This board is the reason my son is intact! - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 26 Old 11-06-2010, 08:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
stayo22's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 75
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Just wanted to post a "thank you" to this board. I am a free thinker who always questions what I am told. When I found out I was pregnant with a son I landed here in my research about circ. I will admit I have waivered quite a bit .... NOT ONE SINGLE person I know thinks I am right to not circ my son. My family and friends are VERY, VERY mainstream. At times I still think, ahhhh, maybe I should just circ him so a) family won't think I am crazy and b) he will look like all his future friends. BUT, I just keep coming back to this board and re-reading all the reasons why my son should stay as God made him..... PERFECT as is!
And by the way, I have shown all the research from this board to my circ'ed husband and he says "Over his dead body will his son be circed!" So, this board not only changed my mind but it changed his too!

Thanks! (And I am sure my son will one day be thankful for this board too!)
stayo22 is offline  
#2 of 26 Old 11-06-2010, 09:06 PM
 
Fellow Traveler's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Formerly JWhispers
Posts: 2,042
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by stayo22 View Post
Just wanted to post a "thank you" to this board. I am a free thinker who always questions what I am told. When I found out I was pregnant with a son I landed here in my research about circ. I will admit I have waivered quite a bit .... NOT ONE SINGLE person I know thinks I am right to not circ my son. My family and friends are VERY, VERY mainstream. At times I still think, ahhhh, maybe I should just circ him so a) family won't think I am crazy and b) he will look like all his future friends. BUT, I just keep coming back to this board and re-reading all the reasons why my son should stay as God made him..... PERFECT as is!
And by the way, I have shown all the research from this board to my circ'ed husband and he says "Over his dead body will his son be circed!" So, this board not only changed my mind but it changed his too!

Thanks! (And I am sure my son will one day be thankful for this board too!)
That's why we're here, what a lucky boy!

Congratulations, and don't worry about your friends give them time, they may come around.
Fellow Traveler is offline  
#3 of 26 Old 11-06-2010, 09:09 PM
 
Zenbuoyant's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Texas
Posts: 31
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Congratulations on your sweet boy momma!!!

nocirc.gif

Zenbuoyant is offline  
#4 of 26 Old 11-06-2010, 09:14 PM
 
eclipse's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Mexico
Posts: 7,862
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
eclipse is offline  
#5 of 26 Old 11-07-2010, 10:44 AM
 
PuppyFluffer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: East Coast, USA
Posts: 9,177
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Thank you so much for being willing to learn and share what you have learned. Your son is a lucky boy!
I think you will easily come to see intact as normal. As for your son's future friends, none of us have crystal balls. You could move to a more intact friendly part the country, you son could grow up and go to university in Europe and fall in love with a European woman (who would certainly consider intact normal). Just all sorts of scenarios to contemplate. You've left his body as it was created. There is nothing odd or abnormal about that!
Congratulations on your little boy.

"To err is human, to forgive, canine." - Unknown
PuppyFluffer is offline  
#6 of 26 Old 11-07-2010, 11:06 AM
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Canada
Posts: 770
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by stayo22 View Post
I will admit I have waivered quite a bit .... NOT ONE SINGLE person I know thinks I am right to not circ my son. My family and friends are VERY, VERY mainstream.
This bothers me a lot. Your family and friends need a little jolt to enable them to start thinking in a rational manner. Have you tried any comebacks when they oppose your (very sensible) point of view?

Some that I have used on occasion:

"Do you really think nature made a mistake?" .....with the human male?"

"Does it not seem perverse to whack off part of his genitalia?"

"What part would you willingly let the doctor cut off your daughter?"

When you force them to consider any of these questions the answer should be glaringly obvious.

