If you regret circumcising your son(s), please post here. - Page 19 - Mothering Forums

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Old 02-11-2010, 07:39 AM
 
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I regret it so much. At that time, because of my ignorance and lack of information I thought that it "just cutting a lil' piece of skin of", something similar to piercing a girl's ears or so... (Damn! why somebody did not talk me out of it...).
After I saw videos of a procedure, read some information about it (and this horrifying circumstraint device too...) it made me so scared... to the point of being sick.

Now every time I change a diaper or see my son naked I remind it and getting anxious, annoyed, scared and bitter. He smiling to me and I'm thinking: "how could I allow to hurt you so bad, my dear angel"...
Why my mother's instinct did not work... ?
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Old 02-11-2010, 12:58 PM
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Originally Posted by yara1 View Post
I regret it so much. At that time, because of my ignorance and lack of information I thought that it "just cutting a lil' piece of skin of", something similar to piercing a girl's ears or so... (Damn! why somebody did not talk me out of it...).
After I saw videos of a procedure, read some information about it (and this horrifying circumstraint device too...) it made me so scared... to the point of being sick.

Now every time I change a diaper or see my son naked I remind it and getting anxious, annoyed, scared and bitter. He smiling to me and I'm thinking: "how could I allow to hurt you so bad, my dear angel"...
Why my mother's instinct did not work... ?
I'm so sorry, mama (HUGS)
My son is intact, but I feel the very same guilt about having him partually vaccinated before I started researching the subject (currently I'm four years into researching the subject). Like you I feel like I horribly failed him, I wish someone could talk be out of it at the time, i wish if I could only go back... My daughter is 100% vaccine free and it did help me to heal emotionally. All I can do now is educate other people on the matter as well as educating my kids when they are older so they do better with their little ones.
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Old 02-11-2010, 08:29 PM
 
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Originally Posted by yara1 View Post
I regret it so much. At that time, because of my ignorance and lack of information I thought that it "just cutting a lil' piece of skin of", something similar to piercing a girl's ears or so... (Damn! why somebody did not talk me out of it...).
After I saw videos of a procedure, read some information about it (and this horrifying circumstraint device too...) it made me so scared... to the point of being sick.

Now every time I change a diaper or see my son naked I remind it and getting anxious, annoyed, scared and bitter. He smiling to me and I'm thinking: "how could I allow to hurt you so bad, my dear angel"...
Why my mother's instinct did not work... ?
Miss Yara:

I don't think it was that your mother's instinct did not work. Try not to beat yourself up about this! Many doctors make it sound like this is just a routine medical procedure, even beneficial because they claim it prevents cancer and STDs, though there is lots of evidence to counter this claim as well. I don't think any mother who makes this decision should feel guilty because our society really supports circumcision as the "right" thing to do in many instances, even though it's becoming much less and less common--thank God.

Had I not heard about the horrors of circumcision from other men prior to even becoming pregnant, I am not sure I would've even thought to research this topic. I don't know if it would have entered my mind at all. I just feel lucky that I did hear about this before my son was born. If my son feels differently when he grows up, he can make the decision about what to do with his penis himself.

Hugs to all of you who are feeling pain about your decision.

~Bisou
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Old 03-12-2010, 08:56 AM
 
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I am so thankful to have found this thread.

My wife and I had our first child, a boy, nine days ago. Tomorrow morning, we have an appointment scheduled for his circumcision. I always thought that my son would be circumcised, that the health benefits were huge and he would "look like dad." Then I decided to research it at the last minute. My wife has left the decision entirely up to me.

I choose to keep my son intact. He was made perfect just the way he is.

Thanks again and God bless to all.
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Old 03-12-2010, 12:33 PM
 
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Proud Daddy,

Congratulations on the birth of your son! I am so beyond glad to hear of your decision and very glad you stumbled upon this thread...talk about in the nick of time! Big kudos to you for researching the topic when your wife left the decision up to you. So many men stop and make the decision based off the "look like daddy" impulse. I am so glad that you went the extra mile, and now your son will be spared! My DH is circ'd, but our son is intact. His first impulse when I brought it up around 20 weeks was "of course he will be circ'd," but like you, he was open-minded, we did the research together and decided to leave him intact (and ours was sort of in the nick of time too...we were still undecided in the hospital, and told the doc to do it. *cringe* luckily, our doc wanted us to wait for a week or 2 after birth and have it done in his office. By that time, we were both intactivists and said NO!)

Again and congratulations!

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Old 03-12-2010, 12:54 PM
 
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I am so thankful to have found this thread.

My wife and I had our first child, a boy, nine days ago. Tomorrow morning, we have an appointment scheduled for his circumcision. I always thought that my son would be circumcised, that the health benefits were huge and he would "look like dad." Then I decided to research it at the last minute. My wife has left the decision entirely up to me.

I choose to keep my son intact. He was made perfect just the way he is.

Thanks again and God bless to all.
Wow! If it saved one baby boy his foreskin, what an amazing thing!

