"it looks like a little worm" - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 31 Old 10-21-2010, 03:13 AM - Thread Starter
 
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My girlfriend told me this tonight, while watching me change DS.
"it looks like a little worm".
I had to laugh a bit. I wasn't offended.

I've never been with an intact man, so I've never seen an adult. And even DP (who's circ'ed) has said similar comments about DSS (intact) who's now 4 and rather large... if you're not used to an intact penis, and our culture is So used to a perfect little mushroom head staring at you, yeah, it takes a moment to get to used to it.

But a worm? Ah, I had to laugh a bit.
Still... it's those comments, even starting at 13months, that will aide to esteem issues. It's not a "worm". It's the way it SHOULD be.

I do wish, sometimes, that DP was intact, just for DS (and DSS's sake)...to have something to compare to. It will just make for questioning that much sooner. Luckily DP was the deciding factor for both boys on remaining intact, so he is mourning the loss of his foreskin... and can share that with both boys. Show his scar, really discuss what circumcision Means... and why it's a benefit to them being intact.

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#2 of 31 Old 10-21-2010, 04:33 AM
 
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If it helps you philosophically, DH is "intact" but his foreskin retracted during puberty. He actually had forgotten he was intact and thought that he was circumcised... and so did I!

It wasn't until we shared our decision not to circumcise DS with MIL that she said... umm... what do you mean, you're circumcised? No you're not! She even sent a picture just so we'd know. (ahem - from his childhood!) It took some investigation to figure out what had happened, and it's not that uncommon, but still. Imagine how that conversation with her went!

So, the point is, even though dad is intact, his penis doesn't look like DS's. We'll just explain it when the time comes and move on.

K: high school teacher and mama to DS1 (7/07), loss (10/10) and DS2 (7/12). Married to my best friend and soon to be elementary school teacher!
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#3 of 31 Old 10-21-2010, 01:16 PM
 
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A worm...At least not a bloody, chopped up, raw worm.

Mindie, wife to Mark, not-so-crunchy mom to Dylan (4/04); Devon (6/06); Dorothy (9/07); Derek (12/19/09); Daniel (12/18/10); Newbie D (2/22/12)

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#4 of 31 Old 10-21-2010, 01:34 PM
 
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It is more aerodynamic that way I don't get the looks comments anyway, because penises aren't for looks. It's a form follows function type of body part, and an intact penis performs the way nature intended it to.

Mom to Delia  (5/25/07) and Alex  (4/10/10) and 2 spoiled kitties
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#5 of 31 Old 10-21-2010, 01:40 PM
 
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Originally Posted by tammylsmith View Post
It is more aerodynamic that way I don't get the looks comments anyway, because penises aren't for looks. It's a form follows function type of body part, and an intact penis performs the way nature intended it to.
Me either....

I mean, I think elbows are ugly... but I don't suggest removing them....


This is a tree on fire with love, but it's still scary since most people think love only looks like one thing instead of the whole world. *
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#6 of 31 Old 10-21-2010, 03:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Me either....

I mean, I think elbows are ugly... but I don't suggest removing them....

oh this is hilarious. Right On!!!!

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#7 of 31 Old 10-21-2010, 03:25 PM
 
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Originally Posted by JordanKX View Post
if you're not used to an intact penis, and our culture is So used to a perfect little mushroom head staring at you, yeah, it takes a moment to get to used to it.
See, I'm totally the reverse - I'm used to intact and when I first saw a cut baby boy it was rather jarring!
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#8 of 31 Old 10-21-2010, 04:42 PM
 
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DH and I have no personal experience with intact penises, we fully expect to have a little giggle over DS's when he's born but we're both very happy to be leaving our LO as he was meant to be. I do feel differently now when I see a circ'd baby, I always cringe internally and think "OMG why did they do that to their baby??"

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#9 of 31 Old 10-21-2010, 11:09 PM
 
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My experience is that my chubby baby (6 months) has an adorable little penis that still looks very much like a mini version of dh, even though dh is circ'd (as a side note, this reminds me that I told dh, who isn't worried about ds "looking like him" anyway, that ds will still end up "look like him" because he probably will be well endowed like daddy (smirk) and that sure brought out a smile... and then it occured to me that I simply must share this with other mamas. It is an ingenious way to end that particular argument for good on a positive note.)

As for ds' penis... It is utterly adorable, just like the rest of his parts . I love every inch of him and couldn't even fathom cutting or harming any part!

