trip to dr's re: 8 yr old ds's penis - Mothering Forums

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Old 12-06-2010, 02:17 PM - Thread Starter
 
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We are taking our 8 1/2 yr old to our family dr. this week as we are concerned that he has a very small penis.  I know, still time to grow and all that, but compared to his brothers it really seems quite minute.  He also has a very tight foreskin, the hole at the tip is so tiny and has barely budged since he was an infant.  His last check-up, when he was 6 or so, the dr mentioned circumcision given the tightness of his foreskin.  I am very anti-circ., so is my hubby, so of course we never pursued her 'advice'.  On our visit this week I am anxious already that the dr. will start talking about circ. b/c of his foreskin, and I am also nervous she will relate his small penis size to the tight foreskin.  I'm wondering if a tight f/s has any impact at all on penis growth?  Has anyone else dealt with this kind of situation?


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Old 12-06-2010, 02:22 PM
 
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I wouldnt let her even look at it. He is still to young to worry about being retractable and all boys are different in penis size. When he hits puberty he very well might start to develop there along with everywhere else. The foreskin has nothing to do with overall size of the penis other than the overhang making it appear a bit longer. Circ certainly wont help him have a bigger penis it will make it smaller. Since the tip of the foreskin is a sphincter like the anus you cannot tell by looking how big it is since it changes from hour to hour and if he is urinating as not.

Just dont let the Dr. do a genital exam. I no longer allow them on my kids stopped when dd was 4 and ds 5 because it isnt needed and they are uncomfortable with it

Does he have large fat pad or does his penis appear to be shorter like most of the shaft might be inside? There is a condition known as tethered penis and circ is 100% contradicted for that condition. It can be fixed by a surgery where they cut the attachments inside the body without going anywhere near the foreskin but with something like that I wouldnt think to do it until puberty was well established.

 
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Old 12-06-2010, 02:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you for the reply.  His penis is quite short.  There is no overhang of foreskin, which I have noticed on my other two boys (my 3 yr old is fully retractable and my 5 yr old almost).   I found an article re: penis size that gives a measurement of 2.4 - 2.5" stretched as 'normal', and 1.5" as 'abnormal'.  I don't like the idea of having ds measure his penis but I will talk to dh about doing this, better for us to be reassured and skip the dr's visit than have the dr go on about the unrelated issue of a tight f/s and measure his penis anyway.


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Old 12-06-2010, 02:54 PM
 
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My worry about measuring him is that at his age he is going to wonder why and he may start to feel that something is wrong with him. If you can think of a way to do it without giving him that impression then it isnt a problem but honestly I wouldnt do it.

Is the measurements you found for a child or adult? because the 2 are going to be very different.

 
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Old 12-06-2010, 03:21 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yes, that is definitely something to think about.  He is prone to fretting.  With this measurement in mind, dh or I can perhaps check him out without actually doing a measurement.  The chart is for children, with age ranges: http://www.drgreene.com/qa/penis-size-defined?pagination=1.  Given this graph, it would seem a measurement of 2" stretched would be in the normal range.  I would love to cancel the dr's appt. 


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Old 12-06-2010, 03:58 PM
 
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If you do go just dont bring up anything about his penis since this Dr. obviously dosnt know anything about intact. If you do wish to talk to someone I would find an intact knowledgable Dr. to take him to. You can find one through dropposingcirc

 
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Old 12-06-2010, 04:10 PM
 
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Someone has to be on the small and the large end of those size ranges. With buried penis you typically will only see the head of the penis and in extreme cases, none at all. This is usually caused by circ or can be caused by obesity.

 

I can see the doctor ending up doing more harm than good, especially regarding your son's foreskin and the fact he isn't retracting yet. If it were my son, I would leave it be, especially if he is urinating just fine and has no problems other than it's just small. At his age, he's going to remember the trip to the doctor about his penis and probably would get very self conscious about it. If he does have an actual medical condition, wouldn't it be better to let him decide how he wants it dealt with when he is an adult? If it is something that requires surgery, he would be able to make the decisions as to how he wants to proceed and what he wants the end result to be.


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Old 12-06-2010, 06:04 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for the replies.  To be clear, we are absolutely not considering circumcision at all.  His foreskin is tight but (as I keep reassuring my dh) this can be quite normal and he is not having any issues with it. 


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Old 12-06-2010, 06:05 PM
 
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My son's father who is intact had only a 'small looking penis when flaccid but when he was aroused it grew bigger .  Also, the thing I can say is that with your son now he hasn't even hit puberty yet he's only 8 so I'm for sure he's not done growing in that department.

 

I wouldn't worry about him not being retractable yet foreskin becomes untight when it's ready too and my son is only 6 and he's partially retractable and if he wasn't retractable I wouldn't worry because his dad wasn't retractable until he was around 11 or 12 .

 

 

 

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Old 12-06-2010, 07:04 PM
 
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My Oldest son is 8.  He isn't much bigger then my 4 year old.  They don't start to grow until puberty.  Usually between 10 and 14 years old.


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Old 12-06-2010, 10:29 PM
 
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dont bring it up dont talk to the dr. dont messure just let it go what he gets he gets nothing can be done. he is healthy, he is not in pain, i wouldnt worry. i would fear of putting my fears on to him and giving him a complex of always thinking his penis is small. trust me it will stick with him even if he becomes very largeshy.gif

 

if i was worried all i would ask is when he gets a errection does it hurt. i might worry a bit if he was getting a errection and it was painful due to there not being enough foreskin to acomidate the size.

 

my ds's foreskin is still very tight and closed. he is 4 i dont worry at all.  

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Old 12-06-2010, 10:39 PM
 
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My worry about measuring him is that at his age he is going to wonder why and he may start to feel that something is wrong with him. If you can think of a way to do it without giving him that impression then it isnt a problem but honestly I wouldnt do it.

