Separation/Infection? The ongoing saga - Mothering Forums

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Old 07-30-2011, 10:48 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi all. I have posted here a couple of times about my five-year-old son as he has a tight foreskin with a pinhole opening and I have been told by doctors he needed to be circumcised (he has a problem with accidents during the day, sometimes almost every day, which was what caused me to ask the ped for help in the first place). I did not do this even though the urologist I was referred to was basically implying I was being selfish to let my son continue to have a health problem which would never correct on its own. eyesroll.gif

 

Anyway, last night while he was urinating he complained that his penis hurt and he claimed it was on the bottom about halfway down the shaft. Well, I had his daddy look at it and he didn't notice any redness or swelling so we just assumed he'd feel better in the morning. But this morning when he woke up he came into my room and I reminded him to go to use the bathroom and a minute later I heard him screaming. I ran in there and saw normal urine in the toilet. I was trying to calm him down and then he started screaming again and he urinated pink. After that was done big drops of bright red blood started dripping out of his penis, which, as far as I could see still looked normal! Peeing blood. My son was peeing blood. I about had a heart attack. I know from years of experience how a little blood in the toilet can look like a lot but oh my goodness it seemed like there was so much, and he was crying...

 

I get on the phone to my husband who had taken my older son out to a cub scout event and told him to come home right away. He suggested I call my brother (who has our other car seat) who might get there sooner but by then I had started thinking. I mean, my first feeling was horrible guilt. I thought, this was my fault, he actually has some kind of health problem and it's all my fault not getting him circ'd earlier this year like the doctors said. But my second thought was, how on earth could I find out what exactly was wrong with my child without the doctors or the emergency room demanding to circ him first? Without them blaming everything on his foreskin and saying they couldn't figure out what was wrong without cutting it off (this was what the urologist had told me, circ first and test him again later)? So I told my husband to just come home and that I would find that time to figure out where on earth we could take him and what we could say to protect him wherever that was. I remembered that someone had posted a number in that tight foreskin thread and so I called Marilyn Milos and thank goodness she answered. I went through everything that had happened and she suggested that for the time being I not actually take him anywhere. Talking to her and going through it again made me realize that his first urine had been absolutely normal, and that if it had been his bladder or his kidneys wouldn't it have all been discolored? So I calmed down a bit. We went out and got some liquid acidophilus like she suggested (in case it was swimming earlier this week that had done it), and kept him hydrated and had him go in water.

 

This is what I've noticed the subsequent times he's gone. He still screams right when the stream starts (which breaks my heart), but after that it doesn't hurt, he says. And his stream is a bit thicker. I almost wonder if the little pinhole opening is opening up a little bit. After he finishes urinating - and every time since the first time it has been normal urine, no pink - he dribbles a tiny bit of blood into the water. He has developed a little bit of swelling but it went down somewhat. Marilyn gave me the number of an intact-friendly doctor in Los Angeles (about 50 miles away through the traffic, but a few hours of driving is better than circing him for no reason) and he's not in today, or I'm sure, tomorrow, but things seem better enough that I'm willing to wait and see until Monday unless he gets worse.

 

So I've gone from "oh my god my baby what are we going to do" to kind of cautiously hopeful that his foreskin is just having some difficulty separating or that he pulled on it yesterday and hurt it (he denies this) or both. I just thought I would post my experience in case there are any other moms out there with similar issues, and I'll update if he gets better or if we see Dr. Fleiss. It's just so hard. Your instinct and responsibility is to make sure your kids are healthy first and foremost and to do whatever it takes to help them when something's wrong. A lot of times doctors imply that insistence on an intact foreskin is standing in the way of that, and I feel like that sometimes too...like maybe I AM being selfish. It's sad it has to be that way.

 

Anyway, sorry for the long post. Thanks for reading.


Mom of two intact, intelligent and funny boys, 8 and 5. VBAC mom pregnant with #3, Due 6/24/12

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Old 07-31-2011, 04:57 AM
 
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I am glad you where able to reach Maralyn and I hope that you dont end up having to see the Dr. but if you do it must be a relief to know that you will get the proper advice from him. You are not selfish in wanting to keep your ds intact so that he to can enjoy a full sex life.