Mom to Delia  (5/25/07) and Alex  (4/10/10) and 2 spoiled kitties
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#10 of 31 Old 10-21-2010, 11:23 PM
 
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Well you know...it does look like a little worm. Nothing wrong with that.
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#11 of 31 Old 10-22-2010, 12:22 AM
 
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LOL about some of the comments and suggestions(-;
Worms are cute! And useful! And natural!
Jessica

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#12 of 31 Old 10-22-2010, 10:56 AM
 
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If it makes you feel better, my 14 year old son (whose dad is circumcised) knows his penis looks like 'a worm' compared to some of his other friends....but when the difference was explained to him he was absolutely horrified at the thought that he too could have lost his foreskin. He has never considered having a foreskin as any kind of disadvantage - even if it does look 'different'.
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#13 of 31 Old 10-22-2010, 02:03 PM
 
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There is a story somewhere in which a young woman said that someone told her the intact penis looked like an anteater. Her intact brother commented that anteaters were optimally designed to do what they were supposed to do, i.e. eat ants. If you would cut the ends of their snouts off they would still be able to eat ants but not as well. He then said that the penis was optimally designed and that he was good at what he did (the implication being that he would not be as good if he had been circed)! I have always thought that that story hit the nail on the head. Let's hear it for anteaters, worms, and elephants!
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#14 of 31 Old 10-22-2010, 02:29 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JordanKX View Post
our culture is So used to a perfect little mushroom head staring at you
HAHAHA!!!

Formerly known as "JessicaRenee".  hang.gif  Single mama to Jude (Sept '09)!  biggrinbounce.gif

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#15 of 31 Old 10-23-2010, 02:19 PM
 
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Originally Posted by JordanKX View Post
My girlfriend told me this tonight, while watching me change DS.
"it looks like a little worm".

... it's those comments, even starting at 13months, that will aide to esteem issues. It's not a "worm". It's the way it SHOULD be.

Yeah, what runs through my mind at times like those is, "Hahaha, that's so amusing. A worm! Now let's take off your daughter's diaper and come up with some funny names for what her vulva looks like! And then we'll call her that!"

There's a fairly well-run story on the web about a guy who is now a professor in Los Angeles. He remembers the "sting" of someone telling him one time in the high school locker room that he had a "gun" where he should have an "apple". He never quite got over the comment, and eventually had himself circumcised.

My reaction to reading it is that I would've ignored the comment (if it didn't bother me) or have shot back, "Hmm, and you seem to have oatmeal where you should have brains. From now on, quit looking at my stuff."

It's the job of parents to help their children get over comparisons or teasing by playing games that help self-esteem. Like, "let's see how many names we can come up with for _____." Then show how all the names are silly and can't hurt the child. If names -- neutral or pejorative -- originate with the owner, in a safe situation, it helps the words lose their power to affect.
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#16 of 31 Old 10-24-2010, 01:55 PM
 
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Well you know...it does look like a little worm. Nothing wrong with that.
don't they all look like little worms at that age?

Texmati-- Knitter, Hindu, vegetarian, WOHM. Wife to superdadsuperhero.gif and mom to DS babyf.gif24 months, and DD boc.gif 8 months! .

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#17 of 31 Old 10-24-2010, 02:01 PM
 
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Originally Posted by brant31 View Post

There's a fairly well-run story on the web about a guy who is now a professor in Los Angeles. He remembers the "sting" of someone telling him one time in the high school locker room that he had a "gun" where he should have an "apple". He never quite got over the comment, and eventually had himself circumcised.
I would think for guys that having a "gun" down there would be WAY better than an apple!

At least his mother let him undergo to procedure of his own accord, rather than making that decision for him.
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#18 of 31 Old 10-24-2010, 03:03 PM
 
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I would think for guys that having a "gun" down there would be WAY better than an apple!

At least his mother let him undergo to procedure of his own accord, rather than making that decision for him.


His body. His choice.

This is a tree on fire with love, but it's still scary since most people think love only looks like one thing instead of the whole world. *
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#19 of 31 Old 10-24-2010, 04:34 PM
 
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Also, it is a human tendency to compare things. That is why we are so fond of simile and metaphor and have been since recorded writing and no doubt before. (Genitals being an extremely popular subject in this regard.) Sometimes these comparisons can be mean. But I don't think this one is. It is not something I would get worked up about.
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#20 of 31 Old 01-20-2011, 05:25 PM
 
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me too   the first time i saw a circed one i was a little shocked. I was changing a friends babies diaper and there was blood...he was days old and i was freaking out. I thought something was really wrong, silly me.

My son (9) saw his friends penis???? a circed one and said it was all pink and had a ball on the end?? like something was wrong with it. He didn't question his own! Myself, i have never seen a circed adult just that poor little boy with blood in his diaper.


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#21 of 31 Old 01-21-2011, 01:06 AM
 
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I think baby/toddler foreskins are adorable!  They wiggle when they run!  joy.gif  When I see a circed child I feel dirty because that's not something I should be seeing.

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#22 of 31 Old 01-21-2011, 02:18 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MovnMama View Post

If it helps you philosophically, DH is "intact" but his foreskin retracted during puberty. He actually had forgotten he was intact and thought that he was circumcised... and so did I!

