I am trying to decide whether to circumcise - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 81 Old 01-31-2012, 11:29 AM - Thread Starter
 
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So, I am new to Mothering but I'm pregnant and am having a boy. I'm trying to decide whether or not to circumcise. We're not religious, but I want him to look like his father, who is circumcised. I have done a lot of reading on the internet and am pretty convinced that there's no medical reason to circumcise. In fact, I found a blog post on this that I wanted to share. She says that there's really no evidence to support circumcising.

 

http://www.squintmom.com/?p=442

 

The thing is, though, I don't know if I believe that circumcision is really harmful. It just doesn't seem like with most of the men in the US walking around circumcised and they're not complaining (it seems like it's women who freak out about it more than men), is it really a problem?

 

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#2 of 81 Old 01-31-2012, 11:50 AM
 
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if there is no medical reason to do a cosmetic surgery on your infant just a day old, why would you? if later when he is big he wants to get cic'd that would be his choice, but to do it to an infant who has no say and has nothing the matter with him... why? so he looks like someone else? will you clip his ears if they look different? or some other drastic un-nneeded procedure so he looks like everyone else?


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#3 of 81 Old 01-31-2012, 12:12 PM
 
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Honestly, I do think that a lot of men are in denial about the complications that they do have or are not even aware that they are complications of their circumcision.  My DH is circumcised, but my 3 sons are not, and over the past few years, my DH has become increasingly aware of his scar from the circumcision and some areas where he has less sensitivity.  He has come to think of circumcision as being harmful even though he does not like to think about his penis that way.  I think it is difficult for men to come to grips with that.  Anyway, he is really thankful that he does not have any major complications (adhesions, skin bridges, painful erections, hairy shaft, ED, etc.) because they are quite common.  He is also really happy that our sons will never have to wonder what they are missing like he does.

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#4 of 81 Old 01-31-2012, 01:17 PM
 
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Part of my son's are circ'd part are not.  I'm chiming with the Intact boys are easier.   When we made the decision  to keep Jack intact I asked my DH when the last time he saw his father naked.  He had no clue so the "look like dad thing" has no bearing here.  Less than half the boys in the US are being circ'd and world wide 80-90% of men are intact.   Circing  is cosmetic and IMO as a mom of both TOTALLY unnecessary done to a newborn.  I regret letting them cut my oldest 3 after researching the WHY's of circing.  Jack is 3 and retracts has had ZERO issues. The way I look it is if he has the burning desire to remove his fore skin  he can choose to do it and I'll support him.   I have done a 180 in my parenting views.  He was born with it for a reason and who am I to make a decission to remove a part of his little body.   One of the OB's in the practice I now go to refuses to do circs he said they are cruel and unnecssary (THAT coming from a DR.)


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#5 of 81 Old 01-31-2012, 01:29 PM
 
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Here's two that I like and sum up how we came to our decision.

http://www.drmomma.org/2011/08/intact-or-circumcised-significant.html

http://www.drmomma.org/2009/10/how-male-circumcision-impacts-your-love.html

Once you really know...... there's no way you'd do this to your sons!
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#6 of 81 Old 01-31-2012, 05:04 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LaneyMeyer View Post

So, I am new to Mothering but I'm pregnant and am having a boy. I'm trying to decide whether or not to circumcise...

 

I want him to look like his father, who is circumcised.

 

...pretty convinced that there's no medical reason to circumcise...

 

The thing is, though, I don't know if I believe that circumcision is really harmful. It just doesn't seem like with most of the men in the US walking around circumcised and they're not complaining (it seems like it's women who freak out about it more than men), is it really a problem?

 


Good for you to research this decision carefully.  Let me offer some thoughts on the points you have brought up.

 

Why do you want him to look like his father?  How far are you willing to go to do that?  His father will be taller, hairier, etc.  Which of those will you try to do?  Will you insist that his father shave his face and pubic area, for instance?

 

I was circumcised, I kept my two son's intact.  It did not cause any problems whatsoever. 

 

I was circumcised and my two younger brothers were not.  No problems whatsoever.