I too am in the "I did but seriously regret it" group. I didn't know any better but I sure do now. When asked if I'd do it again I emphatically tell them that I could have 15 more boys and everyone of them will be left intact. I hate that my perfect boy was not. Not only for the long-term reasons but the procedure and recovery were traumatic for us both.

Kelly, wife to J and mama to our precious A, HE'S 5! and the parasite will emerge on or before Sept 24, 2010!
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Old 03-12-2010, 04:48 PM
 
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I'm not pregnant (yet) and we have a daughter, but I had always thought if we had a son we'd circumcise, because my husband is, it's what both sides do, etc, you know the story.

Well, that's changed completely. I watched one of the links provided here today, I couldn't even finish it. I literally got light headed and sick to my stomach, and I can take seeing medical procedures, it was just knowing what they were doing to that poor defenseless baby and hearing that baby scream.

It's bothered me all day, I can't get it out of my head and still makes me feel sick. Bottom line: if we have a boy next time around, he's staying intact. Period. I haven't even talked to my husband about it, but that's moot, I can always sway him to my side even when he balks and this would be no different. Besides, if he watches that video, I know he'll change his mind too.

So thanks. Another boy saved...providing that's what we have next time that is.
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Old 03-13-2010, 07:34 AM
 
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Proud Daddy:

I want to echo the words of others and say congratulations on your new baby boy, and also how great it is that you made such a wonderful, carefully considered decision for him! Like you said, he is made perfect just the way he is!

For people to think that the natural way millions of boys are born around the world each year could be harmful to their health is illogical. Heck, if we want to prevent men from getting STDs, we could just cut off penises entirely. Circumcision, though much less extreme than a complete "penisectomy," is equally as illogical.

Besides, I always fall back on the thought that if my son (or any uncircumcised male) decides when he is older that he hates being uncircumcised for whatever reason, he can make that decision himself about his own body. But I think that by that time, with circumcision rates dropping, so many males will be intact that it would seem like a very odd thing to do. Someday people will look back on this medical procedure as an oddity and wonder how people could have ever done this routinely!
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Old 03-13-2010, 07:47 AM
 
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Hi Brittney:

Like Yara, don't blame yourself! The negative aspects of circumcision aren't widely discussed in our culture, and on top of this, we see doctors as authority figures, which can make us do things we might not do otherwise.

When I was in the hospital with my son, all sorts of things were done to me (an episiotomy, even though I said I didn't want one) and him (formula bottle feeding, against my wishes) that I completely disagreed with, and even fought, but I basically felt forced to comply with what they were saying. They even threatened to put my son in the NICU and make me go home without him if I wouldn't give him a bottle of formula because his blood sugar was low. When our pediatrician looked at his blood sugar levels later, after we had come home from the hospital, she said they had completely overreacted and he didn't need a bottle after all. Medical professionals can sometimes be extremely authoritarian (NOT all of them, but some, and especially in certain hospitals where it can seem almost epidemic!), making us believe they are in charge and we must do as they say or else!

On top of that, being in the hospital for whatever reason is a vulnerable position to be in, and being a new mother is especially a vulnerable time. We are excited, scared, exhausted, and a whole long list of conflicting and complicated emotions. It's no wonder that when presented with an idea many people haven't considered much ("Will he be circumcised?") that one could simply think, "Well, all men are circumcised, right? And besides, the doctor wouldn't suggest this if it was potentially harmful or unnecessary." Then we just go along with what is suggested.

We simply need more education of the general public and more doctors who are willing to refuse to do this procedure or at least honestly discuss the risks and drawbacks with parents, explaining that it's basically cosmetic surgery and not necessary. I doubt that the majority of parents presented with that sort of information would make that decision lightly!
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Old 03-14-2010, 12:02 AM
 
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Big hug for you, mama.
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Old 03-14-2010, 12:13 AM
 
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He was 19, I was 20. I asked 'what do you think we should do?' he said 'circumcise him because I was and am fine with it' and that was the end of it. If only I had researched that one thing, I looked up everything else.... He didn't have to watch what they did to my baby, every time I think about it I get this pit in my stomach still and our little ones coming up on his 3rd birthday. We are trying for our second child, if it's a boy this time I will know better. I wonder what I will tell him when he's bigger, 'I'm sorry' is the only thing I could think of....
I think sorry is a wonderful thing to tell him.

 
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Old 03-14-2010, 12:32 AM
 
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He was 19, I was 20. I asked 'what do you think we should do?' he said 'circumcise him because I was and am fine with it' and that was the end of it. If only I had researched that one thing, I looked up everything else.... He didn't have to watch what they did to my baby, every time I think about it I get this pit in my stomach still and our little ones coming up on his 3rd birthday. We are trying for our second child, if it's a boy this time I will know better. I wonder what I will tell him when he's bigger, 'I'm sorry' is the only thing I could think of....
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Old 04-11-2010, 12:52 AM
 
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I have to say, I am happy to have found this thread. I am 7 months pregnant with my first boy. I never really thought about circumcision before, since I never needed to. My sisters circumcised all their sons, 3 sons each. I never questioned. It was just something mothers chose to do. I always felt deep inside that it seemed cruel, even with the thinking that it was just a piece of extra skin.

