Comment yesterday at work-"Un-circ'd men are disgusting" - Mothering Forums

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Old 04-25-2009, 11:30 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Old 04-25-2009, 11:38 AM
 
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Originally Posted by tana'smama View Post
So I've posted here before and let me say I'm TOTALLY against circ-ing my unborn son. My DH is giving me a hard time about this and I he is using the "locker room" song and dance and how women will shun him.

So yesterday at work I was talking to a couple of my friends about the issue, one being a nurse, and they both said "get that baby circ'd". The nurse commenced to saying how men that aren't circ'd are disgusting and how they aren't as clean and can get cysts and blah blah blah. The other one chimed in to agree....

So I tried to make the point of how men made it thousands of years without circ-ing and seemed to be okay and I couldn't put my child through the pain and the nurse says they won't remember it...

Now I worried that maybe women will turn him away...life can be hard enough as it is.
I assure you this won't be a problem. There are several of us on this board who know this first hand. There may still be some shallow women today (there always will be) but that is something that is changing as the number of intact boys increases.

Ask the nurse what else are they allowed to do to a child if they'll never remember it?

ETA: or also asked does that mean all the men of <pick any other country> are disgusting.

ETAA: This by the way reminds me of an interesting observation I read and that is given their relative dimensions it's funny foreskin should be seen as a harbinger of putrification when women walk around with a far lusher petri-dish between their legs
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Old 04-25-2009, 11:47 AM
 
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You could also ask if she includes uncirc'd women on that disgusting category. It's all about personal hygiene.

I've heard it on here before - foreskin, besides all of its other wonderful physical attributes, is a great dumb women detector.

If a woman doesn't like my son because of his foreskin that is her problem, not his.
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Old 04-25-2009, 11:58 AM
 
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I'm intact, and I'm married. And my wife comes from a circumcising culture.

It won't be an issue. I assure you.
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Old 04-25-2009, 11:59 AM
 
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I briefly pondered this one after an episode of "Sex and the City."
And what I decided is that if some jerk sexual partner (either male or female!) doesn't like my son's penis the way it is, then clearly that was never the right partner for him anyway. Obviously, that wouldn't be an open-minded or creative person and frankly, I'm hoping for better for my son. :

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Old 04-25-2009, 12:00 PM
 
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Just because they are nurses, does not meen they are intelligent, objective, or educated enough to know anything about foreskins.

Just think about what they said. They are throwing fear up as an argument. They have no basis for this feeling they have. If they did, they would be quoting statistics about what percentage of the population is circ'd, how happy people that have foreskins are compared to circ'd people, how successful intact marriages and dating are for intact vs circ'd guys, etc.

They have none of that. They cannot deal with the idea of a foreskin, so they are fear mongering. It has been said that

"A foreskin makes a good shallow woman repellent"

and I suggest those two nurses are shallow women, or else have been brainwashed into the circ is good myths.

Total nonsense, and no justification for harming and infant. To morally and legally RIC, you need to have a justification that outweighs the negative consequences of RIC. R

IC takes away normal, valuable body parts. Parts that preform important functions in sex. It increase risk to the health of the baby. It causes unbearable pain and studies show they do not forget.

Against these negative consequences, they are holding up the idea that some woman may possible be so shallow as to shun him and he won't be able to recognize that and deal with it? That is it? Oh, and intact men have to clean themselves (gee, circ'd guys do not? How did I miss that growing up?) and finally some cyst is going to grow (totally unsupported by any research that I have seen) more commonly on an intact guy than a circ'd guy?

If that is the best they can do, they have not even come close to making a reasonable argument for RIC. Haven't even gotten out of the starting box....

Regards
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Old 04-25-2009, 12:01 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Jennifer3141 View Post
I briefly pondered this one after an episode of "Sex and the City."
And what I decided is that if some jerk sexual partner (either male or female!) doesn't like my son's penis the way it is, then clearly that was never the right partner for him anyway. Obviously, that wouldn't be an open-minded or creative person and frankly, I'm hoping for better for my son. :
Exactly, shallow women filter. Though really this has been of little consequence in my experience.
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Old 04-25-2009, 12:22 PM
 
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I'm a nurse, and yes, many nurses are very pro-circ. I have heard all the comments about how, "gross" or "dirty" un-circ'd men are and I don't really get it. I myself as a nurse have never really noticed a difference. AND my DH is uncirc'd (he was born in another country, although his mother wanted to circ him before they moved to the US thinking that it was the, "in style" thing to do, she had her jr high aged son circ'd before they moved here), and it has never been an issue. My DH's opinion about it is that it just a basic hygiene issue, circ'd or not, a lot of guys are just gross and don't clean themselves properly, so he feels that it has nothing to do with circ, just poor hygiene practicies. I have all boys, and none of them are circ'd. As a nurse, I have seen/heard of enough botched circs that I feel that it is generally dangerous to get a circ and I also think it is mean, esp to a baby who has no say in the matter. Why mess with the what you were born with?
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Old 04-25-2009, 12:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
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You know--I had never really thought of it that way---"a shallow women filter"

So true....Thanks for all of your replies. I just have to convince my hubby of this too. I may take the approach and put the ball in his court--tell him to do his research and come back with reasons why I should circ my baby.