 

If there is no medical reason to circumcise, and you, as a parent are supposed to be acting in the best interest of your son, what would the rational be to have him circumcised?  What would be worth the pain and suffering?

 

Men who are circumcised as infants simply have no idea what they are missing.  Nor do their wives.  So yes, everything seems fine to them.  I was in that same boat.  circumcised and you could not have convinced me that having a foreskin would add much.  Sex felt amazingly good, best feeling possible.

 

Now I am mostly restored.  I have had sex as a circumcised man and as an intact man.  My wife has had sex with me circumcsied and intact.  There is no comparison.  Sex with a foreskin is so much better for both of us that it is amazing.  And she was a doubting thomas.  Now she is a strong supporter that is  appalled anyone would RIC.

 

PM me if you want to have specifics of what has changed and how it feels, they don't seem to like things getting too graphic here.

 

 

regards

 

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#7 of 81 Old 02-01-2012, 08:19 AM
 
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My biggest thing is that he is not going to look like his dad anyway.  Penises don't look the same anyway- but a child and an adult, whether circ'd or intact, look nothing alike.  Size, hair, etc.  So if looking like his dad means when your son is an adult- well, I think you could ask any adult when the last time they compared penises with their father- and I think you would not find many (if any) that do.  My DH has no idea if his dad is circ'd or intact.  My father did not learn his father was intact until recently.  I think we put more emotion in to this decision that needs to be there.  Your husband went through a cosmetic surgical procedure at a time that most baby boy's in the US had the procedure.  So now your son needs a cosmetic sugical procedure just because your husband did?  I don't understand why, if the topic came up, you could not explain to your son that when daddy was a baby he had part of his penis cut off, but now we have learned and know more and did not feel it was necessary to also cut off part of yours.   I don't get the "family tradition" thing.  I realize most babies in the 60's, 70's and 80's had it done, but is not the case any more.   There are SO complications that can happen.   Your son will be born perfect.  There is no need to alter him during the first hours or weeks of his life.  It is your son's penis, not yours or your husbands.  Let him decide if he would like his foreskin or not :)

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#8 of 81 Old 02-01-2012, 12:40 PM
 
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The Whole Network has compiled a number of published studies which detail issues with circumcision and circumcision studies:

http://www.thewholenetwork.org/14/post/2012/01/medical-research-studies-on-circumcision.html

 

While TWN is biased in favor of intact genitals, the empirical research has been published in a variety of journals.

 

I encourage my cut husband to love his body as it is.  But we also recognize the problems which exist as a result of his neonatal circumcision.  There are many complications to circumcision and they don't all show up immediately.  It's hard to talk about these things in a public forum because it's not *my* privacy at issue.  I've talked to lots of mom friends frankly about sex and I think there are probably a lot more long-term side effects of circumcision than the powers that be are willing to acknowledge.

 

Leaving our son intact and whole was a no brainer for us.  There's no harm in an intact foreskin.  And the thought of doing our best to be gentle attached parents really doesn't allow for the initial trauma of foreskin removal.

 


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#9 of 81 Old 02-01-2012, 01:21 PM
 
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Welcome, Laney! Like the others, I'm glad you're thinking about this now.

 

Because circumcision is so prevalent in the US, people have a tendency to think "Why not circumcise?", whgen the more logical question is "Why should we?"

 

You've already answered that question for yourself - there is no valid medical reason to do it. If you dig a little deeper, you will learn that circumcision - like any operation - has risks. Some sources, like the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) downplay the risks - and still come to the conclusion that the benefits do not outweigh the risks.

 

Is circumcision harmful? Well, we all know men who don't seem to have any problems. But does that mean there is no harm done? My MIL lost the end of her pinky finger when she was in her 50's (my DH remembers the accident). She doesn't experience "phantom pain", and since she no longer plays the piano, she gets along just fine without it - and it's one less fingernail she has to trim. Does that mean that her pinky finger was worthless, or that she didn't suffer harm? Those of us that have all our fingers sure wouldn't willingly give one up! Just because a lot of men "get along just fine" wothout their foreskin, doesn't mean that they haven't been harmed - just like my MIL and her finger.

