Some New Faces? -- Lurkers - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#61 of 153 Old 05-30-2009, 04:41 PM
 
BaMo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 736
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm a long time lurker in this forum. We had decided that if our DC was a boy, we would not circ. We don't know a lot of folks that don't circ and DH was circ, but we knew that we could not do that to our child.

I'm really glad to have this forum because we don't feel so alone.

Wife, mom to DS (4), DD (2) and baby heart 2.7.13

BaMo is offline  
#62 of 153 Old 06-14-2009, 11:45 PM - Thread Starter
 
Fellow Traveler's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Formerly JWhispers
Posts: 2,042
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Fellow Traveler is offline  
#63 of 153 Old 06-25-2009, 03:17 PM
 
THBVsMommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: South Texas
Posts: 522
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
This is the part I hate. Admitting that my first son, who is now 3 yrs old, was circumcised due to my lack of education in this area I never had a second thought about it; in fact it never even crossed my mind til I was sitting in the hospital bed, in labor, giving consent. It was the aftermath that changed my mind on circing.

The day after my son was born, he was circ'ed. I walked into the nursery 5 minutes after the procedure was done.. right into a devastated newborn who was screaming and inconsolable. I took him into the nursing room quickly and tried everything to comfort him. Nothing worked; he was a mess. I knew then that I had to have made a mistake. Something "so routine, so normal" shouldn't be this bad. He was a devastated mess all day and all night long and nursing him was going horribly that day, even though our first day together was an instant BFing success.

As the days/months went on, I decided that I needed to be better informed on what I put my son through. It was overwhelming at first; there is SO MUCH information, but here I am today, completely anti-routine circumcision. I will never be able to take back what I allowed to happen to my son.. the only thing I can do is prevent any future boys I may have from going through this again.

I have apologized to my son countless times, though I know that he has no idea what I am sorry for. I hope that one day, when he's older and we're able to really have this discussion, he forgives me.

DH & I are currently 10 weeks pregnant with our 2nd, and of course if this is a boy, he will remain intact without a second thought to our decision. I'm so happy that my husband is on board with me, even though he himself is circ'd. He is 100% willing to read the research I present to him, and has come to the conclusion himself that it's our not our decision to make, but our son's.

brandi
Wife to Thomas (03/05) Mama to Tommy (04/06) & Emma (01/10)
THBVsMommy is offline  
#64 of 153 Old 06-25-2009, 04:50 PM
Banned
 
Yulia_R's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Lafayette, CO
Posts: 3,128
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by THBVsMommy View Post
This is the part I hate. Admitting that my first son, who is now 3 yrs old, was circumcised due to my lack of education in this area
I'm so sorry, mama (HUGS). Please don't beat yourself up, parenting journey is so tough, many times we do have to learn our lessons the hard way . My son is intact, but I keep beating myself up over partially vaccinating him . When we know better we do better. One thing is for sure, you are not alone, there are so many mothers on this forum that also deeply regret circ-ing their son(s).

If you regret circumcising your son(s), please post here.
http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=112410
Yulia_R is offline  
#65 of 153 Old 06-25-2009, 11:29 PM
 
UhOhWhatNow's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: The Sunshine State
Posts: 192
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think circ'ing is horrible. It's barbaric to me, and it really upsets me.

I first came to this forum when I was so excited that my husband, who IS cut, agreed with me that our son would be left intact! I was thrilled with my choice. My baby is now born and is three months old. I'm SO GLAD we made the decision we did.

The more I research this cruel tradition, the more upset I become, and the more passionately I feel about fighting it.
UhOhWhatNow is offline  
#66 of 153 Old 06-25-2009, 11:33 PM
 
UhOhWhatNow's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: The Sunshine State
Posts: 192
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by THBVsMommy View Post
I have apologized to my son countless times, though I know that he has no idea what I am sorry for. I hope that one day, when he's older and we're able to really have this discussion, he forgives me.