Now that I am having a boy, the fear of circumcision has been haunting me. I somehow, even without real background information felt that it was wrong. A girlfriend asked me if I would circumcise, I said that I didn't know. She told me that her husband was circumcised and he was adamant that they would NOT do that to their son. That he was very angry that it was done to him. This made me wonder... why would he feel that way? I told her that my hubby would probably want to have our son done because he was done. She said that although it was a choice, albeit one that we shouldn’t have, she respected mine but would not do it and did not do it to her son.

This led to my need to educate myself on just what this procedure entailed... and not just that.... what the foreskin was all about. It couldn't just be "extra skin".

I have to say that after reading this thread, I was convinced that I would not do that to our son. I had a talk with hubby before I read this site. He said all the things circumcised men are trained to think. He asked me how I would put up with "cleaning" it and how I would explain to our son why he was different. He said he was fine and didn't miss his foreskin. I let him talk. I told him that these things were all myths. This much I knew.

On easter, we were at my in-laws. Funny enough, my father in law gave me an article he saved out of the paper. It was on circumcision... against it. I was a little confused at first. I thought he would be for it, they chose that for their son. He said he didn’t know any of that stuff when they had their son. He told me to think about it. I gave it to hubby to read, he said, well... whatever you decide baby I will support you. What a wonderful husband I have.

Still I needed more info even though I was pretty sure I wasn’t going to do that to my baby. Then I found this site and was convinced. I sent the info over to hubby to read. Then I asked him... "Do you miss your foreskin yet?" He said "yes I do.. I had no idea that foreskin was so important" We both agreed that we are not going to mutilate our baby.

Today I decided against my better judgment to watch the video. Not good. I could only get through 50 seconds of it and then I began to sob uncontrollably to the point of almost vomiting. Ignorance in this case may be bliss!!!

I have never been so traumatized and I have seen many things. I cannot believe that all of my nephews and my husband have gone through that procedure. I am shocked and deeply saddened. I am having a very difficult time getting even those 50 seconds out of my head. If I had to watch that video after I made that decision I would be forever regretful and a part of me would die inside. I am not sure that I would ever be able to forgive myself. I believe our society should stop hiding behind ignorance and be forced to be accountable for our actions. We should make it a mandatory requirement that all mothers and fathers watch that video with full sound before they are allowed to elect to circumcise. They will stop using the pretty euphemistic word circumcision and start calling it what it really is "elective mutilation" which really hardly conveys the torture these tiny innocent beautiful babies are forced to endure.

The irony I can't get over is that in a predominately patriarchal society such as our own, men would consent to such things being done to THEM, and would allow this to occur through generations? Even more ironic is that women are trying to stop this and are forced to fight their more dominant male counterpart to end the barbaric treatment and suffering of themselves by themselves!!!

I am so happy that I was strong enough to question the status quo. Lucky for me I have never been much of a follower.

I feel very...very sorry for all the mothers out there who were bullied and misguided. To have to live with that decision is a very tough thing to deal with.

When my daughter was 10 months old, I brought her to the paediatrician for a routine check-up. I had no complaints at that time; my daughter was perfect and healthy. The doc looked her over and checked this and that. Then she looked into her diaper. She looked for all of about 3 seconds then said, stand here I will be right back. When she came back into the room she had something in her hand. She motioned me out of the way and proceeded to stick this utensil into my daughter’s vagina. I had no idea what she was doing. My baby girl cried for about 4 seconds, but I was shocked. I looked at her in horror. She tried to tell me that my daughter’s vaginal opening was closing and she needed to reopen it before it sealed shut!!!!!

WHAT????? What was she talking about? I am perfectly familiar with the female anatomy and there is no way in hell that my daughter’s vagina was adhering to itself. I am aware that this does occur on occasion with little girls but this was definitely not that case with my daughter. What this woman did was take a crochet like hook and cut my daughters hymen!!! It all happened so fast and she didn’t even get permission!!!! I was shocked and bewildered. It took months for me to get over what had happened that day. I felt so much that she had violated my daughter. It sickened me that I now had to inform the daycare of what she did because I was afraid that they might think something far worse had occurred in my home!!!

I understand what it feels like to have the medical profession feel like they are entitled to perform things without consent!!! They don’t even think twice about it.

We need to stand up for ourselves, our children and our bodies!!! To do this we must learn to question the status quo and educate ourselves, even when we respect the source of popular information!

I want to thank every single person who posted on this website. You ARE making a difference!!!!!
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Old 04-11-2010, 02:26 AM
 
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Hi Surprised Mommy:

What a GREAT posting! I, too, tried to watch a circ video just to see what it was all about, and I couldn't make it through either. It made me literally sick and just completely depressed and sad. I honestly can't understand how doctors can do this procedure on a regular basis!

I also had to comment about what happened to your daughter. Something similar happened to me when I was a baby. The doctor told my mom that something was "growing closed," then proceeded to take a scalpel and cut my genitals without any pain medicine. My mom said the doctor had a nurse hold my legs down while I screamed and cried.