My luck he will find a ton of stuff
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Old 04-25-2009, 12:45 PM
 
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My dh is intact, and that's one of the many reasons I married him! I think the sex is better. I have a thoery about the foreskin & G-spot being designed for each other.

Learning & growing & changing everyday!
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Old 04-25-2009, 01:00 PM
 
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You don't have to convince your husband. You just tell your husband that you refuse to do it. He may not like it, but that's ok, this is not about him.

You can and should take charge of this decision. It is not right for you to go against yourself and let your son be circed. I let that happen w/my first two sons and it is the biggest regret of my life. Don't do that to yourself.
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Old 04-25-2009, 01:17 PM
 
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Originally Posted by rockportmama View Post
My dh is intact, and that's one of the many reasons I married him! I think the sex is better. I have a thoery about the foreskin & G-spot being designed for each other.
A big :!!!

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Old 04-25-2009, 01:40 PM
 
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I did the Junior Year Abroad thing in France. I was kind of a homebody, but my (American) roommates and their (American) friends were _major_ party girls. They slept with a lot of European guys and didn't find them disgusting. Honestly, I think anyone who would say that intact is gross doesn't really have much, if any, experience with intact guys.
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Old 04-25-2009, 02:52 PM
 
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I imagine most old school medical proffessionals and the not to update college teachings 'set in the fear' of bad stuff under foreskin -hence smegma also known as cheese but what they don't realize us females have it our kids are born with same stuff smegma is made out of known as vernix . If nurses don't know that then they are not that educated.

Anyways, my son was born with a long wide tongue he had a habbit of sticking it out o his mouth up until he was 3 I think it was so big for his little mouth he had a hard time trying to find a comfortable place to put it so then he would stick it out.

It's a normal part to him and not a birth defect but he's the first one with a long wide tongue in our family my mom his grandma thought it was disgusting each time he would have his long tongue out of his mouth as much as she would think his booger eating was just as disgusting.

So after my son got older he got more control of keeping it in . It's like made me see many other people have dislikes about normal body parts.

Like how many people can't stand the sight of barefeet they think that are not baby like are totally disgusting saying they need shoes on their feet all the time.

But as we know we won't cut our tongues out or cut off our feet just because other people don't like them .

We need our tongues for speech and our feet for walking .

I say people who are used to being different and being around different people even when they are normal are more accepting at times than those who haven't been around different people that much.
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Old 04-25-2009, 02:52 PM
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Imagine:

It is 19th century China. Some girls' feet are bound in early childhood. You hear comments from others that unbound feet are "disgusting" and no man will want your daughter who has "huge" feet.

What do you do? What do you think? What do you say? What choice do you make for your child?




(Margaret Mead said: "If a fish were an anthropologist, the last thing it would discover would be the water." So, sometimes it helps to look another "fishbowl" to get perspective on our own.)

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Old 04-25-2009, 03:01 PM
 
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(Warning: sarcasm ahead!!!)

Oh, yeah, Gilles Marini is really gross. Yuck yuck yuck. And so is Will Smith. And Leonardo DiCaprio. And Mario Lopez. And Keanu Reeves, Nicolas Cage, and Prince. All intact (just to name a few!) I bet they had a really hard time finding partners. Poor guys.

/sarcasm :

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Old 04-25-2009, 04:30 PM
 
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It really irritates me when people say this.

So my husbands penis is gross looking and dirty because he has a foreskin? Despite the fact he washes it every day?

A dirty man is going to be a dirty man whether he has a foreskin or not.

Personally, I think its disgusting that some people think its ok to chop off a part of a babies body for no medical reason.

But then I am British and don't really have to deal with the circ issue, its just damned annoying when reading forums and people say such crap without thinking. Its foreskinist, to shun someone just because they have a foreskin, to class a whole group of people as dirty and disgusting just because they have a foreskin. Honestly.

You know that being intact is better for your son, you don't need other peoples opinions and if they insist on handing out their 'advice', just say its not up for discussion.
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Old 04-25-2009, 06:32 PM
 
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Let me assure you that is total hogwash. My grown intact sons have seldom had trouble getting girlfriends. The oldest is now happily married.

In fact, I suspect that an intact man can use it to his advantage. If an American woman has never slept with an intact man before, she may be very curious about what sleeping with one is like.