DH & I are currently 10 weeks pregnant with our 2nd, and of course if this is a boy, he will remain intact without a second thought to our decision. I'm so happy that my husband is on board with me, even though he himself is circ'd. He is 100% willing to read the research I present to him, and has come to the conclusion himself that it's our not our decision to make, but our son's.
Awww, don't beat yourself up!! You didn't know... NOW you do. BIG hugs to you... and best wishes with your pregnancy!
UhOhWhatNow is offline  
#67 of 153 Old 06-26-2009, 03:02 PM
 
tutucrazy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 818
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by THBVsMommy View Post
This is the part I hate. Admitting that my first son, who is now 3 yrs old, was circumcised due to my lack of education in this area I never had a second thought about it; in fact it never even crossed my mind til I was sitting in the hospital bed, in labor, giving consent. It was the aftermath that changed my mind on circing.

The day after my son was born, he was circ'ed. I walked into the nursery 5 minutes after the procedure was done.. right into a devastated newborn who was screaming and inconsolable. I took him into the nursing room quickly and tried everything to comfort him. Nothing worked; he was a mess. I knew then that I had to have made a mistake. Something "so routine, so normal" shouldn't be this bad. He was a devastated mess all day and all night long and nursing him was going horribly that day, even though our first day together was an instant BFing success.

As the days/months went on, I decided that I needed to be better informed on what I put my son through. It was overwhelming at first; there is SO MUCH information, but here I am today, completely anti-routine circumcision. I will never be able to take back what I allowed to happen to my son.. the only thing I can do is prevent any future boys I may have from going through this again.

I have apologized to my son countless times, though I know that he has no idea what I am sorry for. I hope that one day, when he's older and we're able to really have this discussion, he forgives me.

DH & I are currently 10 weeks pregnant with our 2nd, and of course if this is a boy, he will remain intact without a second thought to our decision. I'm so happy that my husband is on board with me, even though he himself is circ'd. He is 100% willing to read the research I present to him, and has come to the conclusion himself that it's our not our decision to make, but our son's.
You aren't alone momma! I'm so sorry that no one was there to provide information to you the first time around. I hope you will join us in helping educate parents. I feel like many parents simple don't know any better.

(hugs) and welcome!
Jen

Momma to DS (2/08) and #2 due 10/11.
 
tutucrazy is offline  
#68 of 153 Old 06-26-2009, 04:15 PM
 
Marnica's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 5,585
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Hi...I lurk mostly, post occasionally . I have a 14 momth old intact son.

When pregnant I thought if I had a boy I would of course circ him as wasn't that just what everyone did???

Our hypnobirthing instructor brought it up, mentioning that it is medically unnecessary can be painful and dangerous. This made me research and learn more. I was leaning towards not doing it, and I saw a video of it being done. I cried and went home and told my husband, if we have a boy we are doing this over my dead body...my husband is circ'd but thankfully just told me ok and he was fine with not doing it.

What is strange is that my father is from England. I have no idea if he is circ'd and am dying to ask my mom if he is and if my brother is, but I'm too chicken to ask? I mean ewww asking about your dad's penis

I tend to think my dad may be intact since when we told my parents we were not circ'd DS, they didn't think anything of it! I have this burning desire to know now as I know it is not done in much of Europe, however my father was born in 1939 and perhaps things were different back then. I think I need to just suck it up and ask my mom!!! :

If the people let government decide what foods they eat and what medicines they take, their bodies will soon be in as sorry a state as are the souls of those who live under tyranny." Thomas Jefferson.

Marnica is offline  
#69 of 153 Old 06-26-2009, 06:10 PM
 
UhOhWhatNow's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: The Sunshine State
Posts: 192
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I know my dad is because my mom was so funny when I told her I wasn't doing it to my son, and that in the UK no one does it. I used to be married to a Brit... so anyway she blurts out, "You've BEEN WITH an uncut man?" all shocked and surprised! hahaha it was funny... So she was like asking about it... clearly she's never seen an uncut penis!
UhOhWhatNow is offline  
#70 of 153 Old 06-26-2009, 07:03 PM
 
Litcrit's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Belgrade, Serbia
Posts: 219
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I come to this subforum a lot because I'm fascinated, in an eery way, that this thing is actually done to baby boys in the US... it was quite a culture shock to first discover the topic on a US discussion forum - I'd never heard of it before.

