Unschooling Support Jan 08 - Page 5 - Mothering Forums

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#121 of 332 Old 01-12-2008, 09:14 PM - Thread Starter
 
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yeah, I remember when I got my licence and not understanding why my folks were freaked out. but now I soooooooo get it.

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#122 of 332 Old 01-12-2008, 09:27 PM
 
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I just can't believe it's already happened when it seems like yesterday he was trying to ride a bike, ya know?
Yeah. I look at my 16yo all the time and think, "How did he get so big and so grown up?"

DS got into my cooking utensil drawer today and started pulling things out that he needed. I can't tell you what he was doing with them. A lot of running around the house yelling and karate chops. I think at one point the wooden spoon was a laser. He got a cowboy and a train conductor dress up outfit from my stepsis. He was very excited. He blew the train whistle a couple of times and then discovered he could make his voice sound like a train whistle. I'm hoping I'll be able to hear again by tomorrow...hehe

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#123 of 332 Old 01-12-2008, 09:32 PM - Thread Starter
 
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yeah, I wonder how my 4 yo got to be soo big.
but I also wonder how the heck *I* ended up being a grown up, married, with a child :

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#124 of 332 Old 01-12-2008, 10:46 PM
 
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And I have to respond to the meltdown thing--we go through the VERY same thing (DD wants me to help her pick clothes or something, but wants DS to stay out of the room , and she wants the door shut. Which is SO not OK with DS) I don't have solutions, just commiseration!
This is a pretty new thing for us. DS has always been a pretty easy going kid. We've had a big change recently with my oldest ds moving out so I wonder if he's reacting to that. I don't know what to do about it. I want to respect him and help him and work with him as much as possible but some of the things he wants I just can't do.

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#125 of 332 Old 01-12-2008, 11:50 PM
 
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Me again. I remembered something I wanted to mention about my stepsis. While she was here she said something to my 4yo about going to school next year. I told her he won't be going to school. She didn't really say anything but it annoyed me because I know I've told her before that I plan to homeschool. I don't know why she insists on always bringing up going to school to my ds. It seems like she's trying to undermine me and get ds to want to go to school.

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#126 of 332 Old 01-13-2008, 12:10 AM
 
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but I also wonder how the heck *I* ended up being a grown up, married, with a child :
And here I thought I was the only one who felt like that I brought that up with someone once who is a bit younger than me but with a 14yr and she looked at me like I was on glue

I just stumbled upon this thread and just taking the time to skim everything over. I'm a WAHM to 3 kidlets. This is our 4th year homeschooling and we've been unschoolers through it all. This year we look a bit more like traditional homeschoolers but I've just been following their lead and giving them a push when it seems like they are in need of one. My oldest is in Cubs and is doing a lot of learning this year just by working to earn badges. It's an amazing and well rounded program. DS#2 is hoping he can start working on badges this spring even though he doesn't start Cubs until the Fall. He wants to earn his gardening badge and is already planning the veggies he'll grow. Hmmm maybe we'll finally have a garden grow this year
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#127 of 332 Old 01-13-2008, 12:48 AM
 
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Over the holidays my dad got a kick out of telling me he never thought I'd end up like this, a mother of 3 kids so involved in their lives. He's a college professor and is, suprisingly, very supportive of me homeschooling.

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#128 of 332 Old 01-13-2008, 05:19 AM
 
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I told her he won't be going to school. She didn't really say anything but it annoyed me because I know I've told her before that I plan to homeschool. I don't know why she insists on always bringing up going to school to my ds. It seems like she's trying to undermine me and get ds to want to go to school.
Oh isn't that just maddening! : We've got some extended family who have pulled that move a few times over the years. Blech. It's eased up now that the kids are older. Ds would only have two years left in school if he attended anyway, so they just let it go I guess. Thinking "standing our ground" thoughts for you.

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#129 of 332 Old 01-13-2008, 03:39 PM
 
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Just had to jump in here today and say that Friday morning I happened to be up peeing and saw that the school bus stops at the neighbor's farm at
6:45AM!!!!!!!!! Holy crap! We're night owls here and the children sleep as long as they like in the morning. I can't imagine getting my six up at that hour...well actually, they'd have to be up even earlier than that....to get dressed, eat, feed animals, and get on the bus at that time. It's nuts!

As I went back to bed I looked at the sleeping faces of my babies and breathed a huge sign of contentment and relief that my unschooled beauties are living life and following their passions.