 

So how often do you talk to men about their penises? We've had posts from a number of people here who are themselves, or their DH is unhappy about being circumcised, and some men suffer serious complications. I once knew a woman on-line whose hubby could barely maintain an erection, because he had so much foreskin removed that an erection caused him pain and bleeding. They were lucky to be able to conceive one child, and were unable to conceive another, because of his circumcision complications. Many doctors today tend to err on the side of removing less foreskin rather than more, because of the prevelance of such problems. Obviously this doesn't happen to everyone - but how many have to suffer for it to count? What if it's your son, or your husband? It's one thing to deal with complications from an operation that you need to save or significantly improve your life - it's quite another to have lifelong complecations from an unnecessary operation.

 

"To look like Daddy" is a pretty silly reason to perform surgery on an infant. Would you sign your infant daughter up for a boob job, or labiplasty, so she "looks like Mom"? Sounds ridiculous, doesn't it? But that's exactly what is suggested by circumcising an infant to "look like Dad". If a man wants his genitals to look like his young son's, all he has to do is shave his pubic hair and pack ice in his shorts. My twin sons are 17, and when they were little, they were far more interested in differences in size and hair than they were in whether DH had a foreskin or not.

 

Here's another way to look at it: My DH has brown eyes, salt-and-pepper hair, and a mustache. Our sons have blue eyes, blond hair, and their attempts at facial hair are pretty pitiful (so far). They hardly look alike at all, in ways that are obvious to anyone looking. Yet the boys have fantastic relationships with their Dad - whether they look alike or not. Why in the world would "matching" penises be important to them?

 

Best wishes to you on a comfortable pregnancy and a healthy baby! Please don't hesitate to ask any questions you can think of.

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#10 of 81 Old 02-01-2012, 06:30 PM
 
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nd_deadhead,  I really like your answer.  I, too have never understood the "look like Dad" bit - Are they planning to sit around watching sports with their penises hanging out?

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#11 of 81 Old 02-01-2012, 11:58 PM
 
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I always think that argument is funny, too, as if we're going to have our family pictures taken nude so people could be like, "OMG, their penises look different!" Ha! Like I wouldn't look different from a baby daughter who hasn't grown breasts!

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#12 of 81 Old 02-02-2012, 12:46 PM
 
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Hi Laney,

 

I think it's great that you're really researching the issue and trying to make an informed decision. I'll be graduating with my bachelor of science in nursing in a few months and will be starting a masters in midwifery program in the fall. As a student nurse, I've been present a number of circumcisions, even participating (i.e. giving baby pacifier with sugar water, setting up for the physician, etc). I think if more parents could witness circumcision before making the decision, very few would choose to do it. All four of the baby's limbs are strapped down to a plastic board, which in my experience seems to be upsetting experience in and of itself, as the babies often start crying at this point. Horrifyingly, only about half of all physicians use any kind anesthesia. Even when they do use a local anesthetic I'm quite certain that getting the injection into their penis is very painful as the babies almost always scream when it is happening. During the actual circumcision, which involves placing a clamp around the penis, inserting a tool under the foreskin to force it away from the penis and then crushing/pulling the foreskin away - the babies scream so loudly and forcefully they turn purple - and this goes for the babies who received the anesthetic too. This makes sense because the foreskin contains tens of thousands of nerve endings - they feel everything. The procedure is not very fast either - often taking up to a half an hour. The babies usually look like they're in shock once they stop crying. The nurses also don't bring the baby back to the parents until he's wrapped up again and isn't crying. This, I feel, is a terrible practice because it masks how horribly traumatic it is for the infant. 

 

As a witness of circumcision I feel that I have a responsibility to parents to inform them of the barbaric nature of the practice. If you are still considering it, I encourage you to search the internet for graphic videos of circumcision so that you can see what it really involves. Also, if you want more information explaining why it is neither a medically indicated, nor a benign procedure take a look at http://www.intactamerica.org/. 

 

Thanks and best of luck with the rest of your pregnancy and your birth! 

