If you are glad you left your son(s) intact, post here - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 68 Old 03-08-2004, 12:22 AM - Thread Starter
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Hi all! I'm hoping for a "sticky" thread that will correspond to the current sticky of "If you regret........."

This will be a postive, life-affirming, integrity-affirming thread.

So, if you're happy and you know it, clap your hands............:LOL

No, actually, if you're happy you left your son(s) intact..........we want to hear all about it!

I'll start........

My son is a toddler and intact. Every day I'm at peace that we left him intact! I know I am closer to him because I left him with something that so many other boys have had taken away from them.

Now I'm a total "intactivist" (see Senior Member Title!). I have the following bumper stickers on my car: "God Makes Perfect Babies: Say No To Circumcision" and "www.StopCirc.com"

And I have an outfit for my son that reads, "Intact and Lovin' It!"
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#2 of 68 Old 03-08-2004, 12:45 AM
 
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We left our boy intact!
I am very happy with our decision (although it really wasn't "our" decision to make).......
My dh was pretty upset when I told him we weren't circ'ing.:LOL He said stuff like: "I'm the dad! I'm the one with the penis! I should have a say in this!" I said, "Nope. I'm growing this baby. I'm birthing this baby. No one is going to genitally mutilate this baby. I'm sorry your foreskin was amputated, but our son's will not be." End. Of. Discussion. Poor thing:
After changing my intact son's diapers for nearly two years now, circ'd penises kind of gross me out. I mean, I see this HUGE scar, a penis that looks aroused even when it isn't because the head is always exposed... and I want to KILL..... I MEAN KILL...... the doctor that mutilated my poor husband. All I can picture is my poor dh in a sterile military hospital in Germany, strapped down, without pain medication, being ripped at, pulled on, sliced at for ten minutes straight I can't even imagine the sheer torture, the horror this innocent, beautiful newborn experienced in those first couple of days of life here.

I know, know, KNOW that it leaves deep psychological scars. My dh has them but hasn't really dealt with them yet. Not only that, but I can tell, because his penis is slightly bent, that they took off too much foreskin during the circ. When I did some research, I found out that most men have cosmetic and functional defects due to circ. but don't realize it..... because men don't go around showing each other their penises, ya know? And erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation run rampant because doctors lop off an extremely important, fully functioning body part with the belief that there may be some kind of potential benefit:

I know that if I ever got my son circumcised, I wouldn't be able to deal with it. I want to cry every time I see a baby boy with a circ'd penis. It's really difficult for me to not judge a parent who would intentionally harm their child for cosmetic surgery...... esp. after I learned that less than 25% of children receive anesthesia for the procedure It makes me ill to think that women aren't stronger and actually give in to the pressure to circ. their beautiful baby boys. Not ill, as in, "I hate you! You're a bad mother!" But, literally, I get sick to my stomach and want to cry.

I hope that male genital mutilation will become illegal, just as all forms of female genital mutilation are. I'm glad I was strong enough to go against the grain and change my friends' minds about circ'ing, as well
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#3 of 68 Old 03-08-2004, 12:48 AM
 
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Oh, and I also wanted to add...... taking care of my son's intact penis is soooo easy! It doesn't retract yet, so all I have to do is wipe him off and be done with it! Sometimes the tip gets a little red, but that's because he plays with it all the time and is gradually retracting the foreskin himself.
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#4 of 68 Old 03-08-2004, 12:51 AM - Thread Starter
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Great story, Candiland!!!

Keep the stories coming, everyone!!!

PS. My dh wasn't upset when I told him we weren't circ'ing.......I guess that puts him in the minority, since a lot of dads get upset. But you're right......the mamas have to GET STRONG and protect those baby boys!!!

And ya' know, I certainly don't do everything right as a parent, but I always have the knowledge that I left him intact and I have breastfed him. Those things I have done right!
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#5 of 68 Old 03-08-2004, 12:55 AM
 
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I hadn't really thought about it before I was pg, but all I had to do was read Dr. Sears' description of a circumcision in his book to decide I didn't want to to do it.

The only bad thing has been lots of bad advice from MDs about how to take care of it (but that helped pushed me out their door and into the welcoming arms of homeopathy, a good thing!).

