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#31 of 59 Old 10-26-2009, 04:04 PM
 
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My borther was not circed in the early 80's. My mom was a lamaze teacher and I think got quite a bit of info from them. She was also very anti-episiotomy but despite her wishes she got cut for each birth (which makes no sense as we were all born quite quickly with no drugs and would have come out just fine on our own).

My mom's parents were intelectual hippies (liberal arts professors) at a very liberal university so although she is fairly mainstream I imagine her upbringing played into it.

ETA: my mom was also told to retract my brother at every change, bath, etc. She tried to do it to DS bc she didn't know any better. I (wrongly) assumed she was "safe" since my brother wasn't circed.

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#32 of 59 Old 10-26-2009, 04:06 PM
 
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DH is circ'd but I'm pretty sure my brothers intact (at least, thats what I gatherd from my mother when I was researching circ initially after finding out I was having a boy 3 years ago... its not something I've ever actually asked him tbh... we're just not that umm... open? with each other if you kwim. Apparently my parents watched a video of a circumcision and that was all they needed to know to know that they didn't want that for their son.
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#33 of 59 Old 10-26-2009, 04:19 PM
 
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My brothers are intact. As others have mentioned, my parents were hippies so we were born at home, ebf, cloth diapered, co-slept, etc.

Emily, cooking allergen free, knitting, reading, gardening Mom to 1 beautiful girl, born in the water on July 1, 2006 Wife to 1 handsome man since September 10, 2005
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#34 of 59 Old 10-26-2009, 04:25 PM
 
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MIL said that the nurse came to get dh after he was born (1980) and said it was so he could be circ'd and she replied, "Over my dead body. You touch him and I'll sue you." And that was that. She never said why she felt so strongly or what led her to that position, but I'm really glad she did. Apparently the staff didn't give her any trouble after that.
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#35 of 59 Old 10-26-2009, 04:44 PM
 
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My brothers were born in '73 and '79. They were circumcised, but when it came time for me to make that decision for my son she encouraged me to make my own decision but it was clear that she kinda regretted circumcising my brothers.

She said the only reason she did it was because her mother urged her to as her mother's boyfriend had to have it done as an adult. So the whole "do it now when they won't remember" idea.

But she told me about hearing my older brother screaming clear down the hall, talked about the complication from the bell slipping on my little brothers circumcision, and mentioned that it was stupid to do it so they would look like their father. After all neither of her son's circumcisions even look alike.

I'd already made the decision before talking to her. But she's the one who brought it up and if I hadn't already decided I wonder if she would have tried to talk me out of it.

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#36 of 59 Old 10-26-2009, 04:51 PM
 
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(not a guy, but have an intact brother born in the 70s)
we were all born at home, so that's how they avoided the assembly line.

my mom (talking to her now) says she figured all the body parts were there for a reason. other than that, she has no idea. it was also the norm in her peer group (that's what she said). The only one of her friends who circumcised was Jewish (and says now that she wouldn't do it now).

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#37 of 59 Old 10-27-2009, 01:27 PM
 
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Like Gillian - I am one of those parents. Circumcision had always been an issue for me, so long before I ever had children I knew that they would not be circumcised. The first was DD, born in '79. I do not recall any comment from hospital staff prior to her birth as we did not know the gender ahead of time. DS was born in '81 and I made sure the Dr knew that he was to stay intact. No argument there. Very sadly he ended up being circumcised at 11 for an infection and phimosis. There was no information in those days and even though I argued with the Drs, I had no concrete ammo. Since gaining access to the internet I have learned a lot. That his circumcision was completely unneccessary and solely due to an uneducated medical community.
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#38 of 59 Old 10-27-2009, 03:58 PM
 
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Cool thread

If I were born a male I would still be intact, even tho it was the mid eighties. I guess my parents just instinctively got it (they were into natural birth, my mama was a long time reader of Mothering). My dad found no value in circ, and he was not intact. My mom was born in Europe but was really pretty American by the time she had me. I think she remembered reading "how to raise a healthy child in spite of your doctor" and other similar books. My younger brother is intact, also.

My DH is intact and born in the mid-eighties also. I speak to his mother often about intactivist issue of today. He was a HB along with 2 other siblings. She just could not see a value in cutting of a part of her child. She also came from a fam of only sisters, and later learned her own father was intact. But she did retract and clean at least her older son's (my DH included) in their infancy. I do not know to what extent (because, honestly, I do not know how you could retract a baby without causing some serious bleeding).

All DH's nephews are intact. I cannot say the same for my nephew

Mama to DS 2/23/2009 and DD 7/22/2014
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#39 of 59 Old 10-28-2009, 02:48 AM
 
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Two of my brothers were circed. One is intact. He is intact because my father is military and we lived in a small community in Germany, so my brother was born in the local German hospital. They wanted to put him under general anesthesia to be circumcised. My mom said, "No way!"

He is 27 now. I asked him about how he feels about being intact, and he's glad about it. He was pretty lucky that he got out of it, since it was simply his birth circumstances that lead to leaving him intact!

My mom is still pro-circ, even though my second brother has a slightly botched circumcision.

