Hospital Solicitation, take two - Mothering Forums

View Poll Results: I have an intact son and....
I was asked only one time at the hospital if he would be circumcised 48 26.37%
I was asked multiple times, but more as an informational rather than pressure thing 40 21.98%
I was repeatedly asked and put pressure on to have it done 8 4.40%
I was never asked at all--it was just assumed that it wouldn't be done unless parents requested it 27 14.84%
I had a homebirth or birth center birth and was asked once, solely for care informational purposes 23 12.64%
I had a homebirth or birth center birth, and midwifes asked repeatedly or applied pressure 0 0%
I had a homebirth or birth center birth and was never asked at all about circ 21 11.54%
You made tons of options and still left out my situation 15 8.24%
Voters: 182. You may not vote on this poll

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#1 of 64 Old 10-27-2009, 06:04 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Okay, vote for real this time.
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#2 of 64 Old 10-27-2009, 06:49 PM
 
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I voted, "I was asked multiple times, but more as an informational rather than pressure thing" even though we had a HB, we did have to go to the hospital that same day. DH was asked 2 or 3 times if we were going to circ. My HB midwife only asked when we were talking about Vit K at a prenatal.

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#3 of 64 Old 10-27-2009, 06:59 PM
 
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Other, naturally.

I had DS in the hospital, and we actually were planning on having him circumcised. Don't think it was a thoughtless decision; there are pages and pages in his baby journal I keep for him about my soul-searching. Anyway, that was the plan.

Then DS was born with a hydrocele--very swollen scrotum because of fluid passing from his abdomen.

His scrotum was so swollen that the doctor who was going to perform the circ couldn't get at the base of his penis to give him the necessary anesthetic, so she wouldn't do it.

We were asked if we wanted it done and had to sign a couple of release forms, so my hospital wouldn't have done it without our permission. When we were asked about it, it was pretty low-pressure, a very casual "so, do you want a circumcision or not?" kind of thing, rather than an assumption that we would have it done. Nobody tried to talk us out of it (although his pediatrician is SO happy we didn't have it done), and I don't get the impression that anyone would have tried to talk us into it, either.

In retrospect, we're really glad that circumstances conspired to stop the surgery. After agonizing over it and talking to lots of people and reading lots of websites, we were kind of relieved to have the decision made for us. And it was the right decision, so that's lucky, too.
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#4 of 64 Old 10-27-2009, 06:59 PM
 
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I chose Only Asked Once because I was asked when I had DS 1 and it was more of a "are you planning to circ, cause if you are I don't do them?"

With DS 2 I had a UC and the topic never came up even at the newborn check up.

Wife to DH, Mom to my Intact Boys DS1: Born 02 Pain Med Free Hospital Birth, BF'ed for 9 Months, Partially Vax'd DS2: Born 06 via UC, BF'ed 3 years 10 months, and UnVax'd
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#5 of 64 Old 10-27-2009, 07:14 PM
 
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We had a hospital birth and never asked. I think it was because we had it stated in our birth plan and we were pretty vocal/adament about our birth plan being followed.

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#6 of 64 Old 10-27-2009, 08:07 PM
 
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I voted that I was never asked, but kind of feel like it was cheating... 99% of boys in my province are intact, if you want a circ it has to be arranged in advance and costs $400. And there are only two doctors left who do them.

MSI (government health care) hasn't paid for them since 1977. Most MEN my age are intact.

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#7 of 64 Old 10-27-2009, 08:14 PM
 
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DS was born in a hospital and we were asked twice, more as an informational thing.

The first was when we checked in and when I said no, the nurse happily tore up the consent paperwork and told me how she wish she hadn't had it done to her boys.

The day after he was born when we were getting ready to leave, another CNM in the practice I was seeing buzzed my room on the intercom and asked if we wanted him circumcised. I practically yelled "hell NO!" and everyone at the desk got the message loud and clear.

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#8 of 64 Old 10-27-2009, 10:37 PM
 
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I only remember being asked twice, once by the nurses (about 3 minutes after he was born while I was still laying there with my guts hanging out!) and once by the pediatrician, but I was given zero information either way, either before or after the birth. But there was no pressure. This was in Texas in 2005.

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#9 of 64 Old 10-27-2009, 11:08 PM
 
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I voted for my first child and only son. The only time I was asked was by mr dr. when he came to check on us the next day. There was no pressure from him.

My other three were girls and homebirths. I was asked while pregnant because it's something they are against and I assume they would have tried to change our minds had we wanted it done.

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#10 of 64 Old 10-27-2009, 11:11 PM
 
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I only have a DD...surpisingly, no one asked if I wanted someone to cut her genitals up for me. ----oh wait...that would have been illegal

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#11 of 64 Old 10-27-2009, 11:12 PM
 
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We were asked more than once but by different Drs just confirming.

We were checking out of the NICU so there was a lot of people involved. I declined and they were very supportive, seemed relieved really. It was at a large children's hospital and they were double checking because the peds we choose do not do them.

