:( 11 year old that can't retract. - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 9 Old 01-05-2012, 02:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi All - I have been swarming the internet for some help.  My DS is 11 and cannot retract his foreskin.  The Ped. recommended a Pediatric Urologist who my son saw about a month ago.  The Dr. said he has not seen a hole so small on a child.  He was actually suprised that he could pee through it.  Long story short, gave us the steroid cream but was not confident in its ability.  Currently, DS says that he thinks it is better,  he now pees one stream...but DH looked an said it really looks the same.  Going back to Dr. tomorrow.  I really don't want to have my son go through a circumcision but also really want to do what is best for him in the long run.  Anyone have any advice or personal experience with this...

 

Thank you!

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#2 of 9 Old 01-05-2012, 03:00 PM
 
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I couldn't really retract my foreskin at all until I was 13? That was after a period of time and certain things that boys might start to do around that time. Is there a serious need for him to retract it? Is he in pain otherwise? I think the problem is that there really is no "set" age when the foreskin becomes retractable and at 11 a boy hasn't even gone through puberty yet. If he can urinate just fine and he is not in pain I don't think this is an issue that needs be dealt with. The steroid cream + some stretching would probably work wonders, it probably wouldn't have been too long before he would have been doing that himself anyway.. (sorry I know you probably don't want to hear that).

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#3 of 9 Old 01-05-2012, 03:35 PM
 
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11yo not being able to retract is no big deal. If after he is well into puberty then he should try the steroid cream along with stretching to help it retract. If that dosnt work there are other options besides circ. A simple slit at the tip will allow retraction while keeping the foreskin intact.

I wouldnt take him back if it where me and I would let time tell you what needs to be done if anything. There are men out there who cannot retract at all and go on to lead full healthy sex lives. So itf it isnt hurting him nothing needs to be done.

Unless your ds was complaining about it the Dr. shouldnt have even been touching his penis for this very reason if the Dr. dosnt know about the intact penis it can lead to this type of thing where everyone gets worried for no reason and the boy ends up going through a surgery that he didnt need.
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#4 of 9 Old 01-08-2012, 05:37 AM
 
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Leave it alone.No need to cut of an important part of the penis for a temp issue.

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#5 of 9 Old 01-08-2012, 10:28 AM
 
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My son is 11 and is still not able to fully retract his foreskin although it has come a long way.  He is heading toward puberty so I expect that things will change for him then.  My doc has been great with encouraging him to gently retract when he is in the shower and when he wakes up in the a.m. if his penis is erect.  I check in with him from time to time, but I haven't worried much over it.  I am happy there are so many options available regarding a tight foreskin.   I haven't circumcised any of my three sons and this one is the only one that has had a tighter foreskin, but it is important to me that he has control and say over his body as well. As John45 points out I think he will be able to take care of it himself.

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#6 of 9 Old 01-14-2012, 04:23 PM
 
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Something similar happened to my DS related, ironically, to a growth spurt. The first peds urologist recommended circumcision in a very heavy handed way (an awful experience) but our second urology referral prescribed the hormone cream. After 3 weeks of diligent application of the cream by DS retraction was fine.

Also remember that a foreskin that is retracted and cannot be pulled back is an emergency medical condition as it can constrict blood supply, so he/we were advised to go slow and steady.

At the time I found the best articles and medical papers were from Europe where the circumcision rate is lower and the condition more common. Google phimosis and non surgical treatment.
 

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#7 of 9 Old 01-16-2012, 04:03 PM
 
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Being non retractile at 11 is perfectly normal. It is generaly acknowledged in Scandinavian countries, where they do not practice circumcision and allow boys penises to develop naturaly, that the average age of retraction is 10 1/2. I have two nephews who were not retractile until well after puberty.  As a PP pointed out there are some men who happily go through their whole lives with an unretractile foreskin. It's not a big deal unless it is causing issues.

 

You might want to read:  www.cirp.org/library/normal/ .  If AFTER puberty your son has issues with a tight foreskin (phimosis) then there are many remedies that do not involve amputation.  It is very sad that so many doctors in North America are not aware of these options and can only suggest circumcision. The only absolute indications for circumcision are frostbite, gangrene and cancer. All exceptionaly rare!  For future reference, check out:  www.cirp.org/library/treatment/phimosis/   and  www.biomedcentral.com/1471-2490/8/6 .  Incidentaly there are many articles dealing with the aplication of Betamethasone cream and they suggest a success rate of about 85%.

 

I hope you might consider printing out the above articles and giving them to your ped and urologist. 

 

 

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#8 of 9 Old 01-17-2012, 03:29 AM
 
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In addition to what has been said, you should read this:

 

http://www.doctorsopposingcircumcision.org/info/info-forcedretraction.html

 

Injury can come from meddling and trying to retract with too much force.

 

Besides getting a second opinion form here, or other doctors (try and find someone who actually knows something about foreskins), you can ask your Urologist and doctors a few questions so that you understand any bias they may have, even though they may not realize it.  For example, you can ask:

 

What is the value of a foreskin?

 

If he answers no real value, just a skin covering for the glans, or soemthing like that, you will know that he places no value on the foreskin, so will be quick to advocate amputating it, and less inclined to try other remedies that preserve it.

 

You could also ask what type of care is recommended for a child with a foreskin? 

 

If he answers that it should be retracted and cleaned regularly, you will know that he does not know the current medical thinking on how to care for it, see above link.

 

You can ask if he feels there are any disadvantages to leaving your son intact?

 

If he answers that there are greater chances of UTIs, cancer, harder to keep clean, smells, girls won't like him, he wil get teased, etc, you will know that he actually feels the foreskin is a liability, so will be only thinking about amputating it, and unlikely to be supportive of alternatives that may be better for your child's best interests.

 

Regards

 

 

 

 

 

 

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#9 of 9 Old 01-17-2012, 11:18 AM
 
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I love those questions, they are legitimate and will definitely give you an idea of where the Dr. stands on the issue.

 
SAHMlady.gifread.giflovin' trekkie.giffan intactivist.gifwinner.jpg to loveeyes.gifenergy.gifDD 10/00 & superhero.gifmoon.gifDS 10/04 ribbonpb.gifIf your ds is intact, keep him safe, visit the Case Against Circ forumnocirc.gifCirc, a personal choice, Your sonsyes.gifbrokenheart.gif11/98brokenheart.gif6/99ribbonbrown.gifanti-tobaccoribbonyellow.gifThyroid cancer survivor. With cat.gif& goldfish.gif & (Boxer)dog2.gif wishing 4 whale.gif&ribbonwhite.gifsigncirc1.gifselectivevax.gifdelayedvax.gif

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