Mama to DD (5) DD (3) and DS (2 months)
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#40 of 59 Old 10-28-2009, 05:48 PM
 
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Originally Posted by K703 View Post
I am an intact guy who was born in the mid-1980s. My mother became anti-circ when she was having her first child (who turned out to be a girl) and heard a baby screaming horribly loud. The doctor said that it was a boy being circumcised, and at that point she decided that circ was a terrible thing to do and that she would not let it happen if she had a boy in the future.
*sarcasm intended*

But...but... I thought babies slept through it and didn't feel any pain?
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#41 of 59 Old 10-28-2009, 05:51 PM
 
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I was born in the 80s and my brother in the 90s.
My brother was initially left intact but was circ'd later because of all the old arguments

I became an intactivist because I felt I could have done something to prevent his suffering (albeit I was a toddler at the time) and my entire family hates me because of it, calling me a "wack-a-doodle" and a "pervert." I have since resolved to leave the country for good and NEVER let anyone in my family have contact with my children (if I ever have any).
Yet, the real pervert is the one who gets paid to slice up penises!
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#42 of 59 Old 10-28-2009, 08:07 PM
 
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This is kind of a spin off, but just wondered for those of you who are guys born in the 1970's or 80's and left intact, or for those of you who are women who wouldn't have been circ'ed if you were male or whose brothers were intact, how did your parents learn about intactness and how did they dodge the circumcision assembly line?
My dad is intact, so he thought circumcision was a pretty stupid thing to do. My four brothers (born 1978 - 1988) are all intact.

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#43 of 59 Old 10-30-2009, 10:08 PM
 
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I would not have been circ'd had I been a boy.

My in-laws were hippies on a commune-- so no circs for their sons.
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#44 of 59 Old 10-30-2009, 10:19 PM
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I don't quite fit your criteria as I was born in 1969. In my case, my parents were American grad students doing research in Kenya when my mother became pregnant. They planned to return to the U.S. for her to give birth, but the airline would not let her on the plane. So I was born there, where RIC is not performed, and by the time they got back to the U.S. they had gotten used to me in my intact state (which is an interesting side point: if you think about it, there is no reason to do a circ so quickly after birth, except to keep parents from doing exactly like mine did and getting used to the intact penis and thus getting cold feet--also, they've got the baby in the hospital already in most cases which makes it easier to accomplish while parents are in a foggy state of mind).

I am tremendously grateful to that airline for not letting my mom on the plane, even though after 9/11 it caused me a great deal of hassle when I applied for a passport.
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#45 of 59 Old 10-31-2009, 08:29 PM
 
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My oldest brother (from my Dad's first marriage) is from the 70s and he was circed. My dad watched it and he said "NEVER AGAIN!!!". So my other brother was born in the 80s and my dad told my mom before they even had kids that any boys they had WOULD be left intact. So my other brother was left alone. And my dad even made my mom watch a video way back then. They were both in agreement.

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#46 of 59 Old 10-31-2009, 09:00 PM
 
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I don't have any brothers... but my mom was adamantly anti-circ (my dad adamantly pro, so it's probably good that i don't have any brothers...). Apparently she became anti-circ when she was at the hospital either giving birth, the days after birth, or visiting someone in the maternity ward and happened across a circumcision in progress. When she found out *I* was having a boy, she went on and on and on about how horrible it is and how no one can possibly tell her that that little baby was not in pain from the operation. So I guess it was just from the trauma of having seen it. This would have been in the very early 80s.

My midwife said she had the same feeling about it when she was in nursing school and had to help out with them. Her son (born in the early 90s? late 80s?) is apparently not circ'd for that reason... she just saw it as brutal and unnecessary?

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#47 of 59 Old 11-01-2009, 05:49 AM
 
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Doctors were outspoken about it here by the mid 70s. I asked my Mum once and she said she read about it being unnecessary and cruel before she got married.
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#48 of 59 Old 11-01-2009, 06:52 AM
 
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My brother born in 1986 is intact. My mother was an RN and had seen them done. She thought it was a barbaric and unnecessary. DH born in 1972 on the other hand has a botched circ. His mother is very pro-circ even though DH's was such a mess. She actually gave me grief because my sons aren't circ'ed. She is all about looking like everyone else especially FIL.
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#49 of 59 Old 11-01-2009, 12:25 PM
 
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Ugh, I just realized something. My DH is circ'd (and rather tightly, unfortunately).. and he was born almost 3 months premature in 1978 and wasn't *supposed* to make it. I wonder when they circumcised him? I know that he had to have surgery for a hernia at some point after he had gotten to go home. I'm hoping that that is the time he was circ'd, since he was already under anethesia. Circumcision disgusts me anyway, but the idea of circ'ing such a preemie (and likely with no anesthesia whatsoever) makes me want to bawl my head off and vomit repeatedly.