Granted, in my part of the world it does sometimes happen - but only to boys of devout Jews and Muslims, not those not really practicing - and the majority aren't really practicing.

So, the shock, and the outrage, and the SHOCK - did I mention the shock? - are what makes me come back here. I learned recently here that only a bit over 50% boys are now circ'd in the US and that made me :
Litcrit is offline  
#71 of 153 Old 06-27-2009, 02:03 PM
 
SashaBreeze's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 626
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I posted a question recently and didn't even think about introducing myself first. Oops.

I have no doubt that had my first two children been boys they would have been circumcised. I had not even thought about not doing it, something EVERYONE did almost like it had to be done.

It's been over 5years so my memory is a little fuzzy, but as I remember it:
I had horrible, terrifying birth experiences with my first two and went looking on line with my 3rd trying to find information about natural birth and making the birthing experience in general more pleasant and stumbled on MDC. While reading around I saw an area on the board about circumcision. At that time wasn't it still more like a debate thread???? At any rate out of curiosity, I had never gave it a thought, I started reading and following links. I was horrified! I had my dh watch and read everything I was learning and we both were stunned. At the time we did not know yet if we would have a boy or a girl but we KNEW that if we had boys they would not be circumcised.
We went years without Internet access and have only decided to get it back for the past 6months or so and I stumbled on MDC again and was so excited I just had to join!

So that is our story. Every person I meet since reading the information on MDC when I was pregnant with T that is pregnant I BEG not to get there child circumcised and give them as much info as I can.

Thanks for having me,
Sasha

Loved wife to JT and grateful mother to M (dd age 13) L (dd age 10) T (ds age 6) A (ds age 4) E (dd age 2) and C & S (twin boys born 10/13/10)
and yes, I blog. thumb.gif
SashaBreeze is offline  
#72 of 153 Old 06-28-2009, 03:02 AM
 
emma1325's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,275
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marnica View Post
Hi...I lurk mostly, post occasionally . I have a 14 momth old intact son.

What is strange is that my father is from England. I have no idea if he is circ'd and am dying to ask my mom if he is and if my brother is, but I'm too chicken to ask? I mean ewww asking about your dad's penis

I tend to think my dad may be intact since when we told my parents we were not circ'd DS, they didn't think anything of it! I have this burning desire to know now as I know it is not done in much of Europe, however my father was born in 1939 and perhaps things were different back then. I think I need to just suck it up and ask my mom!!! :
That's hilarious Marnica.

My mom recently told me that my dad is uncircumcised...I didn't ask, she just brought it up. He was one of four brothers born in the 50's...the first two sons (including my dad) were left intact. The second two were circumcised...because the doctors and nurses pressured my grandmother into it with all the same bs reasons they still do today...it would stay cleaner, be healthier, look prettier.

Loving mother, Devoted Wife
emma1325 is offline  
#73 of 153 Old 06-28-2009, 03:05 AM
 
emma1325's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,275
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm Kellie. I have 2 girls. Their genitals were left uncut and I would do the same for a son

I hang out in the vaccine boards mostly, but have been venturing out a bit.

Loving mother, Devoted Wife
emma1325 is offline  
#74 of 153 Old 06-28-2009, 11:16 AM
 
tutucrazy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 818
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I just wanted to welcome everyone. I've really enjoyed learning about everyone and reading your experiences. Stick around gals (and guys). Let's speak for all those boys who don't have a voice.

Momma to DS (2/08) and #2 due 10/11.
 
tutucrazy is offline  
#75 of 153 Old 06-28-2009, 02:45 PM
 
K703's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 94
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm Kelly, a 24-year-old intact man. I got here because last November I did some searching on the subject and found some sites that were strongly anti-circ, and the MDC forum was one of them. When I first came here I wasn't sure if I should join in or not, but when I saw that there are several other guys around here I decided to join in on the discussions here.