It wasn't until we shared our decision not to circumcise DS with MIL that she said... umm... what do you mean, you're circumcised? No you're not! She even sent a picture just so we'd know. (ahem - from his childhood!) It took some investigation to figure out what had happened, and it's not that uncommon, but still. Imagine how that conversation with her went!

So, the point is, even though dad is intact, his penis doesn't look like DS's. We'll just explain it when the time comes and move on.

So I have a question for you. What do you mean it retracted during puberty? It's my understanding that all mens foreskin retract during puberty and that depending on their penis growth and the amount of foreskin they have, that its quite common for the foreskin to not cover all of the glans once they are fully developed men.

 

 

 

Oh and just FYI to those who have never seen one in my experience an intact adult aroused man looks identical to a cut one besides the lack of scar and the presence of the frenular delta.

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#23 of 31 Old 01-21-2011, 12:41 PM
 
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"It looks like a little worm"!  And why ever not, until puberty it has only one function, to urinate through, and indicate the gender of the owner.  If it satisfies those functions, it is perfect.  As Hubby says, "It hardly gets bigger, although the rest of you does, until those hormones get going."  "But it's still big enough."  You can take it from him, intact would have been better, but a doctor decided otherwise.

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#24 of 31 Old 01-21-2011, 02:54 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MovnMama View Post

If it helps you philosophically, DH is "intact" but his foreskin retracted during puberty. He actually had forgotten he was intact and thought that he was circumcised... and so did I!



It wasn't until we shared our decision not to circumcise DS with MIL that she said... umm... what do you mean, you're circumcised? No you're not! She even sent a picture just so we'd know. (ahem - from his childhood!) It took some investigation to figure out what had happened, and it's not that uncommon, but still. Imagine how that conversation with her went!



So, the point is, even though dad is intact, his penis doesn't look like DS's. We'll just explain it when the time comes and move on.


 

This is the type of thing I always mean when I talk about the Dr. never knowing how much skin is to much. Obviously had your dh been circed he would have lost way to much skin since he grew all the way into his foreskin. He is one lucky guy.

 
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#25 of 31 Old 01-21-2011, 09:37 PM
 
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I don't mean this to be snarky in any way, but you haven't ever pulled up a picture of one? 

 

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I've never been with an intact man, so I've never seen an adult.
 



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#26 of 31 Old 01-23-2011, 05:01 PM
 
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Originally Posted by JulianneW View Post

So I have a question for you. What do you mean it retracted during puberty? It's my understanding that all mens foreskin retract during puberty and that depending on their penis growth and the amount of foreskin they have, that its quite common for the foreskin to not cover all of the glans once they are fully developed men.

 

 

 

Oh and just FYI to those who have never seen one in my experience an intact adult aroused man looks identical to a cut one besides the lack of scar and the presence of the frenular delta.


 

I think you are right, although I suspect you know a lot more technical terminology than I do. The issue with DH is that the whole foreskin is permanently retracted, even when unaroused. It is common for some of the foreskin to retract in uncirc'ed men, but his doesn't cover any of the head at all whatsoever. It looks like there's no foreskin at all, just a little baggy under the head, but, not to be too technical, doesn't it all look baggy when not aroused, cut or uncut? Anyway, aroused or not, it looks completely circ'ed, even though it's not.

 

An for the record, I have dated uncut men, so I know the difference in how they look. Not being snarky, just trying to clarify the question. shy.gif


K: high school teacher and mama to DS1 (7/07), loss (10/10) and DS2 (7/12). Married to my best friend and soon to be elementary school teacher!
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#27 of 31 Old 01-24-2011, 04:59 AM
 
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Thanks for clarifying! I had never heard of that. It really is impossible know how much foreskin they will need. I agree in my experience they are both a little baggy when flaccid.

And yes I can imagine how surprised him mother would have been! nod.gif

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#28 of 31 Old 01-24-2011, 07:58 AM
 
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The first time our DD (3) saw our DS being bathed as a newborn, she just looked at his penis and finally said: "Look.  Look at that candle, mama."  Later on that night, after he was dressed and everything, she said: "Lemme see that candle again!"

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#29 of 31 Old 01-24-2011, 08:48 AM
 
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My 3 year old thinks his looks like a hot dog.  He loves to retract himself a little and announce look mama hot dog in a wrapper.


oAlisha- eternal companion to mike:, mother to three energetic boys (02):, (05), and (07) and one sweet little girl 3/13.  Two in heaven.7/21/2010, 11/05/2011 mecry.gif.

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#30 of 31 Old 01-24-2011, 08:02 PM
 
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This made me squirt water out of my nose. Too funny! Kids do and say the funniest things! thanks for the laugh!

 

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My 3 year old thinks his looks like a hot dog.  He loves to retract himself a little and announce look mama hot dog in a wrapper.



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