Sign for above changing station - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 18 Old 06-16-2010, 11:26 AM - Thread Starter
 
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My little guy is 6 weeks old, and we're about to have a lot of company over the next few weeks. I wrote up this little sign to go above his changing pad:

Friends and family,

My doctor asked my parents to post this sign for anyone who is helping to take care of me. When changing my diaper, if my penis is messy, please only wipe it from base to tip. If it's more messy than you're comfortable with, please tell my mama, and she will give me a bath.

Even gently pushing my foreskin back a little bit, wiping from tip to base, or trying to clean the opening, can cause small tears in the natural (and beneficial) adhesions that are present in little boys. The adhesions are the same type that attach your finger nails to your nail beds, and tearing them would cause me pain and possibly lead to scar tissue formation or infection.

I know this goes against the advice that many doctors used to give, and that some medical professionals who are not educated in the current AAP guidelines for care of an intact penis still recommend forced retraction for cleaning, but this is NOT a proper care practice.

Thank you for helping to keep me happy and healthy,

Baby's name



I'm fudging the doctor telling me to a little bit, but I'm sure she would if I asked her. I just wanted to share in case anyone else found it useful!
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#2 of 18 Old 06-16-2010, 12:04 PM
 
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Can you shorten it a bit? Honestly, if I was going to change a baby, and he was crying, messy, whatever, I might not take the time to read a long note. I TOTALLY understand it's importance-I just don't want people to skip over reading it completely because it is long.
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#3 of 18 Old 06-16-2010, 12:54 PM
 
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I'm also thinking that I would not read such a sign. If I saw a sign that said, in big letters, "DO NOT RETRACT FORESKIN while changing diaper" that might catch my attention and encourage me to read the small print. But even with all the visitors we have had over the past 5 months, if someone notices that DS needs his diaper changed, he is always handed to DH or I.

Now mom to a boy born January 2010. 
Cautiously expecting Dec 2014!

 12/08 (6 weeks),  1/13 (11 weeks), &  12/13 (9.5 weeks)
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#4 of 18 Old 06-16-2010, 03:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for the advice about the length. My version of "a lot of visitors" is really only four people, and I known they'll read the sign if it's right at eye level. I made the font quite large, and the title in red. I really plan on doing the diaper changes myself, but I had this fear of someone trying to be helpful while I'm in the bathroom or something...

I don't really want to cut anything, but you guys are right, and I will make a more direct version for when we have visitors who I'm not as confident in.
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#5 of 18 Old 06-16-2010, 03:35 PM
 
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I probably would only have my mom, sister, SIL, MIL, and BFF change diapers, to be honest - so a sign wouldn't be necessary. They are all pro-intact and have experience with wiping baby butts - but if they were not, I would just talk to them about it beforehand, and explain that the penis needs to be cleaned as a finger would - nothing more necessary.

Usually people will hand the baby to mom or dad when a diaper change is necessary, but I do see your fear about going to the restroom or something. If you do do a sign, I agree with making it really short and to the point. I guess I could see doing that if you had different babysitters/nannies who were going to be caring for your baby.

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#6 of 18 Old 06-16-2010, 04:01 PM
 
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How about you make a big sign with the "Do not retract foreskin" part and then put the letter underneath it. Like a heading for the letter.
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#7 of 18 Old 06-16-2010, 06:13 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Oztok5 View Post
Friends and family,

My doctor asked my parents to post this sign for anyone who is helping to take care of me. When changing my diaper, if my penis is messy, please only wipe it from base to tip. If it's more messy than you're comfortable with, please tell my mama, and she will give me a bath.

Even gently pushing my foreskin back a little bit, wiping from tip to base, or trying to clean the opening, can cause small tears in the natural (and beneficial) adhesions that are present in little boys. The adhesions are the same type that attach your finger nails to your nail beds, and tearing them would cause me pain and possibly lead to scar tissue formation or infection.

I know this goes against the advice that many doctors used to give, and that some medical professionals who are not educated in the current AAP guidelines for care of an intact penis still recommend forced retraction for cleaning, but this is NOT a proper care practice.

Thank you for helping to keep me happy and healthy,

Baby's name



I'm fudging the doctor telling me to a little bit, but I'm sure she would if I asked her. I just wanted to share in case anyone else found it useful!
Honestly? And I'm sorry , but if I was over (being the intactivist that I am), even I would think that was weird. And I would feel like you were talking down to me (regardless of whether I were anti-circ or not).

And this part: "Even gently pushing my foreskin back a little bit, wiping from tip to base, or trying to clean the opening, can cause small tears in the natural (and beneficial) adhesions that are present in little boys. The adhesions are the same type that attach your finger nails to your nail beds, and tearing them would cause me pain and possibly lead to scar tissue formation or infection", along with the "messy poop? Then Mama will give me a bath", would make any person probably go "Uh huh. THAT's why we circumcise - because foreskins are fragile and dangerous."

Seriously, foreskin doesn't need to be handled THAT gently. I wipe my boys from tip to base a lot, heck, sometimes I even pull on the sphincter area to stretch the length of the skin where poop may be caught in a crease, and the foreskin naturally is pushed back with some wiping. You're making it sound like a ticking time bomb.

I don't know why you included the AAP thing. Are these doctors who are coming to see you? Most people wouldn't know and wouldn't care what the general advice is and how most docs disregard that.

Like I said, I'm sorry for saying this - but it's just too much.

I have never had anyone offer to change a poopy diaper for me, so it's been a non issue. But, if it were my sign, it would say:

I'M INTACT!
DON'T RETRACT!