There is this attitude that some doctors have that they are "in charge" and you must go along with everything they have in mind. I know my mom has been really scarred by several medical procedures that were done to me as a child that seemed really violent and painful (another included them holding me upside down, again with multiple people involved, trying to get blood out of my neck because they were having a hard time drawing it elsewhere), and she felt like she had no ability to say no or go against the doctor's wishes. I also had an experience during childbirth of the doctor forcing me to have an episiotomy even though I was saying "No! I don't want one!" She just said, "I am DOING an episiotomy!"

I know not all doctors have this mindset, but what's up with them thinking that they know better and we are just a bunch of uninformed idiots who don't know what's good for ourselves? We should be able to make decisions about our bodies and our children's bodies (as far as protecting them from unnecessary pain and procedures, not vice versa!).

Back to the topic of circumcision, it's always SOOOO exciting to see that another parent has chosen NOT to circumcise. What a wonderful choice you've made for your son!

I also agree with you that it does seem completely odd that so many men are the ones fighting for this to continue, in many cases. A man once gave me an interesting explanation for this though, saying it was too painful for men to admit that something so horrific and unfair was done to them as babies, so they just push that back in their minds, almost subconsciously, and try to justify it by the explanations we've all heard. (It looks weird. It is gross. It's unclean. People will make fun of them. They will get cancer/STDS. Etc.)

FYI, it sounds like you probably already know this since you are doing research, but you DON'T have to clean your intact son's penis under the foreskin. The skin doesn't even retract naturally until they are older. My son is almost five, and his foreskin hasn't retracted yet, and when it does, he will be plenty old enough to take care of any cleaning on his own.

It's totally healthy, and once you're used to it, there isn't anything "weird" looking about it. One day, hopefully soon, normal penises will actually look just that: NORMAL, the way nature intended!!!!!!!

Yay for people reading this thread and having it help them make the decision NOT to circ!

I agree that all parents should have to read this information and/or watch that video before consenting to circ their sons!!!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by surprisedmommy View Post
I have to say, I am happy to have found this thread. I am 7 months pregnant with my first boy. I never really thought about circumcision before, since I never needed to. My sisters circumcised all their sons, 3 sons each. I never questioned. It was just something mothers chose to do. I always felt deep inside that it seemed cruel, even with the thinking that it was just a piece of extra skin.

Now that I am having a boy, the fear of circumcision has been haunting me. I somehow, even without real background information felt that it was wrong. A girlfriend asked me if I would circumcise, I said that I didn't know. She told me that her husband was circumcised and he was adament that they would NOT do that to their son. That he was very angry that it was done to him. This made me wonder... why would he feel that way? I told her that my hubby would probably want to have our son done because he was done. She said that although it was a choice, albeit one that we shouldnt have, she respected mine but would not do it and did not do it to her son.

This led to my need to educate myself on just what this procedure entailed... and not just that.... what the foreskin was all about. It couldn't just be "extra skin".

I have to say that after reading this thread, I was convinced that I would not do that to our son. I had a talk with hubby before I read this site. He said all the things circumcised men are trained to think. He asked me how I would put up with "cleaning" it and how I would explain to our son why he was different. He said he was fine and didn't miss his foreskin. I let him talk. I told him that these things were all myths. This much I knew.

On easter, we were at my in-laws. Funny enough, my father in law gave me an article he saved out of the paper. It was on circumcision... against it. I was a little confused at first. I thought he would be for it, they chose that for their son. He said he didnt know any of that stuff when they had their son. He told me to think about it. I gave it to hubby to read, he said, well... whatever you decide baby I will support you. What a wonderful husband I have.

Still I needed more info even though I was pretty sure I wasnt going to do that to my baby. Then I found this site and was convinced. I sent the info over to hubby to read. Then I asked him... "do you miss your foreskin yet?" He said "yes I do.. I had no idea that foreskin was so important" We both agreed that we are not going to mutilate our baby.

Today I decided against my better judgment to watch the video. Not good. I could only get through 50 seconds of it and then I began to sob uncontrollably to the point of almost vomitting. Ignorance in this case may be bliss!!!

I have never been so traumatized and I have seen many things. I can not believe that all of my nephews and my husband have gone through that procedure. I am shocked and deeply saddened. I am having a very difficult time getting even that 50 seconds out of my head. If I had to watch that video after I made that decision I would be forever regretful and a part of me would die inside. I am not sure that I would ever be able to forgive myself. I believe our society should stop hiding behind ignorance and be forced to be accountable for our actions. We should make it a mandatory requirment that all mothers and fathers watch that video with full sound before they are allowed to elect to circumcise. They will stop using the pretty euphamatic word circumcision and start calling it what it really is "elective mutilation" which really hardly conveys the torture these tiny innocent beautiful babies are forced to endure.