 

 

 

 

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#13 of 81 Old 02-02-2012, 03:49 PM
 
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I met a mom recently who has two circ'd boys and one intact. The second was horrible: he hemorraged. And they wouldn't let her nurse or see him for nearly four hours. There are risks to the procedure and children do sometimes bleed a lot. They even die sometimes. Scares the schiznit out of me to think of some of my friends whose boys are circ'd and how they could have lost their kid because of an unnecessary procedure.

 

Still, it's your decision. Best of luck in your research. Go by your heart, not what others tell you to do.

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#14 of 81 Old 02-02-2012, 07:30 PM
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http://www.circumstitions.com/Itsaboy.html


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#15 of 81 Old 02-04-2012, 03:04 PM
 
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Why does his penis have to match his dad's? Planning on taking cute father/son pantsless photos?

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#16 of 81 Old 02-05-2012, 09:11 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MichelleZB View Post

Why does his penis have to match his dad's? Planning on taking cute father/son pantsless photos?


 

I definitely see your point here, but I think there are probably more effective and less snarky ways to say it (as others have done upthread).

 

Anyway!  Laney, I'm so glad you're here and questioning.  It's great that you're being thoughtful and trying to figure out what's best for your baby boy.

 

I like to look at it as an issue of consent.  I wouldn't perform any other unnecessary cosmetic surgery on my child without her/his consent.  I wouldn't allow an equivalent surgery to remove or shorten my daughter's labia.  I wouldn't do these things for a simple reason:  my kid's body, my kid's choice.  

 

We can't really assume that our kids will care that their external sex organs resemble their parents'.  In fact, I think it's unlikely that they would.  It's certainly not something I have ever heard in my life from other women--and no adult man that I have known or overheard has ever expressed regret or delight at his genitals looking like his father's.  I think when we make that argument, we're projecting and guessing about things that may not be important at all to our kids, and at an enormous cost. 

 

If, as you say, there is no good reason to do it--literally, there is no medical reason for it at all--then why do it?  Why not just let your son decide what he wants to do with his body, since it's his?  This way you go down the path of "least harm" and you show you respect his body integrity. :)

 

This site might help you decide:  http://circumcisiondecisionmaker.com/
 

And this quote from here specifically addresses the common worry of your son looking genitally different from his father:

 

 

Quote:

Myth: "A boy should look like his father. If a boy and his father are different, it would be awkward."

 

Fact: Keep in mind that the father needn't have been circumcised in the first place. Still, a circumcised father may be concerned that his son will feel uncomfortable being "different" from his dad if he is not circumcised. Don't worry. Many circumcised fathers are raising intact sons without any feelings of awkwardness in father or son. If a boy ever notices and asks why his father is different, the reason is easily explained. A father should teach his son to appreciate and feel good about his own body. Good parenting is an excellent alternative to amputation. Besides, if the father had lost a finger in an accident earlier in his life, would he want to have his son's finger removed to match?

 

Ronald Goldman, Ph.D., author of Circumcision: The Hidden Trauma wrote a letter to the spokesman of the American Academy of Pediatrics on this very subject.

 

 

Anyway, even if both father and son have part of their foreskin removed, that doesn't really guarantee their penises will look alike, or that your son will care, right?  Why is it so important that their penises look alike--important enough to have unnecessary cosmetic surgery to make it happen--and not any other body part?  Why is a penis resemblance so important?  It would be unconscionable to cut off part of a baby girl's labia at birth so she resembles her mother, right?  So why would the foreskin be any different?  And why stop with genital resemblance?  I think if you look at it that way, the but-I-want-him-to-look-like-his-father idea will seem as strange as it is.

 

And here are 10 good reasons not to circumcise:  http://www.intactamerica.org/resources/decision

 

Best of luck!  I hope you'll come back and let us know how things progress. 


