tight foreskin on 5.5 year old doc recommending circumcision now Help!!! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 10 Old 03-18-2011, 01:09 PM - Thread Starter
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Hi everyone,


My son is 5.5 now and we did not circumcise him at birth (although my husband really wanted me too!).  I have not retracted his foreskin nor have I allowed anyone else to.  At his 4 year old visit we had a great doc (she was german) she did metion that his foresin was tight (it has NEVER been pulled back very far) and that during bath time I should encourage my son to pull back the foreskin, I have been doing that (ok not every time) at his last well visit, we just moved and have a new doc, she was really concerned that his foreskin would not go back and said we were going to need to have this taken care of, I of course freaked out and now my husband thinks we should of done it at birth.  I have my son try and retract it and he doesn't go very far before he says it hurts, what do I do?!?!?!?  Thanks!




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#2 of 10 Old 03-18-2011, 02:57 PM
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You don't need to do anything. Typical (average) age for retraction is 10.5 years. At this point as long as he is able to urinate, there is nothing to worry about, ballooning is normal too BTW. Hang on I'll try to dig up a resource for you.


ETA: Here you go: http://www.cirp.org/library/normal/


ETAA: Having him try and retract at each bath isn't a bad idea but make sure he doesn't feel the need to go too far. Giving him instructions to retract at each bath will build a good habit for the future but you want to make sure he knows to only go as far as it's comfortable and that eventually he should be able to go all the way back, but there is no pressure or time table on that.

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#3 of 10 Old 03-18-2011, 05:15 PM
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Your doc doesn't seem educated about proper Intact care and foreskin development (mine isn't either so I feel your pain). 


Listen to the ladies on this board, they are wise.  There is a ton of research and support to NOT forcibly retract any child's foreskin EVER for any reason.  It will only cause problems. 


Do not let this doc forcibly retract your son.  He has until adulthood to become fully retractable!

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#4 of 10 Old 03-18-2011, 05:19 PM
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Here is something written by the AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics) about proper Intact care.  Print it off to show her that your son and his penis are just fine and don't need to be messed with!  :O)



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#5 of 10 Old 03-18-2011, 07:05 PM
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The biggest problem that the average intact male will ever have is that someone THINKS he has a problem!!!  Which is exactly the case with your son.  The only problem he has is that the doc thinks he has a problem.  QUIT retracting him!    If he can pee, he's fine.  Get a new doc ASAP!!   It's really creepy that she's fiddling with a 5 yo.'s private parts. 

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#6 of 10 Old 03-18-2011, 07:49 PM
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I had a ped who was worried at my son's 1yr appt. She was completely uneducated, but she had me freaking out.  I asked my husband and my fil, both french about it and they both were shocked, saying that it didn't happen until 8 and 10yrs old.  Sure enough, at 10 is when it happened for him.  My almost 6yo has a fairly loose foreskin, but it doesn't retract all of the way.  Both have been different, but 5yo would be very early for a natural retraction.  Do some more research. Your son is normal.

Our children make a study of us in a way no one else ever will.  If we don't act according to our values, they will know.~Starhawk Rainbow.gif  New  User Agreement! http://www.mothering.com/community/wiki/user-agreement

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#7 of 10 Old 03-18-2011, 08:05 PM
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Like everyone else is saying your ds is fine and the Dr. just is not educated about the intact penis. I highly recommend that from here on out unless your ds is having an issue with his penis that you no longer allow them to touch his penis. Testicle checks are OK but make it clear that they are not allowed to touch his penis. That way they will not be able to scare you with bad advice. Your ds will retract when his penis is ready to do so.

SAHMlady.gifread.giflovin' trekkie.giffan intactivist.gifwinner.jpg to loveeyes.gifenergy.gifDD 10/00 & superhero.gifmoon.gifDS 10/04 ribbonpb.gifIf your ds is intact, keep him safe, visit the Case Against Circ forumnocirc.gifCirc, a personal choice, Your sonsyes.gifbrokenheart.gif11/98brokenheart.gif6/99ribbonbrown.gifanti-tobaccoribbonyellow.gifThyroid cancer survivor. With cat.gif& goldfish.gif & (Boxer)dog2.gif wishing 4 whale.gif&ribbonwhite.gifsigncirc1.gifselectivevax.gifdelayedvax.gif

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#8 of 10 Old 03-18-2011, 10:37 PM
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If it hurts, then don't make him do it.  If pee comes out of it, then it is fine.  Just leave it alone.


Don't let pediatricians test it in the future.  No good will come of it.  If they accidentally push a bit too hard they may forcibly retract it.  This can lead to infection or even paraphimosis.

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#9 of 10 Old 03-19-2011, 12:46 AM
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The posters above said it all. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. There is nothing wrong with your son or his foreskin. It is common for the foreskin to not be retractable until the pre-teen years, or sometimes not until puberty. If his penis functions fine, I would not suggest anyone try to retract it unless your son wants to mess with it himself. I would not suggest to him that he try to retract it, just let him do his own thing. I would not let the doctor touch his penis at all unless he develops some sort of issue, and then I would make sure he is NOT retracted as the retraction itself could cause issues.  If my son's pediatrician argues with me about the issue, even faced with the facts on paper, I would change docs, but that is just me. Why bother with a doc who is going to act like that. Above all you must protect your son. Remember that you pay the doc to provide services for you. If you are not happy with the service, take your business elsewhere


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#10 of 10 Old 03-20-2011, 03:54 AM
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Originally Posted by zensven42 View Post

Remember that you pay the doc to provide services for you. If you are not happy with the service, take your business elsewhere




Your son is *fine*. Find a new doctor, and do not worry about his perfectly normal, self-cleaning, fully-functioning penis! winky.gif

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