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#1 of 22 Old 03-27-2011, 09:58 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Ok,

 

My son is 13 months old. I did not circ him, under much fighting against my husband. I have just left it basically alone, all this time.

 

I occasionally look under the skin, pull it back just slightly to inspect the size of the opening, and his opening. I never pull it back any harder than, say it would be moved naturally in his diaper. I notice that the opening is gettting larger and larger as he gets older. Happy about that, thought everything was going good....

 

This week, had my family from out of state here, things were very hectic in the house, out of routine, etc... Sisters bathed my kids, other ones changed his diaper, I was mostly cooking, etc...In otherwords haven't been paying much attention to his diaper area.

 

Today, my husband noticed that the tip of his penis was red. This is after I took off his diaper this am, and it was so stong in ammonia smell! Like the worst I have ever smelled-cloth diapers.... I was letting him air out, crawl around without diaper on, and husband saw this. We looked under his foreskin, it is red, slightly swollen, inflamed, and has about three small ulcerations? At first they looked like scratches, but I can tell they are like ulcerations in the skin. I wondered if he had scratched himself, but now I am almost postitive that they have been caused by something like the urine getting in there and destroying the delicate skin.????Am I right?

 

My husband immediately cried "infection" and blamed me. I get a lot of constant pressure that I did the absolute wrong thing, so it is hard for me to keep confident. To me it doesn't look infected, no pus. Looks definately inflamed.

 

Also noticed that the top part of the foreskin is attached to the head, while the lower part has come off of the head. Is this normal? Also notice a couple of white dots right at the head attachement, which I think are normal. I have seen circs done, and the Dr scrapes these off while seperating the skin from the head.

 

Any thoughts of what I should be doing and if this is ok? Thinking of putting some A&D  ointment or neosporin on skin. Gave him a soaker bath, change his diaper very often.......

 

Thanks in advance.


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#2 of 22 Old 03-27-2011, 11:49 AM
 
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Please stop messing with your son foreskin because there is no need to look under or check to see how wide the opening is and please tell your dh to not do it because it can be harmful so it's only up to your son to Retract his Own Foreskin when he is ready to retract there is No Need for Any Parents to Retract foreskin .

 

All a parent should do with a intact boys foreskin Wipe Only on the outside and do not even touch it when they are in bath.

 

Also, neosporin should never be used in genital region some people have severe reaction to it .

 

 

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#3 of 22 Old 03-27-2011, 12:40 PM
 
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Is it possible that while someone else was caring for him that they retracted him? Many people dont know that they are never supposed to try to retract. It seems that you where not aware of that either since you have moved it before?

It isnt an infection is my guess he was either retracted by one of your family members or he scratched it or he has started the natural separation process. You treat it by putting bacatracin on there and if that dosnt show improvement in 24-48 hours then you need to take him in to have a swab done of the tip only no retraction to see if he has a bacteria or yeast going on.

Here is a thread about issues that may come up during his growth http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=764732 from natural retraction issues to infections and how to help you see the difference and what to do about it.

I would remind your dh that woman get infections down there to and we dont go cutting bits off them to fix it. Circed boys get infections as well.

 
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#4 of 22 Old 03-27-2011, 01:21 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by Mom2Brendan View Post

Please stop messing with your son foreskin because there is no need to look under or check to see how wide the opening is and please tell your dh to not do it because it can be harmful so it's only up to your son to Retract his Own Foreskin when he is ready to retract there is No Need for Any Parents to Retract foreskin .

 

All a parent should do with a intact boys foreskin Wipe Only on the outside and do not even touch it when they are in bath.

 

Also, neosporin should never be used in genital region some people have severe reaction to it .

 

 


Well, thanks so much for your ever so abrasive and educational response.....

 

As a person who is unsure about their decision, and who wants the best for their child, coming to this forum for some support and advice. If you would go to a pediatrician, you never know what kind of reaction your going to get. We are new to the area we just moved in, barely got a new doctor for our kids, and dont really know what his stance is on circumcision. I have had one appt with him for my son, and he barely looked at his penis.

 

Anyway, I did do quite a bit of reading about circumcision before I had him, and made my decision. I do know the fact that you dont need to mess with them. The way you said "just stop messing with it" First of all, I dont "mess with it", I look at it. Are you not supposed to look at it, and see what it going on there? I am making sure everything is healthy and clean in there, just as I would when changing or cleaning my girls. If I had not have inspected it, we wouldn't have found that it is red, irritated, and has three small ulceration type sores.