Kelly, a man who is proud to be intact!
K703 is online now  
#76 of 153 Old 06-28-2009, 02:52 PM
 
Marnica's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 5,585
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marnica View Post
Hi...I lurk mostly, post occasionally . I have a 14 momth old intact son.

When pregnant I thought if I had a boy I would of course circ him as wasn't that just what everyone did???

Our hypnobirthing instructor brought it up, mentioning that it is medically unnecessary can be painful and dangerous. This made me research and learn more. I was leaning towards not doing it, and I saw a video of it being done. I cried and went home and told my husband, if we have a boy we are doing this over my dead body...my husband is circ'd but thankfully just told me ok and he was fine with not doing it.

What is strange is that my father is from England. I have no idea if he is circ'd and am dying to ask my mom if he is and if my brother is, but I'm too chicken to ask? I mean ewww asking about your dad's penis

I tend to think my dad may be intact since when we told my parents we were not circ'd DS, they didn't think anything of it! I have this burning desire to know now as I know it is not done in much of Europe, however my father was born in 1939 and perhaps things were different back then. I think I need to just suck it up and ask my mom!!! :

Well I finally asked my mom....my dad IS circ'd! I have to admit Im surpised (and kinda dissappointed10 as he is a Brit...however this was in 1939 and he was from an "upperclass" family. I think back then the upperclasses cir'd. Oh well. My DS is the first in the family then!

If the people let government decide what foods they eat and what medicines they take, their bodies will soon be in as sorry a state as are the souls of those who live under tyranny." Thomas Jefferson.

Marnica is offline  
#77 of 153 Old 06-28-2009, 02:59 PM
 
Poodge's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Fort Collins, CO
Posts: 477
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hello! I am a mom to a 3 month old intact son. I knew if we had a boy I would not circ him. My dad is not and my mom had talked with me about it growing up. When we found out we were having a boy I showed the research to DH, who gladly agreed we would not do that to our child. Now the more research I do the worse I feel about it being done to any boy.

Mama to DS (03/09) and DD (10/11) and married to the love of my life

Poodge is offline  
#78 of 153 Old 06-28-2009, 03:05 PM - Thread Starter
 
Fellow Traveler's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Formerly JWhispers
Posts: 2,042
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marnica View Post
Well I finally asked my mom....my dad IS circ'd! I have to admit Im surpised (and kinda dissappointed10 as he is a Brit...however this was in 1939 and he was from an "upperclass" family. I think back then the upperclasses cir'd. Oh well. My DS is the first in the family then!
The British didn't get their act together on this until 10 years later. It did happen in the 'upper' classes during that period.
Fellow Traveler is offline  
#79 of 153 Old 06-29-2009, 11:39 AM
 