Is the measurements you found for a child or adult? because the 2 are going to be very different.



here's how you measure it without a measuring tool: get him to get it in whatever position or "stretch" it is supposed to be, and use your hand, or a piece of clothes, a book, whatever's handy to put next to it, starting at the edge of the book (for example) and when you get it in position, simply mark the spot on the item where the end measurement is. i use this technique all the time when i'm trying to estimate something and i don't have a measuring tape handy -- i usually will use my arm starting at the elbow and however long i measure, i just put my finger on my arm where it ends. it's a pretty good estimate. if it were my son, and i was the dad trying to get an estimated measurement, i would probably find a way to just use my hand, maybe find a way to stretch his hand out next to the stretched penis and take a quick measurement from wrist to however far up toward the knuckles.


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Old 12-07-2010, 02:05 AM
 
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I wouldn't worry about it. Conditions like micropenis are normally observed at birth. And it sounds like she saw his penis when he was 6 or so, I think if it was abnormally small, she would have noticed then. Men come in a wide range of sizes, and your son's isn't even done growing yet. Not to mention that some men's penises greatly increase in size when they get an erection. So while it might look small flaccid, as an adult it could be more than adequate when erect. What you see now is not at all an indication of what he'll have when he's grown.
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Old 12-07-2010, 02:52 AM
 
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I think it sounds like a very bad idea to measure your son's penis or to see the doctor about its size. Any focus on his penis size is likely to make him worry that it might be too small, even in the future. This might have a very negative effect on his self confidence, as it can cause worries about being good enough sexually. It doesn't take very much for a boy to start worrying about that!

There is no way of telling how much his penis will grow during puberty, or how big it will be when erect when he is an adult. As long as he has no problem peeing and doesn't complain about any pain, there is no reason to believe that there is a problem.

 

Even if your son's penis should turn out to be smaller than average, what are you going to do about it? A doctor who is not knowledgeable about a normal penis might very well recommend some fiddling with the foreskin, some stretching or whatnot, while the foreskin is actually irrelevant to the size of the penis. I think it is very unlikely that anything positive can come out of any focus on your son's penis size, and a considerable risk that it can affect him negatively.

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Old 12-07-2010, 06:38 AM
 
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If he's not in pain and he's peeing okay, there's no reason to see a doctor about this. Especially not one that's not knowledgable about intact penises. I wouldn't even let the doc look at it.

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Old 12-07-2010, 07:06 AM
 
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Thanks for this post. One of my sons is very small in this area compared to the others, and he has even commented on it. I wanted to see a chart of normal sizes for kids but REALLY did not want to Google it for fear of what might come up. I just hope he ends up in the normal range at the age when it matters to him.


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Old 12-07-2010, 07:50 AM
 
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I completely agree with rabbitmum!  How would it make a pre-adolescent female feel to have her mother fretting over her breast size, or her labial size or shape, or the size of her rear end?  Good gracious, that would not be good!

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Old 12-07-2010, 08:53 AM
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My nephew had a very small penis and scrotum compared to my boys and to his brother.  Then between three and four years of age, it grew to a normal proportion.  No idea why, that seems to be just his individual growth pattern.  It might be the same thing with your son.

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Old 12-07-2010, 06:55 PM
 
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Quote:
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I completely agree with rabbitmum!  How would it make a pre-adolescent female feel to have her mother fretting over her breast size, or her labial size or shape, or the size of her rear end?  Good gracious, that would not be good!

I agree.  I think there is only one thing that parents (and all adults!) should do to their children's private parts: Leave them alone unless medically indicated!  (this, is not medically indicated). 
 


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Old 12-07-2010, 10:00 PM
 
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All of this is repetitive, but I wanted to underscore what others have said.

We have four (intact) boys, and all four are different in size and look of the penis and foreskin. Ironically, the smallest in overall stature is by far the most endowed, at least right now. In fact, for our four, penis size seems to be inversely proportional to overall size (eg height and weight)! wink1.gif

Despite this, i am not at all worried. They are just who and what they are, just like your sons.

I agree with pp that nothing good and helpful can come of measuring or discussing size, especially in comparative terms. It is absolutely impossible to know if he will be a boy whose flaccid size increases during puberty, nor whether he will be a man whose penis grows substantially with erections as an adult. (Some men really "grow" while others harden rather than grow.)

I also agree with pp -- what would knowing this information "help?" there isn't a treatment for a small (but perfectly healthy) penis. The only thing that you might check would be hormonal levels -- eg testosterone and growth hormone, if he is small in stature -- but you should know what the treatment options would be, even if you find an issue ... No treatment is without risks and side effects, so be aware that when you go fishing, sometimes you catch a fish that you don't want to eat. Or something like that. wink1.gif

Bottom line, if he is able to urinate and is not uncomfortable, leave it alone.

And i am so happy that circ is not an option!! (it would only exacerbate the small appearance anyway, as others have said).

Good luck, and please post an update on your sweet boy and his appointment.

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Old 12-10-2010, 09:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Update - we did go see the dr.  He also gets a bleeding nose really often and that's another reason we were going.  My dh did get a very basic measure of my son's penis (no measuring tape, no comments).  According to the linked chart, it is small.  However, the dr gave him a very cursory look (our concern written down in advance in her chart, so nothing would need to be said out loud or pointed out in front of ds).  She did not mention the tight foreskin (all my fears for nothing, thankfully) and did not attempt any manipulation of his penis at all.  She later told dh that he is fine, and that 'there would be no treatment for it anyway'. 

 

I wanted to say thanks for all of your comments. I found the comments from the other parents mentioning the different sizes of their boys' 'parts' helped to allay my fears.  I am not worrying about this any longer.


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