Is Unschooling Compatible with Punishment? - Page 5 - Mothering Forums

View Poll Results: Is unschooling compatible with punishment?
Yes, but only non-corporal punishments like taking-away-priveleges. 37 43.53%
No, not at all. 48 56.47%
Voters: 85. You may not vote on this poll

Reply
 
Thread Tools
#121 of 124 Old 05-31-2008, 09:30 PM - Thread Starter
 
mammal_mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Urban Midwestern USA
Posts: 6,420
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 23 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by SagMom View Post
Maybe this sounds nit-picky, but the word "always" jumped out at me here. I would say that we (my kids and I) are mutually respectful. I would say that I've modeled respect and consideration for them and they've picked that up and shown respect for me. OVERALL, that is our life. Have I ever "lost it" and said stupid things that were disrespectful and that I regretted? You betcha. And they've done likewise. We talk about it afterwards, we apologize, we move on and get back on track again. It's a mistake, but not a failure.
Thanks for sharing that! That just goes to show how sometimes we misinterpret things while we're in the thick of something.

Quote:
It IS a two-way street. We respect each other, and we forgive each other when we freak out occassionally.
Yes, forgiveness and second-chances (and third and fourth and so on) are an important part of our family-life as well.

Quote:
With little kids though, I think there are times when it's less about respect and more about self-control. I could tell my little ones things like, "I don't like being yelled at. Just ask me and I'll help you." but if they were in the middle of melt-down, that kind of discussion had to wait. Being tired, or hungry, or overstimulated could definately lead to a meltdown and lack of self-control. I wouldn't expect a child to politely explain their needs to me at that point and I wouldn't see their inability to do so as disrespect, but as a developmental stage. kwim?
I agree, and that's why I think it's so good (though sometimes difficult) to find a supportive community IRL. It just doesn't help to hear people nattering on about how "That child needs to learn some manners" or "I can tell who's the boss in that family," when you can see your child's at her wit's end and just needs a snack or some attention, right then.

Susan -- married WAHMomma to two lovely girls (born 2000 and 2005), who started out unschooling and have now embarked on the public school adventure.
mammal_mama is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#122 of 124 Old 06-01-2008, 06:15 PM
 
AngelBee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: New Brighton, MN
Posts: 19,261
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Ok...I prefer the word "accountability" instead of "punishment"

Mama to 10 so far:Mother of Joey (23), Dominick (15), Abigail (13), Angelo (10), Mylee (8), Delainey (6), Colton (4), ID girls Dahniella and Nicolette (2 in July), and Baby 10 coming sometime in July 2015.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
  If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!
AngelBee is offline  
#123 of 124 Old 06-01-2008, 06:38 PM
 
Lillian J's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 8,976
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by AngelBee View Post
Ok...I prefer the word "accountability" instead of "punishment"
Maybe this is all about semantics. We've established that some mean one thing by the word "discipline" and some mean something entirely different. Maybe some of us also think of the word "punishment" in different ways.

The dictionary definition I found on punishment defines it as: suffering, pain, or loss that serves as retribution; a penalty inflicted on an offender.

The dictionary definition I found defines accountability as: the quality or state of being accountable; especially: an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one's actions.

Using those definitions, I think you can be accountable till the cows come home without ever being punished . As I said earlier, I was never in my life punished except for having to take a class to keep a traffic ticket off my record, and having to do detention in high school because of accidentally going to the wrong assembly and missing a class - and my son was never punished. But we're both responsible people who have always held ourselves accountable for our behavior. - Lillian
Lillian J is offline  
#124 of 124 Old 06-01-2008, 08:05 PM - Thread Starter
 
mammal_mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Urban Midwestern USA
Posts: 6,420
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 23 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lillian J View Post


The dictionary definition I found defines accountability as: the quality or state of being accountable; especially: an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one's actions.

Using those definitions, I think you can be accountable till the cows come home without ever being punished . As I said earlier, I was never in my life punished except for having to take a class to keep a traffic ticket off my record, and having to do detention in high school because of accidentally going to the wrong assembly and missing a class - and my son was never punished. But we're both responsible people who have always held ourselves accountable for our behavior. - Lillian
Thank you for sharing that! That's how I see it, too -- but you've worded it way better than I could.

Susan -- married WAHMomma to two lovely girls (born 2000 and 2005), who started out unschooling and have now embarked on the public school adventure.
mammal_mama is offline  
Reply


User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Online Users: 8,016

22 members and 7,994 guests
cloa513 , dimmarkh01 , hillymum , IAmNehaRastogi , jcdfarmer , kathymuggle , lauren , lilmissgiggles , lisak1234 , MeanVeggie , Natalia Nieto , NaturallyKait , Pugtato-Chaihuahua , serrapepta04 , shantimama , shareref10 , Socks , Springshowers , stephalittle , Suzanne Kamper , transylvania_mom , worthy
Most users ever online was 449,755, 06-25-2014 at 01:21 PM.