If I hear, one more time, "He slept through it"..... - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 38 Old 03-19-2004, 02:20 AM
 
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[QUOTE]Originally posted by Jennifer122102
[B]I just want to say, and I hope that I don't get flamed for this, that when I did my maternity rotation at the hospital (nursing school) that I saw quite a few circs, different techniques used for all of them, and with the majority of them, the babies were quiet, sucked on a pacifier(sucking is the best way for them to calm themselves),

Someone's been spoon fed a whole bowl of something.

"Sucking is the best way for them to calm themselves"

Exactly. Whole and on their mothers breast. Not out of dire need to survive intense pain.

Sucking is a sign of pain. It is a sign of stress that they NEED to cope with something. They suck out of NEED.

It's also a good way for a dr to get a baby to shut up and think he's not committing an atrocity. A rape. Can I feel that way? Is it ok for me to see it as that? Some days I really struggle with this.

God I get mad. Frank. How the hell do you do it? How do you not freak on the world? How does my husband not lose his mind over what happened to him? How is my son going to forgive me?

I need to throw up now.
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#32 of 38 Old 03-19-2004, 02:31 AM
 
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Momto3boys, please try to forgive yourself. If you had really known the truth, would you have let that happen to your son? Of course not. I know my Aunt had her first circed, witnessed it and was horrified. She didn't circ her younger two boys. But she still feels guilty to this day. However my two boys just might have their foreskins to thank for it. Her mistake was what I was fortunate enough to learn from. I was decided on never circing before I even got married. My husband wanted to but there was NO way I was going to let that happen. Now he's so happy we didn't and wishes he hadn't been circed as a baby. My point is, now others can learn from your mistake too. There is some positive to it. Just don't be shy to share your story with others and you might be surprised how many babies you can help to be spared the unkindest cut.
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#33 of 38 Old 03-19-2004, 09:10 AM
 
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Originally posted by momto3boys
[QUOTEGod I get mad. Frank. How the hell do you do it? How do you not freak on the world?

I've definitely run the full range of emotions and denials during my journey. I've finally learned to divorce my feelings and emotions from the issue. Of course, every once in a while, the two end up on a collision course and I lose it. Thankfully, that doesn't happen often. The last time it happened here was months and months ago. "J" said something that made those two elements run together and I unleashed on her. That was the first time in a couple of years that I have had a post deleted. As a matter of fact, it got the entire thread pulled for a while. It took me quite a while to get over it and I still feel badly about the situation and the anger I exhibited in that post. I've learned that kind of thing does our movement no good. I really came down too hard on "J" and she left for a while. She was simply trying to deal with a home situation the best way she knew. I am glad to see she has rejoined us. I regret doing what I did and being so harsh.

So, yes, I do get mad. I also try not to take any of this on a personal level. I try not to connect this discussion to my own personal situation. I try to keep my feelings about my personal experiences separate from what I read here and other places. That helps keep me from being angry. That anger can eat you up from the inside out.




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#34 of 38 Old 03-19-2004, 08:00 PM
 
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I have to say my ds1 was circed with my husband in the room holding his hand and talking him through it. My son had lidocane, he still screamed. I was in the hall outside the room, crying. (Now too, at the memory). I went in and nursed him for about half hour, until he was asleep, it took that long for him to calm down. He slept most of that afternoon, very unusual for him. Whenever he was awake he cried if he so much as moved his legs. We had him swaddled so tight he couldn't move. Neither my husband or I had any misconceptions as to why he slept so much that day, or was so fussy the next few days. It seemed so obvious. My little guys circ is 'long enough' that I didn't have to deal with seeing the scalped head of his penis during diaper changes, the knowledge is hard enough.

Mom2threeboys, I think while anger has it's place, it is hard to educate someone, or even get them to think about their stance if you are angry and freaking out on them. If you use your anger to motivate yourself to hear where they are coming from, and get them to open up, you can influence them. If they are not open to you, your message will be met with defenses of equal strength to that of your anger. And that's not the way to accomplish anything. Let your anger be the energy to continue going when you feel the battle is taking too long.
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#35 of 38 Old 03-22-2004, 11:07 AM
 
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Originally posted by momto3boys
Well I've seen my fair share of circ's too and what you are saying is a load of bull.
Sorry, but it isn't a load of bull. I'm not lying to you. I only stated exactly what I saw. Just because it doesn't agree with what you want it to, is no reason for you to accuse me of giving you a load of bull. I also stated before that my statement was in no way supporting circumcision.
Sorry to upset everyone....
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#36 of 38 Old 03-22-2004, 11:41 AM
 
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Originally posted by Jennifer122102
I'm just saying that it is possible for some babies to "sleep through it" without being in "shock".
Jennifer, my baby was quiet too. He sucked on a pacifier first (the nurse kept one over his mouth - gee I wonder why? I think it's to help him COPE with what was about to happen) never screamed and then "fell asleep."

So he slept through it essentially (actually AFTER it was done, not THROUGH it - what baby is asleep during this??? ), but I am convinced it was a trauma induced sleep. If someone ripped some skin off my arm, I would too.

Ripping - yes that's what I saw. After he clamped the foreskin, he pulled it off.

10 - boy
5.5 - girl
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#37 of 38 Old 03-23-2004, 01:51 PM
 
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Maybe we should start telling parents if they want their son's circumcized, they should WITNESS ONE before consenting to it. That would change their minds.
I convinced my sister and her dh to watch a video. My bil didn't care. My sister did but decided to do whatever her husband wanted so their baby ended up being circ'd
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#38 of 38 Old 03-23-2004, 07:11 PM
 
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That's what gets me, the fact that so many parents just get their boy's circ'ed because "every one else is" circumcised... It just doesn't make sense to me, and it NEVER will...

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