Having a boy and thought I was sure I wouldn't circ but.... - Page 2 - Mothering Forums
1  2
The Case Against Circumcision > Having a boy and thought I was sure I wouldn't circ but....
indie's Avatar indie 12:37 PM 02-04-2012

Also, there's no way I'm going to come here all the time to say, "Guess what guys?! My son's totally unchopped up penis is having NO problems today. Yeah!"

 

So of course you only hear about the problems.

 



MichelleZB's Avatar MichelleZB 03:48 PM 02-04-2012

I don't get it, though. Even if your son had a problem later in life that required circumcision (and we can pretty much assume he won't) why would you cut off his foreskin before the problem occurred? It's like removing his spleen at birth just in case he gets a rare blood disorder later in life. It's not logical, is it?

 

Oh, and I want to add that my intact 2-month-old has had no problems. In fact, I've had to do nothing with his penis for his whole life and haven't really thought about it.


To-Fu's Avatar To-Fu 10:24 AM 02-05-2012


Quote:
Originally Posted by Night_Nurse View Post


This! This is why I've been saying for years that Mothering shouldn't have problem threads in the Case Against Circumcision. They should be in "health and healing". If it's post after post of "problem" threads, it really makes this forum more of a Case For Circ for those who don't know how rare foreskin issues are!

 



Hmmm, I hadn't thought about it that way before!  Let me run this by the admin and see if I can get a better idea on the rationale.  Maybe there's something we're missing.

 

--To-Fu

TCAC Mod


tammylsmith's Avatar tammylsmith 02:33 PM 02-05-2012

But if there are problem threads, I hope they don't go under a specific category relating to circumcision (unless you do a "girl problems" and "boy problems" approach, and let the circ and non-circ problems show up side-by-side!) because the main thing I would love to show prospective parents is that most of the intact "problems" end up being not problems at all. I think every effort should be made to demystify it... and if a new mom sees all the circ  problems side-by-side with the intact problems, she might see how the whole "intact" thing is no problem at all :)


homeschoolingmama's Avatar homeschoolingmama 03:55 PM 02-05-2012

I would rather something happen naturally than be the one who permanently damaged my sons penis.

 

I wouldn't base a decision on a doctors misinformed diagnosis.  Sometimes we have to fight for our children.  We have to stand up for them because we care about them most and want what is best for them.

 

There are many mothers on here who would be more than able to help you if you had a concern.  It is very, very rare to need a circ later.  If a misinformed doctor suggested it then you will know better from informing yourself.  It is just like any other topic with your children.

 

I have a 6yo son and a 3yo son and they have not had any issues at all.  It never even crosses my mind that an issue may arise. 


helloall's Avatar helloall 04:53 PM 02-05-2012

I'm an intact male. Why chop up the kid before a potential (rare) problem arises? That's like cutting off your toes so you don't get ingrown toenails.

 

The logic is ridiculous and asking yourself a few basic questions will help you to see why.


mommy2two babes's Avatar mommy2two babes 06:15 PM 02-05-2012
Just wanted to give my two cents
I have 2 intact boys 5 and 2 no problems.
My dh is circed to tight. He has uncomfortable erections and tender testes after as the skin from his testes is drawn up the shaft during an erection.
He also has a skin bridge that needs to be regularly cleaned out from dead skin build up.

~adorkable~'s Avatar ~adorkable~ 08:02 PM 02-05-2012


Quote:
Originally Posted by nd_deadhead View PostMy twin sons are 17, and have never had a problem with their foreskins. They have had all kinds of other problems - ear infections, hernias, sprained ankles, bronchitis, plantar's warts, acne. All of these things were treated as they arose - we didn't make them use crutches before they sprained their ankles, or sign them up for surgery before they developed hernias, or put tubes in their ears before they had an ear infection.

 

The foreskin is a normal, healthy body part. Like any part, it can develop problems - but it isn't any more likely than with any other body part.

 

this is one of the most important points, i wish it was said over and over to folks.