I love my boy so dearly and can't imagine hurting him for no good reason. I feel sorry for kids who have to go through it.
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#6 of 68 Old 03-08-2004, 01:11 AM
 
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I am clapping my hands too. I knew I would never circ. my son. Dh and I talked about it once, he couldn't have done it either. My OB "almost" looked disappointed when I told her we weren't circing. Ugh.

My sister's oldest son ws circed...my sister struggled with this...21 years ago. She gave in to the pressure of looking like dad. The doctors made an error and my nephew is actually only partially circed. They left some of the skin on somehow. It was terrible for my sister and bil, because here they made that decision and it wasn't even properly performed. She has had two more sons and left them both intact. As is every other male child in our family (me and my sisters).
Ben was so happy and perfect when he was born...I felt love and protection for him. He seems to like his penis just the way it is too

~Joan, Happy mom to 2 beautiful kiddos, one new puppy and 2 lovely felines
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#7 of 68 Old 03-08-2004, 02:19 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by somemama

No, actually, if you're happy you left your son(s) intact..........we want to hear all about it!

This is such a happy idea!! I wish I'd thought of it, but instead I couldn't stand it told my story on the 'if you regret it' thread... I'm just silly, I guess... but I was wanting to make some of them feel better. My reasoning was that my dh was THIS CLOSE to doing it.. I had told him clearly that if it was up to me I would never do it, but nearly failed my ds by figuring it should really be my man's decision. I told him that if he was going to let them do it, he could damn well be in there and hold ds's hand while it happened, because I couldn't possibly stand by and let that happen. I really see my son being intact as the grace of God, not my brilliant decision. I wanted them to know it could happen to anyone, and the thing to focus on now is that they will never let it happen again! So if you want to hear about us, you can look me up in the 'regret' thread. I'm the one that has an adorable puppy and Ewan McGregor to thank!

It's interesting how these stories kind of mirror our birth stories.. You just want to share it with someone! It's so gratifying to know what you've successfully shielded your child from. I'm more grateful every day as I learn some new horror relating to circ'ing that we dodged that bullet.. or scalpel.

My husband was pretty receptive as well; he hadn't ever really thought about it either. He's suffering from things physically that I believe are directly related to his circ. He now agrees it's an outright atrocity. And the more I learn, the more I feel like I'm almost mourning my dh's foreskin! To think of the love we COULD have made, you know? Things work, but we'll always wonder how things might have been different!! I don't know if his parents chose it or were unaware of it. I would imagine they chose it, just based on their personalities. I don't think we've ever mentioned ds intact state to them, and my mil and step-fil are planning on coming out in the next month, and I wonder if A)they'll even get close enough to notice and B)have the guts to comment if they do and C)how they'll respond if they notice.

It makes me so sad to see circ'd little boys, too. My nephew is 2 1/2 month younger than my ds, but my SIL is 11 years younger than me- still a teen- and I tried SO HARD to get her interested in things like natural childbirth, bf, not circ'ing, but she refused to learn anything. Literally refused all info. She was just so fearful! He's the sweetest little guy, but it breaks my heart when I change his diaper. When I can't even convince someone to educate themselves, I feel like I've failed that baby.

Anyway, what a great thread!

lizzie

It's such a relief to finally trust yourself.
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#8 of 68 Old 03-08-2004, 09:37 AM
 
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I'm glad Brandon's in tact!

DH is circ'ed but I wouldn't allow "I don't want him to be different" to be a good excuse...we did our research and decided against circ...we don't regret it!

~Brandon Michael (11/23/03), Jocelyn Lily Nữ (2/4/07, adopted 5/28/07 from Vietnam), Amelia Rylie (1/14/09), & Ryland Josef William (9/7/05-9/7/05 @ 41 wks). 
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#9 of 68 Old 03-08-2004, 10:40 AM
 
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Both of my sons are the way nature intended them to be!

It was never an issue with DH, or family, or my pedi.

We have had no problems with 'maintenance'...LOL..
(what maintenance!! :LOL )

*Happy* we did nothing is an understatement!

Kristina; wife to Max, Mom to Tristan (17) and Zackariah (7) and Lillian (5)
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#10 of 68 Old 03-08-2004, 10:44 AM
 
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Of course, I would never circ any of my children.
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#11 of 68 Old 03-08-2004, 11:02 AM
 
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Checking in w/ my intact DS! So glad my SIL passed on her anti-circ info!

