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9 y.o. unschooling and MUCH difficulty reading--Please help

2K views 10 replies 7 participants last post by  Lillian J 
#1 ·
Hi, I have a 9 y.o. who has a real difficulty reading. She has had the basics for years now but it's just not coming together for her. I've never pushed her, she's very bristly about me teaching her, and very independent, and very easily frustrated by the effort of reading.

She will sometimes voluntarily and privately spend time with a book that's like 2nd grade or 3rd grade level, but she says she doesn't really understand much of it, I suspect because it's so laborious for her.

She had her evaluation today and the evaluator, a homeschooling friend who respects our unschooling, said she thinks this is a reading disability, that it's something in the wiring of her brain, not a lack of effort on her part or mine.

She is encouraging me to sit down with dd and do phonics, sight words, get computer programs (which would be very difficult to buy for me, we have serious money troubles), help her get more practice so she can gain confidence.

Heretofore dd has been averse to my direct efforts (which have not been significant in time), and it has not helped our relationship, or even her reading. I had felt that my best role was to stay out of her way and let her do it her way, take her time. But now I'm realizing that although that may be perfect for most kids, it may be necessary for me to intervene somewhat.
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Last year after her evaluation, I talked to her about what her goals might be for the next year, hoping that would provide a little crack in the door for me to edge in with some "support". But she didn't really want to talk about it.


She's always been effortless in math, she's behind on written computation because she always does things in her head and doesn't sit down with workbooks. She's also always been very very into language arts, dictating long novels, making and illustrating books, she has a large vocabulary, etc. So it's not just that she's more mathy than reading-y. By temperament she's a natural for both, but the decoding itself seems to be a block for her. she has an incredible memory, and some have suggested this is her compensation for not being able to reference things in writing.

Anyway, curious if there are any unschoolers out there with experience with serious lags like this and/or learning disabilities.

Just trying to figure out what to do here.


THANK YOU!
 
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#2 ·
hey momma. It sounds like there are a lot of things going on in your life right now.


I went to a Charlotte Mason seminar and Carole Joy said that she had a client whose 12 y/o wasn't reading. They respected the young one and knew he would read on his own time. After much hand wringing and prayer (for the parents to trust) the boy picked up a book and started reading. I don't remember the name of the book but it was a big fat thick college level book.

I don't know if your situation is similar. I don't recall the boy being evaluated and diagnosed with a reading disability. The only thing I can suggest is to continue to support and respect her.
 
#3 ·
You might take a look at these two articles related to what I experienced with my son - maybe something will ring a bell. We found out by trial and error what was missing and it turned out to be visions skills:

Dyslexia - A Gift?

Taking a Look at Vision Skills

As for computer programs there's a whole lot of great free stuff online - look through these links:
Learning, Teaching, & Online Tools

Best of luck! Lillian
 
#4 ·
Was she actually tested for a learning disability or is this evaluators opinion solely based on expectations of where she "should" be? My dd was very much like yours as far as being independent and not liking to be "taught". She didn't really read well until 8. She spent a long time knowing the basics but not quite getting to full comprehension. Then one day it just clicked in her head. From that point she could quite well and is currently an avid reader and 17.
 
#5 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Arduinna View Post
Was she actually tested for a learning disability or is this evaluators opinion solely based on expectations of where she "should" be? My dd was very much like yours as far as being independent and not liking to be "taught". She didn't really read well until 8. She spent a long time knowing the basics but not quite getting to full comprehension. Then one day it just clicked in her head. From that point she could quite well and is currently an avid reader and 17.
I might add that the same thing happened for the daughter of a friend of mine - same age - and she had always attended school. Incidentally, she had been read to VORACIOUSLY by her mom from the time she was a toddler.

Lillian
 
#6 ·
I'm a reading specialist, just for the record.

I would try to get her evaluated by a developmental optometrist. You want them to look at vision skills,not just acuity. Things like eye tracking, teaming, binocular vision, etc.

How are her phonemic awareness skills? If you give her a word, can she come up with three words that rhyme with it? If you say a word like "plate" can she segment it into its component sounds? Like /p/ /l/ /ay/ /t/. Does she have any speech problems? If she can't do those two things, I would get the first level of Barton reading program to work on phonemic awareness. www.bartonreading.com Until she can do those things, she won't be able to learn to read. Or if she has a really hard time with that, I would look into the Lindamood Bell Lips program with a speech therapist.

There are some computer programs that are quite good. I really recommend Sound Reading Solutions primary reading cd. http://www.soundreading.com/srs_new/index.cfm

Headsprout might be a good option if she responds well to computer instruction, as well. Read Write Type is another excellent program that works on decoding skills as well as teaching typing.

What I would do in your case, after having her vision tested, is to get the reading program from ABeCeDarian. They have a good, solid program. www.abcdrp.com I would supplement with Sound Reading Solutions cdrom and Read Write Type. I would have her practice reading connected text and working on fluency by having her read the Reading for All Learners Program Little Books. www.iseesam.com If you do that for six months and she doesn't make good progress, you might need to look into an Orton Gillingham based program like Barton. But I'd try the ABeCeDarian first. It's a lot faster, easier, and cheaper. Also, I'd spend ten minutes a day working with her from Dancing Bears (from Sound Foundations) just to make sure you are covering all the bases.