 

Second, my husband never touches it, he absolutely hates that he is not circ'd. It was because I had he crawling around with a diaper off that he picked up on it.

 

Third, "it is only up to your son to retract his own foreskin". OK.... Well, then you could say he has done this himself then. Lately he has been playing with it. I mean, he grabs it hard, and pulls it here and there. I nowhere near use any force on his penis. Like I said before, I cannot imagine me doing anything to his foreskin, that otherwise would happen normally with traction from diapers, clothes, washcloths, etc...

 

As far as cleaning him, I do only wipe the outside, unless there is seldom some poop on the tip, and I get that.

 

Also, what exactly IS the definition of retraction? I thought retraction was the forceful pulling back of foreskin over the head and tearing prematurely. AM I WRONG?

 

I guess I was just a little bit off put by your accusatory tone and it didnt really address the questions about the ulcerations, why and if the white beads, and partial separation are normal.....

 


 

 


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#5 of 22 Old 03-27-2011, 01:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by MCatLvrMom2A&X View Post

Is it possible that while someone else was caring for him that they retracted him? Many people dont know that they are never supposed to try to retract. It seems that you where not aware of that either since you have moved it before?

It isnt an infection is my guess he was either retracted by one of your family members or he scratched it or he has started the natural separation process. You treat it by putting bacatracin on there and if that dosnt show improvement in 24-48 hours then you need to take him in to have a swab done of the tip only no retraction to see if he has a bacteria or yeast going on.

Here is a thread about issues that may come up during his growth http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=764732 from natural retraction issues to infections and how to help you see the difference and what to do about it.

I would remind your dh that woman get infections down there to and we dont go cutting bits off them to fix it. Circed boys get infections as well.


Thank you for the website.

 

I dont think anyone of my sisters would have retracted it, they are shy about his penis, since he is literally the first boy in our family. I also speak to them about not circumcising him and what I do to care for it.

 

His nails were abnormally long recently, up until yesterday, and I cut them. He managed to scratch his face and ear, before I caught up with his long nails. I know that he is naturally getting looser and looser at the tip, and I do not even have to touch him to see this. When he gets his erections, it is plain to see, that it is being stretched. Today, though, it jus seems like all of a sudden, there is one side of the foreskin that has separated. I will go read the website now, but I guess, like you said there can be a natural seperation process. Does this sometimes leave a irritated surface on the foreskin?

 

I will go read..... Thx.
 

 


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#6 of 22 Old 03-27-2011, 01:34 PM
 
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Does this sometimes leave a irritated surface on the foreskin?
In the link I provided you will see that it does indeed sometimes cause irritation, pain and redness and sometimes it will even look infected. When all that is going on is the bodies natural process. Just lthrough pain with breast buds and have pain with their period boys can go through pain with the separation process.

Retraction is ANY movement of the foreskin back toward the body. It dosnt necessarily mean forced back all the way. That is why I always say pull back instead of retract that way there is no confusion.

 
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#7 of 22 Old 03-27-2011, 03:15 PM
 
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Well, thanks so much for your ever so abrasive and educational response.....

 

As a person who is unsure about their decision, and who wants the best for their child, coming to this forum for some support and advice. If you would go to a pediatrician, you never know what kind of reaction your going to get. We are new to the area we just moved in, barely got a new doctor for our kids, and dont really know what his stance is on circumcision. I have had one appt with him for my son, and he barely looked at his penis.

 

Anyway, I did do quite a bit of reading about circumcision before I had him, and made my decision. I do know the fact that you dont need to mess with them. The way you said "just stop messing with it" First of all, I dont "mess with it", I look at it. Are you not supposed to look at it, and see what it going on there? I am making sure everything is healthy and clean in there, just as I would when changing or cleaning my girls. If I had not have inspected it, we wouldn't have found that it is red, irritated, and has three small ulceration type sores.

 

Second, my husband never touches it, he absolutely hates that he is not circ'd. It was because I had he crawling around with a diaper off that he picked up on it.

 

Third, "it is only up to your son to retract his own foreskin". OK.... Well, then you could say he has done this himself then. Lately he has been playing with it. I mean, he grabs it hard, and pulls it here and there. I nowhere near use any force on his penis. Like I said before, I cannot imagine me doing anything to his foreskin, that otherwise would happen normally with traction from diapers, clothes, washcloths, etc...