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#130 of 332 Old 01-13-2008, 03:58 PM
 
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Just had to jump in here today and say that Friday morning I happened to be up peeing and saw that the school bus stops at the neighbor's farm at
6:45AM!!!!!!!!! Holy crap! We're night owls here and the children sleep as long as they like in the morning. I can't imagine getting my six up at that hour...well actually, they'd have to be up even earlier than that....to get dressed, eat, feed animals, and get on the bus at that time. It's nuts!

As I went back to bed I looked at the sleeping faces of my babies and breathed a huge sign of contentment and relief that my unschooled beauties are living life and following their passions.
i know!!! i could never handle ds going to school, both me, dh and ds like to sleep till at least 9am
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#131 of 332 Old 01-13-2008, 04:31 PM
 
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Dude, at 6:45 I am flat unconcious lol. That's whack!

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#132 of 332 Old 01-13-2008, 04:36 PM
 
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yeah, im barely functioning at 9am if ds wakes up early or we have to do something early in the day.... let alone at 6.45am, i couldnt imagine getting up at 5.30am to get them up and dressed and breakfast etc.
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#133 of 332 Old 01-13-2008, 05:08 PM
 
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Ds would be up and awake and happy to have something to do at 6:45am. Though I don't think his teachers would appreciate it when he fell asleep at 9am or so Ds is currently getting up at around 4pm, napping half the evening, and he really only wakes up at 10pm or so.

I'm so ready for this little phase to be over, tho, I'm a night owl, but this is ridiculous, he's never awake when anything is open, or when his friends are awake, even he's not too happy with it at the moment.
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#134 of 332 Old 01-13-2008, 05:22 PM
 
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I often say that my favorite time of day is 7:30 am, when DS used to have to leave the house to catch the bus! These days, 7:30 normally finds me and DD in bed and DS watching TV. He's never been one to sleep in much but it's so nice not to have to rush him out the door. I always hated fighting with him in the morning and sending him off while we were angry at each other.

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#135 of 332 Old 01-13-2008, 05:23 PM
 
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When my ds went to middle school in Hawaii he would've had to get up at some insane hour like 5:30 to catch the bus to school (with a bus fee, no less!). The most ridiculous thing about it was that the kids spent something like an hour just riding the bus around while it picked up more kids. The school was only a 10 minute drive from our house so I drove him.

There's a school bus that stops right in front of my house now at about 6:45 am. Normally, I love to have my windows open but the noise from the bus wakes us all up way too early.

My dh told me that when he gets home he'll have to get up at something like 4 am every morning. He was talking about sleeping in one of the extra rooms so he won't disturb the rest of us. I don't like to get up before 8 am and 9 am is much better for me.

ali ~ I remember my older ds going through that sleeping phase that was totally out of sync with society. He was about the same age, 13-14. Parents and teachers complain about middle schoolers sleeping in class. I really think there must be some biological purpose to why their sleep patterns change like that. My older ds still tells me when he thinks he's going through a growth spurt because he'll want to sleep all day long. He always eventually switches back to a more "normal" sleeping pattern where he's up most of the day and asleep most of the night, although he does tend to stay up later and sleep later than what would be needed to go to school.

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#136 of 332 Old 01-13-2008, 05:28 PM
 
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Ds would be up and awake and happy to have something to do at 6:45am. Though I don't think his teachers would appreciate it when he fell asleep at 9am or so Ds is currently getting up at around 4pm, napping half the evening, and he really only wakes up at 10pm or so.

I'm so ready for this little phase to be over, tho, I'm a night owl, but this is ridiculous, he's never awake when anything is open, or when his friends are awake, even he's not too happy with it at the moment.
oy it's so hard to get your body out of that cycle once it's started. i just had to flip my dc's schedules back around because we were up late, sleeping late, eating late, and missing things we wanted to do.

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#137 of 332 Old 01-13-2008, 11:30 PM - Thread Starter
 
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LOL what is it about unschooling that draws the night owls in, I wonder??
me, I'm feeling grouchy for having been woken up at 8am this morning

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#138 of 332 Old 01-14-2008, 01:36 AM
 
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Yeah my "schedule" is wonky due to babysitting a young friend lastnight and getting way less sleep than normal. Also this farking cold thingy is not helping. I intend to sleep well tonight!

Ds is going through a sleep thing right now too it seems. He woke up at 1 pm today.

