How to take care of an intact penis??? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 8 Old 10-18-2010, 10:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Ok, so no one has a child in my family (that I know of), that has an intact son (except I know my uncle is, but I am sure the info from my grandmother would be pretty old). We have decided to leave this little man intact (because I wish I had with DS1).

So, I need a quick and dirty lesson on an intact penis and how to care for it. AND, I feel like I will need to instruct a whole bunch of people on it as well (DH's family, some of my family, etc). The only thing I know is to not retract it, but that is it. Things that I can remember when I am dealing with a newborn (i.e. pretty brainless!).

Thanks!

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#2 of 8 Old 10-18-2010, 10:53 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Climbergirl View Post
Ok, so no one has a child in my family (that I know of), that has an intact son (except I know my uncle is, but I am sure the info from my grandmother would be pretty old). We have decided to leave this little man intact (because I wish I had with DS1).

So, I need a quick and dirty lesson on an intact penis and how to care for it. AND, I feel like I will need to instruct a whole bunch of people on it as well (DH's family, some of my family, etc). The only thing I know is to not retract it, but that is it. Things that I can remember when I am dealing with a newborn (i.e. pretty brainless!).

Thanks!
It's really easy, just "clean what you see" or "wipe like a finger". Which ever you prefer to use. The cardinal rule is that you shouldn't try to retract him, even a little. That's about it. Here is a good start: http://nocirc.org/publish/4pam.pdf
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#3 of 8 Old 10-18-2010, 11:20 PM
 
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Wipe it off if there is poop on it.

Timmy's Mommy WARNINGyslexic typing with help of preschooler, beware of typos
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#4 of 8 Old 10-19-2010, 01:27 AM
 
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Here is a very comprehensive article about proper care and protecting your son from medical ignorance. http://www.kindredcommunity.com/arti...actions/p/1253

Once he's here you'll be amazed at how simple it is.

Single mom to the Crunchy Froglets, Keith and Carlin, twin boys born 1/30/09. Frozen for 10 years, now unleashed on the world.
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#5 of 8 Old 10-19-2010, 08:18 AM
 
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1) wipe like a finger from base to tip.
2) never retract (push back toward the body) and never allow anyone else to do so.

When you take him for wbc make sure to tell the Dr. before the diaper comes off that he is intact and that you do not want him/her to push back the skin any not even a little. Because some only see retraction and fully exposing the glans and that isnt the case at all. Retraction is ANY movement back toward the body and not only is it totally not needed it is potentially damaging.

 
SAHMlady.gifread.giflovin' trekkie.giffan intactivist.gifwinner.jpg to loveeyes.gifenergy.gifDD 10/00 & superhero.gifmoon.gifDS 10/04 ribbonpb.gifIf your ds is intact, keep him safe, visit the Case Against Circ forumnocirc.gifCirc, a personal choice, Your sonsyes.gifbrokenheart.gif11/98brokenheart.gif6/99ribbonbrown.gifanti-tobaccoribbonyellow.gifThyroid cancer survivor. With cat.gif& goldfish.gif & (Boxer)dog2.gif wishing 4 whale.gif&ribbonwhite.gifsigncirc1.gifselectivevax.gifdelayedvax.gif

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#6 of 8 Old 10-19-2010, 09:18 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for the info! I think I will be sending an email to everyone with this info so they will know before coming to help out. It sounds simple enough.

Is there a nice way to do that to a bunch of people who did not make this decision without making them feel bad about their decision? I want them to respect this decision, but that means I also have to respect theirs.

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#7 of 8 Old 10-19-2010, 09:38 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Climbergirl View Post
Thanks for the info! I think I will be sending an email to everyone with this info so they will know before coming to help out. It sounds simple enough.

Is there a nice way to do that to a bunch of people who did not make this decision without making them feel bad about their decision? I want them to respect this decision, but that means I also have to respect theirs.
"We chose what was best for our family" usually works well. It differentiates between your family and theirs. If they ask for more info you can go on how the convo feels. If they get defensive WALK AWAY because people that are mad don't listen very well. If they're truly interested go into as much detail as you're comfortable.

ETA: On the doctor: There is a form in this section to have your doctor sign indicating that they will NEVER retract and info on why it's bad. I recommend it (because I've heard so many horror stories that begin with "And the doc said he just wanted to look...")

Kas (24), Helpmeet to Stefan (25), Mom to Franklin Gaudelio 4/15/09, Jonathan Boswell 1/2/11
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#8 of 8 Old 10-19-2010, 10:06 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Climbergirl View Post
Thanks for the info! I think I will be sending an email to everyone with this info so they will know before coming to help out. It sounds simple enough.

Is there a nice way to do that to a bunch of people who did not make this decision without making them feel bad about their decision? I want them to respect this decision, but that means I also have to respect theirs.
This is obviously just my opinion, but I would make this as much of a non-issue as possible. If you go into this huge detailed thing about it you will seem like you are 1) on the defensive, and 2) choosing something so bizarre and out there that it requires all these special rules and things.

I would say something like this, assuming that the context of the entire email is somewhat instructional -
"For diaper changing - wipe his penis with a wet wipe, do not pull back the skin on his penis at all to clean, as this skin is attached (so nothing can get in there anyway) and will hurt him if you pull it back."

Short and sweet. Treat it like it is - normal. If they already think you're doing something totally crazy by leaving him intact, treating it like it's a "big deal" will just justify that in their minds.

It is tremendously easy to clean an intact penis - ten times easier than cleaning a baby girl!!

eta: if it comes up, a simple "people don't do that anymore" is all I would give to anyone. If they challenged that, they got a "huh, that's too bad that some people still think it's necessary." Past that, IMO, they're not respecting the decision and my gloves come off.

Em, married to Alex, mom to Samantha (11 yrs) and Cullen (5yrs) and Maybe (5/16/2010) Trying to grow 4,000lbs of produce on .2 acres. See my blog!
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