 

As far as cleaning him, I do only wipe the outside, unless there is seldom some poop on the tip, and I get that.

 

Also, what exactly IS the definition of retraction? I thought retraction was the forceful pulling back of foreskin over the head and tearing prematurely. AM I WRONG?

 

I guess I was just a little bit off put by your accusatory tone and it didnt really address the questions about the ulcerations, why and if the white beads, and partial separation are normal.....

 


 

 


Hi there! hug.gif I don't think that Mom2Brendan was not trying to be abrasive, just clear. Many parents on this board are very passionate about keeping boys intact, and forced retraction can lead to many unnecesary issues, that often lead to circ. So, with that and the fact that many parents are given incorrect information about intact care, it is an issue that many feel the need to be very clear and concise in order to avoid confusion. We are all here because we want to help keep boys intact and healthy.

 
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#8 of 22 Old 03-27-2011, 04:38 PM
 
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I've noticed redness on ds a few times, a little irritation occasionally, but never anything that didn't resolve with a little time and a soak or two in the tub.  I think your dh is making an issue about nothing and worry for you as you face his ongoing disagreement.  I am so sorry!  Your dh is holding you accountable for some kind of perfect standard and I think he is really out of line.  Your child is likely fine but I think you have a big problem with dh.  Your dh might be making you way too nervous about your son's normal penis, maybe causing you to poke around extra.  Your dh wants to meddle, he wants to see a problem, and I am afraid that he will be pushing you to the Dr. asap--if not now then likely later.  I hope you can regain confidence and stick with it for your child and be tough enough to resolve this over time with your husband so that there can be an end in sight to that conflict.  Also, what if your dh acts weird later on about his son's penis--it could really make your son uncomfortable when he is older.  I hope that all goes okay.  

 

FWIW with our ds I never kept track of the size of the opening at all, or checked on it.  I could not tell you what was and wasn't attached to the head at any time in my ds's life and he is 11yo now.  He doesn't want me to touch him anyway and is very sensitive and wiggly when I have, and at most I have asked him to show me something if I was concerned.  Very rare to even do that much or even look now.

 

IMO you probably have not done too much in terms of retraction, maybe more than is needed but probably no harm done.  My first thought was that a relative might have overdone a cleaning effort in some way--but I doubt you can find that out without making a weird scene out of things.  But they probably didn't since you already addressed that question above.  Anyhow, like I already suggested I think it is a normal passing irritation that you can just monitor in a relaxed way for the time being.  I guess be assertively relaxed with your dh LOL but kudos to you for winning that battle and keeping ds intact in the first place even against your dh's wishes!   Definitely worth it!


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#9 of 22 Old 03-27-2011, 05:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
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Well, thanks so much for your ever so abrasive and educational response.....

 

As a person who is unsure about their decision, and who wants the best for their child, coming to this forum for some support and advice. If you would go to a pediatrician, you never know what kind of reaction your going to get. We are new to the area we just moved in, barely got a new doctor for our kids, and dont really know what his stance is on circumcision. I have had one appt with him for my son, and he barely looked at his penis.

 

Anyway, I did do quite a bit of reading about circumcision before I had him, and made my decision. I do know the fact that you dont need to mess with them. The way you said "just stop messing with it" First of all, I dont "mess with it", I look at it. Are you not supposed to look at it, and see what it going on there? I am making sure everything is healthy and clean in there, just as I would when changing or cleaning my girls. If I had not have inspected it, we wouldn't have found that it is red, irritated, and has three small ulceration type sores.

 

Second, my husband never touches it, he absolutely hates that he is not circ'd. It was because I had he crawling around with a diaper off that he picked up on it.

 

Third, "it is only up to your son to retract his own foreskin". OK.... Well, then you could say he has done this himself then. Lately he has been playing with it. I mean, he grabs it hard, and pulls it here and there. I nowhere near use any force on his penis. Like I said before, I cannot imagine me doing anything to his foreskin, that otherwise would happen normally with traction from diapers, clothes, washcloths, etc...

 

As far as cleaning him, I do only wipe the outside, unless there is seldom some poop on the tip, and I get that.

 

Also, what exactly IS the definition of retraction? I thought retraction was the forceful pulling back of foreskin over the head and tearing prematurely. AM I WRONG?