Analisa, Mama to Meg 12/12/01, Patrick 12/24/03, Catherine 12/24/03, Ben 2/26/06
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#12 of 68 Old 03-08-2004, 11:02 AM
 
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Happy happy happy that I left my little man intact

Strangely enough, my husband (who is circ'd) was the one who pushed for not circ'ing him. I'd never given it much thought. Just assumed that circ'ing was the way things were done. He was so against it and encouraged me to do some research on the subject.

I'm happy to say that I saw the light and my little man is intact just the way God intended him to be
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#13 of 68 Old 03-08-2004, 12:28 PM
 
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What's there to regret? It's like saying "Do you regret leaving your child with all theri fingers and toes?" It's the sensible thing to do- not rob your child of body parts that arent' yours!

Jackie
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#14 of 68 Old 03-08-2004, 12:51 PM
 
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both boys intact here, one is 5 and the other will be 10 on saturday! DH gave me no problems at all.
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#15 of 68 Old 03-08-2004, 02:12 PM
 
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I am so happy ds is intact! He went through a lot in the first four days of his life in the NICU with IVs coming out of his limbs (and then his poor head ), I can't imagine having added a circumcision to his suffering.

I am so happy that he will get to grow up to enjoy his body as nature intended it to be enjoyed! Every time I change his diaper or watch him run around naked, I delight in his sturdy, strong, healthy, perfect little self.

The more I learn about circumcision, the angrier I become, at the doctors who perpetuate this barbaric custom, at the parents who bow to convention or fail to research, at the families who pressure for circumcision. I am angry at my in-laws not only for circing my dh but even now refusing to learn about what circ really is - so that their other grandsons will pay the price of their ignorance.

There is no good reason to circumcize a baby. Not one.

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#16 of 68 Old 03-08-2004, 02:28 PM
 
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//
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#17 of 68 Old 03-08-2004, 02:46 PM
 
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Hi! You can add us to the happily intact list! Thank God for my dh because it was actually his idea to leave our ds intact! He saw how it was done and said NO WAY! I guess it helps that his younger brother is intact - so he knows it is normal.
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#18 of 68 Old 03-08-2004, 03:00 PM
 
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DH (circ'd) & I are so glad about keeping DS intact.
We call it his little windsock when it's standing @ attention.
LOL
but really.... it's the best gift we could give him - to leave him as he came out.

Me & DH hug2.gif , adult DD lips.gif & 7 yo DS guitar.gif . 2 GSDs, 6 rescue kitties, 4 birds & a gerbil.
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#19 of 68 Old 03-08-2004, 03:18 PM
 
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Ds is intact, as is his dad, and his gandpa. Couldn't be happier
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#20 of 68 Old 03-08-2004, 03:29 PM
 
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Hi Everyone,

I am also happy happy happy that my sons are normal. As mothers I feel VERY strongly that it is our responsibility to protect them.

Lise

Mother of Christian and Sebastian -- Two beautiful boys
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#21 of 68 Old 03-08-2004, 03:53 PM
 
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Happy Mama here too! Dh was on the fence about it, but I told him I was against it, and if he wanted it done, he would have to go take him (knowing he would NEVER put his child through such torture!) It was a non-issue for me. He was born with it, I am not taking it away. It saddens me when people(friends) say they are circ and 'not much could change my mind' WTF??? Ugh, I can't get started, this is a happy thread! GO INTACT BABIES!!!
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#22 of 68 Old 03-08-2004, 04:04 PM
 
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And another happy mama and dh (circ'd). Ds is now 22 mos, and I truly am happier about the older he gets. It's just right somehow. And perfect. And the way he is supposed to be!

Great thread!

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#23 of 68 Old 03-08-2004, 04:17 PM
 
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I am VERY happy that our boys are intact.

Before I gave birth to my first, the midwife asked what we were planning to do about circumcision, and to be honest I hadn't thought about it for one second. Not only that, but I had no opinion about it. Zero. None. She gave us a little pamphlet that I remember as being vaguely anti-circ, but I didn't pay much attention to it. Basically, he wasn't circumcised because I didn't really see the point of going to the trouble to take him to a pediatrician to have a piece of skin lopped off. I wasn't anti-circ as much as it just seemed sort of a non-issue and pointless inconvenience to me.