The irony I can't get over is that in a predominately patriarchal society such as our own, men would consent to such things being done to THEM, and would allow this to occur through generations? Even more ironic is that women are trying to stop this and are forced to fight their more dominant male counterpart to end the barbaric treatment and suffering of themselves!!!

I am so happy that I was strong enough to question the status quo. Lucky for me I have never been much of a follower.

I feel very...very sorry for all the mothers out there who were bullied and misguided. To have to live with that decision is a very tough thing to deal with.

When my daughter was 10 months old, I brought her to the paeditrician for a routine checkup. I had no complaints at that time, my daughter was perfect and healthy. The doc looked her over and checked this and that. Then she looked into her diaper. She looked for all of about 3 seconds then said, stand here I will be right back. When she came back into the room she had something in her hand. She motioned me out of the way and proceeded to stick this utensil into my daughters vagina. I had no idea what she was doing. My baby girl cried for about 4 seconds, but I was shocked. I looked at her in horror. She tried to tell me that my daughters vaginal opening was closing and she needed to reopen it before it sealed shut!!!!!

WHAT????? What was she talking about. I am perfectly familiar with the female anatomy and there is no way in hell that my daughters vagina was adhering to itself. I am aware that this does occur on occasion with little girls but this was definitely not that case with my daughter. What this woman did was take a crochet like hook and cut my daughers hymen!!! It all happened so fast and she didnt even get permission!!!! I was shocked and bewildered. It took months for me to get over what had happened that day. I felt so much that she had violated my daughter. It sickened me that I now had to inform the daycare of what she did because I was afraid that they might think something far worse had occured in my home!!!

I understand what it feels like to have the medical profession feel like they are entitled to perform things without consent!!! They dont even think twice about it.

We need to stand up for ourselves, our children and our bodies!!! To do this we must learn to question the status quo and educate ourselves, even when we respect the source of popular information!

I want to thank every single person who posted on this website. You ARE making a difference!!!!!
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Old 04-11-2010, 05:33 AM
 
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Hi Bisou,

Thanks for your post! It is very sad that men continue to perpetuate the cycle of violence against them if only to justify the horrific events that cause them such subconscious emotional grief.

There were quite a few things that I was aware of before venturing into my educational pursuit. I was aware that the penis was self cleaning and needed no extra care, I was aware that the foreskin was attached to the glans and did not retract for years and was not supposed to be forcefully retracted and I was aware that the procedure was considered "cosmetic" and was mostly done to babies without anaesthesia!!!

What I was not aware of was the procedure itself.. how it was done or how disgustingly cruel it was. I was not completely educated on the foreskin itself, other than the protective value of the glans. I had no idea that it was rich in nerves and blood vessels and that it was as sensitive as a woman’s clitoris. I did not know that removing it could reduce a man’s size by up to or more than 25 percent. I did not know that removing it was the cause of numerous disfigurements including bending and/or restriction of the penis... and much more.

I was aware of accidental cauterizations of the entire penis or the glans... this scared the s@#$ out of me.

Although I am forever saddened by that video and feel a burning sensation in my throat every time the image and sound pop into my head, I am glad that I put myself through that because I do not believe that ignorance is bliss. I believe that we should not hide behind our fear to face reality and make INFORMED decisions.. and by that I mean research every possible angle not just the one that best suits what you hear the most or want to believe.

I hope that soon we will have advocates and lobbyists on every corner fighting as hard against circumcision as they do the death penalty and abortion or even cruelty to animals. Come to think of it... PETA would never stand for routine circumcision of animals... we would consider that "inhumane" ... just not when it’s done by humans to humans I guess!

hmm... I am sure that we could probably get the procedure abolished in CANADA if we brought a charter argument all the way to the SUPREME COURT OF CANADA!!!! It most definitely violates the rights of male babies!!
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Old 04-11-2010, 04:32 PM
 
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Hi Surprised Mommy:

Yes, like you, when I was pregnant with my son, I was 90% sure I wasn't going to circumcise, but I decided to investigate it anyway. When I really learned about it, I was just horrified that ANYONE would do that if they really knew what was going on. How can the medical profession go along with this? It's just shocking.

I can't imagine deciding to have my child circumcised, then have a large portion of his penis accidentally cut off! How would any parent live with the guilt? While I know this isn't extremely common, the idea of that even being a remote possibility for something that was completely unnecessary just seemed ridiculous to me.

Another thing that seems crazy is that there is really little to no education of parents before the procedure. They just ask parents if they want to do it or not, no explanation given. People just think, "Well, this is what everyone does, so I guess so!"

It would be great if ALL parents were as thoughtful as you and had as good critical thinking skills as you do!

With our two sons, if nothing else, there are two less boys going through this.

~Bisou


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Originally Posted by surprisedmommy View Post
Hi Bisou,

Thanks for your post! It is very sad that men continue to perpetuate the cycle of violence against them if only to justify the horrific events that cause them such subconscious emotional grief.

There were quite a few things that I was aware of before venturing into my educational pursuit. I was aware that the penis was self cleaning and needed no extra care, I was aware that the foreskin was attached to the glans and did not retract for years and was not supposed to be forcefully retracted and I was aware that the procedure was considered "cosmetic" and was mostly done to babies without anaesthesia!!!

