|View Poll Results: How did the subject come up with the dad?|
|I told him I didn't want to, and a big argument started.||9||60.00%|
|I told him I didn't want to, and we disagreed briefly, but he came around.||26||100.00%|
|I told him I didn't want to, and he agreed.||32||100.00%|
|I asked him what he thought about it, and a big argument started.||3||20.00%|
|I asked him what he thought about it, and we disagreed briefly, but he came around.||4||26.67%|
|I asked him what he thought about it, and he agreed with me.||17||100.00%|
|It came up at a Dr visit/lamaze class/LLL meeting/etc, and a big argument started.||0||0%|
|It came up at a Dr visit/lamaze class/LLL meeting/etc, and we disagreed briefly, but he came around.||4||26.67%|
|It came up at a Dr visit/lamaze class/LLL meeting/etc, and he agreed.||1||6.67%|
|He brought it up, and a big argument started.||1||6.67%|
|He brought it up, and we disagreed briefly, but he came around.||0||0%|
|He brought it up, and he agreed.||1||6.67%|
|We never really discussed it, I just decided and saw no reason to talk about it.||3||20.00%|
|The daddy is an intactivist.||14||93.33%|
|Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 15. You may not vote on this poll|
Another thread got me wondering how these big arguments over whether or not to cut off part of the soon to be born boys penis get started in the first place.
It came up when I was pregnant with my first (gender unknown ahead of time) and it was brought up by me when I just casually mentioned "circumcision is the most awful thing I've seen in my life and if this child is a boy there is no way he'll be circed". End of discussion. My dh is very smart and reasonable and knew long ago that a - circ has no medical benefits, and b- there is no point in arguing with me. Lol!
Mom & RN
Pardon the typos - CWOK (cat walking on keyboard)
He even went to the march in DC with me a few years ago!
My poll answer is: I told him I didn't want to, and he agreed.
Mom & RN
Pardon the typos - CWOK (cat walking on keyboard)
It was pretty much:
"If we have a boy, I don't want to circumcise him."
"But I'm circumcised, I think a boy should be circumcised if his father is."
so it wasn't even really much of a disagreement. We are now both very glad our son is intact.
When DH and I met. I already had bumper stickers on my car and was deeply involved in the intactivist movement.
DD turned out to be a girl, but it was never mentioned as a possibility or even in conversation...ever. There was no reason to.
I picked that one but it isnt 100% accurate. I told him if we had a boy we where not circing and he said yes we are and I started crying a bit (did I mention I was pg w/dd so the hormones where a running) and said I dont agree with it and think it is a horrible thing to do to a child and he basically said OK then. But we had several more discussion about it later on when I got pg with #2
He still is not as anti circ as I am but he isnt totally pro circ either.
SAHMlovin' fan to DD 10/00 & DS 10/04 If your ds is intact, keep him safe, visit the Case Against Circ forumCirc, a personal choice, Your sons11/986/99anti-tobaccoThyroid cancer survivor. With & & (Boxer) wishing 4 &
Mama to DS (5) and DD (2)
Later on, I did have an argument with DH over it, he wasn't "for it" so to speak, but was playing the devil's advocate, I think. Later on, he realized the functions of the foreskin and then instead of just agreeing that it wasn't necessary, he agreed that it was downright damaging.
Anyway, so after that point, I think, he was enthusiastically on board with no circ and is now (slowly) restoring his foreskin. I had a boy 5 months ago and my DS is happily intact.
Glenn 11*09 Joe 4*04 Me & Hubby
Found out what it was and the truth of it and was HORRIFIED. SObbed that whole afternoon.
Brought it up with DH. Three days of sheer marital HELL ensue. Lots of crying, angry silences, and arguing. Bleh. Finally said "Look, here's some research, but there is no damn way I am hurting our baby!" DH saw the light.
Wouldn't you know it, now he's an intactivist who thanks me for protecting our boy and harasses his coworkers who are about to become daddies. Sweet. :
And he's restoring. Wow. Way to accept a long held truth for the horrible lie it is, eh?
Early in my pregnancy with DS (before we knew the gender), I asked DH if we would have a son circumcised and he said "nah, don't see any reason too". I had only heard the myths about intact boys, so I went online to research all the reasons that we should have it done. My research led me straight to this forum and within an hour of reading I had my head pulled out of my and quickly became an intactivist. The fact that I would have circ'd a son out of ignorance, if not for DH's casual "no", has made me more of an intactivist.
Chaotic mama to 5 plus a bonus one on the way.
Mama to intact DS Dec 06 and intact DS May 10......Looking to declutter 2012 items in 2012! (27/2012)
Fast forward 14 years. This time around, I was way more in touch with the whole birthing process - and set about convincing DH2 that hospital births weren't necessary, that OBs weren't necessary, that midwives and birthing centers (our compromise - I'd've loved a homebirth) were perfectly acceptable since the female body has been doing this for thousands of years before our medical practice became what it is. We did research (necessary for my DH's brand of crazy LOL) and more research, read Mothering, with me handing him pertinent articles, and he was on board. In the course of all this, the vaccination issue, and the circ issue came up. And with everything we were reading, it was a mutual decision that if this one was a DS (we didn't find out the sex early) there would be no circ. Luckily for us, our Family dr is totally on board with how to handle circ. When he did the first exam, he told us (we already knew, but it was cool) - Don't retract him at all, just let it be, and he'll be fine. : He's also cool with the selective vax track we took. Love this Dr!
Mommy to N , born 2/20/12.
There's no option for "I left it up to him, presented him with the research (plus he'd already done his own) and he decided to leave our son intact."
There was no "agreeing" with me about it because I didn't have to "convince" him of anything.
We had a brief discussion about the pros and cons of circumcision and he pointed out that most of the pro's were honestly rather silly. But since neither of us had strong feelings either way we decide the default was inaction so no cir.
When we were pregnant w/ our first in 2002, whom we didn't know until birth that we were having a dd, I did all the researching & decided there'd be no circ'ing. I don't recall Dh saying anything about it one way or another, just kind of nodding & going along w/ what I said.
When we had our 2nd child at home, who ended up being a boy, there was no discussion either.
W/ our third, I've become a raging intactivist after an utterly disappointing exchange w/ his family member who had two boys 1.5 weeks before my 3rd was born. I've sent him a few videos, the ones that describe the function of the foreskin & I think now that he knows what he's missing, he feels a little more strongly about it. Mostly though, I think he won't let himself feel too strongly about it for all the reasons men react the way they do to circ: too painful to think that this was done to him. He has lots of issues w/ his mother & I think this is just another really painful thing for him.
He is a fan of some political guy who apparently is very outspoken when it comes to parents treating their children poorly in public. In the past, dh has said it's none of my business if people circ, to which I say I completely disagree for all the obvious reasons. I asked him what the difference between me trying to speak out for babies & this guy is. He said he wasn't quite sure.
Barbara: an always learning SAHM of Ilana (11) and Aiden (8) living in Belgium with my amazing husband.