7 year old won't retract, scary website - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 21 Old 04-28-2009, 11:54 AM - Thread Starter
 
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My 7 year old's foreskin will not retract. When he was first born, my ped told me that I should be retracting his foreskin, and by the time he was 6 months, it could be done. But then I switched to a ped who actually knew what she was talking about, and never again tried retracting him. She said that if I forcably retracted his foreskin, it could scar and be unable to retract when he was older. Unfortunately, I think that may be what happened.

Now my son has an appt with a urologist in June, and after reading this site: http://www.circlist.com/anatterms/phimotic.html I am terrified that he will need to be circumcised. I dont know what to do.
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#2 of 21 Old 04-28-2009, 12:02 PM
 
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Many boys don't retract until puberty. I don't see why you'd have anything to worry about.

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#3 of 21 Old 04-28-2009, 12:04 PM
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You son does NOT need an appt with a urologist, he is perfectly FINE. Only about 50% of the boys retract by the age of 10. It is totally nornal to not retract till much later.
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#4 of 21 Old 04-28-2009, 12:06 PM
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True phimosis can NOT be diagnosed till puberty. Phimosis in babies/boys is NORMAL. You have absolutely nothing to worry about.
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#5 of 21 Old 04-28-2009, 12:31 PM
 
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I agree. Don't go to a urologist if your son is not in pain. My son is 9 and not retractable. I had a dr. tell me that he was supposed to be retractable by 2! I changed peds and she dismissed that information as untrue. My husband is French, so I asked him and his father and they both were only retractable at the start of puberty.

My mother was told the same info as you and retracted my brother from infancy. He's fine and retractable now and as far as I know, has no adhesions or scars.

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#6 of 21 Old 04-28-2009, 03:30 PM
 
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Just wanted to add that in Norway circumcision isn't done even in cases where the foreskin can't be retracted after 18 years of age - all that is done if there's phimosis at that age is that a small slit is made to make the foreskin wide enough to be retracted. So even if your son's foreskin can't be retracted in ten years, he still doesn't need to be circumcised.
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#7 of 21 Old 04-28-2009, 03:49 PM
 
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Originally Posted by MPJJJ View Post
My 7 year old's foreskin will not retract. When he was first born, my ped told me that I should be retracting his foreskin, and by the time he was 6 months, it could be done. But then I switched to a ped who actually knew what she was talking about, and never again tried retracting him. She said that if I forcably retracted his foreskin, it could scar and be unable to retract when he was older. Unfortunately, I think that may be what happened.

Now my son has an appt with a urologist in June, and after reading this site: http://www.circlist.com/anatterms/phimotic.html I am terrified that he will need to be circumcised. I dont know what to do.
I answer a lot of questions for guys with penis questions on this teen site I go to a lot. Its not uncommon at all to have a 15 (16, 17...etc) to come on and say they cannot retract their foreskin yet. The average age of retraction is around 11, but there is no problem with it being later then that. A non retractable foreskin does not hinder penis function, sexual or peeing.


Things will resolve naturally over time, as they are suppose to. As they say, "don't fix what isn't broken."
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#8 of 21 Old 04-28-2009, 03:49 PM
 
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I am sorry you got horrible advice from your first Dr.

But like all others have said it is perfectly normal for a 7yo not to retract. Retraction is often related to puberty and the hormones that happen then. So until he is fully into puberty being none retractable is not an issue.

 
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#9 of 21 Old 04-28-2009, 06:00 PM
 
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www.cirp.org in the library section under normal development has the studies that show that it is not until 10.5 years that 1/2 of the boys are fully retractable. That means at 10.5 1/2 are not fully retractable. So don't worry. As to circlist, look at the site thoroughly and you will more than likely conclude that is it not a reliable source of information.
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#10 of 21 Old 04-28-2009, 06:11 PM
 
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With the penis, as with the vagina, in the absence of pain, discharge, bleeding or pus, there is nothing wrong and no doctor need be consulted. Non-retraction is only EVER a problem if it prevents normal urination or causes pain. Cancel the appointment.

As an aside, MPJJJ, it's time to let go of your guilt and worry over the forced retraction advice you followed when your DS was tiny. You did what you did in order to help him KEEP his foreskin. It is NOT your fault you got terrible advice, the very instant you knew better you DID better. Yes, adhesions can form, but this happened to a friend of mine and the problem with adhesions was abundantly apparent at 8 months when he got a severe infection and had to be circumcised. At your son's age i would assume that a) the previously forcibly retracted foreskin healed back onto the glans as nature intended it to be and b) he just happens to be in the around 60% of boys his age who cannot retract yet. I hate to think of you worrying and worrying over this because of the crappy advice you followed when he was a baby.
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#11 of 21 Old 04-28-2009, 09:24 PM
 
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Unless your ds is having issues that you didnt mention there is no need to take him to the urologist. The only thing that will happen should you take him will either be
A) The urologist will say he needs circ right off the bat
B) The urologist will prescribe steroid cream to try and get him retracting which is a big : for prepubesent boys
D) He will attempt to retract your ds and cause your ds pain. NO one but your ds should be trying to retract his penis.
C) He will actually know what he is doing and tell you to take a wait and see approach.

To me that isnt worth the $ it will cost for the visit.

 
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#12 of 21 Old 04-28-2009, 11:10 PM
 
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*edit for accidental UAV so, I'll just quote Dave, since he said it so gracefully *
Quote:
As to circlist, look at the site thoroughly and you will more than likely conclude that is it not a reliable source of information.
It is perfectly normal for your son not to be able to retract now, regardless of past retraction.

