Finding childcare for intact infant -- advice? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 16 Old 03-11-2010, 07:11 PM - Thread Starter
 
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We are expecting in August, and if it is a boy, he will be left intact. DH is intact, and I honestly can't imagine cutting any son of ours.

That being said, I work full time outside the home, and will return to work when our baby is only about 7-8 weeks old. If it is a boy, how can I communicate clearly how to correctly care for an intact child? I'm worried about some misinformed person retracting his foreskin, which could introduce infection or worse. And I would really have no way to know, since I don't think it leaves a mark and the baby can't tell me.

Obviously, it would be wonderful to put the child with a nanny that I can sit down and personally educate, but right now that is looking like that might not happen. If I have to put my son in a center, what can I do to ensure his genital safety?

Thanks for your ideas and responses. It is a long way off, but I'm already worried.

CD'ing, homebirthing, milk making school teacher. Supporting my family on my income and trying to get out of debt in 2013!
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#2 of 16 Old 03-11-2010, 07:20 PM
 
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I'm guessing that you do not have any family members nearby able to provide care? At a child care center they see a wide variety of children, they should know about intact care. When you call and talk to the administrator I'd ask them about their education and policy regarding training of infant cargivers with regards to intact children.
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#3 of 16 Old 03-11-2010, 08:26 PM
 
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Agree with PP. Just talk to them and express your concerns and how you want your baby handled, i.e. no retraction, wiping like a finger etc. After covering all the bases there is going to have to be a certain amount of trust on your part. Just as you would trust that the care provider would use expressed breastmilk in your baby's bottle instead of formula (if that is your plan) you are going to have to trust that they will abide by your instructions re: diaper changes. If you can't trust them then you shouldn't be leaving your baby there anyway.
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#4 of 16 Old 03-11-2010, 08:55 PM
 
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JMO but if it is an actual daycare organization, I would feel better having a typed out, signed clarification in the baby's file.

Mama to expecting Babe 2
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#5 of 16 Old 03-11-2010, 09:00 PM
 
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I might even go so far as to have instructions printed off and have them put over the baby changing station. Better to be safe and over board than for your ds to pay the price if someone dosnt know and hurts him.

 
SAHMlady.gifread.giflovin' trekkie.giffan intactivist.gifwinner.jpg to loveeyes.gifenergy.gifDD 10/00 & superhero.gifmoon.gifDS 10/04 ribbonpb.gifIf your ds is intact, keep him safe, visit the Case Against Circ forumnocirc.gifCirc, a personal choice, Your sonsyes.gifbrokenheart.gif11/98brokenheart.gif6/99ribbonbrown.gifanti-tobaccoribbonyellow.gifThyroid cancer survivor. With cat.gif& goldfish.gif & (Boxer)dog2.gif wishing 4 whale.gif&ribbonwhite.gifsigncirc1.gifselectivevax.gifdelayedvax.gif

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#6 of 16 Old 03-12-2010, 01:36 AM
 
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You can print off NOCIRC pamphlets here:

http://www.nocirc.org/publish/pamphlet4.html

http://www.nocirc.org/publish/pamphlet6.html

Momma to DS (2/08) and #2 due 10/11.
 
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#7 of 16 Old 03-12-2010, 10:59 AM
 
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You could also do a quick demonstration. Open his diaper and give everything a wipe while one or more providers are watching.

Kas (24), Helpmeet to Stefan (25), Mom to Franklin Gaudelio 4/15/09, Jonathan Boswell 1/2/11
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#8 of 16 Old 03-12-2010, 11:20 AM
 
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Huh, it never occurred to me that I should be concerned when my (now 10yo) DS started daycare at about 3 months. Maybe I mentioned it but I don't think so. We never had any problems.
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#9 of 16 Old 03-12-2010, 11:28 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PoppyMama View Post
Huh, it never occurred to me that I should be concerned when my (now 10yo) DS started daycare at about 3 months. Maybe I mentioned it but I don't think so. We never had any problems.
Well, TBH if I hadn't read on MDC that you didn't need to retract I would have thought it was necessary...like it is with a circ'd penis.