 

 

 

 

the other one is the story of my twins who were born last year:

 

when i would get asked a larger handful ofttimes about my plans around circumcision i would simply state that

"no, nether of my babies are getting circumcised"  

This nearly always caused a double take onto my chart to confirm that, yes, i have having one boy and one girl. and they would be confused or recoil and say something about

"but we don't circ girls!!"

 

then i would just usually sit there and wait while they had it dawn on them, the injustice and violation of body that we abhor when someone does it to their daughter but come to expect that they will nonchalantly do it to their son.


tropicana's Avatar tropicana 09:57 PM 02-05-2012


Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Adorkable~ View Post

the other one is the story of my twins who were born last year:

 

when i would get asked a larger handful ofttimes about my plans around circumcision i would simply state that

"no, nether of my babies are getting circumcised"  

This nearly always caused a double take onto my chart to confirm that, yes, i have having one boy and one girl. and they would be confused or recoil and say something about

"but we don't circ girls!!"

 

then i would just usually sit there and wait while they had it dawn on them, the injustice and violation of body that we abhor when someone does it to their daughter but come to expect that they will nonchalantly do it to their son.

here, here!! kudos!!


 

 


hakunangovi 09:59 AM 02-06-2012


Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Adorkable~View Post

 

when i would get asked a larger handful ofttimes about my plans around circumcision i would simply state that

"no, nether of my babies are getting circumcised"  

This nearly always caused a double take onto my chart to confirm that, yes, i have having one boy and one girl. and they would be confused or recoil and say something about

"but we don't circ girls!!"

 

then i would just usually sit there and wait while they had it dawn on them, the injustice and violation of body that we abhor when someone does it to their daughter but come to expect that they will nonchalantly do it to their son.


I love it !!   Just the thought of the look on their face as reality sinks in makes me grin !!
 

 


ambivamom's Avatar ambivamom 10:45 AM 02-06-2012

I also wanted to add that I think probably people post here to get that reassurance *before* they go to the doctor, so they are armed with something to say when the doctor starts on with some stupid unscientific sh*t about the penis.  It's hard for some people to just talk back or ask the right questions, and when you are dealing with something that is hit-or-miss as to whether your ped will know how to care for the intact penis, it helps to know before you haul the child off to the doctor 1)whether you need to at all, and 2)what to ask about when you are there.


liberal_chick's Avatar liberal_chick 04:04 PM 02-06-2012

My dh is 29, my ds1 is 6.5, my ds2 is almost 3, and my ds3 is 16 months.  No problems all the way around.  My cousin has a circ'd son the same age as my ds2 that required a circ revision.  My grandmother (who keeps him while my cousin works) talked about the pain he was in for weeks after the revision.  And that doesn't even take into account the pain he was in after the first circ.


*MamaJen*'s Avatar *MamaJen* 06:36 PM 02-06-2012

My son is four and we've never had any problems! We live in Texas too. I'd say about half of little boys I know are circumcised and half aren't. Our pediatrician is very mainstream and she didn't bat an eye about us not circing.

 


tri31's Avatar tri31 05:23 AM 02-07-2012

Hope you don't mind, but no one else has mentioned the emotional reprecussions, of a circumcision. As more and more neurological studies become available the idea that our babies are not harmed in the long term by this procedure comes into question. I read this in psychology today from an artical about letting a "baby cry it out". Just that is proving to be harmful for newborns, I can't even imagine....

 

Neurons die. When the baby is greatly distressed, the toxic hormone cortisol is released (It's a neuron killer Panksepp, 1998). A full-term baby (40-42 weeks), with only 25% of its brain developed, is undergoing rapid brain growth. The brain grows on average three times as large by the end of the first year (and head size growth in the first year is a sign of intelligence, e.g., Gale et al., 2006). Who knows what neurons are not being connected or being wiped out during times of extreme stress? What deficits might show up years later from such regular distressful experience? (See my addendum below.)

Disordered stress reactivity can be established as a pattern for life not only in the brain with the stress response system (Bremmer et al, 1998), but also in the body through the vagus nerve, a nerve that affects functioning in multiple systems (e.g., digestion). For example, prolonged distress in early life, resulting in a poorly functioning vagus nerve, is related disorders as irritable bowel syndrome (Stam et al, 1997). See more about how early stress is toxic for lifelong health from the recent Harvard report, The Foundations of Lifelong Health are Built in Early Childhood).