What I was not aware of was the procedure itself.. how it was done or how disgustingly cruel it was. I was not completely educated on the foreskin itself, other than the protective value of the glans. I had no idea that it was rich in nerves and blood vessels and that it was as sensitive as a woman’s clitoris. I did not know that removing it could reduce a man’s size by up to or more than 25 percent. I did not know that removing it was the cause of numerous disfigurements including bending and/or restriction of the penis... and much more.

I was aware of accidental cauterizations of the entire penis or the glans... this scared the s@#$ out of me.

Although I am forever saddened by that video and feel a burning sensation in my throat every time the image and sound pop into my head, I am glad that I put myself through that because I do not believe that ignorance is bliss. I believe that we should not hide behind our fear to face reality and make INFORMED decisions.. and by that I mean research every possible angle not just the one that best suits what you hear the most or want to believe.

I hope that soon we will have advocates and lobbyists on every corner fighting as hard against circumcision as they do the death penalty and abortion or even cruelty to animals. Come to think of it... PETA would never stand for routine circumcision of animals... we would consider that "inhumane" ... just not when it’s done by humans to humans I guess!

hmm... I am sure that we could probably get the procedure abolished in CANADA if we brought a charter argument all the way to the SUPREME COURT OF CANADA!!!! It most definitely violates the rights of male babies!!
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Old 04-27-2010, 09:54 PM
 
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Old 05-21-2010, 05:19 PM
 
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This thread is one of the most powerful pieces out there against circumcision.

Bumping.
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Old 05-28-2010, 04:23 PM
 
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Dear all, I wouldn’t normally comment on things like this however I feel so strongly about this subject I thought I would. As a fully grown man of 28 I managed to get through life with a fully intact penis and have never had anything go wrong so please ignore those wives tales they really are not true. My father is circumcised so I’m surprised I made it fully intact. From reading this site it seems as though most people are from the states. I’m British and it is not the norm to circumcise in this country or the rest of Europe for that matter. My point to this is one thing I hope expectant mothers will think about. I hope I’m right in saying you would have to pay for your hospital treatment in the US so just think about it this way; adding a circumcision will add extra money to the company that runs the hospital in effect its like walking into Burger King and being asked if you would like to go large on that? Its all extra money for the hospital, is it worth changing that beautiful son of yours that you have created to line the pockets of these people? And please remember its not yours to change, give your little guy the basic right to make his mind up later in life if he wants it done it can be later on.
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Old 05-30-2010, 01:59 AM
 
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sorry triple post - please delete
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Old 05-30-2010, 02:02 AM
 
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sorry triple post - please delete
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Old 05-30-2010, 02:04 AM
 
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HELP, ADVICE & THOUGHTS NEEDED.


I am reposting my story because I want to expand on my thoughts and because I continue to have guilt that is eating me up inside. It is very hard.

I regret allowing this to be done to my son more than I regret anything in my entire life. I knew that I was not comfortable with the thought of having my son circ'd and I even researched it a bit. Decided I didn't want to do it. I've even had an ex bf that was intact so I knew the difference unlike so many other women who circ their babies. AND YET, I allowed it to be done. How is that for a bad mother :'(

Why did I allow it?
DH wanted son to look like him, said HE wasn't traumitized by it, said it would get infected yada yada. I gave him pages of very good info about why it was wrong and harmful. We took a child birth class and DH asked the lady about circ and she said "intact kids tend to get infections". I was po'd as that did not help my case with DH as she was a nurse and someone who "should" know about these things.

Anyway, I went into labor almost 2 weeks before my supposed due date. So we never came to an agreement before the birth. The Dr who was going to do it came in. Both DH and I sat him down to ask questions. He was very mean to me. Even DH thought so. I had just given birth, was hormonal and hadn't slept much in 3 days and this jerk had me almost in tears. He told me his 1st 2 sons were circ'd and had issues and had to be re-done. Because of this they left the 3rd son intact. But, he ended up having to be circ'd too due to a horrible infection which is common in intact males. He said that either way you can't win. He told me that the birth was very traumatic to my son...more so than a circ. - even though it was a smooth, uncomplicated and epi free birth. He also asked my husband and I...."how are you going to agree on big things later in life if you cant even agree on one little thing now?!!!!" He said that we could wait if that's what we felt we had to do and come back in a week OR we could get it over with. So I signed the paper....and hid in the bathroom and cried. Spineless. My DH said he heard son cry but it didn't take long and when they brought him back he nursed. The dr said he did it "loose" for us. What that means I'm still not quite sure? I hate that dr. he knew I didn't want it. He should have INSISTED we wait until we were 100% and not done it til then! But, it's not his problem yanno! And hey lets not forget the cash burning a hole in his pocket!

Every time I changed my son I felt horrible. Cried. Had anxiety for a long time. I still do at times. Esp. since I found out dh didn't really look over the info I gave him like I thought.... And because now he says if he thought I'd take it so hard, he wouldn't have had "that much" of a problem with not getting it done. I could have just said NO!

