My MIL told me about the time that she assisted in a circ - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 15 Old 07-04-2011, 07:12 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Yesterday we were spending time with my mother in law and her sister.  I was changing my baby's diaper, and her sister said "you're so lucky that you didn't have to have him circumcised."  I just said something about how it wasn't my decision to make, it's his body, something like that.  My mother in law was a nurse in Canada back in the 50's/60's, and she used this opportunity to tell us this story.  She was doing her rotations and had to spend 2 weeks in the nursery, and everytime it was time for a boy to be circed she would hide in the bathroom.  On her last day there, the doctor told her that she needed to be present and assist so she had no choice but to face it.  She helped strap the baby onto the board, but then the doctor was running late so the baby started fussing.  They had sugar cubes dipped in brandy for pain relief, so she started giving some to the baby to soothe him.  The doctor finally came in and started the surgery and she gave the baby more sugar cubes and the doctor told her to stop because she was going to get him drunk, and she said "You're hurting him."  She felt so terrible.  Fast forward to 1981, my husband is born and she still had him circumcised :(  I didn't ask why, even though this would have been the best time to ask (I have been wondering).  She mentioned before that they used the plastibell on him, so maybe she expressed concern and they told her that the plastibell was "painless" or something.  I don't know.  All I know is that I wish she had left him alone because that circ did a lot of damage to his penis.  It might have seemed fine when he was younger, but now that he is an adult he has a lot of trouble with it.  Sorry that was kind of ramble-y, I just had to write about it somewhere because I keep turning it over in my mind.  

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#2 of 15 Old 07-04-2011, 07:32 AM
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That's really sad she didn't learn from the experience. 


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#3 of 15 Old 07-04-2011, 07:35 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I agree.  Why was it terrible for those babies, but fine for her own?

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#4 of 15 Old 07-04-2011, 10:02 AM
 
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I wonder if she didn't realize she had a choice? I've heard people in the past say they weren't given a choice or asked for permission, that the doctors just took the baby and circed them.  Especially since MIL said "you're so lucky that you didn't have to have him circumcised".

 

 


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#5 of 15 Old 07-04-2011, 10:10 AM
 
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It sounds to me like she didn't know she had a choice and/or they just did it without asking. :-(

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#6 of 15 Old 07-08-2011, 10:36 PM
 
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One of my cousins is married to a doctor who practiced in Toronto for years, now long retired.  He told me once that they circumcised all the baby boys "unless the mother had serious objections".  Funny thing was that his own son remained intact.

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#7 of 15 Old 07-09-2011, 06:28 AM
 
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That's very common. A survey showed that most doctors don't have their own sons circumcised. Sorta says it all, doesn't it?

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#8 of 15 Old 07-11-2011, 10:18 PM
 
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ask her why she did it. just don't be judgmental about it. be forgiving of her. you might get the honest answer you desire, and then you will know.


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#9 of 15 Old 07-18-2011, 04:29 PM
 
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I have been wanting to ask my mother in law why she had her sons circumcised (she is 80 years old, but energetic and healthy).  I didn't prevent my son from having a circ 32 years ago, and let my husband at the time be the decider based on his insistence that HIS son look like him.  Completely ridiculous, and what a stupid reason to continue such a barbaric practice on baby boys!  I had a hurt so deep when they brought him back to me shaking and crying, and every time I changed his diaper and looked at that raw, red little penis, I hated myself and cried. I knew it was really wrong to do that to baby boys and I am so against it now.  I blame my weakness against my then husband (I am not weak anymore and have a new husband!) and feel guilty about it still.  What my mother in law will not know, is that now at age 59 my wonderful husband is experiencing problems that we think are due to having been circumcised.  We just started to discuss foreskin restoration possibilities as a solution, but wow, it would have been much better to have never had the procedure done on him in the first place!  People just don't know the problems that can arise from this butchering of baby boys, until later when it happens to them.  I don't know why they don't show a video of a circumcision in childbirth preparation classes, so parents will really know what happens during a circ!  I believe that if that happened, NO ONE would want to put their precious baby boy through such an un necessary surgery.  Hey, I would even be willing to teach a class on this!

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#10 of 15 Old 07-19-2011, 08:36 AM
 
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My MIL in the early 80ies didn't really know she had a choice. It was done no questions asked. It was a routine procedure before hospital discharge. Her mother (born in South America to European immigrants) shook her head and hated that all her grandbabies got circed. She enthusiastically thanked me for leaving DS intact.

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#11 of 15 Old 07-19-2011, 11:25 AM
 
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yes, back in that era, there was no "informed consent."


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#12 of 15 Old 07-19-2011, 12:16 PM
 
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It would be great if that legislation in SF passed banning circumcision, but my husband thinks it won't pass.  

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#13 of 15 Old 07-21-2011, 01:30 PM
 
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A CHS website asks if the proposed vote at SF should be cancelled.  My reply: "No, leave the ballot as it is, and let the voters decide.  Circumcision, a euphemism for genital mutilation, is already illegal, but the law is not enforced.  Nobody asked me for my personal decision, and if they had waited until I was old enough to decide, I'd have said "No".  Doctors only do it for the money anyway."

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#14 of 15 Old 07-21-2011, 05:05 PM
 
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The problem is that most people are NOT informed and so would vote without awareness and factual information.  Some men actually defend circumcision..... and yes, then do it to their  own baby sons.  I think most men would say NO if they had the choice later, rather than as a defenseless baby who had no control.  where is the conscience on this?  Other than over time, this barbaric ritual surgery should be shown in it's entirety to all parents to be, so they could be better informed of what actually is done to the baby boy.  I cannot imagine any parent who loves their child, saying go ahead and do that to my precious baby!  I just can't imagine it.

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#15 of 15 Old 07-22-2011, 08:32 AM
 
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This is the sad part that few people have the courage to share. Virtualy no doctor has any idea how much damage they do when they perform a circumcision, how much it compromises the future sex life of their patient and how much frustration and discourse it will ultimately cause in their marriage.

 

 

Originally Posted by mare54 View Post

  What my mother in law will not know, is that now at age 59 my wonderful husband is experiencing problems that we think are due to having been circumcised.  We just started to discuss foreskin restoration possibilities as a solution, but wow, it would have been much better to have never had the procedure done on him in the first place!  People just don't know the problems that can arise frThis is the sad part that never gets om this butchering of baby boys, until later when it happens to them.

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