Congratulations on your most logical decision. Your son is very lucky that you are his mom!
hakunangovi is offline  
#7 of 26 Old 11-07-2010, 11:17 AM
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Canada
Posts: 770
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by stayo22 View Post
I will admit I have waivered quite a bit .... NOT ONE SINGLE person I know thinks I am right to not circ my son. My family and friends are VERY, VERY mainstream. !
This bothers me a lot. I think your friends and family need a little jolt to enable them to start thinking in a rational manner. Have you tried any comebacks when they oppose your (very sensible) point of view?

Some that I have used on occasion:

"Do you really think that nature made a mistake? ....with human males?"

"Does it not seem perverse to whack off part of his genitalia?"

"What part would you willingly let the doctor cut off your daughter?"

When faced with any of these questions, the answer is glaringly obvious.

Congratulations on your most logical thought process. Your son is lucky to have you as his mom.
hakunangovi is offline  
#8 of 26 Old 11-07-2010, 11:19 AM
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Canada
Posts: 770
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Sorry - double post - computer locked up and I thought the first one was lost in cyberspace.
hakunangovi is offline  
#9 of 26 Old 11-07-2010, 11:30 AM
 
SeekingJoy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 2,553
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Happy wife to DH superhero.gifand mama to DS signcirc1.gif11/05 and DD energy.gif8/07.
SeekingJoy is offline  
#10 of 26 Old 11-07-2010, 03:13 PM
 
Galatea's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
Posts: 7,156
Mentioned: 35 Post(s)
Tagged: 1 Thread(s)
Quoted: 38 Post(s)
Yay!

I wouldn't worry what your family and friends think. I don't give a fig what my aunts and uncles and parents' friends think about me, and I doubt your son will!

DS1 2004 ~ DS2 2005 ~ DD1 2008 ~ DS3 2010 ~ DD2 due Dec. 2014
On hospital bedrest for pPROM since 23 weeks
Galatea is online now  
#11 of 26 Old 11-07-2010, 09:52 PM
 
lurve's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Phoenix
Posts: 869
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
same exact thing here. my son is intact thanks to this board too. life is a journey and i am so glad i found this path before i hurt my son.

Legal Mama to TWO homebirthed, unschooled, unvaxed, cloth diapered, mei tei loving, still breastfeeding baby girl 1/14/07 and an intact 8 pound 10 ouncer baby boy 4/5/10.
lurve is offline  
#12 of 26 Old 11-07-2010, 10:12 PM
 
Pirogi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 964
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by PuppyFluffer View Post
Thank you so much for being willing to learn and share what you have learned. Your son is a lucky boy!
I think you will easily come to see intact as normal. As for your son's future friends, none of us have crystal balls. You could move to a more intact friendly part the country, you son could grow up and go to university in Europe and fall in love with a European woman (who would certainly consider intact normal). Just all sorts of scenarios to contemplate. You've left his body as it was created. There is nothing odd or abnormal about that!
Congratulations on your little boy.
Or an American woman who considers it normal ... we do exist!
Pirogi is offline  
#13 of 26 Old 11-07-2010, 11:45 PM
 
DJay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 76
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Sure wish you had been my mother!

DJ
DJay is offline  
#14 of 26 Old 11-08-2010, 02:09 PM
 
mum5's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: feeling beachy!
Posts: 1,887
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
good for you!!

I have a son, now 8 months old, and had my first experience with the circ'ing mainstream the other day. One was actually a lady w/ 3 girls and the other a ladt w/ one son and both are my friends, although very new friends, I did feel very wierd discussing my son's penis with them.

They were actually discussing a mutual friend who did not circ her son, and how wierd that they thought it was, dirty, disgusting looking and abnormal. I did have to step in and remind them that most of the world does not circ, just for religious reasons, and that most in the US do it because, well, just because, not really thinking about it.
I felt so wierd after that conversation, but I think that I gave them food for thought.
I am European, and had never come across a circed male until I came to the US.