dorenavant's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: royal oak, mi
Posts: 57
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hi, I came here a few months ago looking for information when I found out the baby I'm carrying is a boy. I remember during my last pregnancy we talked about circ a bit in my Bradley birth classes, but we knew at that point that we were having a girl so I admit I didn't pay very close attention- I only knew that it sounded awful to me and I was relieved that I didn't have to make that decision at the time.
I was nervous to have the discussion with DH this pregnancy, but he surprised me by being very open-minded; we watched the Penn and Teller BS episode and had a short discussion and he agreed to leave our son intact. :
Soon after that, I decided to tell my father about our decision because I was expecting opposition and was pleasantly surprised that he had attended a bris (sp?) as a young man and was appalled at the whole procedure. He said he was thrilled that we were not going to hurt his grandson needlessly.
Well, just yesterday I was with DH's family (DH was not present) and his brother was telling me how awful changing a newborn boy was going to be- I assumed because of the possibility of getting peed on, but he said no because of the aftermath of circ. When I said, "Oh, but we're not going to circumcise him," my MIL acted HORRIFIED and started in on STD's and AIDS and cleanliness- I was not at all prepared to get into a big discussion with her and just said, "I've done a lot of research and DH agrees with me that it's unnecesary. The STD and AIDS study was done in Africa, not in the US." She countered, "but the article I read was written by a doctor!" "I'm sure it was," I told her, "and I've read countless articles by doctors who are against circumcision." Thankfully my FIL stepped in as peacemaker and just said that everyone has a difference of opinion even in the medical community and of course we could each find articles supporting our positions. She got in one last comment about it being "gross" or "dirty" or something, and I had to walk away. I was so upset I couldn't stop thinking about it, and kept thinking up comebacks, but as we were at a family party I didn't feel it was appropriate for me to bring it up again. I can't say that I'm surprised that my conservative IL's don't agree with us on this issue, but it obviously took me by surprise and upset me- I think this is the first thing that my MIL and I have ever argued about in 9 years. I warned DH that he will probably hear about it next time he speaks to her, and he said he'd just ask her if she felt like all 4 of her granddaughters needed to be circ'd too since apparently all genitals are "dirty". I'm so glad I have his support on this issue, and glad that I can come here for good information in case this escalates and I want to provide MIL with some anti-circ info.
dorenavant is offline  
#80 of 153 Old 06-30-2009, 06:51 PM
 
billikengirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: TN
Posts: 413
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Yeah, I lurk. Just found out baby on the way is a boy last week, but DH and I have been arguing about circ since the stick turned blue. After the ultrasound, I was so upset. His wanting to chop off pieces of our baby really sucked the joy out of seeing said baby with the ultrasound.

I renewed our argument later in the day and he is very, very angry with me about this but concedes that he cannot/will not take our son to have it done without my consent. He had been so (uncharacteristically) resistant to reason that I did fear that he would go to those lengths. So now I feel much more at peace about having a boy.

I appreciate what I've learned on this forum about my right and my obligation to protect my boy....when EVERYONE else was telling me that I needed to just defer to my husband because he has a penis and how dare I cause conflict in my marriage over something so insignificant as a foreskin that needs to come off anyway or else my kid will be embarrassed in some locker room.

Melissa, wife to Brian, mommy to my home born, breastfeeding, sling-riding, sleep sharing, cloth diapered, intact kiddos Adam 11/09 and Leah 8/12.

billikengirl is offline  
#81 of 153 Old 06-30-2009, 07:12 PM
 
billikengirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: TN
Posts: 413
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by dorenavant View Post
When I said, "Oh, but we're not going to circumcise him," my MIL acted HORRIFIED and started in on STD's and AIDS and cleanliness- I was not at all prepared to get into a big discussion with her and just said, "I've done a lot of research and DH agrees with me that it's unnecesary. The STD and AIDS study was done in Africa, not in the US." She countered, "but the article I read was written by a doctor!" "I'm sure it was," I told her, "and I've read countless articles by doctors who are against circumcision." Thankfully my FIL stepped in as peacemaker and just said that everyone has a difference of opinion even in the medical community and of course we could each find articles supporting our positions. She got in one last comment about it being "gross" or "dirty" or something, and I had to walk away. I was so upset I couldn't stop thinking about it, and kept thinking up comebacks, but as we were at a family party I didn't feel it was appropriate for me to bring it up again. I can't say that I'm surprised that my conservative IL's don't agree with us on this issue, but it obviously took me by surprise and upset me- I think this is the first thing that my MIL and I have ever argued about in 9 years. I warned DH that he will probably hear about it next time he speaks to her, and he said he'd just ask her if she felt like all 4 of her granddaughters needed to be circ'd too since apparently all genitals are "dirty". I'm so glad I have his support on this issue, and glad that I can come here for good information in case this escalates and I want to provide MIL with some anti-circ info.
I feel your pain somewhat, and sympathize with the desire to inform--when I told my own dad (dude was a hippie back in the day, my sister and I were both born at home with a midwife in the 80s) about not circing he threw out the most ill thought out lemming like arguments at me that I was (almost) speechless. I was SO disappointed. I keep wishing I'd not been so shocked and could have calmly refuted things point by point.

