Here I post AGAIN! 10yrs. old no retractions opening tiny - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 18 Old 09-27-2011, 03:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I have been worried over my sons foreskin since he was born. It has always been an issue for me. We have had no major problems with his foreskin. A few times it has hurt him to pee, been checked for a UTI (negative). Made sure his pee followed the correct path (cath. with dye) and it was A okay.

 

Here we sit at age 10. He has been ballooning for years. The opening of his foreskin is smaller than tiny. When he pushes his foreskin back the outer edges of where his opening is supposed to be looks white. I cant even tell he has an opening.

 

When he pees it is a big stream. He complained of buring with pee about 2 hrs ago, since then has peed again with no pain.

 I am at my wits end. I am so worried that I should have just had him circed.

 

 

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#2 of 18 Old 09-27-2011, 09:58 PM
 
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Honestly, I dont see the issue. A while ago he had a suspected UTI, but it wasn't. Then once recently it hurt him to pee.

I could say the same thing about myself...and I don't also think 'man, I should be circumcised.'

 

 

I think perhaps you are seeing issues where there's just normal stuff going on.


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#3 of 18 Old 09-28-2011, 06:07 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Maybe has a mother I am over reacting?   Maybe I should chill. I had concerns that I thought I could post. 

However I do still worry about the tiny opening and I wonder how in the world he will ever be able to retract. He is 10.

 

Why does the ped have to check every year? 

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#4 of 18 Old 09-28-2011, 07:19 AM
 
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The ped should not be "checking" for the ability to retract - that can cause tissue trauma and increase the likelihood of scarring and infection. Normal retraction age is highly variable, and some men may never retract - with no issues whatsoever.  After puberty, if there is an inability to retract, and your son wants to be retractile, there are treatment options that are way less invasive than circumcision.  Steroid treatment and gradual, manual stretching are the first options, followed by a surgical procedure (dorsal slit) that will preserve the foreskin. Physicians in this country have been trained to think of the foreskin as problematic, and have little understanding of the natural development of the intact penis. Please go to DoctorsOpposingCircumcision.org  and the cirp.org websites to research this topic.  Best Wishes!

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#5 of 18 Old 09-28-2011, 12:26 PM
 
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Exactly what momval said the ped shouldnt be checking. He still has more than a few years left to worry about not retracting. Puberty makes a big difference in everything especially the genitals.

 
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#6 of 18 Old 09-29-2011, 04:18 PM
 
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You're this worried about one of your son's body parts--to the point of wondering if you should have had it amputated when he  a baby--even though it hasn't had any trouble? I think that's the kind of anxiety you should see a therapist about.

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#7 of 18 Old 09-29-2011, 04:38 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cyllya View Post

You're this worried about one of your son's body parts--to the point of wondering if you should have had it amputated when he  a baby--even though it hasn't had any trouble? I think that's the kind of anxiety you should see a therapist about.


In the US, even if you choose to keep your son intact, you often get misleading information from friends, family, and medical practitioners. This can lead to quite a bit of anxiety. The OP came here for support and information. Your post comes across as extremely snarky. Please refrain from posting in this manner again.

 
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#8 of 18 Old 09-29-2011, 06:24 PM
 
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It sounds fine to me as well. Some boys are not retractable till they hit puberty. Also as things are working like they should down there in the separation process it will at times burn when you pee. If it bothers him too much have him sit in the tub to pee so it is diluted a bit. 

 

No one should be checking it. Do NOT let his dr touch the fore skin. My 5yo isn't retractable at all. I only know this because he plays with it after a bath and I noticed. I don't ask him to retract. Every now and then it hurts to pee. It is totally normal and I tell him we can pee in the tub to help. 

 

I think you are just being a concerned mom but it sounds all ok. Honest. Hugs.


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#9 of 18 Old 09-30-2011, 11:32 AM
 
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He does not sound abnormal. 

 

2% - 4% of adults don't even retract.  About half of those choose to do something about it.  "Something" includes gentle stretching exercises.  Not anything you'd be involved in. 

 

For now what you can do is make sure he feels free to manipulate his skin to his heart's contentment.  The child's own curious manipulations (tugging away from the body, retracting) are what make a skin tube go from tight to retractable.  Just make sure he hasn't been mislead to think he must never touch his penis. 


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#10 of 18 Old 10-18-2011, 12:53 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ron_Low View Post

He does not sound abnormal. 

 

2% - 4% of adults don't even retract.  About half of those choose to do something about it.  "Something" includes gentle stretching exercises.  Not anything you'd be involved in. 

 

this is true, my dh doesn't. 

and didn't/doesn't do anything about it. 

 

could he be stretching it/trying to retract, or otherwise maybe stimulating himself?  that would cause a non uti burning when urine hits a small tear, which one would get if stretching, etc.  too much. 
 