(Just wipe what you see and leave the rest be! )
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#8 of 18 Old 06-16-2010, 06:15 PM
 
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II will make a more direct version for when we have visitors who I'm not as confident in.
Curious - if you make a short and direct version for visitors you AREN'T confident in, and a lengthy explanation for visitors you ARE confident in, then are you doing this only to make it a teachable moment or something? I'm genuinely confused.
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#9 of 18 Old 06-16-2010, 06:29 PM
 
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Honestly, I'm with Anastasiya. Even my mother, who was told to retract the foreskin of my brothers (intact b/c they were adopted from Korea) when they were babies, NEVER even attempted to retract DS.

In fact, no one who has changed his diaper has done anything but wipe, and make sure he was clean before putting a new dipe on him.

I would just tell anyone you thought might retract him to just give him to you to change. He can wait 5min while you pee to be changed if you're that worried about it.
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#10 of 18 Old 06-16-2010, 06:34 PM
 
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I reread the OP, and I guess you aren't looking for opinions. TBH, I've had good luck with just calling out (from the couch) hey! He's intact so you don't have to mess with his wee-- just wipe it like a finger. But I"ve only had a handful of people clean DS poop-- mostly my mom.

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#11 of 18 Old 06-16-2010, 07:03 PM
 
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I reread the OP, and I guess you aren't looking for opinions.
Yeah, I just noticed that too now that you pointed it out. SOrry, OP!
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#12 of 18 Old 06-17-2010, 11:00 PM
 
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If you don't trust someone to change your baby, do it yourself.

Don't use your child and his diaper changes as a way to make the case against circ. If someone is watching you change him and they ask about it, then fine, talk about it. But I wouldn't allow someone to change him if I was worried about them retracting him. Your note is too long and I wouldn't read it if I was paying attention to the baby and not looking at the wall. That's a big risk you are taking for the sake of teaching someone a lesson.
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#13 of 18 Old 06-17-2010, 11:12 PM
 
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Sorry, but the letter is so completely over the top. I say that as someone who is totally against circ and has an intact baby.

It's 4 people. Why not just say to them, "Hey, if you happen to end up changing the babe, be sure to not retract his foreskin. Just clean it like you would clean a finger." The end.
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#14 of 18 Old 06-17-2010, 11:36 PM
 
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If you don't trust someone to change your baby, do it yourself..


Since it is only four people, I would very clearly tell each of them "Do not push back DS's foreskin, at all. Thanks." And put an all caps DO NOT PUSH BACK DS'S FORESKIN, THANKS sign over the changing table. That's it.

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and 3 , in our happy secular
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#15 of 18 Old 06-18-2010, 12:20 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Anastasiya View Post
And this part: "Even gently pushing my foreskin back a little bit, wiping from tip to base, or trying to clean the opening, can cause small tears in the natural (and beneficial) adhesions that are present in little boys. The adhesions are the same type that attach your finger nails to your nail beds, and tearing them would cause me pain and possibly lead to scar tissue formation or infection", along with the "messy poop? Then Mama will give me a bath", would make any person probably go "Uh huh. THAT's why we circumcise - because foreskins are fragile and dangerous."
This. I have an intact son who is 13 months old. We have never had any problems. But reading that makes me go and wonder how in god's name we have not yet ripped the poor child to shreds.

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#16 of 18 Old 06-18-2010, 01:28 AM
 
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Hey Oztok,
I like it! I don't know why people are being so opinionated... and somewhat rude...about it and if you want to have that much info posted above your changing table then why not? It's helpful information... maybe something good to hand out to a baby sitter, too. I didn't get the impression that it made the foreskin seem overly fragile or difficult, it just drives home the importance of not retracting... because honestly, i think that people have such a curiosity---and a strong belief that theyneed to clean all up in there---that they might decided to pull it back a little anyway.
I'm guessing that you'll also give a verbal explanation to anyone who'd going to be changing his diaper; I know that I remind anyone who doesn't change his diaper regularly but might be in a position to do so.
Kuddos on keeping him intact, doesn't his little foreskin make you so happy?
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#17 of 18 Old 06-18-2010, 02:46 AM
 
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i liked it too. it IS a teachable moment, even if people only read it and don't ever change his diaper.

that said, i don't have other people changing my baby's diaper. just like i didn't let him out of my sight in the hospital when he was born, i don't want to take any risks of having him retracted, and if i do all the dipes myself, i can erase that worry completly.

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#18 of 18 Old 06-18-2010, 02:59 AM
 
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Originally Posted by jessafina View Post
Hey Oztok,
I like it! I don't know why people are being so opinionated... and somewhat rude...about it and if you want to have that much info posted above your changing table then why not? It's helpful information... maybe something good to hand out to a baby sitter, too. I didn't get the impression that it made the foreskin seem overly fragile or difficult, it just drives home the importance of not retracting... because honestly, i think that people have such a curiosity---and a strong belief that theyneed to clean all up in there---that they might decided to pull it back a little anyway.
I'm guessing that you'll also give a verbal explanation to anyone who'd going to be changing his diaper; I know that I remind anyone who doesn't change his diaper regularly but might be in a position to do so.
Kuddos on keeping him intact, doesn't his little foreskin make you so happy?
It's condescending to have a giant sign up when she could easily give the four possible diaper changers a little run down of how to change the diaper. I'm 100% against circ, but I would be really confused and semi-offended by a sign like that, especially when I'm changing some baby's diaper as a favor.

Also OP, if you do feel the need to post a sign over the changing station, I think it would sound a lot more legit to just write it from your own perspective.

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