Self-regulation is undermined. The baby is absolutely dependent on caregivers for learning how to self-regulate. Responsive care---meeting the baby's needs before he gets distressed---tunes the body and brain up for calmness. When a baby gets scared and a parent holds and comforts him, the baby builds expectations for soothing, which get integrated into the ability to self comfort. Babies don't self-comfort in isolation. If they are left to cry alone, they learn to shut down in face of extensive distress--stop growing, stop feeling, stop trusting (Henry & Wang, 1998).


And of course no one in our family has circumcised our sons (also our sons cousins) no one has ever had any issues.


Louplus2's Avatar Louplus2 08:55 AM 02-07-2012

Hi,

 

I have been reading these posts for the past few weeks now. I am so surprised at the struggle that women are having over whether to circumcise their sons.

 

I do not understand why anyone would want to put their precious newborn son, who has been nurtured in their belly, through that kind of a procedure all for the sake of conventionality, embarrasment etc.

 

I am in the UK, this just does not simply happen in this country. I have 2 DS's, one at 2yrs and one at 5 months, obviously intact, my DP is intact. All of the men in our families are intact as far as I am aware. There are no issues or have there been.

 

Please do not be scared of an intact penis, I have not had to worry about either of my sons. It is a NORMAL, NATURAL part of the body. Just like your own private parts.

 

It is such a shame that something as joyful as bringing a child into the world has this element of struggle. I am sorry for all of you that are having to deal with this. I honestly wish you love and kindness.


allisonrose's Avatar allisonrose 10:32 AM 02-07-2012

I have two intact sons and never a real issue. My 3 y/o has had a touch of redness now and again. But as PP has pointed out girls have genital issues as well. A circed boy could have complications that can affect him for the rest of his life.

 

My hubby is also intact and as far as I am aware has never experienced any problems as a result.


hakunangovi 01:47 PM 02-07-2012


Quote:
Originally Posted by tri31 View Post

Hope you don't mind, but no one else has mentioned the emotional reprecussions, of a circumcision. As more and more neurological studies become available the idea that our babies are not harmed in the long term by this procedure comes into question.

 

This is an issue that, sadly has recieved little attention from the medical community.  Obviously they don't want to know!

 

However, there are a few people who recognise the potential for psychological damage and have written about it. Check out: www.cirp.org/library/psych/  .  In the references section one can read quite a few papers concerning this issue.

 

Another one is:  www.norm.uk.org/circumcision_psychological_effects.html  .

 

I have had conversations around this with a therapist that I know, who acknowleged that circumcision may well induce Post Traumatic Stress Disorder in some males who have been circumcised (and also female victims of FGM).

 

 


philomom's Avatar philomom 02:28 PM 02-07-2012
Quote:
Originally Posted by hakunangovi View Post


This is an issue that, sadly has recieved little attention from the medical community.  Obviously they don't want to know!

However, there are a few people who recognise the potential for psychological damage and have written about it. Check out: www.cirp.org/library/psych/  .  In the references section one can read quite a few papers concerning this issue.

Another one is:  www.norm.uk.org/circumcision_psychological_effects.html  .

I have had conversations around this with a therapist that I know, who acknowleged that circumcision may well induce Post Traumatic Stress Disorder in some males who have been circumcised (and also female victims of FGM).


Yep, here's one that suggests the cut fellows can have a personalty disorder.

http://intactnews.org/node/131/1316710012/study-links-circumcision-personality-trait-disorder
Ellien C's Avatar Ellien C 09:58 AM 02-08-2012

Just saying I have a nearly 2 yo boy with no issues at all. DH was kind of pro-circ but not enough to be really active about it. I kind of "delayed" the decision to do it - I never brought it up in the hospital and he sort of forgot about it. Then when he remembered, he agreed that since we hadn't talked in great detail, we could get it done later. He finally ended up asking our Ped at the 5-day check-up or something. Again, I never brought it up. We had left the appt and we in the car when he remembered. I encouraged him to go back in and ask about it while I waited with the already buckled baby in the car. Dunno what the ped said, but DH came back and said it was OK to leave baby boy as is! 