We had an interesting conversation about grades today. It seems Dd's online friend is in trouble because she got a 92 in history. A 92% is an A- and her parents are upset because it "could so easily be an A+". Wow. I struggle to say much more than that because I may go off on some really unmindful, unkind rant of sorts. In a nutshell, it's nuts. Dd told her that she can't empathize because she's never had that experience, but she can imagine that would be very frustrating. The hard thing? The parents attitude about grades gets to the kid. Dd's friend is so concerned about it. Like "What will I do if I get a C though?" Dd's answer "What does a C mean to you in this class? Why does it matter?" I told Dd that it's like that line actors use to focus ....
"What's my motivation?!"

In Dd's friend's case the motivation is that she'll get grounded. Greaaat.

/rant (temporarily no doubt )

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#139 of 332 Old 01-14-2008, 01:43 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I remember that feeling as a child. (the being terrified of getting "only" an A).
I did, once, in the 8th grade, get a C. just on a term report, not a final grade or anything. and though I did have an A+ or 2 on that report card, there were also a couple of As and even a B+.
I remember mum picking me up from school that day, and I cried miserably all the way home, begging her not to tell dad that I'd gotten a C. It was the worst report card I've ever gotten. and It made me feel like the world was ending.

and yes, mum did tell my dad, and he did "have words" with me about it.

I am SO glad i found out about unschooling

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#140 of 332 Old 01-14-2008, 01:47 AM
 
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That's just so so sad! I am so glad you found it too

I can't imagine laying that kind of pressure and burden and guilt on my child for something that only has value if we decide that it has value, ya know?! Ack. Poor kids. I want to hug them all and tell them "It's okay to get a C. Let's have some cookies and chat about things." I'm such a dork sometimes. LOL!

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#141 of 332 Old 01-14-2008, 03:30 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Poor kids. I want to hug them all and tell them "It's okay to get a C. Let's have some cookies and chat about things." I'm such a dork sometimes. LOL!
hey, everyone! Carol Brady's username is "unschoolnma"

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#142 of 332 Old 01-14-2008, 03:35 AM
 
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hey, everyone! Carol Brady's username is "unschoolnma"

:
LOL!! And she had such kicky fashion sense too!

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#143 of 332 Old 01-14-2008, 12:43 PM
 
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hey, everyone! Carol Brady's username is "unschoolnma"

:


I got myself in trouble recently for saying that Cs aren't bad grades and grades in general don't really matter. I made a joke about the president of the US being a C student and look where it got him. That really upset people and it was a joke.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with striving to do your best or wanting your children to do their best as long as it's for the right reason. I don't think most people really even know why grades are important. It seems to me that if we all sat down and really thought about all the reasons we think grades are important, status, future work, etc., we'd realize they aren't very good reasons and, a lot of times, aren't even true.

I'm going to attempt to go to the gym today for the first time since my 4yo was about 9 months. He didn't like it when I took him then so I stopped going. He likes the playroom at this new gym so it will all be up to my 7 month old. I'm hoping my 7 month old won't mind since his big brother will be with him and he seems to have a better temperament for this than my 4 year old did at that age. The people who work in the kid's room seem to be very caring and attentive. The lady who runs it has all kinds of activities planned so they aren't just sitting around bored out of their minds and they even have an outdoor, fenced playground. I've never seen that at a gym before. I went to an open house and got a free 30 day pass. Wish me luck.

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#144 of 332 Old 01-14-2008, 01:22 PM
 
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I came to the realization a couple days ago that if we were going to use the public school system fully (as most other families in our area do), it would be time to register my three year old for kindergarten. Like, now. Wow. I can hardly conceive of doing that. I am so glad that we're taking a different path!

Even if we weren't planning on homeschooling, I doubt we'd have opted to put our kids into Junior Kindergarten, as even before we were planning on HS, I felt that that was just too early. But really, I can't see myself wanting to enroll him a year from now either. I'm so, so glad that we discovered that it isn't necessary... not now, not a year or two from now, not ever!

I'm so happy to have discovered unschooling. To know that our family can continue to share our lives together daily, and that our children's childhoods can remain free. Now that I'm actually faced with the concept of what our family reality would otherwise be, knowing that we've avoided that fills me with a palpable, almost tearful, sense of relief.
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#145 of 332 Old 01-14-2008, 01:24 PM
 
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LOL!! And she had such kicky fashion sense too!
My favorite look was later, when she went to the long shag.
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#146 of 332 Old 01-14-2008, 11:34 PM
 
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My favorite look was later, when she went to the long shag.
Absolutely! So hip- that Carol.


