Question about my 8 yr old intact DS! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 18 Old 04-07-2011, 04:58 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I brought him to the Pedis for a physical and she of course checked him down there and was concerned that his foreskin was not all the way off the glands...she said my DS needs to put Vaseline on it after the shower and keep moving the foreskin back...she said this could cause major problems. Is there anything else he should be doing to help the foreskin back? I am also thinking that it will move back on its own but I don't want it to cause any problems. Can you help me out?? Thanks so much!!!!


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#2 of 18 Old 04-07-2011, 05:58 AM
 
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Go to the CIRP.org library and read up on "the phony phimosis" diagnosis.  your son is well within the range of normal development and nothing needs to be hurried- he does not need to be burdened with the idea that anything is wrong with him- because nothing is.  There is an old study by Jacob Oster that talks about normal development.  There is another paper by Beauge- who is French.  His paper concerns "treating" boys with non-retractile foreskins- with some information.  This doctor seemed willing to approach his patient's "problem" without the inhibition of American doctors who won't discuss sexuality at all- and would rather circumcise a kid than suggest maybe masturbating differently, which is what Beauge discovered... the boys with tight foreskins had a masturbation style, perhaps at first developed because of a tight foreskin... but then by never challenging the foreskin to open- it did not develop retractablility in the typical pace.  By suggesting that they modify their method- all the boys became retractable on their own. Of course this is kind of touchy information and would probably be suited for a teen and not an eight year old- but it is a good read for you. 

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#3 of 18 Old 04-07-2011, 06:32 AM - Thread Starter
 
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THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! I thought in my heart that everything was okay but the pedi scared me and I believe they like to do that...lol! I also believe that he will learn about his penis and what needs to be done for it in his own time...I really hate that the pedi said stuff in front of him about it :(

 


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#4 of 18 Old 04-07-2011, 06:45 AM
 
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Wait, did the doc retract it?  Sorry, I don't hang out in here, I came from the new posts because I have an 8 year old.  His doc has NEVER touched his penis, why would she?  If the pee comes out, life is good.  There is no pain, reddness or swelling, life is good.  What's the problem?  I don't even know if he is retractable because he doesn't complain of any issues with it and I sure don't have any reason to mess with it.


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#5 of 18 Old 04-07-2011, 06:55 AM - Thread Starter
 
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No, she had him retract it and noticed the skin was not all the way off the glands.


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#6 of 18 Old 04-07-2011, 07:23 AM
 
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Ok, I just asked my son.  He said sometimes the glans comes all the the way out and sometimes it doesn't.  Possibly your son didn't feel like pushing it with an audience.  I personally don't worry about it. It doesn't need to retract until sex, right?  He is certainly shouldn't be doing that yet.


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#7 of 18 Old 04-07-2011, 07:24 AM
 
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My almost 9 year old can't retract fully yet. It's normal. As they grow and get older, they'll make it retract on their own. No worries. Your pediatrician is not up to date with proper intact care.


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#8 of 18 Old 04-07-2011, 08:02 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks everyone! You have all eased my mind :)


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#9 of 18 Old 04-08-2011, 09:26 AM
 
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My eldest did not fully retract until 8 and 1/2.   At 10 and 1/2 my youngest still was partially adherent at the corona of the glans on one side.  He has assured me he eventually became fully retractable (he is an adult now).  So your son is entirely normal and is right on track.  It takes to 10 and 1/2 for 50% of boys to be fully retractable.  That means that at that age 50% are not!  So many docs and nurses are ignorant of the normal development of the normal intact penis.  I have been fighting this fight for almost 29 years!!

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#10 of 18 Old 04-08-2011, 03:12 PM
 
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So my 5yo has a completely non retractable foreskin. It's loose around the glans, ballooning when he pees, but the opening is teeny and he can't pull it back over the head at all. I'm looking for some insight as I'm from the Midwest and have already had two doctors tell me he has to be circumcised immediately. I don't want to make any rash decisions as he doesn't seem to be bothered by it and has never had any infections.
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#11 of 18 Old 04-08-2011, 03:17 PM
 
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The Dr's are wrong. He is obviously started the separation process since he is ballooning that is a normal part of development for many boys. The opening of the foreskin is the last part of the process he may start to retract in the next year or he may be 15-18 before he can retract it all the way all normal.