 

I guess I was just a little bit off put by your accusatory tone and it didnt really address the questions about the ulcerations, why and if the white beads, and partial separation are normal.....

 


 

 




Hi there! hug.gif I don't think that Mom2Brendan was not trying to be abrasive, just clear. Many parents on this board are very passionate about keeping boys intact, and forced retraction can lead to many unnecesary issues, that often lead to circ. So, with that and the fact that many parents are given incorrect information about intact care, it is an issue that many feel the need to be very clear and concise in order to avoid confusion. We are all here because we want to help keep boys intact and healthy.

 Thats what I thought these boards were about, to discuss and educate people. Not make them feel stupid or accuse them of doing something wrong. The tone was short and accusatory, like just stop messing with it!....

 

Anyway, I can move on, but truthfully think about other more sensitive less aggressive women in their search for support and information. They might be turned away on a comment like that, it might discourage them.


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#10 of 22 Old 03-27-2011, 05:27 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by littlest birds View Post

I've noticed redness on ds a few times, a little irritation occasionally, but never anything that didn't resolve with a little time and a soak or two in the tub.  I think your dh is making an issue about nothing and worry for you as you face his ongoing disagreement.  I am so sorry!  Your dh is holding you accountable for some kind of perfect standard and I think he is really out of line.  Your child is likely fine but I think you have a big problem with dh.  Your dh might be making you way too nervous about your son's normal penis, maybe causing you to poke around extra.  Your dh wants to meddle, he wants to see a problem, and I am afraid that he will be pushing you to the Dr. asap--if not now then likely later.  I hope you can regain confidence and stick with it for your child and be tough enough to resolve this over time with your husband so that there can be an end in sight to that conflict.  Also, what if your dh acts weird later on about his son's penis--it could really make your son uncomfortable when he is older.  I hope that all goes okay.  

 

FWIW with our ds I never kept track of the size of the opening at all, or checked on it.  I could not tell you what was and wasn't attached to the head at any time in my ds's life and he is 11yo now.  He doesn't want me to touch him anyway and is very sensitive and wiggly when I have, and at most I have asked him to show me something if I was concerned.  Very rare to even do that much or even look now.

 

IMO you probably have not done too much in terms of retraction, maybe more than is needed but probably no harm done.  My first thought was that a relative might have overdone a cleaning effort in some way--but I doubt you can find that out without making a weird scene out of things.  But they probably didn't since you already addressed that question above.  Anyhow, like I already suggested I think it is a normal passing irritation that you can just monitor in a relaxed way for the time being.  I guess be assertively relaxed with your dh LOL but kudos to you for winning that battle and keeping ds intact in the first place even against your dh's wishes!   Definitely worth it!


Overdone cleaning, maybe. Thats one I didn't think of.

 

My husband is expecting a problem. He is so completely against it, and says he is going to get UTI's, etc. He makes fun of his penis all the time. Calling it an anteater. Its sad to write this, because I dont know what to do. I believed it was best to not get him circ'd at the time of his birth, but all the ridicule and explanation I have to go through really wears me down. I also think of my sons future and the pros and cons of this decision. How in the hell am I gonna make him feel ok about this if his FATHER doesn't believe in it? My husband loves our children. He is very close to our son, and I worry that my son will take this attitude of my husbands to heart. I do not want him to feel something is wrong with him. I just dont see how he wont. Im sure my husband wont purposefully make an issue out of it to my son, but the "view" will come through.

 

What a struggle.....
 

 


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#11 of 22 Old 03-27-2011, 05:49 PM
 
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Overdone cleaning, maybe. Thats one I didn't think of.

 

My husband is expecting a problem. He is so completely against it, and says he is going to get UTI's, etc. He makes fun of his penis all the time. Calling it an anteater. Its sad to write this, because I dont know what to do. I believed it was best to not get him circ'd at the time of his birth, but all the ridicule and explanation I have to go through really wears me down. I also think of my sons future and the pros and cons of this decision. How in the hell am I gonna make him feel ok about this if his FATHER doesn't believe in it? My husband loves our children. He is very close to our son, and I worry that my son will take this attitude of my husbands to heart. I do not want him to feel something is wrong with him. I just dont see how he wont. Im sure my husband wont purposefully make an issue out of it to my son, but the "view" will come through.