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#12 of 64 Old 10-27-2009, 11:39 PM
 
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I was never asked with both of my kids. With my 2nd son I had it in my birth plan...but my first son I didn't have a birth plan and I still wasn't asked. 90% of boys in BC are intact though so it's the norm.
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#13 of 64 Old 10-28-2009, 12:31 AM
 
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I didn't vote b/c it wasn't multiple choice and I didn't know which scenario to vote for

I have had two boys- one at a hospital and one at a birth center. (And will be having another hospital birthed boy in a few weeks at a different hospital).

My first son is circd (....I had him before I found MDC) and I was never asked and in fact I had to bring it up and I definitely got an icy vibe from the female pediatrician. This was at a military hospital and he had it under general anesthesia b/c they needed to do a MRI to check something so while he was still out they did it then.

My second son is intact and he was born at a birth center. I was asked a few times what I was going to do if he was a boy re:circ at prenatal appts and I said we will not be circing and they always said something like "woohoo!" or "yay!" and then at our PP appt I saw a new midwife and when she checked his diaper area she said "yay! no mutilation for you!"

I am anticipating on what will happen at this new hospital in a few weeks, but I already mentioned once to my OB that we don't circ when we were discussing not doing the vitamin k injection and he didn't comment on it at all either way.

Mom of 3 sons and one daughter
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#14 of 64 Old 10-28-2009, 01:14 AM
 
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I went with "Tons of options yet still left my situation out".
I've had all 3 of my children with midwives and never found out the gender before birth. Before they brought up any mention of circumcision, I did. I was very clear that I was anti circ. I have used two different midwives. My first had her own independent birth center and cared for a good sized Monnonite/Amish community. She performed circumcisions because she said they culturally circ'd and she wanted to know that the babies received the best pain medication possible. I knew less about circ then than I did during my two other pregnancies. Now, I could not work with a midwife that performed circs. I just ethically couldn't.

My last two babies were born at home with the same midwife who is anti circ and does not perform them and will not perform them.

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#15 of 64 Old 10-28-2009, 01:35 AM
 
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I really think this poll is more relevant to the US, so I'm not going to vote, but will comment.

I was asked with ds1. I think they asked me twice, but it wasn't more than that. I don't recall being asked with ds2 at all. With Aaron, I was asked during the pregnancy, but it was in a "if you're planning to, I'm going to give you all the reasons why you shouldn't" kind of way. I've never been pressured to circ. (That's just as well, because if they tried to get to agree to surgery on my son, after doing surgery on me without my consent, it would have become really, really ugly.)

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#16 of 64 Old 10-28-2009, 01:43 AM
 
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I got asked multiple times, but no one seemed surprised that I declined and no pressure was put on me.

Benny was in the NICU for a month before going home, and apparently there's a problems with releasing the boys and "oops" the parent's forgot to request a circ, so they have to stay in for two more days to get it done and be observed afterwards.

It's pretty sad, but they actually put a big sticker on his chart that said "NO CIRC". I feel like they should have put a big sign on the other boy's charts that said "MUTILATE THIS CHILD"

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#17 of 64 Old 10-28-2009, 01:47 AM
 
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Ds was born in 1996 in Atlanta, Ga. We were asked several times... but no one tried to force us. In fact, the doctor on call said..."less work for me".
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#18 of 64 Old 10-28-2009, 02:47 AM
 
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I voted other. When our first son was born we were not asked if we wanted him circed. Rather we were asked when we wanted it done, that first day, or the day he went home. We didn't know with him that we had an option

Thea, wife to Daniel Homeschooling Momma to 4 beautiful, engergetic children.
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#19 of 64 Old 10-28-2009, 09:51 AM
 
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I voted "I was never asked at all--it was just assumed that it wouldn't be done unless parents requested it", which was true, except until I was going home with him, then the nurse apologized for the fact that the doctor who did the circs was gone for the day--she thought that maybe I'd forgotten to get it done or not realized I had to request it!--and asked if I wanted to stay another day or come back with him in the next day or two. (I guess parents do let time slip away and then the boy gets discharged before his circ gets done) However, they took their sweet time with his hearing test--so long, I opened his diaper dreading to find he'd been circed. (he wasn't)

My first child (DD1), they actually had a "class" on circ and how to care for the baby after circumcision and the way they called for it over the intercom, it sounded like you didn't have a choice. My roommate and her husband were on their way to go, but I checked to see if I had to go and then told her that parents of girls and boys that aren't being circed don't go. (We both had little girls). While the parents were in the class, the boys were circed.

My third baby (dd2), of course no one asked me. However, we did not get enough blood the night before for her newborn screens, so they had to take her to the treatment room to draw more blood (not done in room). I couldn't go because they were doing the circs at that time. I shudder to think, now, if she'd been a boy--could she (he?) have gotten caught up in it and "accidentally" circumcised?
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#20 of 64 Old 10-28-2009, 10:34 AM
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I voted "other."