It sucks when our lo's are sick no matter what the reason is. I know I always tend to blame myself when dd has an asthma flair even knowing that it probably isnt my fault I start to think of all the vax she had and her reactions to them and if that is the cause.

 
SAHMlady.gifread.giflovin' trekkie.giffan intactivist.gifwinner.jpg to loveeyes.gifenergy.gifDD 10/00 & superhero.gifmoon.gifDS 10/04 ribbonpb.gifIf your ds is intact, keep him safe, visit the Case Against Circ forumnocirc.gifCirc, a personal choice, Your sonsyes.gifbrokenheart.gif11/98brokenheart.gif6/99ribbonbrown.gifanti-tobaccoribbonyellow.gifThyroid cancer survivor. With cat.gif& goldfish.gif & (Boxer)dog2.gif wishing 4 whale.gif&ribbonwhite.gifsigncirc1.gifselectivevax.gifdelayedvax.gif

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Old 07-31-2011, 08:23 AM
 
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If it's the Dr Fliess that I am thinking of - you are in good hands.  No, you are not selfish for ignoring the advice from other doctors - what kind of advice is "we'll cut his foreskin off , then figure out the problem"  anyway?  Idiotic comes to mind. You are the intelligent one here.

 

The thing to keep in mind is that if, and big 'if', your son's foreskin really is causing him problems, there are a myriad of treatments available that do not involve amputation.  Usualy they are performed on older children, but possibly your Ds could benefit now.  Check out www.cirp.org/library/treatment/phimosis   and  www.biomedcentral.com/1471-2490/8/6  . 

 

Good luck, and let us know how you make out with Dr Fliess.

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Old 08-01-2011, 01:18 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Now we're at the end of day two. He hasn't had any blood today, and his swelling went away this morning. But he still screams every time he starts to urinate, even though he's doing it into a cup of water. Later in the day he started freaking out every time I asked him to pee, saying he didn't have to, he didn't want to. :( This is killing me. Tonight before bed I had him go again and I think he was pushing or straining or something and it's making his penis a bit bigger and he couldn't make it stop and it was just hurting him and he kept crying and finally he peed and he screamed the whole time. And that time it looked like one thick stream (thicker for him anyway) and then one tiny stream sort of off in the other direction, like he sprung a leak or something (though still coming from the same spot, not anywhere weird). And now his foreskin looks all red and swollen again. He says his brother rolled over him and hit his penis and it hurts all the time now so I gave him some generic children's tylenol.

 

I'm calling the doctor in the morning. I admit to being a big chicken when it comes to driving around in Los Angeles by myself but I can't take much more of him hurting like this.


Mom of two intact, intelligent and funny boys, 8 and 5. VBAC mom pregnant with #3, Due 6/24/12

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Old 08-01-2011, 04:11 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Just got back from Dr. Fleiss. He was very nice. The urine tests came back normal but he noticed some redness on the bottom of his penis and thinks he has an infection. So he's going to take some antibiotics and he's also supposed to put an anti-inflammatory cream on his foreskin twice a day for swelling. He says otherwise his foreskin looks totally normal and the tiny opening is just fine.

 

If only I could have gotten that information from a doctor I didn't have to drive an hour each way and pay $200 to see (he's not in my insurance's network). Oh well. It's worth it. I hope the pain is being caused by the infection and it gets better quickly. He has enough pee problems with the accidents to be terrified to pee on top of that. :(


Mom of two intact, intelligent and funny boys, 8 and 5. VBAC mom pregnant with #3, Due 6/24/12

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Old 08-01-2011, 04:59 PM
 
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hug2.gif phew mama, I'm so glad to read that your son will come out of this unscathed, you did such a great job advocating for your son!


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Old 08-01-2011, 07:51 PM
 
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clap.gifYay for you, for driving all that way in crazy traffic and unfamiliar areas, I applaud your dedication to obtain proper medical care for your son! Isn't it amazing, the strength you find to do things you never thought you could do before you were a mama?

 

I hope your son is all better soon! I was following the thread and it sure sounds like a tough one to figure out.

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Old 08-13-2011, 08:53 PM
 
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Hi Ivy,

 

I really feel for you and your situation.  I whole heartedly agree with your approach: not over-reacting, and trying to find a competent, knowledgable Dr. who can advise you on the best way forward.

 

Peter

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