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#17 of 81 Old 02-09-2012, 03:27 PM
 
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My mom and my grandma both are breast-less (due to real medical problems...cancer). I could certainly survive and be healthy without my breasts. But I'm glad that no-one removed mine at birth to try to make me look like someone else, or to try to avoid medical problems (and I might add that breast cancer is a lot more likely and dangerous than any problems I've ever heard of with the foreskin). Sometimes it's helpful to think of how we make decisions about other body parts...

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#18 of 81 Old 02-12-2012, 08:14 AM
 
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#19 of 81 Old 02-12-2012, 08:24 AM
 
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What if the son's eyes are different in color from his dad? Would you do iris implants on a baby? Risky procedure, but available! (Plus, different eye color is quite noticeable - no one has to take their pants off to reveal it, it's a part of first impression, so iris implants should be even more important.)

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#20 of 81 Old 02-12-2012, 03:32 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rnra View Post  Some of them decline, but at least 90% of the time one or both of the infant's parents are present for the entire process.  The parents are right there in full view of everything.  Their comments are usually, "That was way better/easier than I was anticipating."  

 

Once again, I am not pro-circ at all.  However, as you can tell between the differences in my experiences and those by midwifetobe85, the environment that the circ is performed in and the practitioner who does the circ can make a huge difference.  

Welcome to the board.  I hope you'll stick around.

 

With that said, I couldn't give a rat's patootey, what the parents think after the circ.  It's not them that had to endure the procedure, no matter how kind it appeared; the babies are the ones who will live their whole lives w/o a part of their anatomy that they very well would have probably wanted to keep!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I hope that some day you will stop participating in circs that are performed on any underage individual who does not have cancer, gangrene or frostbite.    If you are a nurse, you may want to look into the group: Nurses for the Rights of the Child.  http://nurses.cirp.org/  And, here is a video of a nurse explaining why she is a part of the movement towards genital integrity: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GQiVdAq-U4s

 

Best wishes,

Sus
 

 

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#21 of 81 Old 02-12-2012, 04:10 PM
 
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My husband is a doctor who believed that he had to perform circumcisions as part of his residency training in order to pass.  He did a few and thought that it was the most brutal, horrible experience he had ever been a part of in his life.  While it is true that most of the doctors did give a lidocaine injection, very few of them waited the recommended time for the anesthetic to take effect.  The babies were generally in terrible agony, and he witnessed one get botched to the point that the baby would need extensive reconstructive surgery.  He found it to be completely unethical to perform a painful, unnecessary surgery on a healthy, unconsenting newborn baby, and told his supervisors that he would not continue to be a part of it for which I am very proud of him. 

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#22 of 81 Old 02-12-2012, 05:28 PM
 
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I kind of think that there are all these men in the U.S. walking around not complaining, either (a) because they don't know what they're missing, or (b) if they are having issues related to circumcision, they might not be comfortable talking about it. 

 

My husband is intact, because he is European. He was shocked and horrified to learn that most men of his generation in the U.S. are circumcised. From the perspective of a woman, I can say from my experience that sex with an intact man is much more comfortable for me. The skin that is cut off of a baby's penis would be the size of a 3x5 card on an adult man. That is a lot of missing skin!

 

It never occurred to me until we were watching a movie where a teen boy was embarrassed to be caught using his mother's lotion to masturbate, that DH had no idea what that was all about. 

 

Anyway, I don't really see myself as "freaking out" about this, but I am really glad that DH is intact. We have all girls, but there is no way a son in our family would be circumcised. It wouldn't have anything to do with looking like his dad, though. It's because an intact penis is the healthy standard, because an intact man has more nerve endings and thus more sexual pleasure, and because circumcision carries risks. I have a problem with causing unnecessary risk to my child. There are risks with any procedure, and looking like dad doesn't seem like a good reason for taking those risks, however small. 
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by LaneyMeyer View Post

So, I am new to Mothering but I'm pregnant and am having a boy. I'm trying to decide whether or not to circumcise. We're not religious, but I want him to look like his father, who is circumcised. I have done a lot of reading on the internet and am pretty convinced that there's no medical reason to circumcise. In fact, I found a blog post on this that I wanted to share. She says that there's really no evidence to support circumcising.

