I'd been nervous to bring it up - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 6 Old 03-21-2011, 10:13 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Though my husband and I are firmly decided on not circumcising our to-be-born son, I hadn't planned on making any kind of statement about it to our families, let alone telling anyone who wouldn't be changing his diapers.  I'm not emotionally ready to be an activist yet.  I have two brothers who are circumcised, and my family is religious and fairly conservative, so I didn't know how anyone would react. 

 

Then someone asked me at my baby shower, in front of everyone, if we were planning to do it.  Here I was, alone, without my husband for moral support, facing a roomful of mothers, many of whom had circ'd sons.  I took a breath, and said confidently, "No, we're not going to do it."  What happened next was most unexpected.

 

Every single one of them voiced that they were happy we decided not to (honestly they looked relieved), and how much pain their sons were in after.  At least two said they regretted doing it, one who said it was her husband who was adamant that it be done and how upset she was.  I never expected such a positive reaction to our decision, thinking, at best, that they would think it was weird or something.  I expected to have to explain the benefits and proper care, to change minds on myths and rumors about it.  Instead, I found more support than I ever expected.

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#2 of 6 Old 03-21-2011, 10:37 AM
 
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Thanks for sharing! That made my day!

 

I'm proud of you for diving in to what you expected to be shark-infested waters. You could have taken the easy way out and said you hadn't decided yet, but you took the plunge. Hooray for you!


If the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.

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#3 of 6 Old 03-24-2011, 07:26 AM
 
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Thanks for sharing!  I didn't purposefully tell my family either, but it didn't seem to be an issue once my son was born, except with my Dad.  My son is 4.5 mths and he's still asking me when I'm going to circumsize my son.  I just change the subject because he's so stubborn there's no getting through to him, especially after he starts saying how sick and disgusting it is that we didn't circ' him. 


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#4 of 6 Old 03-24-2011, 07:29 AM
 
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That's an amazing and unexpected reaction!  What a great feeling!

 

I'm not bringing it up either unless directly asked, and then I'll make it an issue we aren't discussing!  As in, "No, we aren't."  End of story!

 

So happy for you and your soon-to-be-left-intact son!!


Carrie SAHM to Nora Caitlyn (5) and Finnley Dax (2) homebirthing, breastfeeding, babywearing, intactivist, doula mama!         
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#5 of 6 Old 03-25-2011, 01:20 AM
 
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Great story! It's always great when you get support from places you never expected.

I was also very surprised, pleasantly, when an old HS friend from the Midwest asked me if I was going to circ. I said "HELL NO, we are atheists, why would we do that? Plus, it's not mine to cut!" And she said "GREAT, I was going to try to talk you out of it, it's good to see you are also against it!"

This has happened countless times, even though Im not an activist per say ( I will voice my opinion when asked though). I haven't had a single negative reaction. A few people were a little surprised, but not in a bad way.

I'm SO GLAD the tide is turning. Children have bodily autonomy too!!!
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#6 of 6 Old 03-29-2011, 01:53 PM
 
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That's so awesome!

I remember before my son was born my mother would make comments in passing about how so many of the older patients that come into the doctor's office she works in have to be circ'd. Then after he was born she was watching me change him, and mentioned it again. I told her that the research I did was effective in convincing me that it wasn't necessary and could actually be detrimental to him to have him circ'd, and that if he wants to have it done when he's older then I'll support that. She said, "I think y'all made the right decision." blush.gif I was surprised, but pleased.

 

My mother has been very supportive of my determination to breastfeed my babies and was present at all 3 of their midwife-attended birth center births, so I was happy that she was supportive of this choice, also, even if she didn't completely agree.  

 

My MIL on the other hand.....eyesroll.gif


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