How exactly do i retract DS? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 38 Old 01-25-2010, 03:44 AM
 
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Originally Posted by mntnmom View Post
It's not really a problem. Technically grown men only need to retract for cosmetic reasons. It takes care of itself. DOn't sweat it. Let him soak in the tub if you're worried. It will gradually loosen on it's own long before he needs to use it. If it doesn't move easily, it shouldn't be moving. Your doc probably squeezed the glans to pull back the foreskin. It probably didn't do any damage, but you're better off just leaving it alone.
That's not really true. A grown man ejaculates, an infant or young boy doesn't. You're not going to clean or wash that off without retracting. And if you're an intact man and you're not retracting to at least run water down there every once in a while, things will get funky.

I understand people want to reinforce that retraction is unnecessary through most of childhood, and that's true, but retraction in adulthood is normal and a function of the foreskin. It's designed to be retracted and replaced.
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#32 of 38 Old 01-25-2010, 05:23 AM
 
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I think it should be mentioned that some men never are able to retract and have zero problems with that. Not sure if they just have a sphincter that is to tight to allow it or if they have adhesions under the foreskin as the cause.

I am sure it is rare since I have only ran across it a time or two in my reading but for those men they do not retract and wash and have no problem with it.

 
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#33 of 38 Old 01-26-2010, 12:37 AM
 
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I think it should be mentioned that some men never are able to retract and have zero problems with that. Not sure if they just have a sphincter that is to tight to allow it or if they have adhesions under the foreskin as the cause.

I am sure it is rare since I have only ran across it a time or two in my reading but for those men they do not retract and wash and have no problem with it.
If an adult man isn't able to retract, that's a defect. That's abnormal and possibly a sign of problems, as you yourself point out the sphincter could be too tight or they might have adhesions. Retraction is necessary to fully expose the inner skin of the foreskin, particularly the frenulum and the ridged band.

Not to mention, during intercourse if you're unable to retract, that's more likely to lead to uncomfortable tearing during penetration. Retraction removes the foreskin from harm's way and allows for normal intercourse. So I wouldn't make the argument that it's "normal" for an adult male to not retract. They can certainly get by, or claim to not to have any problems, (much like some circ'd men do) but that's not the way that part of the body was designed.

Again, speaking as an intact male, if I didn't retract to at least rinse with water down there, I can't imagine things would smell all that pleasant.
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#34 of 38 Old 01-26-2010, 12:59 PM
 
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Thank you for this conversation! Our doctor at DS's 3 yr WC told me to start retracting his foreskin in the the tub - I haven't but I was wondering if it was correct. (The doctor never retracted it in the office and, as far as I know, his foreskin has never been retracted by anyone) I have always stood behind the "clean like a finger" rule. It's good to know I was right to follow my instincts!

Julie - Wife to Louis, Mamma to Ben (11/06) and 2
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#35 of 38 Old 01-26-2010, 02:18 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mntnmom View Post
It's not really a problem. Technically grown men only need to retract for cosmetic reasons. It takes care of itself.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Papai View Post
That's not really true. A grown man ejaculates, an infant or young boy doesn't. You're not going to clean or wash that off without retracting. And if you're an intact man and you're not retracting to at least run water down there every once in a while, things will get funky.

I understand people want to reinforce that retraction is unnecessary through most of childhood, and that's true, but retraction in adulthood is normal and a function of the foreskin. It's designed to be retracted and replaced.
But Papai, you are saying that ejaculate needs to be washed away or else things will get funky. Funky, as in smelling real bad. And not wanting to smell bad is a cosmetic reason to wash. Leaving it there won't gain you any friends - or dates - but it won't give you any diseases or infections, either.
Don't get me wrong, I like a fresh-smelling crotch as much as the next person, however I would like to dispel the myth that is rampant even among those who are against infant circumcision that it is an either-or thing: either you circumcise, or you have a lifetime of needing to scrub out under that foreskin. You can choose to not circumcise, but you had better be vigilant about making sure your kid/teenager washes or else he will get all kinds of infections and diseases.
I'm sorry, but that is just not true. All an unclean crotch leads to is funk. And circumcised men get just as smelly if they don't wash. No one ever got infections or diseases from smegma, oils, urine, or their own semen. (Poop, of course is a different story. That does cause urinary tract infection and if poop gets under the foreskin it should be washed away. Although in the case of a young child, the sphincter will keep any poop out of the preputial space, even if separation is beginning.)
I just think it really hurts the cause when well-meaning but misinformed parents say that it is wrong to circumcise to avoid infection (they've got that part right) because you can avoid infection by washing, washing, washing (that's where they are wrong.) I think it just reinforces the notion that the foreskin is gross, dirty, and leads to disease - makes people think, if it's that much trouble and requires constant cleaning to avoid infection, maybe it is better to get rid of it.

As for avoiding disease by washing after intercourse, I would think that would equally apply to women and to circumcised men. If you can wash away a virus before it gets into the cells and infects them... I would like to see the studies that were done on this. How soon after intercourse must you wash? Should soap be used and if so what type? Do the women have to wash up inside the vagina to see the protection, or just wash the vulva? How long does it take for different viruses to actually infect the cells (i.e. what is your window for being able to wash it away?) Does this washing offer the same amount of protection as condom use? If you use a condom, does washing after intercourse offer additional protection versus just using a condom? - I have a lot of questions about the mechanics of how that all would work. Any leads on where to read the studies I would really like, thanks!

Jen
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#36 of 38 Old 01-26-2010, 02:23 PM
 
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i've always read that it's necessary for a child at some point to retract his foreskin, and that it's safe to take for granted that it typically happens once he becomes an adolescent and begins to "discover" himself.

definitely another area, i gather, where open and ongoing parent/child discussion is necessary and beneficial.

Midwife apprentice and mama to 6, including three UC babies: Jude River, 06/04/08, Elora Wren Isolde, 9/27/10, and our newest addition, Eilish Neve Isebeul, 6/12/14!
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#37 of 38 Old 01-26-2010, 03:54 PM
 
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Yep you talk to your ds just like you talk to your dd. For my dd I made sure to tell her when she wipes to do so always from front to back and so far I havnt needed to tell ds to do anything because as soon as he gets in the bath he starts playing with it so it gets plenty clean that way

 
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#38 of 38 Old 01-26-2010, 05:39 PM
 
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Give him info on the proper care of the intact penis and get a new Dr.

Me Hubby
Colin 1/13/04 Elena 1/18/07
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