I would continue to read aloud to her. A lot. Fairy tales, fables, myths, poetry, nonfiction, novels, etc. Lots. I would start having her narrate fables (tell them back to you). Once she is proficient with fables, you can move onto having her tell you longer stories that you have read or told her. Try to get her to memorize poems.

Once she is decoding easily and reading pretty fluently and can retell a fable, I would use IdeaChain to help with comprehension skills.

I would use Handwriting Without Tears for handwriting and All About Spelling for spelling. The spelling especially will reinforce her reading skills. Only the lower levels of All About Spelling are out though, so if she progresses past what they have, I would use either How to Teach Spelling from ETS, Apples and Pears, or Sequential Spelling. There are pluses and minuses to each approach. But I think All About Spelling is the best place to start.

Finally, I would work on making sure she doesn't have any underlying sensory issues, maybe by having her evaluated from an OT. I would consider using Balametrics (balance training can help with reading) and even perhaps Cognitive Calisthenics from Dr. Stephey. I would also try to get her involved in martial arts and/ or swimming and/ or horseback riding. Lots and lots of physical activity, but those three things in particular are very good for helping develop sensory skills and both sides of the brain talking to one another. Hope this helps.

Oh, if you are looking for math, think about Math U See or Shiller or Right Start, supplemented with Noble Knights of Knowledge. Good multisensory programs for dyslexics.
 
#7 ·
Not to discount the possibility of something else going on, but fwiw, my ds1 didn't read until he was 11. Started reading comics and then straight into Harry Potter. We did try to teach him, but it only resulted in frustration. He simply was not ready. We read out loud to him all the time. Learning from this experience, we left ds2 alone and he began reading at age 8. Ds3 is now 8 and is just beginning to decode a bit.

That said, perhaps you could rule out other issues, but if nothing is wrong I would not intervene unless she wants you to. I would read out loud to her, use books on tape and help her whenever she asks, but other than that, I do not think she "should" be reading by now.
 
#8 ·
I think it's helpful to rule out vision or other issues, I don't worry about 'late' readers, but it is helpful (if one is concerned) to rule out some things. I have a child who has classic dyslexia, and it was lovely to have someone help her develop some strategies to her get where she wanted to be. (reading).

There are many strategies available to help children read more fluently, even if there is 'nothing wrong'. Sometimes a few tidbits on decoding, done in an approrpiate, resectful way, can help children take off. Kind of like learning to knit on your own-- it can be done, but if you have an experienced knitter who is also a good mentor/teacher help you, you can often skip over typical mistakes and get to the sweater already. Each person doesn't have to reinvent the wheel, unless they want to, of course.

Helping kids get to 'the next place' doesn't have to mess with their self -esteem or natural timelines. So what I am saying is it's ok to wait and not worry, and it's also OK to get info that could help if you are concerened.
 
#9 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by UUMom View Post
Helping kids get to 'the next place' doesn't have to mess with their self -esteem or natural timelines. So what I am saying is it's ok to wait and not worry, and it's also OK to get info that could help if you are concerned.

And it doesn't need to be put across as a negative either. When we were investigating all the possibilities, and even doing some of the therapies with my son, I merely presented it as finding more elements for his bag of tricks. In other words, I led him to understand that there are lots of different ways people learn, and that some people have more of their skills in one path or another - so we were just providing him with all the ways we could find, so that learning would come easier to him as he went along. He was obviously a proficient learner - he knew that - but he was just getting more skills to make certain kinds of learning come easier. In fact, the dyslexia therapist made quite a big deal of pointing out the things dyslexics tend to be able to do better than non-dyslexics - so it was just a matter of rounding out the possibilities. As it turned out, we didn't end up feeling he was particularly dyslexic (whereas I found that I had some dyslexic tendencies); but it was that therapist who notice that his eyes weren't tracking smoothly across the page as he read - and she sent us to her own vision therapist. Bingo!

Lillian
 
#10 ·
Hi all, THANK YOU, I feel so richly supported with all of your stories, information, and advice. WOW! Thank you so much.

I can get the city schools to give her a test for reading disability. I am not sure how to go about getting her to a developmental optometrist, although I will ask her pediatrician and our health insurance. I will also check out those curricula. I may have to get really crafty with making up my own reading resources for her because I don't know how I could buy any.

One wrinkle is that I will be really going out on a limb financially to homeschool this coming year, and all bets are off for next year. She may have to enter 5th grade with this problem, and I think she would get some ESE help, but I am just imagining trying to do any subject in a 5th grade classroom without confidence in reading.
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I feel so encouraged by what you all have shared. THANKS!
 
#11 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Junonia View Post
I am not sure how to go about getting her to a developmental optometrist, although I will ask her pediatrician and our health insurance. I will also check out those curricula.

And keep in mind that if a vision skill problem should be found, it's something that can be addressed at any time in the future when it's financially feasible. Also, the improvements don't decline over time in the way that the benefits of "exercise" do - they're actual adjustments that stay put.
Lillian
 
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