So should I change pediatricians? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 12 Old 12-01-2010, 02:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I posted many months ago, back when I was pregnant with ds, about an irritating exchange with one of the 6 doctors in my pediatric practice. He was not my regular doctor, and in fact, that was the first time in 3 years I had even seen him. He just spouted some block headed comment about how, when parents are on the fence, he just recommends they "go ahead and get it over with, to avoid buyer's remorse later" and when I brought up the AAP's statement, he said they were an "ivory tower organization" and he had many years of experience dealing with phimosis, etc.

 

Well I'm sure I don't need to tell anybody here what a load of horse phooey that is, and just know that I wrote that doc off (will not take either of my kids to see him, etc.)

 

So at my last visit. I made a point of telling one of my more regular docs how mad this made me, and he apologized for the other Dr's bias.... and then proceeded to tell me

 

"you know that uncircumcized men are more likely to pass HPV to their partners"

 

--- until I shot him down by adding "well that's what condoms are for"

 

 

then it was

"you know cleaning will be an issue"

 

-- didn't say anything here, but duh, I had a baby girl... talk about cleaning as an issue. wouldn't it be easier to keep from having to trim my daughter's fingernails, if I removed her fingers? How about taking out those pesky teeth so I don't have to deal with the issue of brushing them?

 

finally, he said something dumb akin to the locker room argument, but I wasn't listening at that point.

 

 

 

He did know not to touch or retract an intact penis and that it wouldn't become retractable until much later... and I really have liked this doctor in the past. He is a lot of fun and great with kids. He is just obviously biased himself but I'm not sure what to do.

 

 

Should I go looking for another pedi? It seems drastic to change practices, since intact penises aren't that much trouble and I don't foresee a problem... there are many pediatricians in my area, so I'm sure I can find an intact friendly one. I could always just find a backup doc? It's just that the ethical divide between this doc's and my own views on circumcision might make it hard for me not to dislike him in the future. Am I being extreme? SHould I find another pedi just as a backup? Need opinions please! Thanks everyone :)


Mom to Delia  (5/25/07) and Alex  (4/10/10) and 2 spoiled kitties
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#2 of 12 Old 12-01-2010, 04:15 PM
 
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I would probably just let him know that as much as you respect him, you don't believe all the pro-circ "arguments" and this is not something you will EVER consider for your children.  If you feel that strongly about it, you might slip in something about protecting your child's right to his bodily integrity.  Flat out tell him to stop soliciting unnecessary surgery.  If he respects that, then I wouldn't switch.  If you are in an area with a high circ rate, he may just not be used to meeting parents like you.  He may even think you are looking for a reason to go ahead and do it.  He probably truly believes in all the pro arguments, and that's a shame, but if hes an otherwise good doctor, I see no reason to switch. 

 

If he can't respect you, then yes, I would switch ASAP. 

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#3 of 12 Old 12-01-2010, 04:51 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tammylsmith View Post


I posted many months ago, back when I was pregnant with ds, about an irritating exchange with one of the 6 doctors in my pediatric practice. He was not my regular doctor, and in fact, that was the first time in 3 years I had even seen him. He just spouted some block headed comment about how, when parents are on the fence, he just recommends they "go ahead and get it over with, to avoid buyer's remorse later" and when I brought up the AAP's statement, he said they were an "ivory tower organization" and he had many years of experience dealing with phimosis, etc.



 



Well I'm sure I don't need to tell anybody here what a load of horse phooey that is, and just know that I wrote that doc off (will not take either of my kids to see him, etc.)



 



So at my last visit. I made a point of telling one of my more regular docs how mad this made me, and he apologized for the other Dr's bias.... and then proceeded to tell me



 



"you know that uncircumcized men are more likely to pass HPV to their partners"



 



--- until I shot him down by adding "well that's what condoms are for"



 



 



then it was



"you know cleaning will be an issue"



 



-- didn't say anything here, but duh, I had a baby girl... talk about cleaning as an issue. wouldn't it be easier to keep from having to trim my daughter's fingernails, if I removed her fingers? How about taking out those pesky teeth so I don't have to deal with the issue of brushing them?



 



finally, he said something dumb akin to the locker room argument, but I wasn't listening at that point.



 



 



 



He did know not to touch or retract an intact penis and that it wouldn't become retractable until much later... and I really have liked this doctor in the past. He is a lot of fun and great with kids. He is just obviously biased himself but I'm not sure what to do.