 

What a struggle.....
 

 


I hope I'm not going to come off as abrasive, because that's not my intent. But, if my dh made fun of my son's penis, all hell would break loose. That's completely unacceptable (and infantile) behaviour. I need to find the link, unless someone else posts it, about men and their feelings about keeping their baby boys intact. It will probably give you some insight into why he's acting this way. But, regardless, I wouldn't tolerate it for one second.

 

There are no cons to your decision. If your son wants (or needs, but that's very, very, very rare) a circumcision later in life, he can get one. If you had forced him to undergo the surgical removal of a functioning body part, for no reason, there would have been nothing he could do about that later in life. There are no cons, because this isn't your decision to make - it's your son's.

 

I don't get the culture around this at all. I'll freely admit that. But, I find the idea of having regrets over this, or wondering if one made the right choice, to be about as logical as wondering if you should remove your baby's fingernails, or remove their earlobes, or remove any other normal, healthy, functioning body part. I have two boys and tow girls. All four are intact. All four have had diaper rashes. Three of them have had, at one time or another, really bad diaper rashes - including sores that looked ulcerated. They were mostly my fault (not changing diapers quickly enough, etc.) and one seemed to be a reaction to chemicals in the diapers. They had nothing to do with the presence or absence of the foreskin, labia, clitoral hood, etc. 

 

Don't listen to your husband about this. He has no right to ridicule your decision, and less right to mock your child's genitals.

 

 

 

 

ETA: I really doubt you're going to have to "make" your son feel OK about having a foreskin. There may be a few (very few) exceptions, but most intact males I've met would either rage or laugh their heads off at any suggestion that they might be better off without the foreskin. "It's the best part" is not an uncommon viewpoint.

 

 

ETA: About the whole "messing with it" comment...I think that was probably in response to what you said about moving it around to look inside. That is retraction, and it's not necessary, unless you have a reason to think there's a problem. My intact sons are currently 18 and 5.5, and I never moved the foreskin of either one of them at all when they were little. There was never any reason to do so. In your son's case, I may have taken a closer look to when I noticed the red tip, but that's really all that's necessary. It's quite likely that his foreskin is beginning to separate, and I'm sure your son does manhandle it (both my boys sure did!), but he knows which motions feel okay and which ones don't, and nobody else does, yk? It doesn't sound to me as though you were likely to have caused any problems, but it's just not necessary to do anything with his foreskin, yk?

 

 

 

And, just for reassurance, it does sound like some basic separation, and/or scratching from his nails, and/or diaper rash. It doesn't sound like anything to be overly worried about, although I'd certainly monitor it.

 

ETA: One last time - I just re-read your OP and noticed what you said about the ammonia smell. That sounds like he may have been too long in a wet diaper and/or your diapers need stripping. That smell, imo, makes a bad case of diaper rash even more likely.


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#12 of 22 Old 03-27-2011, 06:45 PM
 
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I think you have had your questions answered about retraction and irritation.  I am sorry you were put off by a harsh tone.  Inquiring parents need to be treated nicely.  There is never a stupid question and I really support you for having the where-with-all to research circumcision and to keep your son intact - ESPECIALLY in the face of your husband's opposition!  Many don't.  I believe without a doubt that you have done the right thing.  Having to constantly defend it must wear you down.  I think it would help to step back and recognize that your dear husband is a victim of circumcision.  I suspect that deep down, he knows this but isn't willing to consciously look at it.  To do so means that he has to acknowledge that those who had the responsibility to protect him did not, those who had the job to provide health care to him harmed him and that his sexual perception and function have been forever altered.  That is a HUGE load to dump on a man's head and a lot to crawl out from under.  It's easier to just deny the facts. 

 

When your dh makes these comments, do you respond to them?  If so, what do you say? 

 

Also, I think Storm Bride is right on with stripping your diapers.  You could have a detergent buildup with them (which is more common with high mineral content water like well water). 


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#13 of 22 Old 03-27-2011, 07:25 PM
 
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I had a situation similar to yours when my ds was still in diapers and as other posters have said you probably need to strip your diapers. My diapers got so bad that they were seemingly burning my ds' foreskin. He was getting huge blisters on the end of his penis & I actually bought my first (and only:-) package of disposables to use at night because I could not get rid of the ammonia - I had extremely hard water. Anyway, I was very glad that he had his foreskin to protect his penis during the ordeal.
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#14 of 22 Old 03-27-2011, 08:24 PM
 
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has the redness started to go away already?

my advice would be to start leaving him without a diaper on at all, as much as possible. and then try to start "catching" those pees and poops in the potty.

