I just don't get it - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 9 Old 02-03-2004, 12:27 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Why do people insist on circ'ing? I mean comeon, it just frustrates me, angers me, and just makes me want to go into a rage. I seriously want to kill someone right now, cept no one is home, lol.

I just got done talking to the girl who i gave the circ video to, and her sister was over, and they were gonna watch the video, and her sister started the video, but since she is computer retarded, she fast forwarded to the middle of it, then i guess screamed, yelled (whatever you wanna call it ) and then closed the video. Earlier she said she's gonna circ, but she has no reason for it. And now, they had to go, and i was tlking ot them on aim, and i couldn't find out if she changed her mind, although i highly doubt it. Were talking a very, very mainstream family here. The girl is bringing back the cd tomorrow so that i can give it to a co-worker who is pregnant, but her sister won't watch it. She just ran downstairs, and it just kills me to know that she wants to circ. I really appreciate that the girl whoi gave the cd too is so open minded about this, and her and i talk about it in class and i mean how many highschool kids do you know who would actually discuss circ like this and have her sister watch the video but since she's bringing it back i feel like there's no hope now,and she
didn't want to mention circ to her sister after the video cuz her dad was there, and it just woulnd't have been appropraite i guess you could say. I just know that since they're so conservative/mainstream that she will prolly circ, i mean she doesn't even know what it is really, and uhh it just pisses me off.

I mean i try so f*cking hard, and i put hours and hours into this, and i feel like it's not getting anywhere. I'm working on getting Photoshop so i can make logos and stuff for my site, and scripts for it so that i can put it up in a couple of months, but i just tried so hard and i'm almost 100% sure she will circ. Plus even if she doesn't want to cuz of that video, i think her b/f wants to, and i know her parents will want to, and i just feel that she won't be able tohandle the pressure and that she will give in.

Well sorry for posting this sh*t, it's jsut that i'm so enraged right now i could seriously kill the next person i see. Just feels like i'm getting nowhere. F*ck


Sorry
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#2 of 9 Old 02-03-2004, 12:49 AM
 
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Oh, I understand you completely! I knew this girl who was pregnant, she was already 25, and her mother was from Europe, and I thought I would give them this really convincing article. They took it and said they both read it and thanked me for it.

Two months later I found out from the mother that the baby was born and circumcised the next day. Grrrrrrrrrr....

I asked the mother why??????????? After all, she knows men in Europe and all the men in her family are intact? She said it's what the gilr's husband wanted.

Although I was totally frustrated, I don't give up. I pass out my business cards whenever I see a chance. On it I printed some web sites that I find most informative. And I do hope some of the cards plant a little seed... Who knows.

But I feel like you lots and lots of times.... Just hang in there!
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#3 of 9 Old 02-03-2004, 05:08 AM
 
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I was just having the circ/no circ discussion with my husband tonight. We have a 3 yro ds I'm proud to say is intact! The subject came up because I've been taking care of a friend's baby who is not quite 4 months old. I told my husband it seem so weird and unnatural to me when I change the baby's diaper and see him circ'd. I'm sad for him.

I have another friend who has a (nearly) 5yro son who was circ, but they botched it and he's now having to have another surgery to try to "correct" it. Poor kid.

I agonized over the decision when I was pregnant - and got many opinions on the matter. The thing was that first and foremost, I couldn't begin to imagine putting my precious babe through such an ordeal. Secondly, I have always said that if I ever had a dog like a Great Dane or a Dobie, I would never have the ears trimmed. I always felt like they are that way upon birth so that's obviously the way they were meant to be. So if I felt this way about dogs, there was no way I could have less respect for my son! Thirdly, and least important to me were other people's opinions. I thought they were important until I realized that not one person could provide a good, solid reason to do it.

To this day, I am absolutely positive we made the right choice. In my opinion there was no other choice to make!!!