My boys are intact, but they were both born by c-section and I was on pain meds most of the time during my hospital stay. It's been many years and I really don't recall whether I was asked or not. If I was, it was only once. I would remember if I had been pestered about it.
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#21 of 64 Old 10-28-2009, 11:03 AM
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I voted "other."

My boys are intact, but they were both born by c-section and I was on pain meds most of the time during my hospital stay. It's been many years and I really don't recall whether I was asked or not. If I was, it was only once. I would remember if I had been pestered about it.
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#22 of 64 Old 10-28-2009, 11:39 AM
 
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I had a weird thing happen it was like but I don't know if I heard wrong or not because I have trouble hearing stuff . In ways, I think this nurse that I recieved was anti-circ because maybe she thought I could hear and said the boy in the next room is getting circ'ed in the nursery. My eyes bulged out of my socket and I said No Circumcision for Brendan she marked it on the paper with O with a slash in the middle . He's still intact and that was the only mentioned I had of it .

I had brendan in Burbank, CA at St Joseph's Medical province center .
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#23 of 64 Old 10-28-2009, 11:52 AM
 
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I was asked twice, once by the nurse in L&D before birth/as part of admittance paperwork, and once as confirmation by the nurse in maternity.

And both were quite happy that the answer was "no."
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#24 of 64 Old 10-28-2009, 12:11 PM
 
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I was asked once by a nurse after DS was born and she hugged me when I said, "NO!" And then she very happily wrote, "NO CIRC" all over his bassinet and chart.

It was a wonderful experience in Grand Rapids, Michigan.

secular classical-ish mama to an incredible 5 year old DS and an amazing 6 year old DD.
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#25 of 64 Old 10-28-2009, 12:32 PM
 
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Other. We were asked multiple times at the hospital by various people. Some nurses rolled their eyes, others were fine. One doc came in and asked when we wanted the circ done and we looked at him like he had two heads and a horn and said 'we're not doing that!' and he left VERY quickly, but didn't say anything.

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#26 of 64 Old 10-28-2009, 12:35 PM
 
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With each of my boys, I was asked once. The hospital nurse looked slightly confused, but dropped it and nobody asked again. My HB Midwife asked once and was relieved when we said no. She only asked because alot of her clients want it, and she usually recommends a guy who does a "less" traumatic job.

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#27 of 64 Old 10-28-2009, 12:50 PM
 
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I voted I was asked, but no pressure. However, if I had multiple choices I would have answered that I also wasn't asked.

My first two boys were born with midwives, one in the birthing center, one technically in a hospital but that is only because the birthing center was being rebuilt. So I was just never asked. I think I might have been asked during prenatal visits, but I wasn't asked after birth. Then again, I wasn't even there long enough for it. And when they had their first ped visits, I wasn't asked either. Their ped was from Mexico so I think she just didn't even think to ask. Of course, I had already made the decision that it would be a NO.

With my new baby, he was a c-section, hospital delivery of course then a NICU stay. We were asked at his birth hospital (not by my OB, he wont do them), but the ped and a few nurses. They all seemed fine we said no. Then at the nicu we were asked by multiple dr's, especially since they had him sedated, guess they figured then was a good time to do it. We of course said no and they seemed fine. The funniest questioning of me was when I asked the neonatologist about my son being tongue tied. She said "we don't just routinely clip the tongue, we wait to see if there is a problem with feeding or speech", then she asked me if i was getting him cut. I just looked at her and laughed. I mean really, what can you do? She wont clip his tongue, which to me seemed like it could be a much bigger issue, as far as problems in the future, but she was willing to cut off his penis? She did get a big smile when I said no though. I did clarify that I was OK with his tongue being clipped, cause that made sense to me.

So with the same baby, we had two peds then ask if we were doing it. The first said "I have to ask because you only have until he is a month old to do it, but are you having him circ." I said "NO" it must have sounded alittle defensive because she laughed and said "don't worry, i don't want to do it, I just have to ask". Then the next week at his follow up, his regular ped asked and she seemed shocked, but happy. I think it was more because my step son that she has had to look at multiple times for diaper rash is cut and I guess she figured we would with the baby too. I told her no, I wont do it, I kept my older two boys intact, I didn't get to make the decision about dss.

So none with the older two and wayyyyyy too many times with the baby.
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#28 of 64 Old 10-28-2009, 01:52 PM
 
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I was only asked once by a nurse. She was confirming what was written on the record sheet. She and my OB commended me for choosing not too

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#29 of 64 Old 10-28-2009, 03:24 PM
 
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Never asked and at DS's first ped appt. his doc looked at him and said "not circumcised? good".
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#30 of 64 Old 10-28-2009, 06:55 PM
 
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With DS1 we were only asked once by a nurse. When we responded with a no, she said something like "oh good!" and seemed relieved.
With DS2, it was a UC and we were not asked at his first checkup.
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