Help Needed... New Son Intact - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 8 Old 05-20-2011, 10:02 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi! I am the proud new mom to an intact son... haha. Totally laughing writing that! 

Any way. He is 4 and coming home via adoption. 

Honestly I am totally assuming he is intact. He currently lives in Africa and I think it would be really odd if he wasn't.

I have met him and spent some good amount of time with him, but wasn't about to do anything that would make him uncomfortable.

 

But what do I need to know? 

He is potty trained and seems to care for his own needs. 

 

Also a side question... a lady I know just had her 3 yo son (also adopted) circumcised. Yeah... he is 3. I want to give the benefit of the doubt here, so why could that be unavoidable or needed? Surely they wouldn't just do it for looks? 

 

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#2 of 8 Old 05-20-2011, 10:49 AM
 
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What you need to know:  to leave his penis and foreskin alone.  No one but him should mess with it.  You do not need to "retract to clean".  In fact, many boys are not retractable until much older (such as puberty) and as long as he has no problems peeing, it is not a concern.  As for peeing, sometimes due to separation issues, he will appear to "balloon".  Normal variation.  When he's not actually peeing, the tip will be closed up tight.  Not an issue. 

 

As for that lady, yes, they probably did it for looks.  Probably so that he would "look like dad" or because they were more comfortable with a circumcised boy.  Or, they thought they had to retract and clean under at every change/bath and felt that bordered too much on molestation, so best get rid of it now.

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#3 of 8 Old 05-20-2011, 12:49 PM
 
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yeahthat.gif: Everything she said plus dont allow the Dr's to mess with his penis at all. If he isnt retractable they can really hurt him. Plus there is nothing under there they need to see. I have read about many boys adopted from non circing countries bringing the boy home then having him cut as soon as they could just so he would "match" so disturbing.

Congrats on your successful adoption. joy.gif

 
SAHMlady.gifread.giflovin' trekkie.giffan intactivist.gifwinner.jpg to loveeyes.gifenergy.gifDD 10/00 & superhero.gifmoon.gifDS 10/04 ribbonpb.gifIf your ds is intact, keep him safe, visit the Case Against Circ forumnocirc.gifCirc, a personal choice, Your sonsyes.gifbrokenheart.gif11/98brokenheart.gif6/99ribbonbrown.gifanti-tobaccoribbonyellow.gifThyroid cancer survivor. With cat.gif& goldfish.gif & (Boxer)dog2.gif wishing 4 whale.gif&ribbonwhite.gifsigncirc1.gifselectivevax.gifdelayedvax.gif

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#4 of 8 Old 05-25-2011, 03:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Nothing else? My dh isn't intact either should he give him any instruction on cleaning/hygiene of any sort? 

We're pretty go with the flow kind of people, (no pun intended) so I think we'll just let him be, but I want to know if there is anything we ought to do or be aware of. Thanks!

 

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Marci

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Married to my best friend, homeschooling, gardening,

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#5 of 8 Old 05-25-2011, 04:09 PM
 
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At his age and probably he wont be speaking much english I would just let it be then over time you can talk to him about swishing it in the bath and rinsing with clear water etc.

 
SAHMlady.gifread.giflovin' trekkie.giffan intactivist.gifwinner.jpg to loveeyes.gifenergy.gifDD 10/00 & superhero.gifmoon.gifDS 10/04 ribbonpb.gifIf your ds is intact, keep him safe, visit the Case Against Circ forumnocirc.gifCirc, a personal choice, Your sonsyes.gifbrokenheart.gif11/98brokenheart.gif6/99ribbonbrown.gifanti-tobaccoribbonyellow.gifThyroid cancer survivor. With cat.gif& goldfish.gif & (Boxer)dog2.gif wishing 4 whale.gif&ribbonwhite.gifsigncirc1.gifselectivevax.gifdelayedvax.gif

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#6 of 8 Old 05-25-2011, 05:21 PM
 
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I found this link very helpful.

 

Normal development of the prepuce:
Birth through age 18

http://www.cirp.org/library/normal/


Wife to DH, Mom to my Intact Boys DS1: Born 02 Pain Med Free Hospital Birth, BF'ed for 9 Months, Partially Vax'd DS2: Born 06 via UC, BF'ed 3 years 10 months, and UnVax'd
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#7 of 8 Old 05-25-2011, 10:41 PM
 
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My 5 year old takes daily baths and that's all the genital hygiene we do.


Created an instant family (7/89 and 5/91) in 1997. Made a baby boy 12/05 adopted a baby girl 8/08. Ask me about tandem adoptive nursing. Now living as gluten, dairy, cane sugar, and tomato free vegetarians. Homeschooling and loving it.

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#8 of 8 Old 05-26-2011, 06:28 AM
 
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We do baths every other night here. Normal bathtime bathing is all my intact 4 yr old gets too. I'm pretty sure he's mostly retractible, but he's never tried to retract it, so I just let it be. There's nothing special to do....like a little girl, sitting in the bathtub is enough down there.

 

On a side note, it makes me sad that so many adoptive parents circ these older children. :(

It just seems absolutely horrible to do that to a child that already knows what their body looks like. I can't even imagine the confusion they must feel being forced to have their genitals altered by people they are just getting to know :( 

 


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