Melissa, wife to Brian, mommy to my home born, breastfeeding, sling-riding, sleep sharing, cloth diapered, intact kiddos Adam 11/09 and Leah 8/12.

billikengirl is offline  
#82 of 153 Old 07-02-2009, 10:41 AM
 
UhOhWhatNow's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: The Sunshine State
Posts: 192
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Stand strong billikengirl!!! You're making a great choice. My DH is cut, and he is fine with our son being uncut...

The AIDS thing really boggles my mind. How about NOT having unprotected sex, whether or not you have a foreskin??? Duh?
UhOhWhatNow is offline  
#83 of 153 Old 07-02-2009, 01:19 PM
 
SunShineSally's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: In the land of NO punctuation.!,?':
Posts: 2,970
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I was over here a few years back when my Ds was cut with out permission
and now I am due with #2 and need to re read everything and also had to convince my DF that this is what would be best and he read a little and saw that many of his issues where because of his circ and was convinced in about 3 minutes : also my Ds had many issues because of his circ they didn't even do it right so this new bean will be just how God intended him to be : I still feel horrible for my Ds who is earthside right now but his issues have cleared up and he is now doing well (his hole was so small and it would seal up and I would have to seperate it in the mornings and evenings also when he went to an uroligist they had to use a premmie cath and he was almost 2!)

So I will be hanging around some for awhile again hope you don't mind I am sure i will have some silly questions

Glenn bouncy.gif 11*09 Joe 4*04 peace.gif Me praying.gif & Hubby geek.gif

 

Quote:
 

 

SunShineSally is offline  
#84 of 153 Old 07-03-2009, 01:27 AM
 
mamaX6's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 22
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We had four girls when I found out I was pregnant with boy/girl twins. We had always joked that we dodged the circ bullet...... I told my husband that I would totally support whatever decision he came up with regarding our son. He went into complete research mode (he saw that Pen and Teller video, as well). My husband is circumcised (and we are from the midwest). He decided that there was no way he wanted to circumcise our little guy (I was so happy!!!). Just a side note about "matching"....my MIL freaked when we told her our decision. She said that we were crazy and could not believe we would not circumcise. She told us a few horror stories and in anger said, "your father is not circumcised!" My husband had NO idea (for anyone that argues that it is important to match). Oddly, when my husband asked his father for his opinion he said he never cared one way or the other..... We are still sort of shocked by my MIL's reaction considering my FIL could care less. I have been surprised by some of the harsh reactions (at church someone said they would never marry someone that was not circumcised....I said it was a good thing she was not going to marry my son....). We sort of think that he can make his own decision on it eventually (I heard the plastic surgeon on the Doctors say that they can do custom circs now with very little pain....whatever that means....). Just nice to follow people that get us!
mamaX6 is offline  
#85 of 153 Old 07-03-2009, 08:54 AM
Banned
 
SlackerDad's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Missouri
Posts: 152
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by billikengirl View Post
I renewed our argument later in the day and he is very, very angry with me about this but concedes that he cannot/will not take our son to have it done without my consent. He had been so (uncharacteristically) resistant to reason that I did fear that he would go to those lengths. So now I feel much more at peace about having a boy.

I appreciate what I've learned on this forum about my right and my obligation to protect my boy....when EVERYONE else was telling me that I needed to just defer to my husband because he has a penis and how dare I cause conflict in my marriage over something so insignificant as a foreskin that needs to come off anyway or else my kid will be embarrassed in some locker room.
I'm so sorry to hear this has caused such conflict. I salute you for protecting your son even in the face of such pressure. I suspect that circ'd men often feel defensive about the issue. Essentially you are telling your husband that (1) his parents allowed something awful to happen to him when he was a baby; and (2) as a result, he now has a penis that is not what it should be--he was robbed of his birthright and nothing can ever get it back. What man wants to hear that?