 

http://www.squintmom.com/?p=442

 

The thing is, though, I don't know if I believe that circumcision is really harmful. It just doesn't seem like with most of the men in the US walking around circumcised and they're not complaining (it seems like it's women who freak out about it more than men), is it really a problem?

 



 

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#23 of 81 Old 02-12-2012, 08:55 PM
 
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it's your SON'S penis.

you will be changing his diaper for a few years and helping him bathe for maybe a couple years more.

after about age 5, it's all HIS business.

and he will keep his penis, whole or part of it (you get to decide) for the rest of his life.

what if someday he wishes he had a foreskin? 

about 2 out of every 3 boys born in our country today are getting to KEEP their foreskin.

google "sex the way nature intended" for a gentle but graphic look at the way a foreskin functions. 

congratulations on your upcoming child. i hope that by posting in "the case against circumcision" forum you will take to heart the advice you receive here. this place is a great repository of knowledge and strength for mothers and fathers who are interested in breaking the cycle of circumcision in their families. (just think, if you give in to circumcising your son because his father's parents circumcised him, then will your son be having to circumcise his own son someday? and for what?? it's not cleaner, it's not better for his health, it's excruciatingly painful and deprives a male of a lifetime of full sexual function... and also deprives his future partners of a full sexual experience, the way nature intended.)

 

best to you!!

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#24 of 81 Old 02-12-2012, 10:06 PM
 
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it's your SON'S penis.

you will be changing his diaper for a few years and helping him bathe for maybe a couple years more.

after about age 5, it's all HIS business.

and he will keep his penis, whole or part of it (you get to decide) for the rest of his life.

what if someday he wishes he had a foreskin? 

about 2 out of every 3 boys born in our country today are getting to KEEP their foreskin.

google "sex the way nature intended" for a gentle but graphic look at the way a foreskin functions. 

congratulations on your upcoming child. i hope that by posting in "the case against circumcision" forum you will take to heart the advice you receive here. this place is a great repository of knowledge and strength for mothers and fathers who are interested in breaking the cycle of circumcision in their families. (just think, if you give in to circumcising your son because his father's parents circumcised him, then will your son be having to circumcise his own son someday? and for what?? it's not cleaner, it's not better for his health, it's excruciatingly painful and deprives a male of a lifetime of full sexual function... and also deprives his future partners of a full sexual experience, the way nature intended.)

 

best to you!!



This is so true. My son is 16, I don't think I've even glimpsed his penis since he was 6.
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#25 of 81 Old 02-12-2012, 10:08 PM
 
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When my son was 4 and was looking through the book, "It's So Amazing" he noticed a drawing of a circumcised penis next to a drawing of an intact penis. He asked if his penis would look like the circumcised one when he grew up (his daddy is circumcised). It took me about 30 seconds to explain to him why his was different from daddy's, and he was fine with it. I would not suggest allowing a risky, painful cosmetic surgery to avoid 30 seconds of talking.

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#26 of 81 Old 02-14-2012, 09:53 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I think there's a lot more validity to the "looking like father" argument than you all give credence to. A boy WILL see his father naked early in life (though, obviously, not later on), and he'll develop his early feelings about sexuality and his sex organs from comparing himself to his father. Having a penis that looks like his father's penis is very different than a little girl not having breasts; she can be told she will grow them later, and that they are a distinguishing feature of a mature woman. In the same vein, a boy obviously doesn't have the same size penis as a grown man, but knows he'll get there. A fundamentally different-looking penis, however, can impact his feelings about his genitals. Similarly, having a penis that looks different from those of most of the other boys in the locker room (when he's in school) might make him feel uncomfortable. MOST middle class, white boys are circumcised in the US (whether this is right or not), so uncirc'd boys in that demographic are in the minority. In the end, what bothers me is that circumcision is a much bigger deal for an adult than for an infant, and what if I don't circumcise him and he later wants to have it done?

 

Squintmom, the same science blogger who said there are no benefits, has another post about the risks that I think is new, and I just read it earlier today. http://www.squintmom.com/?p=509

 

I think she makes some good points.

