, interesting. I'm contrasting with another student, one of my parents homeschooling for religious reasons, head of a very structured homeschool, whose kids (particularly the one with dyslexia that I'm trying to learn how to teach): these moms have a lot in common. Is part of the difference the fact that tiger mom has delegated her kids' education (age 7 to Montessori, age 10 to public school), so she isn't also in the formal position of teacher? I wonder.

Deborah

p.s. Husband went off in car because his two bike rides this weekend...14 miles down the canyon, 14 back (with steep climb out) have left him a bit sore, and there's a 60% chance of rain and a flash flood watch, so he could get wet if he took the motorcycle. Something for me has been waiting at the PO since Saturday (behind the closed desk, or I'd have it) so he's picking that up for me. And it is either some new violin books or a violin. So.

Okay! To business! Start that vehicle! Oog...
 
#27 ·
I think I might have mentioned this before, but possibly because Zela herself requires accommodations, she is unusually sensitive to the needs of others, which resulted in many "difficult" students being placed on her floor...she did not understand was going on...but was finding the work overwhelming, everyone so needy: people with gender identification differences and self harm issues and depression and dysfunctional families etc...all on the same floor. Someone in housing admin noticed what was happening...said, no, everyone needs to be mixed up with everyone else, no special floor for people who find life more than ordinarily challenging...

Deborah
 
#28 ·
so here's what I get for procrastinating this morning: the gas station only does inspections 9-12. Yup, so the next possibility is Thursday. And that cuts it close, unless I shift some lessons around. (Husband can't do it, has instrument duty tomorrow, and I'm subbing. He might ride the school bus to work, ask if he can put his bike in the back, depending on the weather.)

Deborah

so...off to find something to make me feel like a Useful Engine.
 
#29 ·
Yay, she got offered a spot in the choir! The audition went well. She's very happy, and very relieved it's over.

School administration continues to be frustrating. I just deleted three long paragraphs after deciding not to dwell on it nor share the pain.

On a brighter note, Fiona is doing a really good job of "forging connections with staff" (as they were encouraged to do) despite not having any classes. She is reaching out, meeting faculty, getting herself invited to audit classes that aren't [yet?] on her schedule, getting people in her corner, so to speak. She was also tickled to have introduced herself to her next-semester history teacher who is the brother of Thomas Middleditch (of Silicon Valley fame, if you've ever seen the HBO series).

But yeah, the choir audition was the highlight of the day.

Miranda
 
#30 ·
Kid had his first attempt at the cafeteria on campus today. I dropped him off early today because I had an appointment and he neglected lunch at home. The child was unimpressed with both food selection and prices. $7 for a salad, and he was using OPM commonly referred to as 'Other Peoples Money'. Homeschooled and HomeFed child. Needless to say kid will be packing his snacks/meals from now on OPM or not.
 
#31 ·
Happy birthday to the birthday kids!

I hope Fiona works out her schedule soon. What is she supposed to be doing all day at school with no classes?


I am so happy my kids are getting older -- it makes so many more things possible for me. I just did something kind of crazy. Set out backpacking for the weekend with a friend that could only join us for a short bit, so I kidnapped her older kid and ended up doing the rest of the 18 mile off-trail, wilderness loop hike with 2 7yos and a 5yo by myself! On a route I'd never done, backtracking on a scrambly slope, weaving through a few brushy thickets, 4 days total, and we made it out with about 2 hours to spare for the other kid to catch his ferry. (No backout options on this hike, once we were in the middle). And though I had to coax them along a little more than I'd like due to the time constraints, it actually worked great. Not many fights, not much whining, and I got to do a trip I'd always wanted to myself.
 
#33 ·
I hope Fiona works out her schedule soon. What is she supposed to be doing all day at school with no classes?
So far she's been going in for Home Room (5 minutes), then rattling whatever chains she can in the course-timetable-troubleshooting system, and then coming home. Then she goes back later in the day to unofficially audit Honours Physics, one of the courses she's hoping to get into, the teacher of which is kind and as appalled by Fiona's situation as she is.