I feel like a bad mother. He was a day old and I handed him over and *I* knew better. I did not protect him. I was spineless.
And the more I learn and come across anti-circ forums. The more I hate what I allowed.

It's sad and silly but I keep hoping and praying that since it is "loose" it won't be *as bad*, that it will be easier if he wants to restore it and .....even that it will grow back Yea, I know it won't grow back....I just keep thinking it. Please God?

I hope he doesn't grow up and hate me and feel I failed.
I hope he doesn't suffer anything negative from it.
I hope he does not continue this practice on his sons.

So what do I do now? What do I tell him when he is older besides "I'm sorry I failed you"? How do I stop hating myself? What do I do when every time I see his penis I think about how it was perfect and I let it be hacked at and altered? How do I protest against circ and advocate for infant rights when I allowed it to be done to my own son?
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Old 06-11-2010, 07:42 PM
 
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Oh my word... My husband is American and I'm Dutch-Norwegian. Our son was born a year ago in Norway, and my husband wanted him circumcised. I said no way. Plus it is illegal in Norway. Turns out, it isn't illegal, but after seeing a Penn and Teller episode on Circumcision, I decided that I would never, ever, ever let someone harm my son. And after reading a few of these posts, I am so glad I stuck to my guns. I know my husband, even after watching that episode, wants our son to be circumcised, because he wants him to "be like his daddy", but I am firm on my no. If our son, at a later date, decides that he wants to be circumcised, he can have it done as an adult. Yes, there will be pain involved, but no less than if he were a baby, but at least then he'll make the choice of his own, we won't make it for him.

I got given a LOT of grief for it by my in-laws. My father in law (husbands step dad) isn't circumcised, and he said that he had been given a lot of grief from women about it. Honestly, if that is what you base your opinion on, then it is not worth anything to me. And mother in law went the "it's more hygienic" route. I tried explaining to them that that was not true, and got ignored, so went the "whatever"-route with them.

to all who had it done and now regret it. Don't worry about it, what's done is done and make the best of it. At least you know for the future so you can make better informed decisions later and inform family and friends.
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Old 06-11-2010, 08:28 PM
 
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I didn't circumcise my own son, but I was circumcised. It didn't cause any particular problems being cut, but I resent that this operation was done to me without my consent. We had already decided not to cut, but I asked one of my dearest friends one day what he thought about circumcision. Now consider this is a super mellow guy 99% of the time. Well he got red in the face and his voice went up half an octave and doubled in volume as he told me how p!ssed off he was that he too was cut without his consent.

I also believe the high circumcision rate of the 1960s and 1970s and the widespread use of erectile dysfunction remedies is not coincidental.

"I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind. Some come from ahead and some come from behind. But I've bought a big bat. I'm all ready you see. Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!" - Dr. Seuss
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Old 06-11-2010, 11:13 PM
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HELP, ADVICE & THOUGHTS NEEDED.


I am reposting my story because I want to expand on my thoughts and because I continue to have guilt that is eating me up inside. It is very hard.

I regret allowing this to be done to my son more than I regret anything in my entire life. I knew that I was not comfortable with the thought of having my son circ'd and I even researched it a bit. Decided I didn't want to do it. I've even had an ex bf that was intact so I knew the difference unlike so many other women who circ their babies. AND YET, I allowed it to be done. How is that for a bad mother :'(

Why did I allow it?
DH wanted son to look like him, said HE wasn't traumitized by it, said it would get infected yada yada. I gave him pages of very good info about why it was wrong and harmful. We took a child birth class and DH asked the lady about circ and she said "intact kids tend to get infections". I was po'd as that did not help my case with DH as she was a nurse and someone who "should" know about these things.

Anyway, I went into labor almost 2 weeks before my supposed due date. So we never came to an agreement before the birth. The Dr who was going to do it came in. Both DH and I sat him down to ask questions. He was very mean to me. Even DH thought so. I had just given birth, was hormonal and hadn't slept much in 3 days and this jerk had me almost in tears. He told me his 1st 2 sons were circ'd and had issues and had to be re-done. Because of this they left the 3rd son intact. But, he ended up having to be circ'd too due to a horrible infection which is common in intact males. He said that either way you can't win. He told me that the birth was very traumatic to my son...more so than a circ. - even though it was a smooth, uncomplicated and epi free birth. He also asked my husband and I...."how are you going to agree on big things later in life if you cant even agree on one little thing now?!!!!" He said that we could wait if that's what we felt we had to do and come back in a week OR we could get it over with. So I signed the paper....and hid in the bathroom and cried. Spineless. My DH said he heard son cry but it didn't take long and when they brought him back he nursed. The dr said he did it "loose" for us. What that means I'm still not quite sure? I hate that dr. he knew I didn't want it. He should have INSISTED we wait until we were 100% and not done it til then! But, it's not his problem yanno! And hey lets not forget the cash burning a hole in his pocket!