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#50 of 59 Old 11-01-2009, 12:42 PM
 
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Ugh, I just realized something. My DH is circ'd (and rather tightly, unfortunately).. and he was born almost 3 months premature in 1978 and wasn't *supposed* to make it. I wonder when they circumcised him? I know that he had to have surgery for a hernia at some point after he had gotten to go home. I'm hoping that that is the time he was circ'd, since he was already under anethesia. Circumcision disgusts me anyway, but the idea of circ'ing such a preemie (and likely with no anesthesia whatsoever) makes me want to bawl my head off and vomit repeatedly.
My MIL seems to think it's some sort of christian doctrine that boys/men be circ'd or they won't go to heaven. She'd TOTALLY do the same thing, if she could. I have no doubt.

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#51 of 59 Old 11-01-2009, 02:42 PM
 
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My MIL seems to think it's some sort of christian doctrine that boys/men be circ'd or they won't go to heaven. She'd TOTALLY do the same thing, if she could. I have no doubt.
Not surprising at all. My cousin feels the exact same way.
You know, I've never brought it up with MIL since DH and I can't have children together, but I wonder what her reasoning was back then.. or if she was coerced or whatever. I don't know if religion played into it, and I know we can't discuss that here, but she's a VERY strict Catholic.

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#52 of 59 Old 11-01-2009, 07:28 PM
 
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Apparently the Catholics are against circumcision. That is one of the reasons almost everyone in my family is intact.

Wife to DH, Mom to my Intact Boys DS1: Born 02 Pain Med Free Hospital Birth, BF'ed for 9 Months, Partially Vax'd DS2: Born 06 via UC, BF'ed 3 years 10 months, and UnVax'd
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#53 of 59 Old 11-01-2009, 07:33 PM
 
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Apparently the Catholics are against circumcision. That is one of the reasons almost everyone in my family is intact.
Yup, my intact DH and BIL are a result of devout Catholic parents. My (intact) FIL even went to seminary.

And I know the Mexican population here is largely Catholic and largely intact.

I'm Kellie :, married to Chris , and mom to one baby girl (7/12/09).
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#54 of 59 Old 11-01-2009, 09:39 PM
 
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Apparently the Catholics are against circumcision. That is one of the reasons almost everyone in my family is intact.
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Yup, my intact DH and BIL are a result of devout Catholic parents. My (intact) FIL even went to seminary.

And I know the Mexican population here is largely Catholic and largely intact.
Really?? I had no idea. Huh.. learn something new every day! Well, now I'm definitely curious as to why DH was circ'd, as MIL has always been a devout Catholic. I have no idea if BIL is circumcised (DH's older brother). I really don't want to bring this up to MIL, but I'm just really very curious.

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#55 of 59 Old 11-03-2009, 08:46 AM
 
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Well, I am one of those mothers who had two sons in the 1980s. I did not circumcise them for two main reasons: 1) I had seen circumcisions in nursing school and knew them to be barbaric, and 2) I was into natural everything, did all the attachment parenting things - which meant respecting my children's bodily integrity. My parents also had taught me to think for myself, and not to follow the crowd, so I think that also helped.

Gillian
Me, too. My sons were born in the 70's and 80's and are intact.

In my case, however, I credit it to the fact that my sons were born at home, and my midwives were very anti-circ. I thank my midwives from the bottom of my heart that they educated me!
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#56 of 59 Old 11-03-2009, 10:17 AM
 
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Really?? I had no idea. Huh.. learn something new every day! Well, now I'm definitely curious as to why DH was circ'd, as MIL has always been a devout Catholic.
The Catholic Church is indifferent to circumcisions for cultural or perceived health reasons, the assessment of which is up to the parents. It's a pretty well known dispute; for authority, it's probably easiest to just ask a priest if you don't want to bring it up with the MIL.
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#57 of 59 Old 11-03-2009, 01:39 PM
 
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I think for my parents it was easy. They didn't have their sons circumsized because my dad said it was "unnecessary mutilation". We are first generation american though. I think my parents did a lot of things differently than everyone else.
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#58 of 59 Old 11-03-2009, 04:02 PM
 
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My husband, born in 1975 to teenage parents, is circumcised. But, his parents saw how horrible it was and became staunchly anti-circ. His younger brother was left intact.

I have no idea about my dad or brothers, but I suspect they are cut, because my brother had his son circumcised. Against his wife's objections.

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#59 of 59 Old 11-03-2009, 04:17 PM
 
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My husband, born in 1980, is intact. His father is circ'd. The entire reason that he is intact is because the hospital forgot to do it right after the birth, and they never got around to making the appointment. I thank my lucky stars every day for this mistake. Unfortunately, DH's parents had no idea how to take care of an intact penis and I'm nearly sure they retracted him to clean. There doesn't seem to be any lasting damage, thank goodness, but I shudder to think of the suffering DH went through.

I don't have a CLUE whether my parents would have circ'd me if I was a male. I was born in 1986. I don't know if my dad is circ'd... I think he is, but I'm not sure. Considering how mainstream they were back then, (formula fed me, left me to CIO, etc.) I'd say I probably would have been circ'd. *shudder* They haven't said a thing about my DS being intact (although he is only a week old, so who knows), but they also know that I'm pretty crunchy compared to them, and they know better than to argue.

Tristian, vegetarian wife to Matt, intactivist, UC supporting mama to my little earth-child-in-training, Ginny (4), and my sweet boy, Finnian (2).  Due mid-July with our third little one!

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