How to approach a future mother? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 8 Old 12-30-2003, 11:51 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I have a friend (though not a close friend) who is about 5 months along with a little boy. She lives about 2 hours away, we don't communicate except when we or she occasionally blow through the other's town every few months.

I don't know if she's even thought about circumcision and I'd like to approach her with some information. I'm just not sure how to go about talking with her when we rarely talk about anything to do with babies, anyway (I've literally only seen her once since she became pregnant).

If any has suggestions, they are most welcome.
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#2 of 8 Old 12-30-2003, 11:56 AM
 
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i would either buy her dr. fleiss's book or print out the mothering articles and give them to her as part of a baby gift -- like with a cute boy outfit or some diapers and bath items, non-controversial stuff in otherwords. and then write on the card how the information changed your stance on the issue and how it is important for moms and dads to know everything they can about anything that might happen to their baby.
the printed word, especially that of a doctor, has a lot more weight than websites for a lot of people.
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#3 of 8 Old 12-30-2003, 02:46 PM
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#4 of 8 Old 12-30-2003, 03:16 PM
 
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Well, I did exactly what Elphaba described once, and got flamed for it (here on MDC of all places!) I don't regret it, but do wish I had broached the subject verbally first before bombarding them with info. My BIL and SIL still circed dispite all the info, and it caused a rift btwn dh and his bro. I guess this post wasn't too helpful, but now whenever anyone I know finds out they are preggo I ask if they've thought about circumsision, usually they haven't and it prompts them to do some research.

Evergreen- Loving my girls Dylan dust.gifage8, Ava energy.gifage 4 and baby Georgia baby.gif (6/3/11).

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#5 of 8 Old 12-31-2003, 05:27 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by Gr8flmom
Well, I did exactly what Elphaba described once, and got flamed for it (here on MDC of all places!)
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#6 of 8 Old 12-31-2003, 02:11 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by Gr8flmom
Well, I did exactly what Elphaba described once, and got flamed for it (here on MDC of all places!)
I'll bet you $100 that the flamer had circ'd her own son. Even on this wonderful attachment-oriented board of ours, people sometimes still feel it necessary to justify their OWN choices.

I especially like the way the Fleiss article comes when you purchase it from Mothering--the cover has a baby stating, "Where's my foreskin?" To me, that is a very powerful image.

I sent that and a baby blanket to my cousin and his wife, who then left their son intact! I've had successes and failures in this area, but it is so important to keep trying.
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#7 of 8 Old 12-31-2003, 04:58 PM
 
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I ask if they've thought about circumcision . . .
Excellent suggestion for opening the lines of communication.
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#8 of 8 Old 12-31-2003, 05:08 PM
 
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I think that the kind of gentle approach being talked about here is a good start. Send one, possibly two things to read.. not a ton, ya know. I think if we are not careful we come off as high pressure salesmen and people freeze up.
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