 


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#15 of 22 Old 03-27-2011, 10:19 PM
 
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Mary,

 

I was speaking towards this specific comment in your post

 

'I occasionally look under the skin, pull it back just slightly to inspect the size of the opening, and his opening. I never pull it back any harder than, say it would be moved naturally in his diaper

We looked under his foreskin, it is red, slightly swollen, inflamed, and has about three small ulcerations"

 

To me that comment is retraction which equals the same as messing with foreskin so I thought I was helping you  by telling you not to do that .

 

I should have been more specific like for example the only time I ever saw under my son foreskin when Doctors forcefully retracted him and when my son at age 3 1/2 said Hey Mommy look I found my pee hole .

 

I never paid any attention to the foreskin opening nor did I ever inspect the size of the opening.

 

Really all I did was wipe his foreskin & put his diaper on when he was still in diapers .

 

The only time I really paid attention to his penis was when he had a seperation trauma incident at age 3  which caused pain, swollen and inflamed look.  It was really scary looking but I figured if there was a problem it would get worse but instead it got better within 24 hrs with bath, the cream, and nursing him to sleep .

 

Also, redness on the tip of the foreskin is normal.  The ulcerations can occur for many reasons normal seperation process of the foreskin starting to deattach which leaves microtears and also little ulcerations can be caused by retraction no matter how little bit it is which those ulcerations will more likely heal on their own.

 

Urine didn't cause the problem of the ulceration.

 

The ammonia smell from the cloth diapers could mean the detergent isn't getting washed out of  the diapers well enough which lets out a stronger ammonia when your son pee mixes in with the detergent.

 

Also, I put a warning on using neosporin because it can cause alot of problems due to people getting severe reaction which I didn't want that to happen to your son should have put a more of a option of a another cream for you to use like bactriacin or diaper rash cream.

 

 

 

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#16 of 22 Old 03-28-2011, 02:49 AM
 
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Hey! It does sound diaper rash-ish. I found out months into using them,  that with cloth diapers it is a good idea to strip them with baking soda and vinegar, or a cloth-diaper specific additive once a month. If you need an all around good ointment for sore diaper area look online for something called "Butterfly Weed Nappy Rash Ointment". It is good for cloth diapers.

Mine always had that horrible ammonia smell when I went too long in between strippings.

I know how hard it can be being the first non-circer in a long, long, long line of circumcising relatives. It can be wearing and probably irritating.

 

Most of the horrible diaper rashes my son and daughter have had have been cleared up by that ointment and more frequent changes.

 

In the future, when someone else will be caring for your son and there is a chance that they will come in contact with his diaper area, before it happens, just give them a brief "Hey, I know not circumcising is not common in our family, but I just wanted you to know in case you change his diaper to only clean what is seen and wipe from base to tip if need be. *insert laugh* It is sooo much easier to clean than my daughter/niece/friends daughter."

 

Intactivists can be intense, but 99% of the time it isn't directed at Moms. The frustration at the ill informed society and non-informing Dr.'s leaks out at sad times sometimes.

 

The internet misses a key ingredient; Inflection.

 

I hope that you can bring your husband around to an understanding of the human body. Good luck with it and huge Kudos for doing right by your son.

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#17 of 22 Old 03-28-2011, 07:52 AM
 
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My DS's foreskin got some blisters on it on the tip.  It was from the amonia in the cloth diapers but our fix was actually using more detergent.  I was trying to avoid the dreaded buildup and using only 2 Tbs of detergent that is sometimes recommended.  The diapers weren't getting clean enough.


 


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#18 of 22 Old 03-28-2011, 10:24 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PuppyFluffer View Post

I think you have had your questions answered about retraction and irritation.  I am sorry you were put off by a harsh tone.  Inquiring parents need to be treated nicely.  There is never a stupid question and I really support you for having the where-with-all to research circumcision and to keep your son intact - ESPECIALLY in the face of your husband's opposition!  Many don't.  I believe without a doubt that you have done the right thing.  Having to constantly defend it must wear you down.  I think it would help to step back and recognize that your dear husband is a victim of circumcision.  I suspect that deep down, he knows this but isn't willing to consciously look at it.  To do so means that he has to acknowledge that those who had the responsibility to protect him did not, those who had the job to provide health care to him harmed him and that his sexual perception and function have been forever altered.  That is a HUGE load to dump on a man's head and a lot to crawl out from under.  It's easier to just deny the facts. 

