What helped my dh to realize just how wrong circ is is it's sick history. He was shocked beyond believe when he learned that circumcision started in North America in the Puritan 1870s as a cure for masturbation. Masturbation was considered to be evil and sinful and was blamed for all sort of illnesses including blindness, paralysis and mental retardation http://www.noharmm.org/docswords.htm .
As late as the 1970's medical books were claiming that desensitizing the boy was good medicine as well as good morality. The idea of that, touted openly by medical scholarship with notable pride, was carefully tucked away when the sexual revolution permitted sexual pleasure.
Exactly. This was my original reason for deciding never to circ any boys I have. And that was in high school! Luckily DP doesn't care too much about it. He said he wants his boys to look like him and that he has no idea how to care for an intact penis (neither do I ... yet) but that he understands why I refuse to do it and agrees with me.
Another thing I like to say is "If you are going to circumcise your boys then you might as well circumcise your girls, too. Don't want to appear sexist, do you?"
There was a first generation of mutilated babies with intact dads...
Christine: Mama to DS 04/17/08 *Infant Stroke Survivor* Always remembering:
Took a 'break' from TTC and look what happened: !!!! for a healthy, full term baby to be born August 2012!! Hoping for a !
I've never been with an intact guy before but from what I've seen in pictures (of adult intact men) in comparason to my son I'd say there is just as huge a differance even if father and son are both intact
My husband never knew that his dad was intact either!
It came up with my MIL after our son was born and she learned that we were leaving him intact...
She said "that's just what they did" back when my dh was born and mentioned that his dad was intact...
When I told dh that his dad was uncut it completely floored him LOL!
Anyway my boyfriend is intact and doesn't know if his father is circumcised or not (they used to bathe together occasionally apparently, yet clearly he didn't notice, realise or remember). He thinks his father is circumcised (and it makes sense as it was routine in his father's generation) but clearly never had a problem with the difference. He's also very pro-intact.
But it is a totally bogus argument. I wear glasses, my new born son did not. I have a full beard, not to mention pubic hair, my son did not. I am 6 feet tall, my son was not even 2 feet tall. And I could go on and on...
And there was no issue at all. Geesh, it's like he looks up at his towering father with a full beard, hairy arms and legs, and wonders why his penis is covered? Not even on his radar screen.
And when the question came up, it was as simply as anything else. "How come your face is hairy?" "Well, because I am older and when men get older they get hair on their face." And he is off to the next subject.
It is such a non issue it really is not worth the time it took to type this.
Like someone mentioned already my sons' penises do not match even though they are both intact.
If you really think about this concept it just doesn't make sense. I have never met anyone who compares their genitals to that of their same sex parent.
Back when we were pregnant, DH and I had this conversation and the "looking like Daddy" issue came up. The look on his face after I asked him if he remembers comparing penises with his dad was priceless. He was like "eew, no!", and I was like "yeah, exactly!"
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After learning about the horrors of circ, neither one of us wanted that for our son. Also, since learning about restoring the foreskin, my dh has slowly been working on that (do a google search for foreskin restoration if you are interested).
So maybe my ds will end up looking like daddy anyway lol.
anyway, I have actually educated my husband, I gave him websites to read and my English midwife spoke to him. Now he has gone from being pro-circ to VERY VERY anti circ. He feels violated now that his mother made that choice for him, especially when he learned how many nerve endings he lost
He spreads the word now anyway, so yeah, after my educating him the issue of 'looking like Daddy' just became completely unimportant. They look different in many other ways anyway...and, I have yet to compare my vagina to my mothers
As an aside, I would much rather have explain why junior's penis is natural, than come up with a reason why we cut part of it off !!!!
Really the only slightly positive thing I can say about that hospital is that I wasn't really questioned alot about circ. But like I said that is is. I had 2 births there, adn the emotional trauma form the first........I digresss.
This "look like daddy" argument is so idiotic. I don't know if my father is or isn't (i assume he is, though) (i'm a girl...lol) I know that all my brothers are : BUT my sons are NOT. My nephews are. All my bf's family's kids are. What I want to know is WHY is this still allowed in our country? All I can guess is that America is scared to question authority. Plus a lot of men would have to acknowledge that their parents and doctors (mostly docs) made a mistake and they paid the ultimate price for it.
loss 2/28/03 ds 1/5/08 dd 2/8/10
When we know better, we do better. ~Maya Angelou
Also, you could always use the rationale, I have breasts, my daughters do not at birth, we did not give them implants to look like me (another cosmetic surgery). I say that in all seriousness. I think that comment makes people think about what cosmetic really means. HTH!
Glad you found us here and I hope you honor your future sons right to healthy, intact, genetalia. Everyone deserves that right. :