 

Funny story is that I'm not Jewish, but send my son to a Jewish day care. He has a "kind of Jewish" first name. There was a program there and the director remarked that with his name, they would think he was Jewish. I said that's OK - once they see his penis they'll know he isn't and we all had a chuckle. Anyway, my point is that I'm also in the mid-west, at a Jewish day are and the lack of circumcision is just not an issue at all for us. Again, people only post here when there are problems. 


birthprep4u's Avatar birthprep4u 09:02 PM 02-08-2012

Please do not circ your baby boy. I have 2 intact sons and they are fine. It is when you mess with it that problems come up. Just never ever try to retract it on him and you will be fine. There is really nothing to do. And you will save your baby from trauma. Sexual trauma from having his foreskin cut off. Which btw is extremely painful to the baby.

I have this link that I would like to share. I have to go and find it.

Carolyn

AAHCC, The Bradley Method TM


Peony's Avatar Peony 09:37 PM 02-08-2012

I know very few boys that have been circed and those that have, often had problems.One friend of mine had 3 boys, all circed, all had problems. I can't remember the story with the first one, the second had a blotched circ, had to have it redone and it still isn't "right". The 3rd ended up in the hospital several days after the circ because of bleeding, yes his penis was still bleeding then. I have two boys, no issues with their intactness. My toddler boy does not leave his penis alone, it is tugged on ALL day long. One of my girls did have labial adhesions. 


birthprep4u's Avatar birthprep4u 09:38 PM 02-08-2012

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e-Lm396q8KA

 

Watch this before you decide to circ your newborn baby boy.

 

Hope this was helpful

 

Carolyn


mama24-7's Avatar mama24-7 10:04 AM 02-09-2012


Quote:
Originally Posted by birthprep4u View Post

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e-Lm396q8KA

 

Watch this before you decide to circ your newborn baby boy.

 

Hope this was helpful

 

Carolyn


hiya, carolyn.

 

welcome to TCAC!  thanks for weighing in.

 

speaking for at least myself, i have nightmares for watching circ videos.  what's in the video?  and if you post any potentially graphic links in the future, would you please give us a warning if it may be graphic/upsetting/etc?  i'd appreciate it! ;-)

 

best wishes,

sus

 


philomom's Avatar philomom 10:30 AM 02-09-2012
Quote:
Originally Posted by mama24-7 View Post


hiya, carolyn.

 

welcome to TCAC!  thanks for weighing in.

 

speaking for at least myself, i have nightmares for watching circ videos.  what's in the video?  and if you post any potentially graphic links in the future, would you please give us a warning if it may be graphic/upsetting/etc?  i'd appreciate it! ;-)

 

best wishes,

sus

 



Nope, it was the deconstruction of some poor arguments used on The Doctors tv show. Nothing graphic at all.
Anastasiya's Avatar Anastasiya 11:47 AM 02-09-2012

If you hang around other parenting boards, you'll soon find that circumcised boys have hosts of problems discussed there, too. Everything from adhesions, to tears, hidden penis, looking like they were never circumcised to begin with, pain upon erection, skin bridges, redness and infection, swelling and of course - meatal stenosis.

 

I have three intact boys. Never a problem. Not once.


DJay's Avatar DJay 05:30 PM 02-09-2012


Quote:
Originally Posted by philomom View Post


Nope, it was the deconstruction of some poor arguments used on The Doctors tv show. Nothing graphic at all.


Video is 'clean'. Just pointing out the stupid reasons that this group of doctors use to talk about circumcision.  Nothing graphic. Actually rather stupid. And that makes the doctors look stupid.


Dan Bollinger's Avatar Dan Bollinger 04:11 PM 02-11-2012

Lady of Slytherin,  This will help. You and your hubby should take the decision tour at Circumcision Decision-Maker website. It will answer all your questions and concerns and give you some expert advice. 


Tags: Circumcision
1  2

Up