So I almost burnt the house down today. I'd been casually standing in front of the gas stove in our living room (the kind that look like wood stoves but really aren't) holding a damp towel that I was drying a bit. The phone rang, and I set it down. Turns out I set it down ON the stove. Holy crapola it was so fast and smoky in the house we had to open everything up. The real gem? Our smoke alarm that so lovingly goes off when we cook anything DIDN'T go off. That's fantastic news, yes? LOL :

Ds just had me read an article about some video game. The writer was complaining about it's sexually explicit nature, etc. Ds is apparently familiar with the game somewhat and said the guy was exaggerating and even lying about the game. So we were talking about honest in journalism a bit... or the lack thereof.

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#147 of 332 Old 01-14-2008, 11:47 PM
 
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I'm so happy to have discovered unschooling. To know that our family can continue to share our lives together daily, and that our children's childhoods can remain free. Now that I'm actually faced with the concept of what our family reality would otherwise be, knowing that we've avoided that fills me with a palpable, almost tearful, sense of relief.
I hear you about keeping childhood "free"! And I get to be free of the competition of who will win the PTO/carpool/room helper mom of the year award. I get to choose who I will be as my children's mother, outside of the schoolparent sphere. And avoid being labeled as "that overprotective mother" when I get involved in my kids' education and actually talk to the teacher about what happens in the classroom. That is a huge relief to me!

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#148 of 332 Old 01-14-2008, 11:54 PM
 
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I always got good grades growing up - As and Bs. I knew doing *my* best was expected of me, and I also expected it of myself. I never felt like my only motivation to get good grades was to please my parents. I knew they would love me no matter what. I actually liked school. I liked learning (still do!) and I liked doing the work. I liked doing the best I could and that usually meant getting As.

I do think that all too often, way too much emphasis is put on grades. And all too often grades depend on how well one does on a test (usually multiple choice, true/false, or short answer). I know too many people (dh included!) who are not good test-takers, so while they have learned something, they'd get bad grades because the only measure of what they'd learned was a test! And guess what - once you're out of school: grades don't matter one bit.

No grades is yet another reason unschooling rocks.
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#149 of 332 Old 01-15-2008, 12:01 AM
 
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I get to choose who I will be as my children's mother, outside of the schoolparent sphere.
I so agree with this. I had so much trouble dealing with schools and teachers when my oldest ds was in school. I was always made to feel inadequate because I wouldn't agree to the punishment/reward programs the teachers wanted to dole out to try to get my ds to do his work.

Unschoolnma ~ I'm glad no one was hurt and the house didn't burn down. Are you going to talk to your landlord about the smoke detector? That's pretty scary.

We had fun today. We went to the gym and it went pretty well. My 7 month old was fine for about 45 minutes, which gave me enough time to do the stuff I needed to do at the gym. We'll see how it goes next time now that he knows I'll be leaving.

Tonight ds climbed into a toy bag and pretended it was a roller coaster car. He leaned and flopped and toppled all over the place. It was so cute. When his little brother started scooting toward him he yelled, "No! Roller coasters aren't safe for babies!"

Dad called tonight to wish him a happy birthday. He turned 4 yesterday.

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Originally Posted by MarineWife View Post
Unschoolnma ~ I'm glad no one was hurt and the house didn't burn down. Are you going to talk to your landlord about the smoke detector? That's pretty scary.
Totally going to talk to him. Interestingly enough he had been here earlier in the day to check on the repairs we just had done. Timing can be so funny! The house is finally free of smoke I think, and pretty soon I will bake some brownies to get a better scent going here. :

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We had fun today. We went to the gym and it went pretty well. My 7 month old was fine for about 45 minutes, which gave me enough time to do the stuff I needed to do at the gym. We'll see how it goes next time now that he knows I'll be leaving.
So glad you were able to get a work out in! I love working out but I've never done in at a gym before. I just do it in my garage or living room, etc. It sure would be nice to have all that equipment available though. I hope the wee one does okay next time. :

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Dad called tonight to wish him a happy birthday. He turned 4 yesterday.
Happy birthday to him! It goes so fast...

"The true measure of a man is how he treats a man who can do him absolutely no good."
peace.gif  Embrace the learning that is happening within the things that are actually happening!    
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