Apologies to all for not having introduced myself. Like Kelly, I am an intact man. I lucked out: my parents were living in Kenya when my mom got pregnant; she tried to return to the U.S. in her third trimester but the airline wouldn't let her on the plane. So I was born in a hospital in Nairobi where infants were not circumcised. By the time my parents got back to the U.S. three months later, they had gotten used to me in my intact state and didn't have the heart to do it (they figured they could offer me the option when I was older--they did and I swiftly and unhesitatingly refused). This gives me another idea: three month waiting periods for circumcision. What argument for doing it as a newborn would not after all apply to a three month old? They are not going to remember it either way, and a three month old does not spend much time in locker rooms.

In any event, while I very much appreciate the passion for this issue expressed by a number of women here, I'm not sure anyone can more intensely and directly understand the horror of this practice than can an intact man. I've seen circ'd guys. I can see that what is going on with their genitals (scarred, dried out, no gliding mechanism) is just not the way it's supposed to be. I know my own equipment intimately (obviously), know how it works, know that I need that stuff they cut off other guys. (I sometimes wonder if the jokes inserted in some movies or even TV shows about teenage boys having KY jelly or other lubricant around leave European guys puzzled.) I would honestly rather lose one of my hands (especially my left) or even one of my eyes than lose that part of my body.

So I think that makes it clear why I'm here. This practice needs to be ended, period.

ETA: Forgot to mention that I have a 9yo son who is intact. He "looks just like his dad", though I didn't look like mine--goes to show that it only takes one generation and then all those to follow can look alike in a much nicer way, once the switch is made.
SlackerDad is offline  
#86 of 153 Old 07-03-2009, 09:32 AM
 
calngavinsmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Ontario Canada....EH!?!
Posts: 2,079
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by SlackerDad View Post
This gives me another idea: three month waiting periods for circumcision. What argument for doing it as a newborn would not after all apply to a three month old? They are not going to remember it either way, and a three month old does not spend much time in locker rooms.
Circumstraints are only designed to restrain infants up to 4500grams(about 10lbs) My guys were over that before they were one month old.

I totally agree with you by the way. If parents were allowed to bond more deeply with their babies, this probably would not happen as much.

Take care,
Tara

Tara Momma to Callum and Gavin
calngavinsmom is offline  
#87 of 153 Old 07-03-2009, 11:15 AM
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Canada
Posts: 762
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Slackerdad - Lucky you !!! I was born in Kenya too, and my brothers and I were all circumcised. Two of the three of us are really pissed about it.
hakunangovi is offline  
#88 of 153 Old 07-03-2009, 11:28 AM
Banned
 
SlackerDad's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Missouri
Posts: 152
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by hakunangovi View Post
Slackerdad - Lucky you !!! I was born in Kenya too, and my brothers and I were all circumcised. Two of the three of us are really pissed about it.
Whoa--that's a weird coincidence, to have multiple people born in Kenya on the board. What year were you born? (1969 for me.) I wonder why the difference? Did your parents do some special arrangement to have it done or something?

Sorry btw that you got circ'd. I always feel the most awkward talking about this with guys who had this happen against their will right at the beginning of life. Nothing you can do about it now...and in a weird way I wonder if the guys who think it was peachy keen to have been circ'd (like your third brother) are better off in a way, being blissfully ignorant.

Alan
SlackerDad is offline  
#89 of 153 Old 07-03-2009, 11:47 AM
Banned
 
Yulia_R's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Lafayette, CO
Posts: 3,128
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by SlackerDad View Post
Nothing you can do about it now...
This is not true. Non-sergical restoration is always an option.
Yulia_R is offline  
#90 of 153 Old 07-03-2009, 01:04 PM
 
benj's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: arizona
Posts: 278
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yulia_R View Post
This is not true. Non-sergical restoration is always an option.
That only restores some of the funtions. It is helpful, but not ideal.

Anyways, I think we're stuck in our little bubble in the US...we seem to think we (as a culture) know better than everyone. Information takes a lot longer to get through to people.

two amazing sons & .
benj is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off