I think it is so sad that a nurse is so ignorant of normal male anatomy.
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Old 04-25-2009, 06:48 PM
 
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My response to any statement like that is:

"no, mutilating a baby's genitals is disgusting"

Victim of Birth Rape & Coerced ribboncesarean.gifUnnecesareanribboncesarean.gif What makes people think they can cut up someone else's genitals? nocirc.gif
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Old 04-25-2009, 11:03 PM
 
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I live in Europe and hardly anyone here is circed. I have been with two circed men - the rest intact. And the two circed men BOTH had problems wearing condoms - they felt great discomfort using them. Now intact men usually dont think condoms are a whole lot of fun either - but they dont find them plain uncomfortable. Thats one thing. The other is - a cut penis just doesnt move in the way its supposed to!
One of the circed men was circed at 6 years old - and I mean cut by some older man who asked him to "look at the birdie". He said its the most painful thing he ever experienced. He couldnt wear trousers for a month. Who would wish that kind of pain on an infant?
I personally think circed penises are unattractive. They dont do the job they are supposed to. So no -not all women will be scared away. My guess is that the more experience women have with intact men, the more they will prefer an intact penis. Also - I wonder if you asked those nurses if they ever had sex with an intact man - of it their preference was merely cosmetic..

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Old 04-26-2009, 01:01 AM
 
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It's just 2 peoples own personnel opinions on the penis. Kinda like saying all fat women are gross. Just because it's been said does not make it true. I personally have had both kinds and I do prefer the circ'ed kind. But not being circ'ed did not stop me from dating the guy I was with, for 2 years. So it's all a matter of preference. If you don't want to do it to your boy then don't. And regardless of what everyone else on here says, it is a very sensitive decision that has to be made and agreed upon by you and your husband.
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Old 04-26-2009, 01:12 AM
 
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The women with whom you were speaking are presumably from your generation or older, right? Your son will some day be seeking sexual partners from his generation (I hope!) and not a bunch of older ladies whose opinions and biases were shaped by the era in which they grew up. In the generation your son will be growing up in, intact will be at least not "abnormal" or so atypical that it would be viewed as disgusting by the girls in his generation.
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Old 04-26-2009, 01:14 AM
 
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it is a very sensitive decision that has to be made and agreed upon by you and your husband.
No, actually it's a decision that should be made by the owner of the genitals...if your parents preferred a circumcised girl...would that have been ok with you?

Victim of Birth Rape & Coerced ribboncesarean.gifUnnecesareanribboncesarean.gif What makes people think they can cut up someone else's genitals? nocirc.gif
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Old 04-26-2009, 01:17 AM
 
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I briefly pondered this one after an episode of "Sex and the City."
I saw that episode when my ds1 was a baby and I cringed! We were the first in our family's to non-circ.

The rate for non-circ is WAY higher and really that is just the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. Someone is disgusting b/c their genitals are normal?

I feel sad for my dh and I have many friends who are with non-circ'sd partners and are very happy with it.
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Old 04-26-2009, 01:23 AM
 
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No, actually it's a decision that should be made by the owner of the genitals...if your parents preferred a circumcised girl...would that have been ok with you?
:
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Old 04-26-2009, 01:34 AM
 
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You know--I had never really thought of it that way---"a shallow women filter"
Just to highlight this point further. I bet if you told them of an example of a woman coming up to her future In-Laws and say "thank you for circing him, he is much more attractive, I dont know if I could be with him otherwise." they would say that is a great example of why your son should be circed.

But what if you switched it around? What if a man went up to his future In-Laws and said "hey thanks for paying for that boob job, she is much more attractive, dont know if I could be with her otherwise." Those women would call that man a shallow pig! (and for good reason)


Shallow women filters indeed!
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Old 04-26-2009, 01:40 AM
 
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I would LOVE it if my husband was intact. Sadly he didn't get to make that decision.
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Old 04-26-2009, 01:50 AM
 
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i would love it if my husband was intact. Sadly he didn't get to make that decision.
amen.

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Old 04-26-2009, 03:12 AM
 
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jlovesl, the only right choice for parents is to leave their child intact and I would never "agree" with my husband to mutilate my son's genitals

Fyrestorm, very well said!

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Old 04-26-2009, 04:37 AM
 
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I'm a 20 year old American female, and I find it sad that the majority of men my age are cut. I would absolutely love to find out that a boyfriend was intact...it'd be the cherry on top of the cake

And I'm not alone. My friend is traveling abroad next year and can't wait to see what she's been missing in the penis department. Heck, even my best gay guy friend wants an intact guy! The times are a changing! My friend has an intact guy friend in his 20's who says he's "converted" all his girlfriends.

Not that any women should be thinking about their sons sex lives and all that. Just pointing out that there are many of us women out there who would be eternally thankful to have MILs like you.

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