Hi! I am so glad to find this forum. I was actually referred here by a poster here because I had some questions about vaccinations and I stumbled across the circ forum... it's so nice to find a forum of people who feel the same way I do (and there are a few people I recognize, too!). Anyway, my name is Emily and my husband Matt and I are expecting our first child (ultrasound says boy!) in January. It took a lot of convincing of my circumcised DH but we finally agreed not to circ before we were even trying to conceive.
The problem is that no one in our families or circle of friends supports us. My mother is the worst. She is... how can I put this, a circ nazi? lol, I don't know how else to describe her. I always had so much respect for my mother as a smart woman until I became pregnant. I cannot believe how ignorant she is about circumcision, and she doesn't want to hear a word against it. She admits there are no medical benefits but says she does not care... she is all for circ for cosmetic reasons. She says circ'd penises look bigger and better and all boys should be cut. She is a special ed teacher of young children. Most either need diaper changes or help using the potty, and get this.... she comes home and laughs about the intact ones. How their penises are "so small" they can't even hold them when they are urinating. How the parents are trash because they "couldn't afford to circumcise." She will tell this not only to me but anyone who will listen. She has also made comments about grandsons of her friends... again, how small their penises are because they are intact.
(As a side note my mother does not have any sons, so it can't be that she feels bad for circ'ing...)
I wonder if any of you ever had this problem... losing respect for someone after you learned of their circ view. I guess that sounds a little extreme, but I am so passionate in my feeling that infant circumcision is a horrible thing that I can't get past it.
My grandmother is also bad. Upon the news of my pregnancy - I was 8 weeks pregnant at the time - her first question was "Are you circumcising??" Whether she thinks they are better cosmetically or not I don't know, she thinks babies ought to be cut because it will "have to be done eventually anyway." My grandfather "had to be" circ'd in his adult life. I don't know the details but I know he was in the service. So, automatically now every man is going to need a circ because my grandfather did. Her motto: "You do it when they're babies, you don't have to worry about it again!"
My in-laws have yet to mention circ but I am expecting it. After all my mother-in-law circ'd her two sons (born in '73 and '79 - were circs without parental consent still being performed in those years?). I might get some support from my father-in-law, though. He is very much against doctors, medicine and surgery. I can't imagine how DH and his brother were ever circ'd with HIS consent... I doubt this man would go to the hospital if he accidentally chopped off an arm.
Sorry about the novel, but it feels great to get that out. I am hoping for some advice on dealing with these people. I know it's easy to say, screw them, who cares what they think? I do care, though, especially about my mother. I get the feeling that my son will never be good enough for her because of the state of his penis... and thinking about her telling her friends how small his penis is because he is not circ'd makes me want to throw up.
What, if anything, can I do? If I try to bring up medical facts to my mother - she waves me off and says "It's your baby, do what you want to do!" But I know how she really feels and I hate it.
I am also terrified to leave my son with her or anyone else in the family.. I can see my grandma as a retractor, definitely, and I can see my mom retracting in an effort to make him look circumcised.