A thought about separation - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 9 Old 02-27-2010, 10:34 AM - Thread Starter
 
AXEius's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: north east michigan
Posts: 232
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I've noticed quite a few posts about separation lately and a some people have expressed concerns that if their boys were circumcised they wouldn't have to go through that experience . Some also express fears while separation is occurring or of it happening in the future. I just want to say that a circumcised boy WILL GO THROUGH SEPARATION trauma. When the doctor sticks a blunt probe in between that babies foreskin and his glans to tear the foreskin away from the glans that it is fused too, there WILL be separation trauma. Or in my case, every time my mother tore my foreskin back off my glans at the orders of my doctor because "they didn't take enough foreskin off". This happened up to the age of 3 which i can still remember. So I say remember, circumcised boys will go through separation trauma forcefully, at the hands of a doctor, with no anesthesia.
AXEius is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#2 of 9 Old 02-27-2010, 11:51 AM
 
bandgeek's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 2,356
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Yup, you are absolutely correct. And it's better for it to be gently and naturally, over time, then forcefully by a second party.

There are just too many complications associated with circ to even come close to balancing out the temporary pain from separation (that not even every boy will deal with). Girls deal with periods, cramps, pain when their breasts begin to grow, pain when they lose their virginity, ect. It's just part of growing up. Same with boys.

My ex had a tight circ so he never dealt with anyone ripping the skin back (aside from during the initial time, during the circ of course) but when he got older and there was no skin to grow into, his shaft skin tore. Over and over. I think he must have finally stretched out enough that it quit tearing when he quit growing, but that is not even comparable to the minor pain of natural separation! It way above and beyond that. And now he has a lovely scar to show for it too.
bandgeek is offline  
#3 of 9 Old 02-27-2010, 05:43 PM
 
Bm31's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 625
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Yes, very true. I remember the constant, forceful re-separations of my remnant foreskin as my mother was instructed to do by the ped. They even tried to get me to do it myself. ARE YOU KIDDING??!! I knew better than that and wouldn't do it. My penis was in a constant injured, bloody, infected, re-healing vicious cycle. That went on until I was six when they re-circ'd me and REALLY messed it up but good.
Bm31 is offline  
#4 of 9 Old 02-27-2010, 07:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
AXEius's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: north east michigan
Posts: 232
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My mom told me to do it myself too! I remember seeing it bleed and KNOWING at 3 that THIS WAS NOT RIGHT. Its "funny", they said when i was young that they didn't take enough skin off, but when i was a teenager I didn't have enough skin to accommodate erections without pain. So if its too much skin when you're little and not enough skin when you're a teen, how could there ever be an "appropriate" amount to remove.
AXEius is offline  
#5 of 9 Old 02-27-2010, 07:31 PM
 
eepster's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: growing in the Garden State ............
Posts: 8,777
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
The big danger with separation is that the parent will panic and take the child to the Dr, where they will be dx'd as having some terrible problem that requires circ.

Timmy's Mommy WARNINGyslexic typing with help of preschooler, beware of typos
eepster is offline  
#6 of 9 Old 02-28-2010, 01:07 AM
 
glongley's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Boulder, CO
Posts: 1,031
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Separation was no big deal for my boys. Though some will have some temporary discomfort or swelling as new sections of the foreskin separate from the glans, perhaps some stinging with urination, or some itchy irritation, many others will have no symptoms or problems at all.

Even though we talk about it as "separation trauma" here, for lack of any other official term for it, one should not think of the natural separation process as something pathological or horribly stressful. It is just a normal part of development, and for most boys, no big deal, even when there are some transitory issues.

Gillian
glongley is offline  
#7 of 9 Old 02-28-2010, 03:05 PM
 
Bm31's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 625
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by AXEius View Post
My mom told me to do it myself too! I remember seeing it bleed and KNOWING at 3 that THIS WAS NOT RIGHT. Its "funny", they said when i was young that they didn't take enough skin off, but when i was a teenager I didn't have enough skin to accommodate erections without pain. So if its too much skin when you're little and not enough skin when you're a teen, how could there ever be an "appropriate" amount to remove.
Yikes! Even as little kids we knew it wasn't right to damage our own bodies. All I got to show for it was a bunch of scar tissue. They don't have a clue how much to remove because the answer is NONE. Nature gave us the exact right amount.
Bm31 is offline  
#8 of 9 Old 02-28-2010, 07:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
AXEius's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: north east michigan
Posts: 232
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bm31 View Post
Yikes! Even as little kids we knew it wasn't right to damage our own bodies. All I got to show for it was a bunch of scar tissue. They don't have a clue how much to remove because the answer is NONE. Nature gave us the exact right amount.
exactly!
AXEius is offline  
#9 of 9 Old 02-28-2010, 08:10 PM
 
eepster's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: growing in the Garden State ............
Posts: 8,777
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Quote removed by admin
Foreskins don't grow back. The remnant may reattach to the glans, but that is not the same thing as growing back. Of course reattaching to the glans is one of the most minor possible problems that arise from circ, many much worse problems can occur.

Quote:
~quote removed by admin
Can you back that up? If your referring to the HIV studies from Africa we can show you how they are inaccurate and irrelevant to infants in the US.

Quote:
~Quote removed by admin
I don't think anyone of us simply say it's unnatural, we usually say it's unnecessary painful, risky, disfiguring surgery.

Timmy's Mommy WARNINGyslexic typing with help of preschooler, beware of typos
eepster is offline  
Reply

User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off