 



 



Should I go looking for another pedi? It seems drastic to change practices, since intact penises aren't that much trouble and I don't foresee a problem... there are many pediatricians in my area, so I'm sure I can find an intact friendly one. I could always just find a backup doc? It's just that the ethical divide between this doc's and my own views on circumcision might make it hard for me not to dislike him in the future. Am I being extreme? SHould I find another pedi just as a backup? Need opinions please! Thanks everyone smile.gif






Since he is so good with your kids I would keep him but I would look for a Dr. who actually knows about the intact penis should something come up with your ds. Because obviously if it does this Dr. is going to be no help at all.

None of the Dr. in my kids ped. practice are intact knowledgeable and are pro circ but they are good Dr.'s otherwise and the office hours are great so I keep them. Sometimes you just have to do what you have to do IYKWIM.


 
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#4 of 12 Old 12-01-2010, 05:36 PM
 
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If he knows not to retract, then why does he think cleaning is such an issue???

 

I agree with bandgeek.


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#5 of 12 Old 12-01-2010, 05:44 PM
 
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If the other doctor sees "a lot" of phimosis cases then they are probably his fault and he's lucky the parents involved haven't sued him.

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#6 of 12 Old 12-01-2010, 05:56 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by sapphire_chan View Post

If the other doctor sees "a lot" of phimosis cases then they are probably his fault and he's lucky the parents involved haven't sued him.



I sure would, though I would know what I was talking about first and hopefully not get into that situation. I'm lucky that my doctor is intact with an intact son (he's Indian, so I asked him back when I was expecting). He doesn't treat kids, but he referred me to his pedi, who is American, but has inact sons. Maybe I'll have a chat with this other doc and hold onto his phone number, just in case. I will have a talk with my own doc too. Who knows if it will do any good, but he'll know not to cross me wink1.gif


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#7 of 12 Old 12-01-2010, 07:34 PM
 
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I think that if you can find a truly intact friendly doctor, then it's worth making the switch. Only once have I ever had the luxury of one of those doctors and he was 70 years old (and also retired shortly after)

I'll never forget when I gave him the lecture before opening ds's diaper and he just looked at me and said he never understood why the heck anyone feels the need to hack off ANY part of a baby. love.gif

 

The ped I have now knows that I am a lion when it comes to foreskin. He's not exactly intact friendly but he never tried to retract or touch ds's penis. He's fine with no vax so that's why I stay with him. On that coin though, there is another ped in the practice that is a total UAV about no vax and got into a yelling match with me about it. Can't have it all I guess. Good luck with whatever you decide.


Mama to 5 busy bees (12, 9, 7, 3, 2) and expecting #6 June/2014

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#8 of 12 Old 12-02-2010, 08:23 AM
 
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I think it's a tough call. If you're overall happy with that office, it might be hard to find someone better. It never hurts to look around and see if there's someone out there more in line with your own views, but it's tough to find anyone who is perfect.


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#9 of 12 Old 12-02-2010, 08:42 AM - Thread Starter
 
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That's a good point. There is not a perfect doctor out there... it's about finding the best fit. My favorite part about this practice is that they have 6 docs (well, 5 docs and a useless windbag) and they all do a rotation at my local hospital, so when I call with a sick kid at 3  in the morning, it's a familiar voice I'm speaking with. There are two I really like, the guy, mentioned above, disappointed me, but he is a really fun, nice guy who wears superhero shirts and ties and always remembers to greet us by name and like he knows us, despite seeing hundreds of patients and parents. The woman I like is very sweet and gentle. She nursed her first son past a year and is nursing her second (I'm thinking she circ'd because she didn't volunteer any information when I talked to her about my son being intact) but has never given me any sort of a pressure sell on anything (vax, child care technics... anything) I might just have a talk with Mr Doc... to let him know my feelings on the issue and see what he says. I can always just switch to Ms Doc for my son's well visits.


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#10 of 12 Old 12-02-2010, 09:13 AM
 
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Almost all heterosexual males with hpv got it from an uncircumcised woman...why are males the target of this bizarre public health tactic? Men don't spontaniously generate hpv.
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#11 of 12 Old 12-02-2010, 02:00 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PlainandTall View Post

Almost all heterosexual males with hpv got it from an uncircumcised woman...why are males the target of this bizarre public health tactic? Men don't spontaniously generate hpv.


lol.gif  thank you.  i will use this in the future.

 

nak

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#12 of 12 Old 12-02-2010, 02:05 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PlainandTall View Post

Almost all heterosexual males with hpv got it from an uncircumcised woman...why are males the target of this bizarre public health tactic? Men don't spontaniously generate hpv.


I like this. lol.gif

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