My husband, thankfully, was of the same mind-set. If he'd been inclined toward circ, I wonder if I would have gone along with it. I hate to say that I might have.

Now, of course, I know a little more and regard at it as an extremely important issue. I am vehemently anti-circ, partly because it seems clear to me that the risks and loss from infant far circ outweigh any potential benefits, but mainly because it finally occurred to me that no one has the right to permanently alter or remove a healthy, functioning part of another person's body without that person's desire and consent. (Duh!)
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#24 of 68 Old 03-08-2004, 04:46 PM
 
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Another very happy mommy here... and I'm sure Max is happy with it too!!!
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#25 of 68 Old 03-08-2004, 05:40 PM
 
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I'm very happy I left my little guy intact!Dh wanted to do it at first,until he saw a picture(not even a video) of one being done.He knew he couldn't do that to our baby!He's circ'd,and has realized his problems with that area are directly from his circ.He is the most anti circ person I know now.Family hasn't been very supportive about it(they think we're ).I think they are nuts to cut off part of their perfect babies at birth!!I can't see how anyone can do that.

Student mama to one awesome,talented and unique dd,15 and one amazing, sweet and strong ds,12(born with heart defect Tetralogy of Fallot,also on the autism spectrum),9 cats,and 2 gerbils.
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#26 of 68 Old 03-08-2004, 05:47 PM
 
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My three boys are intact and proud!
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#27 of 68 Old 03-08-2004, 06:31 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by muldey
Family hasn't been very supportive about it(they think we're ).I think they are nuts to cut off part of their perfect babies at birth!!I can't see how anyone can do that.
It's astonishing to me how people who (at least seemed to) preveiously think we knew what we were doing - aka family and friends - immediately jump to the conclusion that we've lost our ever loving minds if we dare to buck the status quo! Doesn't anyone just ask WHY? Why would you BF? Why would you CD? Why are you HS'ing? Why aren't you mutilating that beautiful baby boy?! Cause we'll tell'em, if they would only try to discuss it instead of pointlessly condemning us!

I guess being condemned for being indepent thinkers isn't such a bad thing. What are we, a bunch of PARENTS or something? Where DO we get off? :LOL

lizzie

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#28 of 68 Old 03-08-2004, 06:37 PM
 
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We're happy we left our boy intact. I'm proud that his body is exactly how it was intended. My dh and I hope that he too will be glad that he's got all the right parts.

I'm trying to change the way my friends and family think about circing without being preachy. I just want them to come to think of uncirced as normal.
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#29 of 68 Old 03-09-2004, 02:55 AM
 
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I am the proud mama of a baby boy whose body is just the way nature intended. I didn't know what circ was until my cousin was born, I was about 11. The topic came up, that she was leaving him intact, and I asked what it all meant. My mom basically just told me that the foreskin is a flap of skin on the head of the penis, most people cut it off for various reasons, but it wasn't necessary to do so. All I remember thinking was how weird that was!

When I learned I was pregnant, one of the first things I told my dp (who is circ'ed) was that if the baby was male, there was no way we were doing it. He asked why, isn't that just what you do? I said there's no reason for it and it happens over my dead body, lol. And I left it at that.

It peaked his curiosity, he did his own research, came back to me on it a few months later to say the baby is not to leave our sight after birth and if anyone tries to cut him they will pay! I already knew that but was glad he came to the same conclusion on his own.

I think of it every time I change a diaper, just can't imagine what anyone could see as 'extra'?

The medical staff was great, all saying how there is no medical reason for it, and nobody has ever tried to retract him or tell us to do so. We chose his doc in part because when he asked if we were and we said NO! he said GOOD! There's no reason for that. Love our Dr., he's cool about the vax's too..

Wow, I didn't realize I had so much to say on the topic.
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#30 of 68 Old 03-09-2004, 04:07 AM
 
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I'm proud of my whole, perfect son. Dh was completely on board. He has a pretty tight circ and carries some anger about it. There was no way he was going to do that to his boy.

Momma to three fine children, one that lives in my heart and two that live in my arms.
Circumcision is wrong, regardless of gender
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