Bris without circumcision? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 13 Old 01-28-2004, 07:57 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I apologize if this topic has been brought up, but I have never browsed over here before.

How does one find someone who will perform a ceremony without the amputation of the foreskin? I think if we could still have the bris (read: big expensive party) my in-laws would accept the intact penis idea a little better. I am in South Florida.

I thought for a while that I could let it go, my husband is so opposed to having another child, but now that I'm pregnant there's just no way. All my friends' kids are intact and that's what seems normal to me for a baby and child now. A grown man can of course do as he wishes.

Thanks!
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#2 of 13 Old 01-28-2004, 08:24 PM
 
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Hi Liz
I would suggest typing alternative bris into the msn search engine.I know there plenty of websites regarding nocirc bris but I dont know what they are.There will prtobably be others on this board who will be able to give you exact links.Nocirc bris ceromonies are becoming more common these days.I,m sure someone will be able to refer you to somebody who performs the woundless ritual.

Good Luck
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#3 of 13 Old 01-29-2004, 12:38 AM
 
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Liz- Try contacting Ronald Goldman in Boston... order his book, see if he can help you connect with other Jewish families who didn't circumcse so you can find out what they did.

Here's the link: http://www.circumcision.org/qcjp.htm

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

Love Sarah
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#4 of 13 Old 01-29-2004, 02:27 AM
 
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You can find links at the NOCIRC and NOHARMM websites as well as information at the Jews Against Circumcision website. You can also go to the CIRP website and type "Jewish" in the search block and find several results about the ceremony, etc.



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#5 of 13 Old 01-29-2004, 09:54 AM
 
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Well, if you want to make a play on words, I know a (observant Conservative) couple who has a "brit milim" for their daughters. "Brit milah" means literally "covenant of the cutting" but "milah" spelled differently (in Hebrew) means "word". So they had a "Welcome to the covenant with words not cutting" party. Of course, this was for a girl, so was not a big deal.

Personally, I believe that it's not a legitimate bris without the cut, but if you are not shomer mizvot anyway, then this is not the issue.

If you are looking for alternative ceremonies though, there are some great ideas out there if you google "simchat bat" or something similar.

Mazel Tov!
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#6 of 13 Old 01-30-2004, 12:26 AM
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Quote:
Originally posted by LookMommy!


Personally, I believe that it's not a legitimate bris without the cut,
She didn't ask whether or not YOU thought it would be legitimate. This isn't about you.

Way to stand up for your baby, LizD!
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#7 of 13 Old 01-30-2004, 11:00 AM
 
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mamajulie, LookMommy was being supportive of the OP and LizD's concerns.

She stated a brief opinion.

There was no need to get attitudinal about it.

Peace.
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#8 of 13 Old 01-30-2004, 12:20 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by merpk
mamajulie,
There was no need to get attitudinal about it.

Au contraire.
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#10 of 13 Old 02-03-2004, 01:49 AM
 
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Hi Liz! Can't help much with the alt. briss, as we didn't have one, but wanted to let you know that we are another Jewish couple that didn't circ! My dh had a hard time with it, but I stood firm. His family was all freaked out, but he just told them that it was our decision and to drop it.

Dh is over it, now


Congrats!


Kristi

"Have faith in yourself and in the direction you have chosen." Ralph Marston

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#11 of 13 Old 02-04-2004, 12:12 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for the responses. Since we are not at all religious I don't feel legitimacy is some kind of handed-down or authoritative thing; if it's legitimate to the parents it's legitimate. The only reason to have such a ceremony would be for the sake of in-laws, who, it turns out, will not be around anyway. So no worries! My husband used to say he wanted any sons circumcised but didn't care about having a bris (ie the doc could do it) but I oppose circumcision, so there we are.
Thanks again!

After all that it's probably a girl.
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#12 of 13 Old 02-09-2004, 06:01 PM
 
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Hey there! No advice, since we didn't have a bris, but wanted to say, yet another Jewish family with 2 uncirc'd boys! Have you seen "Questioning Circumcision: A Jewish Perspective?" I got it from Amazon. It has a lot of really good arguments, more than it's just cruel. I'm in the process of converting to Reform and my older son is not my husband's biological child. We were really struggling with the circ issue with our younger son since I'm completely against it and my husband was mostly worried about his dad. His dad is a holocaust survivor and he's not so young anymore. Anyway, my husband's final decision was not to do it, but his major reason was so that our older son wouldn't feel less Jewish being the only uncirc'd in the family. Isn't that sweet? Good reason, too, I think. Anyway, his dad wasn't upset at all (big shock after all the worrying and arguing dh and I went through). He only said he thought there were medical benefits and dh explained they'd all been disproven except for some really minor benefits whose percentages are so small, they might not even be outside the standard deviation. Anyway, FIL wasn't very concerned and MIL actually told me she was happy for us, that she'd hated the bris for each of her 4 boys but hadn't had the courage to stand up to everyone around her. ((HUGS))

Wendy
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#13 of 13 Old 02-10-2004, 01:27 AM
 
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Wendy:

Congratulations for having such supportive inlaws. You must remember that they come from a very different time frame and a time where the information was not available as it is so easily available now. They also have to be very open to new information and very intelligent people.

I have a friend who is a Jewess. She witnessed a Bris one time and was totally appalled and was then at another but would not be in the same room. After that, she refused to attend another and finally left the religion in part because of the ritual. Even though she had no sons, she felt very much the same as your MIL. I suspect your MIL's options were very limited when her sons were born. Embrace them for being so supportive!




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