The "crunchy" ped pulled back my ds's foreskin - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
Old 06-16-2011, 04:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
homemademom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 1,269
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I have been beside myself since it happened. He's my 3rd ds, and so far, I've managed to keep them all safe from prying hands.  I would never in a million years have seen this coming. He's the ped of all the hbers in my area, he's fine with no-vax/selective vax (the main reason we see him), and I just generally thought him to be very "live and let live." However today, he was doing a well check on my ds (which I only do to maintain the relationship with his office, because it really gives me no useful information) and was checking his hip flexors and diaper area when he said that my ds's foreskin had re-adhered. I said, no, he's not circumcised. Then he pulls the fs back FAR and I freaked. I said, "NO! Don't do that!" I could feel the blood drain from my face and my heart was beating so hard.  Then, he says condescendingly, "It's fine." I said, "No. I don't want to create scar tissue!"  (At the time I could have said a number of better things, like "Are you completely ignorant?!?", but it's all I could manage.) Then, he said, "There's already scar tissue there."  WTF.  

 

I'm just shaking. I hate this. I hate that a doctor can do something invasive like that and not even ask if the patient or patient's parent minds.  I mean, a mw would never treat a client like this and yet, somehow, our bodies become the property of the doctor once we enter their exam room. I'm just sick about this whole thing.  bawling.gif


I love homemade: cute skirts, apricot jam, and family! 
homemademom is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 06-16-2011, 05:58 PM
 
bandgeek's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 2,356
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I'm sorry. :-(  Why in the world would he think there's already scar tissue there!?  I would wait until you completely calm down and write him a letter stating why this upset you and include the AAP's statement on intact care.

bandgeek is offline  
Old 06-16-2011, 06:16 PM
 
MCatLvrMom2A&X's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: With Vin Diesel ;) YUMMMM
Posts: 14,210
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
yeahthat.gif: It is horrible when something like that happens and you feel so helpless. Obviously he knows nothing about the intact penis but maybe he is willing to learn and if not then you can always do the no under the diaper touching that I had to do. Since I have to stick with my ped's office for other reasons that is what I had to do.

 
SAHMlady.gifread.giflovin' trekkie.giffan intactivist.gifwinner.jpg to loveeyes.gifenergy.gifDD 10/00 & superhero.gifmoon.gifDS 10/04 ribbonpb.gifIf your ds is intact, keep him safe, visit the Case Against Circ forumnocirc.gifCirc, a personal choice, Your sonsyes.gifbrokenheart.gif11/98brokenheart.gif6/99ribbonbrown.gifanti-tobaccoribbonyellow.gifThyroid cancer survivor. With cat.gif& goldfish.gif & (Boxer)dog2.gif wishing 4 whale.gif&ribbonwhite.gifsigncirc1.gifselectivevax.gifdelayedvax.gif

MCatLvrMom2A&X is offline  
Old 06-16-2011, 08:12 PM
 
BananaBreadGirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 429
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

:( That's awful that that happened from someone you trusted to some extent.

My son's (ex)-doctor did something similar at his 2 month checkup and when I confronted him about it he said he didn't need my permission to do something like that, it's as routine as using a tongue depressor. I'm still mad about how my son and I were treated.

 

If he's your only practical option, try to educate him I guess.


I have one wonderful husband and one wonderful little toddler boy!
BananaBreadGirl is offline  
Old 06-18-2011, 08:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
homemademom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 1,269
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Thanks for your responses. I'm so sorry that some of you have been through this, too!

 

I just don't know what to do. I would love to find an AP friendly family doctor to see all of us, but I don't know if one exists in my town. I'm really reluctant to go back to the ped though. I'm also not good at confrontation and I can't even imagine how awkward it would be to go back to him after writing him a letter.  He clearly thinks I'm nuts from my reaction to the situation.  And I just remembered that I brought up some unrelated issue with him a few months ago trying to get his perspective on something, and he acted so weird about it, as if I was questioning his authority. . .just by presenting information I'd read. Ugh.

 

Thank you all again for your thoughts and advice.


I love homemade: cute skirts, apricot jam, and family! 
homemademom is offline  
Old 06-20-2011, 09:23 AM
 
To-Fu's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: On the base ship
Posts: 4,445
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Oh no! This happened to me once, with my naturopath!!  I was horrified and totally shocked.  She's a midwife.  I didn't expect it AT ALL. 

 

I'd recommend what others have suggested, too--wait until the incident feels a little less fresh and write a letter to the office/ped. 

 

So sorry, mama!
 


Have you seen the updated user agreement yet?
To-Fu is offline  
 
User Tag List

Thread Tools


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off