Made myself a pest with the SIL. Feeling down and she's still gonna cut. - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 14 Old 05-28-2010, 04:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Ah. Well, another RIC on the way, but not before I became a bit of a "Buttinski" and now I am feeling depressed about it.

Today in my third (and I guess final) attempt, I texted MIL a congrats and "he's perfect, don't cut him" and she wrote back: "She has chosen. End of conversation."

Great. Now they are all annoyed with me and I am probably the "crazy penis lady" now.

It should just be illegal.



Also, the other Step-SIL is having a boy in two months. Haven't started on her but she's probably been "warned" about me now.

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#2 of 14 Old 05-28-2010, 05:27 PM
 
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I just went through a similar experience. A friend of mine had her baby boy a few days ago, and she knew how I felt about circumcision and the trauma it causes. She seemed pretty much on-the-fence about it, but when I went to visit her at the hospital her hubby was all "Oh they circumcised him this morning, look at his boo-boo...blahblah" I just simply said I didn't want to hear about it or see it. I guess all you can do is give them the info, but in the end, they're going to do what seems best to them no matter what. For the most part, it's like fighting a losing battle. It is very frustrating. birthpsychology.com has some pretty interesting studies on common procedures at birth and their effects.

Earth-loving, birth-loving, body-working, simple-livin' mama to two sweet girls and fiance to a hard-working man treehugger.gif namaste.gifbellyhair.gif

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#3 of 14 Old 05-28-2010, 06:08 PM
 
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good for you! one day you'll change someones mind, and they'll thank you for it! At least you can live with yourself. A coworker of mine had her son cut, (2 days after birth, because what if he bleeds out? ). I wish I had said more.

Shame on those who know better!

Texmati-- Knitter, Hindu, vegetarian, WOHM. Wife to superdadsuperhero.gif and mom to DS babyf.gif24 months, and DD boc.gif 8 months! .

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#4 of 14 Old 05-28-2010, 06:13 PM
 
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I'm so sorry. I know exactly how it feels. When my cousin, who is basically the sister I never had, proceeded to circumcise her youngest son even after I provided so much information to her.. it just broke my heart. I felt so sad for that baby and felt so defeated that I actually vowed to never try to talk anyone out of it again. Thankfully, once the initial hurt passed, I was able to talk about it with others again.

I also know how it feels to be the "crazy" one for trying to talk people out of it. We're trying to save these babies from this mess, and yet we're the crazy ones. It just doesn't make any sense, does it?

Wife and mother to 2 kiddos - 17 yr old DS jammin.gifand 13 yr old DD energy.gif.. and a cat that thinks he's a dog dizzy.gif
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#5 of 14 Old 05-28-2010, 06:31 PM
 
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I'm sorry. At least you tried - and although they didn't heed your words this time, maybe your influence will be felt by that family (or others) later.
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#6 of 14 Old 05-28-2010, 07:51 PM
 
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You did all you could. You should feel glad knowing you tried to educate someone on intact care/ the option not to circ, because some people never know that they have the option not to.
Please don't let it discourage you. Keep trying to spread the word & plant those seeds. You are making a difference. Plus, how many parents, some even on this board, have circed one or more boys only to eventually leave a son intact? You may have helped any future sons of theirs to remain intact, especially once they see taking care of a freshly circed baby isn't always easy.

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#7 of 14 Old 05-28-2010, 08:02 PM
 
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I'd rather be the crazy intact penis lady than the crazy cutter lady any day.
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#8 of 14 Old 05-28-2010, 11:25 PM
 
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Sweetie you tried. It's so hard, I know.

Rachel(29)treehugger.gif Crunchy, granola wife of Matthew(30)reading.gif, DD Willow(5yrs)energy.gif, DS Ronan(2yrs) superhero.gif, Ivy Spring 12/29/2009 lost to Hydrops at 20 weeksangel3.gif, 2 other angel.gif and DS Canaan(1yr) kid.gif.  Holy Cow!!! jaw2.gifDue with someone new July 2014!!! joy.gif
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#9 of 14 Old 05-28-2010, 11:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Arduinna View Post
I'd rather be the crazy intact penis lady than the crazy cutter lady any day.
Thanks.

{Partner to DH  and Former WOHM, now SAHM  to DD, DD , and DS } *** ***
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#10 of 14 Old 05-28-2010, 11:47 PM
 
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welcome to the alienated-the-SIL-club. i was there this time last year. and i may be there again soon as i have anotehr SIL & step-SIL who are expecting boys.

we try and unfortunately, when people don't want to be educated, they won't be. it's very sad that their children suffer the consequences.

i make a donation for each birthday & gift-giving holiday to help me to feel better that perhaps my money will go to save another baby. and i plan to inform them when they become of age of what i tried to do & what was taken from them.



sus

Baby the babies while they're babies so they don't need babying for a lifetime.
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#11 of 14 Old 05-29-2010, 03:26 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Arduinna View Post
I'd rather be the crazy intact penis lady than the crazy cutter lady any day.
Amen. But I feel you, OP, as I am also known as the crazy penis lady.

DS1 2004 ~ DS2 2005 ~ DD1 2008 ~ DS3 2010 ~ DD2 born at 31 weeks Oct. 2014
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#12 of 14 Old 05-30-2010, 01:05 AM
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I'd send a beautiful card saying that I've made a donation in her son's name to an anti-circ charity in honour of his beautiful birth.

Long distance Mom to boarding school superstars E (9) and Layne (6).
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#13 of 14 Old 05-30-2010, 01:16 AM - Thread Starter
 
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So, do hospitals definitely do the circs on the last day before mom and baby leave? It's what I have always heard but I was wondering if anyone knows for sure and if it's the same everywhere or varies from place to place.

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#14 of 14 Old 05-30-2010, 02:44 AM
 
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I think it depends on the place-- I know my coworker is getting her's done early, but it was normally scheduled for the day before leaving.

Texmati-- Knitter, Hindu, vegetarian, WOHM. Wife to superdadsuperhero.gif and mom to DS babyf.gif24 months, and DD boc.gif 8 months! .

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