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#27 of 81 Old 02-14-2012, 10:08 AM
 
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Is anyone else suspicious about the OP and her rah-rah-ing for SquintMom's blog?


Homeschooling mama to 6 year old DD.

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#28 of 81 Old 02-17-2012, 11:56 AM
 
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Originally Posted by LaneyMeyer View Post

I think there's a lot more validity to the "looking like father" argument than you all give credence to. A boy WILL see his father naked early in life (though, obviously, not later on), and he'll develop his early feelings about sexuality and his sex organs from comparing himself to his father. Having a penis that looks like his father's penis is very different than a little girl not having breasts; she can be told she will grow them later, and that they are a distinguishing feature of a mature woman. In the same vein, a boy obviously doesn't have the same size penis as a grown man, but knows he'll get there. A fundamentally different-looking penis, however, can impact his feelings about his genitals. Similarly, having a penis that looks different from those of most of the other boys in the locker room (when he's in school) might make him feel uncomfortable.

 

I actualy do not agree with this line of thought. I could not care what my Dad's penis looked like - I would much rather have kept my foreskin.  I spent all 12 years of grade school in boarding schools, and was shocked, at the age of 6 to discover what had happened to me on the very first night, when we were all herded into the communal shower room for our evening bath. About 2/3 were circumcised and it was never a big deal - everyone just accepted that some penises were different, and I cannot recall one single instance of teasing based on circumcision status.  However, as the years have gone by and I have learned more and more about the form, function and value of a foreskin, I  have become more and more angry and disappointed that I was deprived of mine.

 

Incidentaly, circumcision does not only have physical ramifications. The procedure can often have a  psychological impact too. See: www.cirp.org/library/psych/brain_damage/index.html .

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#29 of 81 Old 02-17-2012, 04:01 PM
 
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Originally Posted by LaneyMeyer View Post

I think there's a lot more validity to the "looking like father" argument than you all give credence to. A boy WILL see his father naked early in life (though, obviously, not later on), and he'll develop his early feelings about sexuality and his sex organs from comparing himself to his father. Having a penis that looks like his father's penis is very different than a little girl not having breasts; she can be told she will grow them later, and that they are a distinguishing feature of a mature woman. In the same vein, a boy obviously doesn't have the same size penis as a grown man, but knows he'll get there. A fundamentally different-looking penis, however, can impact his feelings about his genitals. Similarly, having a penis that looks different from those of most of the other boys in the locker room (when he's in school) might make him feel uncomfortable. MOST middle class, white boys are circumcised in the US (whether this is right or not), so uncirc'd boys in that demographic are in the minority. In the end, what bothers me is that circumcision is a much bigger deal for an adult than for an infant, and what if I don't circumcise him and he later wants to have it done?

Squintmom, the same science blogger who said there are no benefits, has another post about the risks that I think is new, and I just read it earlier today. http://www.squintmom.com/?p=509

I think she makes some good points.

Actually the cut rate has dropped to closer than half. And don't assume that all your friend's boys are cut. Some folks never consider it "up for discussion" but you might notice later on when you take the boys to swim lessons or something.

Back to dads, my son never said a word about his intact self vs the look of his cut dad. I'm was never so proud of my hubby as when he agreed to keep his son whole. My son is 16, he's never had any negative peer interaction to having an intact member. Also, I moved him mid-childhood from a high circ area to a low circ one... the boys here are just not done unless their family's Jewish traditions prevail upon them.

Adult circumcision, ... the adult male can at least be properly anesthetized for surgery. Sadly , infants are almost never numbed properly and they do feel intense pain that disrupts bonding and breastfeeding.
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#30 of 81 Old 02-17-2012, 06:57 PM
 
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Hi and welcome.  This blog helped me decide.

http://9davids.blogspot.com/2010/11/50-reasons-to-leave-it-alone.html

As far as looking like daddy, how many constantly compare with dad?  How many girls compare with mom?  That is just such a strange argument to me.  My DH doesn't know what his dad's looks like and isn't interested.  

 


happy family!joy.gif we winner.jpgfemalesling.GIFnocirc.gif

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