Hang in there! Mainstream is hard to change - it's easier for people to follow the rest of the herd than to head in another direction!

peaceful wishes,
heidi:bf
momma to ds michael 2-11-01
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#4 of 9 Old 02-03-2004, 03:03 PM
 
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Quote:
Secondly, I have always said that if I ever had a dog like a Great Dane or a Dobie, I would never have the ears trimmed. I always felt like they are that way upon birth so that's obviously the way they were meant to be. So if I felt this way about dogs, there was no way I could have less respect for my son!
Exactly! My sister and her fiance bought a boxer and she refused to have the dog's ears done because it was "painful" "unnecessary" "unnatural" etc. Yet she is 100% pro-circumcision. Makes NO sense to me at all... I guess her dog is more important than her (future) son.
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#5 of 9 Old 02-03-2004, 04:06 PM
 
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: Wow, it's a weird world sometimes. Maybe she's just uncomfortable with stepping out of the norm? That - he should look the same as his daddy cop out. I can tell you my son doesn't look like his daddy and he's never even mentioned it! We're not terribly concerned about nudity around our son, but he has never once made comment about our differences. The only thing he's ever mentioned is that mine is missing!! We want him to be proud of his body and be proud that we took his feelings into consideration and chose to leave him intact.

Ooops! Got to go!
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#6 of 9 Old 02-03-2004, 06:30 PM
 
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Eric, it is really enraging and really frustrating. I was so pissed when I found out my SIL and BIL circed their baby to look like daddy - without doing 5 minutes of research. I gave them a couple of articles and Dr. Fleiss' book this time around and they had a girl. Whew, what a relief, but how sad for their baby that they didn't take 5 minutes to research!

Of course, if they had researched, esp. on a mainstream site or in a mainstream book, they probably still would have circed - because it's cleaner, there's hardly any complications, blah blah blah all that BS.

My point is, this is so ingrained culturally, and it is the mainstream in so many places that you really are swimming upstream to try to get through to people.

I also think that although it makes NO sense, people don't want to think about their babies' sex lives. They don't want to associate babies and sex in the same thought process, KWIM? So you say "it will take away sexual sensitivity" and they think "my baby is a baby...can't think about baby having sex....ick!" and their brains shut down. It's just another aspect of how screwed up and hung up we are in this country about talking about sex.

Ramble ramble....anyway, you should be proud of yourself for making the effort. You've done what you can, and if you can't save this baby you can and will save others in the future. Your efforts are never wasted, even if they don't always work out the way you want.

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#7 of 9 Old 02-04-2004, 01:59 AM
 
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Heidi:

Something to consider . . . . . .

Imagine that you wanted to have your dog circumcised and managed to find a veternarian who would do it. What do you think would happen?

I suspect that the veternarian would lose his license, you would lose custody of your dog, would be hauled into court for animal abuse and all of your friends would consider you some derranged sexual pervert. Yet the doctor can do it to your son and he gets paid for it and is considered an excellent doctor. You will be considered a good parent and you will get the support of the majority of your friends. How screwed up is that? If it is such a normal and beneficial thing to do, why shouldn't your dog have those benefits as well?





Frank
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#8 of 9 Old 02-04-2004, 07:54 AM
 
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I agree. It is totally infuriating that people dont "get it." Hurt your kid for no reason OR leave them perfect as they were born? I dont een understand how cutting them is an option. It makes ZERO sense to me and I dont get how other people cant see that either!

(for the record I have a boxer, his ears are NOT cropped but his poor tail is......we didnt do it though, he came to us that way )

Desiree

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#9 of 9 Old 02-04-2004, 01:53 PM
 
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Quirky -

Now that you mention the sexual aspect I remember that being part of my consideration for not doing it, but I didn't dwell on it for long for the same reasons you mention. I didn't want to think of my unborn child as a sexual being! I realize that's silly, but it's the honest truth. It was sort of the same way when my nephew told me he was gay. I don't remember my immediate response but it must not have been good because he was hurt and said, "I thought you of all people would understand!" I told him that of course I understood. It wasn't that I was upset that he was homosexual, I was just living in a pretend world where he wasn't any kind of sexual!!! :LOL

Still, my main reason for noncirc was just simply that he was born perfect and would stay that way. It was absolutely the right decision!!!
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