It is quite amazing that a school can be full of kind, caring, talented people and yet still end up a victim of its own institutional nature.

Miranda
 
#32 · (Edited)
Yesterday I did wind up being a Useful Engine (like THomas): I took a box of paintings our of our bedroom, hung up a bunch of MIL's on walls...but I have misplaced a bunch of hangers, so I put the otehrs in the den. A lot of them are kid acrylics that I won't be hanging up anyway, for lack of room. I think some of my faves can be rotated with others.

And I'm taking a brief break from teaching (that is, keeping some sort of order while the PE teacher's kids do worksheets. I would have been HAPPY to take the two PE classes outside, but they are going to be doing word puzzles and stuff.

One of the kids told me I should teach high school there next year. I pointed out that I won't even be asked to sub if they insist on such a high noise level. Some pencil throwing was going on in the 10th grade history class, one kid screamed a nasty name at one of the pencil throwers, so I took my book about learning math to the front of the room, sat on a stool, and smiled sweetly at the class. They soon got very quiet, for the rest of the period. I could learn to enjoy that... ;)

12 minutes, and it's back to school. Better pet Linux, who has somehow got in...

Deborah

well, back. It's a definite plus that I can be home a few minutes after four! (I hate getting up in the morning before the sun, which is what we are back to, wonder if I will ever get used to it.) The last two afternoon classes are usually PE, but we had a word search for the 6-8 graders and a hard crossword for the 9-10. The first class was mostly chattering and goofing off until I started putting up the word search (it was huge) on the board, starting from the bottom. Soon I had helpers, boys who wanted to write the letters, to read them to me when I wrote them, then classmates who started circling the words. (They were most amused that "meow" showed up in amongst things like "axe", "arizona", and "greatamericandesert".) It was still being written on the board when the bell rang (by tall boys, who became interested in the process when I pointed out that I needed someone tall for the top of the board), and the next class seemed totally disinclined to do their crossword, so after a few minutes I sat down at a student desk that somehow got at the front of the room (facing the others) and started saying, "What's this, what's this?" and after a while we had people looking up words on the internet (crossword hint sites), etc., and we got most of it done by the end of class. (These kinds of things work a lot better for me than the horrid "directed independent study" worksheets, which I cannot abide...and neither can they. I'd be surprised if there's any retention on those.

The bad news is the Apache has announced a 3 billion barrel petroleum find. 23 miles away as the crow flies. We are, to put it very mildly, screwed. (Given that 110 dry holes have been drilled in the area, and rich fields aren't usually like that, I'm guessing that the richness of the field is being overstated to squelch local opposition, with the abomination of the pipeline that is starting to go in now, over a LOT of continuing opposition, still tied up in court, but the company can basically do what it likes during that time, Texas laws allow seizure of land with little recourse, if it's oil related. Like the DAP, the TPP is slated to go through an area rich in archeological value. Grr.
 
#35 ·
One of the good, kind, caring people surfaced. Looks like it's all going to work out. Flurry of emails all evening ... this teacher is putting in long hours of work at home to deal with the scheduling mess.

The school hit the front page of the CBC (our national broadcasting company here in Canada) news site today for their waitlist issues: http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/nelson-waitlist-lv-rogers-1.3751488

That probably serves as an explanation of why just notifying staff of her problematic timetable wasn't enough to get it quickly fixed: the school is dealing with major problems accepting and placing students. Fiona was not the only one, not by a long shot.

Miranda
 
#36 ·
It sounds like that school NEEDS to get its act together. If they registered in April we are not talking about weeks or days we are talking about months.

We are moving to a new place. So my whole life is in two locations and it is making us all crazy. On Sat we will be in the new place for about a year. Then we will most likely be moving again. :frown: Not what I want but it looks that way.
 
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