The Dr's shouldnt even be touching your ds's penis all they will do is make you worry needlessly and possibly hurt your ds.
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he doesn't seem to be bothered by it and has never had any infections.
this right here tells me that your ds is fine and to me that means it aint broke dont try to fix it. You would be putting your ds through the pain and mental trauma of an unnecessary surgery for no reason other than the ignorance of Dr's.

From the other posts here you can clearly see that many other boys even older than your ds are not retractable and they are perfectly fine that way and will be until their bodies are ready to retract.

IF he reaches his teens and still cant retract and it bothers him then steroid cream with stretching exercises are the answer if that dosnt work then a small slit can be made to allow retraction there is NO reason at all for circ in this kind of situation. Only Dr's here in the USA would recommend total amputation for something that can be fixed with minimal damage to the foreskin.

 
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#12 of 18 Old 04-08-2011, 09:27 PM
 
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Wow, I would be concerned about having a doctor routinely examining my child's genitals at that age! It's certainly old enough to have modesty, and I just think about how mortified I would have felt at that age to undergo a similar 'inspection'. Unless your child is reporting some kind of problem, of course.

 

My son is only two now, but I felt protective of him at his 18-month check-up...even then it seemed to me that the nurse checking out his penis and touching it was completely unnecessary.

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#13 of 18 Old 04-08-2011, 09:40 PM
 
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It felt that way because it really is totally unnecessary. Not only can they cause damage if they decide to try and see how far it can go back and cause tears leading to infection and not only that but it causes stress to the parent when they say stuff like "to tight need circ" when there is nothing wrong to begin with. If there is ever a problem it will be seen without any manipulation of the foreskin happening.

My ds is 6 now and for his school physical they NP did touch his penis and check his testicles. It seems with boys they dont think a thing about messing with their genitals where with girls that stops at around 3-4 at least with my dd.

I dont have a problem with the testicle check as long as ds dosnt mind because there are things there I might miss but touching the penis is not needed even if there is a problem then either I or ds will move his penis (not the foreskin) around so it can be seen on the bottom if needed.

 
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#14 of 18 Old 04-09-2011, 10:48 AM
 
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Rhymeswithgeek,  read  www.cirp.org/library/anatomy/normal/  . That should assure you that your DS is perfectly O.K.  and your doctors don't have a clue.  Down the road,  way down the road, if a tight foreskin is a problem there are many remedies that do not involve amputation.  Check out  www.cirp.org/library/treatment/phimosis/  and www.biomedcentral.com/1471-2490/8/6  .

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#15 of 18 Old 05-10-2011, 01:00 PM
 
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You already have great responses, but I want to add that my oldest is 8.5 years, and he is not fully retractable either.  We had discussed having him pull it back in the shower to rinse, but he said that it still hurt him a little bit to pull it back all the way, so we told him not to do it then.  I think that they know what to do.  It is a normal, healthy body part to them even though the medical community still treats it as foreign.  The fact that your doctor thinks that he needs to put vaseline on it at age 8 or else suffer dire consequences is embarrassing and extremely misinformed.

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#16 of 18 Old 05-16-2011, 12:41 AM
 
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You already have some great responses, but I can't reiterate enough how every boy is different.  My seven month old discovered his penis at bathtimes about a month ago, and has been pulling on the foreskin and stretching it, sometimes quite forcefully.  He now appears to be at least partially retractable, possibly as a result of him playing with it!  This was an enormous relief for me, because our ex-Ped forcibly retracted him at four months, and I was worried about him having future problems.  Conversely, we were with friends today who also have an intact boy who is about 15 months old.  When we were relating to them about our son discovering his penis in the bath, they told us that their son never really touches his penis at all.  I guess the point is that each boy does whatever he feels comfortable doing with his body, and he doesn't need any outside intervention.

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#17 of 18 Old 05-16-2011, 06:50 AM
 
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I don't think our family doctor ever had my sons take their undies off, or even took their diapers off, once he was assured that their testicles had descended. If there isn't a problem, there is no need. Now that my sons are 16, they get checked for hernia and testicular cancer, but that's scrotum, not penis.

 

Those of you with daughters - does a doctor closely examine a girl's private parts at that age?


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#18 of 18 Old 05-16-2011, 12:21 PM
 
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The ped stopped after dd's 4y checkup but I wish I had said no at that visit since it obviously made dd very uncomfortable.

 
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