Me and Dh partners.gif, Dd1bouncy.gif  Dd2dust.gif,Ds1joy.gif, 2flowerkitty.gif, 2hamster.jpgand lots of goldfish.gif

mum5 is online now  
#15 of 26 Old 11-08-2010, 04:19 PM
 
Lauren82's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: TN
Posts: 1,452
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Congrats mama. Chances are that your son will have intact friends as the circumcision rate in the US is on the decline.

heartbeat.gif Mama to 5 busy bees (12, 9, 6, 3, 2) & 3 angel1.gif
Lauren82 is offline  
#16 of 26 Old 11-11-2010, 03:45 PM
 
Kelilah's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 293
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Same here, actually.  I've always been an outspoken pro-circ person, but I'm 10 weeks pregnant now, and over the last couple weeks I felt like I owed it to my potential son to at least give the opposing side a fair chance.  So I've been reading this forum for a bit now, and, well, yeah.  My husband was pro-circ as well but we've both decided to leave this baby intact, regardless of gender.  I'm glad I finally listened with an open heart, and glad y'all had such a wealth of information here.  Thanks.

mum5 likes this.
Kelilah is offline  
#17 of 26 Old 11-12-2010, 10:26 AM
 
mum5's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: feeling beachy!
Posts: 1,887
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by Lauren82 View Post

Congrats mama. Chances are that your son will have intact friends as the circumcision rate in the US is on the decline.



I know quite a few boys that are not circ' ed actually.

My ped told us that about 50% of males in the US are not circ'ed now, which is great news. Not sure on how correct that statement is though.


Me and Dh partners.gif, Dd1bouncy.gif  Dd2dust.gif,Ds1joy.gif, 2flowerkitty.gif, 2hamster.jpgand lots of goldfish.gif

mum5 is online now  
#18 of 26 Old 11-13-2010, 09:09 PM
 
ktgrok's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 163
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Your son will definitely thank you. My 11 year old found out what circumcision was the other day, and when i was done explaining it he said "THANK YOU  for not doing that to me!!!

That made me feel really good, as he never says thank you for anything without being prompted :)

DeannaRussell82 likes this.
ktgrok is offline  
#19 of 26 Old 11-16-2010, 07:26 AM
 
tammylsmith's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Jersey Shore
Posts: 411
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Hi Deanna,

Just wanted to let you know that you can't plan for all complications. My good friend's little guy (4) was circumcized, and the operation was botched... leaving him in constant pain. He will have to have another operation and more pain because of the circumcision. Also, my brother in law's twin brother had what is called meatal stenosis as a toddler. That condition is entirely because of the circumcision too... and he had to have another operation and more pain just to widen the opening of his urethra. Adult onset diabetes can be largely prevented by diet and exercise, so if you want to help your son avoid type II, then train him well in these areas and he will be fine! Also, in the event that he gets circumcized as an adult, he gets lots of pain meds and anesthesia... as a baby, he gets a lolli pop for the same operation... and will still go through the same agonizing pain... and add to that the fear of not knowing what's going on... just won't be able to say anything about it to you.

 

Good luck to you!


Mom to Delia  (5/25/07) and Alex  (4/10/10) and 2 spoiled kitties
tammylsmith is offline  
#20 of 26 Old 11-16-2010, 01:06 PM
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Canada
Posts: 770
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by DeannaRussell82 View Post

My grandfather 7 years ago found out he had diabetes, he was uncircumcised, and the foreskin started to shrink and he had to go get circumcised late in life which caused him all kinds of complications, infections, it was bad. :( So while I don't want to because I just feel it is better for my child. There is that "what if" he gets diabetes and has complications like my grandfather has? I have had 2 grandfathers have the same problems. (sigh)

 

 


Even though I realise that diabetes can, and sometimes does affect the extremeties, I think any recomendation for circumcision has to be suspect.  A foreskin that tightens up a bit is not an emergency. Indeed, there are men who happily live their whole lives with an unretractable foreskin. Consider, also, that in Finland (or was it Sweden) only one man in 16,000 will die without his foreskin. It is evident that in intact cultures it is very rare for circumcision to be needed.  This is the problem with North American doctors - they are trained to whack off a foreskin for any problem, be it real or percieved. In a non circumcising culture they employ more conservative treatments.  They know the value of a foreskin.  Many in our culture don't.  The bottom line - please do not circumcise your son "just in case".  There is no other body part that is treated that way.
 