 

When your dh makes these comments, do you respond to them?  If so, what do you say? 

 

Also, I think Storm Bride is right on with stripping your diapers.  You could have a detergent buildup with them (which is more common with high mineral content water like well water). 


I have read that article or blog or whatever it was re: mens feelings about being circ'd themselves. That is something that is intense.

 

I obviously dont like when he says these things. I usually tell him to shut it, especially if its in front of others-like his brother. If its just us talking about it, I try to let him have his say, to make it into a discussion. Its usually in a joking manner, but it is really what he believes. He tells me about experiences he had in his childhood where a cousin or something was not circ'd and had some issues with urine crystals getting dried up in there, and some unknown problem.... Who knows what the real circumstances were, and to a kid, it probably seemed really scary.

 

The one thing I really wonder about, and maybe this is for another thread but, are there any Christian moms that did not circumcise their sons against their husbands wishes. We are Christian, I was raised Catholic. We went over the Bible while I was pregnant, etc... He still says God commanded this for a reason. A reason we do not understand. I struggle with the possibility of being disobediant to God. I just couldn't put my son through surgery to cut off a piece of his wonderful body. I would really love to hear of other Christ believing moms and their struggle.
 

 


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#19 of 22 Old 03-28-2011, 10:29 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Oh, and I will strip my diapers. Sounds like a good idea anyway....

 

And today. His tip seems better. Still slightly red, but not inflammed like yesterday. I couldnt even see any of the "sores" we did yesterday, but I didn't pull on anything to look deep.


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#20 of 22 Old 03-28-2011, 10:50 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mymary View Post



 


I have read that article or blog or whatever it was re: mens feelings about being circ'd themselves. That is something that is intense.

 

I obviously dont like when he says these things. I usually tell him to shut it, especially if its in front of others-like his brother. If its just us talking about it, I try to let him have his say, to make it into a discussion. Its usually in a joking manner, but it is really what he believes. He tells me about experiences he had in his childhood where a cousin or something was not circ'd and had some issues with urine crystals getting dried up in there, and some unknown problem.... Who knows what the real circumstances were, and to a kid, it probably seemed really scary.

 

This comes up a lot - the horror story of the intact kid who had all these problems. First of all, I don't think those problems were ever severe enough to warrant prophylactic amputation of the foreskin, yk? To me, that kind of horror story makes about as much sense "OMG - we have to remove his fingernails, because I knew this kid in high school who had a hangnail, and it got infected, and it was just awful!". Second, I strongly believe that most of these problems were caused by the crazy advice to retract and clean under the foreskin.

 

The one thing I really wonder about, and maybe this is for another thread but, are there any Christian moms that did not circumcise their sons against their husbands wishes. We are Christian, I was raised Catholic. We went over the Bible while I was pregnant, etc... He still says God commanded this for a reason. A reason we do not understand. I struggle with the possibility of being disobediant to God. I just couldn't put my son through surgery to cut off a piece of his wonderful body. I would really love to hear of other Christ believing moms and their struggle.
 

I'm not a Christian, but I've read several people talking about their struggles with this, and there's apparently something in the Bible that makes it clear that the instruction to circumcise only applied to Jews - and wasn't ever intended to be as total and severe a removal as what's routinely done these days, in any case. I hope you get some answers from people more knowledgeable than I am.

 



 


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#21 of 22 Old 03-28-2011, 11:25 AM
 
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I sent you a PM about the religious aspect since we cannot discuss that at all here.

I am glad it is looking better and it doing so that quickly tells me you where probably dealing with a very minor diaper rash type thing or possibly separation going on.

 
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#22 of 22 Old 03-31-2011, 07:22 AM
 
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I agree with other PP that the amonia smelling diaper could very well have caused a diaper rash.  I've had those with my kids, the amonia smelling diapers that is.  A couple times my intact 4.5 mth old has had a redness to the tip of his penis, I just assumed it was from the sitter maybe leaving him in his diaper too long (paper kind) as I've already discussed with her about not retracting the skin. 


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