Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: from the fire roads to the interstate
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I'm as anti-circ as anyone, but there's something about this type of post which disturbs me. (Not to invalidate your feelings at all, Megan - I can tell how upset you are!)
The thing is, you tried. You did what you could, and they circ'd anyway, for whatever reason. So now let's look at the situation. A child has been born. A child has been circ'd. What is the most important thing here? To my mind, what really matters is that a child has been born, a new life is in the world. Yes, your friends made the wrong decision concerning his penis, we'd all agree. But that does not invalidate the joy they (and their friends, you among them) are (or should be) feeling over the fact that they have a new baby.
I don't think it's in any way productive when visiting them for the first time to even mention circumcision. If they hadn't done it and were still debating it, then of course you should state your mind. But in this situation, where you gave them info and they still did it, what would be served by saying anything?
New parents need support and encouragement in those early days more than anything, as I think we all know. If you want to remain this woman's friend - and it sounds like she needs one, with a husband like that - the non-judgemental example you can set by your own mothering wrt other aspects of parenting may make a big difference and influence how she raises her son.