hakunangovi is offline  
#21 of 26 Old 11-16-2010, 02:10 PM
 
PuppyFluffer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: East Coast, USA
Posts: 9,177
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Also, consider that the man who had a circumcision as an adult at the onset of a medical issue with his foreskin had the benefit of the majority of his lifetime with natural intact genitals.  If amputation was the only treatment left after all other more conservative means had been employed, it was the appropriate thing (possibly).  This is the place for medical intervention.

 

There is no place for amputation of healthy non-diseased tissue on any minor child - a child who cannot understand the ramifications and who cannot give consent.  It is time for the medical community to stop soliciting this act.

 

I have no problem explaining to my child why his father and I left his body as it was designed by who ever creates things in this world (insert your belief of some higher power or natural selection/evolution.) 


"To err is human, to forgive, canine." - Unknown
PuppyFluffer is offline  
#22 of 26 Old 11-16-2010, 03:10 PM
 
MCatLvrMom2A&X's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: With Vin Diesel ;) YUMMMM
Posts: 14,785
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by DeannaRussell82 View Post


 

 

I personally don't want to circumcise my son (I'm only 6-7 weeks pregnant, but feel I'm pregnant with a boy) even if we are having a girl we plan on more so eventually we'll get another boy. My oldest is circumcised with no complications. However, I don't want to circumcise anymore of my sons. But here is where my problem lies. My husband's side of the family has diabetes horribly bad. His grandpa has died from it, just about every other person in his family has diabetes. His dad has it, and everyone gets it around age 40 or so. (Keep in mind my husband is 100% for circumcision, I am not)

 

My grandfather 7 years ago found out he had diabetes, he was uncircumcised, and the foreskin started to shrink and he had to go get circumcised late in life which caused him all kinds of complications, infections, it was bad. :( So while I don't want to because I just feel it is better for my child. There is that "what if" he gets diabetes and has complications like my grandfather has? I have had 2 grandfathers have the same problems. (sigh)

 

My husband thinks we need to for religious reasons, but I've done all kinds of research and OUR version of circumcision is NOT like the bibles. Besides, we aren't that religious anyways, we don't even go to church, I think he is still thinking "old" school ways. Or something. I just want to do what is right by our future sons.
 

My thought on this is what if you and the woman in your family carried the breast cancer gene. Would you consider removing your dd's breast buds because her odds of getting breast cancer are higher? For me it is a no brainer there is no way I would remove them just as there is no way I would circ my ds because something "might" happen later on. The only difference in the two is how they are viewed here in the USA circ is viewed as normal while the radical mastectomy is not for an infant. I hope that you can trust in nature and leave your ds the way nature meant for him to be :)

 

Also it could be that your grandfathers issues steamed from improper care as a child. Back then forced retraction and scrubbing clean was the way it was done. Do you know if they washed with soap? Doing that can and does cause issues for intact men especially those with underlying health issues. What I am saying is the way they where raised probably played a bigger roll than the diabetes in the long run.

 

We cant discuss religion here on the board but I can PM you with more information on that if you want it.

 

Honestly if I had known for a fact while pg with ds that he would grow up to have an issue that required circ I still wouldnt circ him. Why because bottom line it isnt my body to modify. He deserves to be intact for however long before having to live with having less.