I don't say that to scare you...just to show that unless you're informed you might make assumptions.

Kas (24), Helpmeet to Stefan (25), Mom to Franklin Gaudelio 4/15/09, Jonathan Boswell 1/2/11
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#10 of 16 Old 03-12-2010, 08:33 PM
 
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You could get him some shirts to get the word across:

http://madebymomma.spreadshirt.com/i...tract-A5602991
Intact don't retract. Only clean what is seen.

http://madebymomma.spreadshirt.com/d...tomize/color/1
Don't retract! Or mom will sue.

Mama to expecting Babe 2
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#11 of 16 Old 03-14-2010, 03:55 AM
 
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I am a little horrified now I didn't know circed babies were retracted I really hope my ds wasn't hurt
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#12 of 16 Old 03-14-2010, 08:59 AM
 
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My DH didn't know not to retract DS1. Though he was smart enough not to force it, and asked me. With the increasing number of intact boys in the US, hopefully most care providers know what to do about cleaning. But just to be safe I would talk to the "boss", providing something with the AAP position on care of the intact penis (I know the link is in the sticky up top of the forum). Our boys have never been in childcare in the States, but I would put it on my list of things to ask about!

Mom of 4 aspiring midwife "Friend"ly seeker
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#13 of 16 Old 03-14-2010, 12:29 PM
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I talked to everyone who might change him and I posted a note above his diapers.

"Our task is not to see the future, but to enable it."
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#14 of 16 Old 03-14-2010, 12:42 PM
 
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Talk to the daycare about it.

It wasn't really a concern of ours, because our daycare stated that they would do nothing but wipe and change a diaper without a signed release. They wouldn't even apply diaper cream without a release. And since the daycare enrolled a large number of Indian and Asian children, uncirced boys seemed to be in the majority rather than the minority--having been in the infant and toddler rooms at various times over the years le kid was there, seeing various other boys get diaper changes, I think there was only one circed boy in either his infant or toddler room.

In fact, his current preschool has daily swimming lessons, and thus the boys all change into their swimsuits together and will see other boys during changing. Someone there apparently at some point gave all the boys a basic "circed versus uncirced" talk, which included the information that "if you have a covered penis, nobody should uncover it except you!" I get that advice quoted at me at the beginning of every bathtime. :P
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#15 of 16 Old 03-14-2010, 05:17 PM
 
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I love that saying and it is great that you live in a place with such a diverse community

 
SAHMlady.gifread.giflovin' trekkie.giffan intactivist.gifwinner.jpg to loveeyes.gifenergy.gifDD 10/00 & superhero.gifmoon.gifDS 10/04 ribbonpb.gifIf your ds is intact, keep him safe, visit the Case Against Circ forumnocirc.gifCirc, a personal choice, Your sonsyes.gifbrokenheart.gif11/98brokenheart.gif6/99ribbonbrown.gifanti-tobaccoribbonyellow.gifThyroid cancer survivor. With cat.gif& goldfish.gif & (Boxer)dog2.gif wishing 4 whale.gif&ribbonwhite.gifsigncirc1.gifselectivevax.gifdelayedvax.gif

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#16 of 16 Old 03-14-2010, 05:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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For the record, when I mentioned my concerns to DH, he was shoked and horrified that anyone would ever mess with a kid's foreskin. I love my gently raised man.

I like the idea of a shirt. In our community, most of the boys (I'd say around 80%) are circ'ed, so it is possible that our child could be a care providers first exposure to an intact penis. So making very clear how to treat them correctly is important. I think I will also do a lettter to the center, as well as talking to the director about proper care. Thanks for all the suggestions!

CD'ing, homebirthing, milk making school teacher. Supporting my family on my income and trying to get out of debt in 2013!
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