Even if there was scar tissue from the retraction as an infant, some studies have shown the scars usually release themselves if left alone (somebody got that link? ) Basically, the glans and foreskin repair that original bond and release later (kinda like if your fingernail rips off, it builds that bond back again, bada-bing, happy new fingernail)

If your son is still not retractable AFTER puberty, steroid creams may be prescribed to help loosen things up. Stretching exercises can help. If there is scar tissue (called adhesions or skin bridges), a doc can snip them. By that time, your son will be a young man and will be able to make decisions for himself.

But, as long as he can pee, let it be.

---feeling like an emu on acid---
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#13 of 21 Old 04-28-2009, 11:12 PM
 
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Hi, posts have been removed that were in violation of our User Agreement:

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Do not post to invite MDC members to other boards for adversarial purposes or post inflammatory information about MDC discussions at other boards, or about communities and discussions elsewhere, regardless of whether or not you link to that discussion or community. This is to maintain and respect the integrity of our own and other communities.
There are many sites out there whose goals are antithetical to our own. We trust parents to use their best judgement and weigh the facts for themselves based on the information they find to be most reliable. Here is a link to further resources about retraction and what is in the range of normal: http://www.mothering.com/discussions....php?t=1050900

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#14 of 21 Old 04-29-2009, 01:02 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rabbitmum View Post
Just wanted to add that in Norway circumcision isn't done even in cases where the foreskin can't be retracted after 18 years of age - all that is done if there's phimosis at that age is that a small slit is made to make the foreskin wide enough to be retracted. So even if your son's foreskin can't be retracted in ten years, he still doesn't need to be circumcised.
that is some good advice! thanx 4 sharing!

Latina Mama of 3 and Wife of a great man since 1997
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#15 of 21 Old 04-29-2009, 09:08 AM
 
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unfortunatly the site that you got your information not only supports but pushes for circumcison using outdated, disproven, and outright false imformation. You will find nothing but anti-foreskin imformation on that site as well as scare tactics to get you to circumcise you son or yourself. So its a great site if your looking for a reason TO circumcise you son, if not you might try some of the other sites posted.
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#16 of 21 Old 05-01-2009, 12:27 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I hadn't had a chance to cancel the urology appt, and today I get an appt reminder, plus a lab form to be filled out before the appt. It is a lab for a CBC and a urinalysist. I can understand the pee test, but why the blood test? I don't get it, and it seems incredibly invasive. He hasn't even been see yet! There is no way I would put my son through a blood draw for no real reason. I am definately canceling the appt. Thanks to all of your comforting words and advice, otherwise I might have been fearful enough to put my son through a very traumatic and unnecessary experience.
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#17 of 21 Old 05-01-2009, 06:17 PM
 
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Thanks for the happy update

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#18 of 21 Old 05-01-2009, 06:48 PM
 
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Originally Posted by MPJJJ View Post
I hadn't had a chance to cancel the urology appt, and today I get an appt reminder, plus a lab form to be filled out before the appt. It is a lab for a CBC and a urinalysist. I can understand the pee test, but why the blood test? I don't get it, and it seems incredibly invasive. He hasn't even been see yet! There is no way I would put my son through a blood draw for no real reason. I am definately canceling the appt. Thanks to all of your comforting words and advice, otherwise I might have been fearful enough to put my son through a very traumatic and unnecessary experience.
Unfortunately the path you diverted from is one far too many parents (and more importantly, boys) find themselves on. This just goes to show everyone how truly damaging false facts can be.
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#19 of 21 Old 05-15-2012, 10:49 PM
 
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Hello everyone! I joined just to comment to this topic. My son has been getting what our doctor called "infections" twice in his intact penis. The first when he was about 2 and another about a month ago (he is now 4 1/2). He was prescribed antibiotics and took them. The last time while at the doctors for the infection, which was my son saying it hurt to pee and some whitish fluid coming out of his penis with a slightly red tip, the doctor tried to retract his penis and said it should be retracting by now and gave me a referral to a urologist (I asked do we need a Jewish rabbi??) to get it looked at and possibly circumcised. I really don't want him to get cut, as his father isn't and it seems wrong to me. I got the referral paperwork today and made the appointment, with a very renowned and big hospital in L.A. now I want to cancel!!!! From all of the wonderful info that was provided it looks like his last "infection" was a smegma pearl since it didn't smell bad like the first time and possibly just an irritated tip. It had happened at night so I gave him a warm bath with no soap and the problem was gone by morning. My husband was the one who asked the doctor at the appointment if there was any other treatment besides circumcision and he said no. He is a great doctor that unfortunately doesn't know anything about intact penis or their care. I do not know if I should cancel the appointment tomorrow, or if I should go to make sure it is OK and there is no problems. But I had already told them I don't want him to get cut. And I will stick to it!!  And now I will learn all I can about his "little friend" and will worry about it if it doesn't retract by the age of 18! My husband remembers the first time his retracted and it was before he came to America so it had to be between 4 and 10 years old.Thank you for all of your help and great reading material!!

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#20 of 21 Old 05-16-2012, 05:26 AM
 
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I think you said it all in your post. The doctor does not know anything about the intact penis. Thus his advise is going to be skewed.  Search out a foreskin friendly doctor.

 

It's OK to cancel appointments. I had one recently for an 'ultrasound' of a lump.  Before that came up, another friend doctor took a look and said, "You don't need an ultrasound for that. I'll take care of it." He did. All was fine. No expensive ultrasound needed. In your case, most likely, no expensive circumcision needed either. There are less invasive ways to treat this.
 

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#21 of 21 Old 05-18-2012, 06:21 PM
 
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Just an FYI, circlist is a circumfetish website that's only purpose is to present circumcision in a magical light.  It is connected to Brian Morris: http://www.circleaks.org/index.php?title=Brian_J._Morris and this man: http://www.circleaks.org/index.php?title=Vernon_Quaintance .  Go to cirp.org, it will be much more helpful.


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