 
SAHMlady.gifread.giflovin' trekkie.giffan intactivist.gifwinner.jpg to loveeyes.gifenergy.gifDD 10/00 & superhero.gifmoon.gifDS 10/04 ribbonpb.gifIf your ds is intact, keep him safe, visit the Case Against Circ forumnocirc.gifCirc, a personal choice, Your sonsyes.gifbrokenheart.gif11/98brokenheart.gif6/99ribbonbrown.gifanti-tobaccoribbonyellow.gifThyroid cancer survivor. With cat.gif& goldfish.gif & (Boxer)dog2.gif wishing 4 whale.gif&ribbonwhite.gifsigncirc1.gifselectivevax.gifdelayedvax.gif

MCatLvrMom2A&X is offline  
#23 of 26 Old 11-17-2010, 04:07 AM
 
DJay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 76
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Even if diabetes runs in the family, I would think that being uncircumcised would not be an issue until the man is much older than the age where he could make that decision for himself.  If he were to become diabetic ... would he need a circumcision before he turned 18? Probably not.  Let him grow up. If he becomes diabetic as an adult, or even as a child, when he is a young adult, he can weigh the risks and decide for himself whether he want to be circumcised now so that it might not be a problem later.  Circumcising him as an infant for something that might happen 50 years later, just does not seem an compelling or urgent reason to do it as a newborn. 

 

Let him decide this himself. Besides, at least he would have the opportunity to enjoy his foreskin for part of his life. 

 

DJay

DJay is offline  
#24 of 26 Old 11-17-2010, 08:46 PM
 
DeannaRussell82's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 7
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
DeannaRussell82 is offline  
#25 of 26 Old 11-18-2010, 04:36 AM
 
MCatLvrMom2A&X's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: With Vin Diesel ;) YUMMMM
Posts: 14,785
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
goodvibes.gif that your dh makes the right decision and if he dosnt then goodvibes.gif that you will stand your ground and protect your ds. Many of us had to do that including me and our dh's love our ds's just as much as they ever would have. My own dh is still not anti circ but he totally gets it now that it should be the choice of the one who owns the penis. You might want to find some resources for him to read because he may run across pro circ sites on the net and you will need a way to refute that.

I did want to say though that when you say it is all on your dh that isnt true it is your ds who will suffer should the circ be done. Not only with the pain after but with the life long effects. I am glad your first ds had no obvious complications dosnt mean that he wont have issues with tight skin and painful erections down the road.

 
SAHMlady.gifread.giflovin' trekkie.giffan intactivist.gifwinner.jpg to loveeyes.gifenergy.gifDD 10/00 & superhero.gifmoon.gifDS 10/04 ribbonpb.gifIf your ds is intact, keep him safe, visit the Case Against Circ forumnocirc.gifCirc, a personal choice, Your sonsyes.gifbrokenheart.gif11/98brokenheart.gif6/99ribbonbrown.gifanti-tobaccoribbonyellow.gifThyroid cancer survivor. With cat.gif& goldfish.gif & (Boxer)dog2.gif wishing 4 whale.gif&ribbonwhite.gifsigncirc1.gifselectivevax.gifdelayedvax.gif

MCatLvrMom2A&X is offline  
#26 of 26 Old 11-18-2010, 11:16 AM
 
MCatLvrMom2A&X's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: With Vin Diesel ;) YUMMMM
Posts: 14,785
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
DeannaRussell82 I just sent you a PM please let me know if you got it smile.gif

It is great that you are doing this now rather than later. Even if it turns out you are having a girl it is better to get such an important thing settled ASAP so that there isnt any surprises after you give birth and are not at your strongest.


 
SAHMlady.gifread.giflovin' trekkie.giffan intactivist.gifwinner.jpg to loveeyes.gifenergy.gifDD 10/00 & superhero.gifmoon.gifDS 10/04 ribbonpb.gifIf your ds is intact, keep him safe, visit the Case Against Circ forumnocirc.gifCirc, a personal choice, Your sonsyes.gifbrokenheart.gif11/98brokenheart.gif6/99ribbonbrown.gifanti-tobaccoribbonyellow.gifThyroid cancer survivor. With cat.gif& goldfish.gif & (Boxer)dog2.gif wishing 4 whale.gif&ribbonwhite.gifsigncirc1.gifselectivevax.gifdelayedvax.gif

MCatLvrMom2A&X is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off