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#31 of 37 Old 06-06-2010, 12:08 AM
 
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I asked my older intact son (now 26) if he was ever teased in the locker room for being intact. Answer: No. (He's a man of few words). So I asked what would you do if anyone ever made a comment about you being intact. Answer: I'd ignore them.

End of conversation.
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#32 of 37 Old 06-06-2010, 12:42 AM
 
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I had an opportunity today to discuss circumcision with a few young people who worked at a business in the mall where I attended a nurse in. I had two young ladies, one of which was pregnant, and a young man. I asked him about the locker room teasing issue and he laughed and said very strongly "You don't look down! You just don't do that."
Edited to add that this guy is 24 years old.

"To err is human, to forgive, canine." - Unknown
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#33 of 37 Old 06-06-2010, 01:14 PM
 
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DH is circ'd but I asked him about this once when we were having the discussions about keeping DS intact... not that it would have swayed me. He said there was a kid on his football team who was intact. It was noticed, because whether they admit it or not guys do compare themselves to each other (in their own minds) in a group shower setting. No one ever said a word to this intact guy... because what guy in their right mind is going to admit to checking out another guy in a roomful of 1/2 naked and fully naked guys?

Wife (32) to DH (33) Mom to DS 2 and Twin DD's born 8/11
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#34 of 37 Old 06-06-2010, 02:38 PM
 
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DH is intact and grew up in an area with a large population of people who circ for religious/cultural reasons. He was teased for other things, but never that.

Amy, wife to Paul 5/20/01, SAHM to Daniel 5/23/07, Claire 7/15/09, and Elaine 9/4/12

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#35 of 37 Old 06-08-2010, 06:07 PM
 
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My twin sons just finished 10th grade. They have phys ed in school, including 3 weeks of swimming each year.

They have no idea of their best friends are circumcised or not, but considering that we live in a very high-circ-rate region, I'm guessing they probably are. The boys don't know because they don't look, and they don't ask. No one has ever commented on the state of their penises - but then, my sons don't go parading around the locker room naked (heck, they don't even like to change clothes in front of each other).

If anyone ever DID comment on the fact that they have foreskins, they have both told me that they would simply ask "Why are you looking?"

My DH is circumcised, and it has never been an issue for the boys. When they were little, the things they noticed about their Dad's genitals was that they were much bigger than theirs, and hairy. Sure, they noticed that his glans was expposed, but it never occured to them that his foreksin had actually been cut off - why would it? They simply assumed that he kept his foreskin pulled back. When they did learn about circumcision (at age 8), they were horrified, and the older they get, the more strongly they are opposed to infant circumcision. They were disgusted when my little brother had his son cut 3 years ago.

My DH and his brother were in their 40s when they learned that their Dad had been intact. Obviously they didn't spend a lot of time comparing penises. I think that's the case for most families.

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#36 of 37 Old 06-08-2010, 06:38 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LaLaLaLa View Post
Kids get teased for all sorts of things. Including being intact if that is the minority. I don't think it helps anything to say it never happens; it's just a matter of whether that information should have an effect on anyone's decision.


Good point!! I think that it is disingenuous to pretend locker room teasing never happens. Maybe it happens far, far less than many men would imagine, but it does happen so to say that it does not and will not is not quite true.
But even if you could say with 100% certainty that this baby boy WILL be teased as an adolescent for having a foreskin.... is that REALLY a reason to cut it off?? Of course not! Heck, I was teased all through high school for stuff I did on purpose, like dress funny and dye my hair orange. If being teased by shallow classmates was really so awful, I could have simply chosen to not dye my hair orange, but I chose to be myself rather than conform and not be teased. How could any prospective parent think that they KNOW their son would be willing to part with his foreskin to avoid a few years of teasing, if I couldn't even part with a bottle of peroxide?
It all comes back again, as usual, to the circumcised father trying to justify his own circumcision. They have to feel like they were cut for a reason, and it makes them feel good to think that they avoided years of unbearable locker-room teasing because they were circumcised. Something like, "thank goodness my parents circumcised me as a baby so I avoided the sure sentence of years of teasing! I have to do the same favor for my son!" For a circumcised father, it can be tough to face up the the facts that a-it is very unlikely that his son will ever be teased for his intact status and that b- even if he is, high school is a short time in your life and c-with confidence in himself and compassion for others, he can deal with teasing without it being a big deal, and d- anyone who teases him for being intact is just acting on their own insecurities for being circumcised. And so, many husbands cling to the "locker room" myth. And by myth, I don't mean to say that teasing never happens, I have seen it myself, but I mean it is a myth to think that circumcision is a solution to the remote possibility of maybe some fleeting time of being teased by shallow people some years down the road.

As for the question of the OP, the "locker room" teasing I witnessed was never to the face actual teasing. It was more like college room mates and dorm mates telling their friends and girlfriends that "so and so" has an "anteater," delivered in hushed tones and giggles. Certainly these guys were just looking to hear that their penises were okay. I'm sure the guy in question may have been stung by knowing they were calling him gross behind his back, but I didn't see him running out to have surgery because of it. I'm sure he had the satisfaction of knowing he had all his body parts and all his sexual nerve endings in place. Besides, he was the dorm "weirdo" anyway for reasons having nothing to do with his penis, so they would have teased him anyway. He didn't seem to care, he liked who he was and didn't seem to care if others thought he was cool or if his penis looked right to them.

So in summary, yeah teasing probably does happen from time to time, but I don't see how that could ever be a reason to circumcise a baby.

Jen
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#37 of 37 Old 06-13-2010, 06:48 PM
 
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I think that locker room teasing is as close to a myth as you can get. I was sent to a boarding school at the age of 6 and spent my entire grade school career in them. Every one had totaly open, communal rooms for baths and showers. In elementary school everyone looked and knew the status of his friends. We were even categorised (amongst ourselves) as either "roundheads" if you were circumcised or "cavaliers" if you were intact. The ratio was roughly 1/3 intact to 2/3 circumcised. Not once did I ever witness teasing based on circumcision status. The notion of being called queer if you were caught looking did not appear on anyone's radar until well into high school, and even then you could not help but notice. It was just accepted that everyone was different. If anything it was likely the circumcised guys who felt bad - I know I did - because it was quite obvious that we were missing something.
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