Every time I changed my son I felt horrible. Cried. Had anxiety for a long time. I still do at times. Esp. since I found out dh didn't really look over the info I gave him like I thought.... And because now he says if he thought I'd take it so hard, he wouldn't have had "that much" of a problem with not getting it done. I could have just said NO!

I feel like a bad mother. He was a day old and I handed him over and *I* knew better. I did not protect him. I was spineless.
And the more I learn and come across anti-circ forums. The more I hate what I allowed.

It's sad and silly but I keep hoping and praying that since it is "loose" it won't be *as bad*, that it will be easier if he wants to restore it and .....even that it will grow back Yea, I know it won't grow back....I just keep thinking it. Please God?

I hope he doesn't grow up and hate me and feel I failed.
I hope he doesn't suffer anything negative from it.
I hope he does not continue this practice on his sons.

So what do I do now? What do I tell him when he is older besides "I'm sorry I failed you"? How do I stop hating myself? What do I do when every time I see his penis I think about how it was perfect and I let it be hacked at and altered? How do I protest against circ and advocate for infant rights when I allowed it to be done to my own son?
I am so, so sorry, mama.

I wish I had something to say that I know would comfort you. But I know that horrible feeling of letting a child down, and knowing that you cannot take your mistake back...
All I can say is that, I can tell from reading your post that you are full of love for your lo. A wonderful mama, who is always thinking about what is best for her baby.
Flat out, you made a mistake. This may be a bigger mistake in your eyes, than most others... but for every mistake you have to forgive yourself. If you don't, it will take years from you, and turn, take your ds' mama away from him. Regret and sorrow are natural things to have to go through, but they will eat away at you if you don't overcome them.
Do it for your baby. You may have made one mistake. Let yourself off the hook. Choose to respect yourself. Get over the guilt, and move forward. Leave it behind and don't look back.
You are a very sweet lady, and a loving mama, I can tell. You deserve to let it go. Your baby deserves for his mama to be free from the guilt, and the bondage
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Old 06-15-2010, 04:08 PM
 
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I so wish many more parents read this thread. I am trying my best to get the word out on this thread, so there are no more regrets that parents have to go through looking back.

Its really awful that some women don't get it still. They just look at it through a cosmetic point of view. I mean seriously, are you going to get your son circ'd just coz it doesn't look good??

I read this article ( http://healthmad.com/index.php/Men's...n-Women.541911 ) a long while back about the attitudes of American women towards the foreskin and circumcision and it doesn't surprise me - I have met a lot of women like those mentioned in the article, who just have a callous, irresponsible attitude towards circumcising their male kids.
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Old 06-15-2010, 05:00 PM
 
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I regret it.

I'm Jewish and felt like it was very important, despite the fact that I'm not particularly religious. Now I think I was just being ridiculous.

I know DS is ok and that he'll be fine, but I wish I hadn't done it.
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Old 06-16-2010, 01:20 AM
 
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I read this article ( http://healthmad.com/index.php/Men's...n-Women.541911 ) a long while back about the attitudes of American women towards the foreskin and circumcision and it doesn't surprise me - I have met a lot of women like those mentioned in the article, who just have a callous, irresponsible attitude towards circumcising their male kids.
Attitudes like that disgust me. Who are they to decide what someone else's genitals should look like? If men went around routinely mocking and sneering at the appearance of women's genitals, there would be uproar, but somehow it's okay to do the same to the natural, normal penis?
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Old 06-22-2010, 03:30 AM
 
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Thank you for your reply bluebirdiemama. It helped. I know I need to forgive myself. Just don't know what to say. Sometimes I read posts talking about parents who allow their sons to be circ'd and it is hard.
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Old 06-22-2010, 03:42 AM
 
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Hi Mermaidmama:

Your posting is heartbreaking! I am so sorry you had to go through that. It was hearing stories just like yours from a few of my friends who had children much earlier than I did, among other things, that made me decide not to do it. But I was a single mom, my son's dad had skipped out, so I got to make the decision myself. Even if my son's dad had been around, though, I am sure he wouldn't have insisted on circ because he wasn't circumcised either!

I have dated two uncircumcised guys and neither of them had any kind of infection of any kind, EVER. That kind of logic just baffles me. Any part of your body can get infected! Should we cut off fingers, toes, and noses just because someday they might possibly get infected? Do we cut off all breasts because some women get breast cancer? That doesn't make sense. (And I am not speaking to you here, AT ALL, just to that idea that a penis is some kind of super disease- and infection-prone organ. It's just such a silly idea.)

I am so sorry that you are feeling so much pain about what you and your son went through, and it's unfortunate that now, after the fact, your spouse is saying it wasn't really a big deal.

And that doctor sounds like a HUGE #&&%$$! Who is he to come in and pressure you during such a stressful, exhausting time? Seriously, so many doctors are so arrogant and pretentious, it's just terrible.

If you are worried about how your son will feel when he is older, I would save some of what you've written about this for him so he can know your true feelings about it. You might share it if the subject ever came up, but maybe not if he didn't bring it up? I don't know. I am sure you will know what is right when the time comes.

Big hug for you!
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