 


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#11 of 18 Old 10-18-2011, 01:38 PM
 
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DS is 4 and intact. His opening is very, very tiny. He does not retract, and has significant ballooning upon urination.  It has gotten worse over the past 6 months. During the summer, it hurt to urinate, every time. He cried in pain; daddy had to help him go. Every time. He is not the type to fuss or cry at pain, so we knew it was significant. (I have heard him scream in pain only twice in his life - once when a bowl of hot chili spilled in his lap and burned him, and once when he was peeing during that time.) It was also starting to hurt at times that he wasn't urinating. No infection. But the liklihood of infection is increased with ballooning because it's possible that not all the urine gets out, and then bacteria can grow.

 

A larger concern with not retracting (and having a very small opening) is that they might try to retract themselves, and it gets stuck, cutting off the blood flow to the tip of the penis. Then you have the possibility of dead tissue.

 

We are doing the steroid cream, twice daily, with stretching. We will do this for 3 months and then re-evaluate to see where we are. DH isn't circumcised; we don't want to circumcise. But, we also don't want our son to be in constant pain.


DS, 10/07. Allergies: peanut, egg, wheat. We've added dairy back in. And taken it back out again. It causes sandpaper skin with itchy patches and thrashing during sleep. Due w/ #2 late April, 2012.

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#12 of 18 Old 10-18-2011, 02:15 PM
 
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The steroid cream is not meant for anyone that young. The problem is even if it does work and he becomes retractable once the cream is stopped his body will take him back to his natural state which in this case is a small opening. The ballooning is just a sign that he is becoming retractable and during that time he may have pain it dosnt mean infection nor does it increase the risk of 1 it just means he has raw spots where the skin let go. If you read this thread http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=764732 it goes into more detail about separation and the pain that sometimes comes with it.

There is no way at 4 yo I would be putting cream on there and manipulating his penis that much. At his age it isnt needed and it is very invasive of what should be a private body part. His pain when urinating will resolve when separation is complete.
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#13 of 18 Old 10-19-2011, 04:32 AM
 
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MCat - that's not entirely right.  When the preputial sphincter is so tight that it's causing pain with every urination, sometimes a steroid cream is called for.  Along with extremely gentle manipulation, that can help.  Removal of the steroid cream hasn't, in my experience, caused the foreskin to revert to it's previous state.  I haven't had to use it often, admittedly, because there's rarely a problem, but I've had similar sounding cases where we've had success with it.  One big advantage is that it can ease a lot of parents' frustration, which by itself may lead them to decide to circumcise, because they're tired of their child being in pain.  Should the steroid cream be whipped out every time someone sees a little redness on the foreskin or they're not retractable by 3? No.  But it does have uses.


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#14 of 18 Old 10-19-2011, 11:43 AM
 
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Thank you for your input LonelyPageTurnr the information I put in in pp came from reading things online about the cream and other peoples experience with it that I have read on the boards.

It is great to have someone who is a Dr. and who so far has offered great advice here.

I still personally wouldnt want to be messing with my ds's penis that much but if it will keep the child from being circed then it is worth it.

 
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#15 of 18 Old 10-19-2011, 01:51 PM
 
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MCat - Thanks :).  The advice I've always offered is to gently pull the foreskin forward, then gently push it back, if you feel any resistance whatsover, stop.  Also, encouraging your son to play with his penis can help that too.  It's not ideal, but it's better than circ, is what I think.


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#16 of 18 Old 10-21-2011, 03:59 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LonelyPageTurnr View Post

MCat - Thanks :).  The advice I've always offered is to gently pull the foreskin forward, then gently push it back, if you feel any resistance whatsover, stop.  Also, encouraging your son to play with his penis can help that too.  It's not ideal, but it's better than circ, is what I think.



lol, encouraging your son to play with his penis is better than amputating his foreskin?   Yes, and I would say by a long shot!   Let's see, I can play with my penis and have fun or I can have my foreskin amputated...hmm, what to do, what to do...wait, I know, I will play with it!

 

 

Regards

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#17 of 18 Old 10-29-2011, 09:37 AM
 
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Some parents are uncomfortable with their child playing with his/her genitals.  I personally have found that being more accommodating to people's comfort zones has allowed me more success in encouraging people not to circumcise (whether at birth or if their son has a 'problem', legitimate or not).  Generally, people don't respond well if you snicker and snigger in their face and act like their complete morons for considering it, whether you think it or not.  In other words, I've found that when I gently suggest, people are more likely to follow along, but when I bull over and push, they're going to dig in and ignore. 

So, I'm careful of my phrasing, and I don't mind that you find that amusing.


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#18 of 18 Old 10-30-2011, 06:14 PM
 
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Sorry if I rubbed you the wrong way, we are on a forum focused on why RIC is not a good decision.  It was not you suggesting that parents encourage their son to manipulate their foreskin so much as holding it up as a not so good thing, but better than being circumcised.  Just sounded odd in juxtoposition and funny to word in that way.

 

I agree with you that it is important to be sensitive to your audience.  Wise words.  And I do realize that many people are very uncomfortable with this subject, let alone the general subject of sex.

 

Peace.

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